Shit shovel officer he always collapses [Quick Transmigration]

362 honestly came back after checking: Today, if the coffin is over 1000 yuan, minus 60 will be free shipping. The store said that members who recharge 500 yuan can also enjoy the discount of buy one get one free. If the coffin is uncomfortable, members can return it first. Do you want to become a member?

Jiang Zuo: "..." Go to hell with me.

Not only did the spicy chicken system not help him find a way, but he actually went to Taobao. Facing this unreliable dog system, Jiang Zuo felt that if he wanted to survive, he could only rely on being smart, witty, handsome and talented. own up.

Jiang Zuo, fighting alone, bit his claws, before the holy monk grabbed him and began to torture him, he flew to the plate, he picked out the smallest and thinnest slice of pear blossom cake, and then put the slice of pear blossom cake Dragged to the wall at the bottom of the ledge.

After standing still under the window, the fat round squirrel tightly grasped the piece of pear cake with its two paws that were smaller than Wangzai's steamed bun. It raised its small arms and lifted the pear cake high above the small With his head and two paws on both sides of the pear cake, he stood upright with his back against the wall.

Jiang Zuo was about to think himself too clever: I felt that I was punished to stand still, because I was too embarrassed to hurt me again.

The corners of the holy monk's lips twitched slightly, and a trace of coldness floated in his narrow and long eyes. He lightly closed his cloud sleeves, revealing a small wrist like a jade, with five slender and powerful fingers outstretched.Qingchi raised his arm and slowly picked up a piece of pear cake, and then lightly placed it on top of the piece of pear cake that the little squirrel held up.

Between raising hands and feet, the end is elegant and complacent.

The holy monk laid them down one by one, and soon, the pear cakes that Jiang Zuo raised above his head piled up a tall cake tower, and the paws became heavier and heavier, and the fleshy forelimbs that were pressed were also trembling with soreness. When he got up, Jiang Zuo's heart was pierced like a knife and tears fell like rain: ...Damn dog man, he doesn't play cards according to the routine at all.

The few pieces of pear cake left in the plate were stacked on top of his head at this moment, if he accidentally dropped it, he would be smashed all over his body, Jiang Zuo didn't dare to move, he thought it was over, but he didn't expect the dog to force The holy monk went so far that he stretched out his finger and started poking his armpit.

There is a small depression in the armpit of the squirrel group. The holy monk aimed at this depression, and every time he stretched out his hand to poke, the squirrel under his finger shook violently.

Crumbs of pear cake fell from the top of the head, and the cool fingertips poked straight at the armpit. This time, they didn't take it away, but started to circle around the depression, Jiang Zuo itched. Trembling all over, trembling crazily: ... Man, you are playing with fire!

The pear cake was also placed, and the armpit was also poked, but the greasy little squirrel still did not give up. The finger of the holy monk wrapped around Jiangzuo's armpit paused slightly, and then took it away again. .

Unexpectedly, he won against the shady monk, Jiang Zuo's confidence soared: I am really a persistent man!

At this time, the simple punishment of standing has become a major event related to the dignity of men. Jiang Zuo adjusted his breathing. Put it on top of the pear cake, and start pressing down harder.

The arms seemed to be supporting a weight of hundreds of catties, and Jiang Zuo's knees could not straighten up. At this moment, all the pear cakes held high on his paws suddenly broke into pieces, and pieces of pear blossom cakes appeared from the top of his head. It slammed down like a hailstone, and the finger of the holy monk who crushed the pear cake but didn't retract it hit Jiangzuo's forehead with a "slap".

Jiang Zuo covered his head and knelt down on the coffee table tremblingly. He was covered in white pastry crumbs, and the beard on both sides of his cheeks was covered with crumbs like rime-covered branches. The whole mouse looked like I just jumped into the snow to roll and play with the little hairball covered in snow.

Seeing the host's wrinkled face as if dying of pain, 362 asked: Are you really not a member?The store also said that one person recharges and the whole family enjoys a discount.

Jiang Zuo was in so much pain that he couldn't speak.

On the contrary, the pleased monk was in a good mood and rewarded a piece of snow-capped plum on the left side of the river, and then called someone to bring in a bucket of hot water.

Jiang Zuo, with a big swollen forehead, slumped beside the wall, sadly gnawed on the snow-capped plum with his bulging belly, and his small nose twitched with the chewing movements of his cheeks, and the top was still stained with white snow. The crumbs look very lovely.

Jiang·much cuter than cute·mouse dismissively: Hmph, don't think I'll forgive you if you bring hot water to help me take a bath, I'll tell you I'll take revenge!

After the bathtub was brought in, the holy monk dropped Jiangzuo and lifted his feet to go behind the screen. The room began to be filled with mist, and a rustling sound came from behind the screen, followed by the soft sound of someone being immersed in the water.

Jiang Zuo found out that the holy monk calling for hot water was not for bathing himself at all, and everything was self-indulgent. Jiang Zuo tried his best to swallow his tears and pride: ...I will never forgive you, a dog man, in this life...

The sad Jiang Zuo turned over and lay on the coffee table with his limbs sprawled out. The claws pushed down all the snow-capped plums that looked like hills with a "crash".

The snow-mountain plums fell all over the coffee table, Jiang Zuo suddenly remembered something, gathered several snow-mountain plums into a pile with two claws, and then hugged them.

Holding the snow plums in his arms, Jiang Zuo staggered to the bed, and quietly hid a few snow plums under the monk's pillow.

Jiang Zuo was about to hum a song: half asleep at night, he could get up and eat snacks when he was hungry, happy.

After finishing all this, Jiang Zuo quietly climbed onto the small collapsed coffee table by the window, flicked his tail leisurely, looked out the window with the evening wind blowing, and pretended that nothing happened just now.

After a while, the holy monk who had bathed came out from behind the screen.

Qing Chi's body was covered with hot and humid water vapor after bathing, and his thin lips were also stained with a bright and coquettish luster.He walked slowly to the coffee table, and his gaze lightly glanced at the two sporadically scattered snow-capped plums left on the porcelain plate, and then fell on the squirrel dumpling who was sitting by the side with very stiff movements.

The holy monk lifted the guilty Jiang Zuo up, and carried him to the side of the bathtub.

Seeing the hot water in the bathtub, Jiang Zuo suddenly got a little scared and curled himself up into a ball: ...Is it interesting to bully me, an honest person, all day long? !

He watched helplessly as the hot water covered his scrambling short legs, snow-white lower abdomen, fluffy front paws, and short neck... Jiang Zuo thrashed his limbs, struggling to cry out. "Meow", the voice was still in his throat, and he found that after the hot water soaked his neck, he stopped the upward trend.

Jiang Zuo raised his head in a daze, and found that the holy monk rolled up his sleeves, dipped his hands in the water, and helped him wipe off the pear cake that was stained on his body.

Jiang Zuo, who survived the catastrophe and can still enjoy the scrubbing service, relaxed his limbs, groaned twice comfortably, arched his little butt, felt the force of his fingertips rubbing against his lower abdomen, squinted his eyes and gave a long spank burp.

Suddenly remembered something, Jiang Zuo, who was half-hiccupped, tensed up, stretched out two small paws to cover his mouth tightly, and swallowed the remaining hiccups back into his stomach.

Taking a sneak peek, Jiang Zuo heaved a sigh of relief seeing that the holy monk didn't seem to bother drowning him.

As soon as Jiang Zuo relaxed, the full belch he had just swallowed suddenly sank down his lower abdomen, and a few small bubbles appeared on the surface of the water, "Gulu", "Gulu".

The holy monk froze.

Jiang Zuo pretended to be innocent and pretended to be cute: I didn't fart on purpose, hee hee, hee hee hee hee...

Before he had time to let out a gloating pig cry, Jiang Zuo's lower abdomen was pulled in pain, and when he lowered his head, he saw a piece of white hair floating on the water.

"..."

Jiang Zuo's eyes darkened.

Whether it is three years in high school or just entering university, Jiang Zuo has been voted "the most popular boy in summer" by the boys of the same school, and there is no one.The reason is that when Jiang Zuo walks around the campus wearing shorts in summer, he will receive many envelopes from school girls and even girls from other schools.The pink and blue envelopes were sprayed with fragrant perfume. The girls who delivered the letters were all shy and shy, and there was no boy in the same school who was not jealous.

Only Jiang Zuo knew that the envelope was opened, and on the pink and blue letter paper inside, all the questions were why his leg hair was so clean, what brand was the hair removal cream, where did he buy it, and how much would it cost to buy it for him? question.

Jiang Zuo: I really believed in your evil.

Since becoming a squirrel, Jiang Zuo not only has hair on his legs from the waist down, Jiang Zuo was also a little happy when he thought that he was covered in hair all over his body.

Now, this thick hair, which represents the source of all his happiness, was bald by the dog forcing the holy monk.

Jiang Zuo wiped his tears and then fell out: ... I want to kill you, you dog man QAQ

That night, Jiang Zuo, who hadn't reacted from the blow, stroked his thinning belly in a daze, lying on the bed and weeping silently.

After tossing around in the middle of the night, he finally fell asleep, and was dragged into the arms of the cold holy monk in a daze. Jiang Zuo was frozen stiff, especially his bald belly was still clinging to the holy monk. Jiang Zuo sniffed his snot: ...quickly...quickly frozen...squirrel...read...to find out...

Before dawn the next day, Jiang Zuo was woken up by the movement of the holy monk.

What time is it?Jiang Zuo rubbed his sleepy eyes, sat up from the arms of the holy monk, turned over and rolled himself into the quilt that was still warm, and continued to sleep with his head covered.

After Qingchi washed and changed his clothes, he picked up Jiang Zuo, who was wrapped in the bed with only a small head exposed.

Jiang Zuo, who hadn't woken up, wobbled and couldn't even stand on the shoulders of the holy monk. Qingchi stuffed the squirrel dumpling with drooping eyelids into his wide sleeves, got up and went to the hall for morning class.

Yaoyao bells echoed in the temple, and Jiang Zuo hid in the monk's wide cuffs, snoring again with his little paws on his pillow.

After arriving at the main hall, the holy monk took his seat slowly, and subconsciously fumbled in his sleeves, but unexpectedly found nothing.

The sleeves were empty, but the squirrel group that was supposed to sleep soundly in the sleeves was gone.

Qing Chi's cheeks sank slightly, he frowned, and his gaze swept across the hall.

I saw a fist-sized squirrel kneeling upright on the knee of the huge golden Buddha statue in the middle of the hall.

One paw of the squirrel's hairball was caressing his somewhat bald belly, and the other small paw was resting on the knee of the Buddha statue. The posture seemed to be chatting with an old familiar friend. Jiang Zuo raised his round, fleshy face With a small face, he gazed sadly at the golden chin of the Buddha statue.

Jiang Zuo burst into tears and complained in a low voice: Buddha, listen to me, this old dog is not a good person, please help me to save him.

The author has something to say: Squeeze the little faces of the babies: