Offensive change: superficial love

Yan Ziyou was buried in a private cemetery, which she personally picked at the beginning of the year she died.

Occasionally, when Yan Ju recalled this incident, he couldn't help but think about it from a superstitious perspective.

It may indeed be unlucky to prepare for the afterlife while alive.

It couldn't be that she had a premonition of something in advance.

The cemetery is divided into three areas, the lawn by the beach, the low cliff halfway up the mountain and the dense forest on the top of the mountain.

Yan Ziyou chose the low cliff because she wanted to see the sea and the sunset.

However, Chu Ruxu didn't seem to expect that their destination would be the cemetery.

When Yan Jue reported the address, he obviously realized that the carefully selected red roses in his arms were very presumptuous under such circumstances. Chu Ruxu couldn't help but feel a little at a loss, with a nervous expression on his face, he was about to stuff the flowers wrapped by himself into the backup box.

Seeing his panic, Yan Ju couldn't help but want to laugh.

"Don't worry about it." He walked to Chu Ruxu, took the bouquet, lowered his head and smelled it, "It's very beautiful, I like it very much, thank you."

"But... I—"

Before Chu Ruxu finished speaking, Yan Ju seemed to have guessed what he was going to explain. He squeezed the other person's shoulder lightly, and took the initiative to comfort him: "Don't worry, it's not that particular."

Yan Ju looked at him sincerely, the corners of his eyes curved gently, his light colored pupils were like amber, bright as water rippling inside.

"She likes people and things that are beautiful and alive." He said jokingly, "I will be happy to see you."

……

Chu Ruxu drove Yan Ju, circling upwards along the winding road around the mountain, but the two of them didn't communicate much along the way.

Chu Ruxu, who was usually talkative, kept quiet, and only dared to glance at Yan Ju occasionally worriedly, for fear that she would make the scene awkward by choosing the wrong topic.

Yan Ju didn't notice Chu Ruxu's careful thoughts, but just silently looked out the window, emptied his mind, trying to prevent external environmental stimuli from awakening the past memories.

He couldn't say he was in a bad mood, just a little sad.

From the day of the burial to the present, he has only visited Yan Ziyou three times.

A middle school graduation, a high school graduation, and a college graduation.

As if following some strange sense of ritual, Yan Ji is only willing to appear at important points in life.

After reporting the results of the previous stage in detail, he fled far away, as if he could not avoid this way of pining his thoughts.

His feelings for Yan Ziyou are always complicated.

However, this kind of complexity is not uncommon. It is just the awkwardness caused by poor communication in the parent-child relationship, which probably manifests itself to varying degrees in every family.

The only difference is that Yan Ju didn't get the chance to untie his knot.

Yan Ju loves his mother very much, and also likes to cling to her. Although the other party's mood is often unstable, and he will always use unpredictable attitudes to expel himself from her world, but this can't change the instinctive attachment.

But after all, when the other party left without saying goodbye, it was an unforgetable abandonment to Yan Ju.

It's hard to let go, what Yan Ju thought about day and night when he was a child was to wait for an explanation from his mother.

After Ziyou passed away, he began to wait for another person's explanation.

This process is really long.

It has been so long that Yan Ji has convinced himself to accept the reality in the process of growing up.

Life has to go on.

The only thing he can do is to stay away from the memories and deliberately escape on a path that does not overlap with his parents.

Try to desensitize and avoid repeating the same mistakes...

"I won't go in." Chu Ruxu handed the two bouquets of flowers to Yan Jue's hands.

Yan Ju didn't care, since he invited Chu Ruxu, there was nothing to shy away from.

But Chu Ruxu's attitude is very firm.

"You should be cautious about meeting your parents for the first time." He smiled and said to Yan Yu, "I'll come back after you agree to be with me, and I'll buy the ring."

Yan Ju couldn't help but twitched the corners of his lips, freed his hand, and knocked Chu Ruxu on the head: "Save your sweet words to deceive others, I won't talk to you."

"That can't be done." Chu Ruxu grabbed Yan Ju's hand, and before the other party could react, he wrapped his arms around his wrist bone, squeezed it lightly, and then let it go immediately.

"Only you are willing to talk to me." Chu Ruxu said.

His eyes were deep, as if hiding some emotion that Yan Ji couldn't understand.

This is also strange to say, as if there is some metaphor hidden, otherwise, with Chu Ruxu's hardware conditions and family background, she should be a star everywhere.

For things that are not sure enough, Yan Ji is more inclined not to act rashly.

So he didn't answer, but he didn't force it anymore.

Yan Ju rubbed the child's head, said "wait for me" lightly, and walked in alone.

The surrounding environment is very good, and the annual six-figure management fee is indeed not in vain.

There is an independent small yard in front of each tomb, and the staff will regularly change the decorations for the deceased according to the wishes of the family members.

Although it's been a long time since I've been here, Yan Ju still recognized which one belonged to his mother at a glance.

After all, surrounded by countless blooming lilies, it is indeed a bit conspicuous.

What Yan Ziyou bought was a joint burial tomb, but Yan Ji made her own decision and only engraved her own name on the center of the stele.

No intention of leaving room for another person.

He gently placed the two bouquets of flowers on the stone platform, opened his mouth slightly, and was rarely at a loss.

It's like I don't know what to use as an opening statement.

After hesitating for a while, Yan Ju finally opened his mouth: "Mom, long time no see."

It's cliche and mundane.

Yan Ju laughed at himself, and continued, "Nothing special has happened in the past few years, and I forgot to see you."

He summed up his entrepreneurial experience in the past few years as if he was giving a work report, but halfway through the talk, even he himself felt bored.

Looking at Yan Ziyou's bright smiling face on the tombstone, Yan Jie was inevitably in a daze.

What do ordinary children talk to their mothers when they reach this age?

Yan Yu was thinking blankly.

His experience with his family is too old. After all, topics like "Which kid ate a crayon by mistake today" and "Who didn't do their homework and was asked to stand for punishment" are obviously not applicable now.

After a long silence, Yan Ji tentatively found the topic again: "I broke up."

He paused, then seemed to remember something again: "Oh, I didn't seem to tell you when I came last time."

"I've been in a relationship with someone for a long time. It's plain and flat. I don't think I like each other very much. We just got together by chance. It's just a companion to pass the time."

"It's completely different from the way you two get along, so I was originally satisfied."

"Later I found out that he had lied to me, so we broke up." Yan Ju twitched the corners of his lips, smiled a little forcedly, and there was something childish between the lines, "It's nothing interesting, we won't talk about it in the future."

After finishing speaking, Yan Ju somehow thought of Chu Ruxu who was waiting for him outside.

In front of his eyes, he could even see the other party sitting in the car, playing with the flowers he just sent out with satisfaction, and waiting for him with anticipation.

Yan Yu suddenly felt a little guilty.

He hasn't figured out the reason yet, but his mouth is one step ahead of him, and he fills in the second half of the sentence: "Let's see again, we can't say for sure."

This made even Yan Ji himself feel a little bit wrong.

He couldn't help but be thankful that Chu Ruxu didn't follow, otherwise the little rascal would have misinterpreted his meaning.

Chu Ruxu has always been keen on reductio adduction, and is also very good at selective deafness—only picking what he wants to hear.

"That person...he didn't try to contact me again, and when I tried to find him afterwards, he disappeared again." The conversation changed, and after a long time of laying the groundwork, Yan Ji, who finally talked about an important topic, had a serious expression. .

He hadn't meant to say that.

Unfortunately, Chu Ruxu's resolute refusal to follow made him regretfully lose a reasonable excuse not to talk about this matter.

"The police said that he probably changed his identity through some means and fled the country a long time ago. The abnormal behavior six years ago may be to bid farewell to me and the past."

Yan Ju gently stroked his mother's portrait, with a gloomy expression: "I'm sorry Mom, I shouldn't be soft-hearted and hesitant at that time."

"I regret it every day."

……

After saying everything he wanted to say, Yan Ju sat quietly in front of Yan Ziyou's grave for a long time, until the noisy seagulls chirping in the distance broke the silence.

He stood up slowly, and said jokingly, "I'm a little too talkative today, so don't get annoyed by me again."

"Don't bother you anymore, you rest and take care of yourself, I—"

Will I see you often in the future?

See you next time?

Or who will you bring to see you next time?

Yan Ji didn't know what he wanted to say, so he simply chose not to continue.

After all, he failed to make any promises, and he didn't really intend to visit frequently.

Every time he returned to this city, Yan Ju seemed to be exposed to a stressor suddenly, and would always have a severe allergic reaction without knowing it.

Even normal breathing is accompanied by a secret tingling pain.

On the way out, Yan Ju kept adjusting his emotions, trying not to let Chu Ruxu see anything.

After all, Chu Ruxu cared more about him than Yan Ju did for him.

It can be said that Ju is really not good at being taken care of.

He couldn't adapt to the feeling of being treated carefully, and he didn't want to have a sensitive and vulnerable side in the eyes of the other party.

I don't want sympathy and pity, especially from Chu Ruxu.

In his relationship with Chu Ruxu, he really didn't dare to appear weak.

In addition to the subtle self-esteem of the older party, it is also because it would make Yan Ji very uneasy.

Uneasy, like a harbinger of losing control.

However, at the moment he met Chu Ruxu, Yan Ju realized that the psychological construction he had done was meaningless.

Chu Ruxu was still standing where he had just left, as if he had never moved half a step.

He just lowered his head and didn't know what he was thinking, just waiting there obediently.

Like a telepathy, Chu Ruxu suddenly raised her head, just happened to see Yan Ju's returning figure, and finally made a new movement.

Against the light, he smiled exaggeratedly, and kept waving his hands in the direction of Yan Ju, with the endless sea behind him.

Yan Ju's brain seemed to directly declare a strike.

Maybe it was because of the drunkenness from last night, maybe it was driven by a bad mood and urgently needed a comfort, or maybe it was Chu Ruxu's persistent temptation, which finally had a significant effect.

Enslaved by his feelings and emotions, he walked straight up to Chu Ruxu, gently opened his arms, and hugged her.

But Yan Ji's movements were very vain, as if he didn't dare to touch it.

Even more polite than hugging a good partner.

His lips were very close to Chu Ruxu's ear, almost touching, and he could even see the transparent and fine fluff on the tip of Chu Ruxu's red ear.

Also strangely cute.

He guessed that Chu Ruxu could clearly hear the breathing of the two gradually synchronized.

Yan Ju smiled, automatically abandoning reason, without any thought, let himself be completely driven by the current perception, and invited softly: "Ruxu, I have booked a ticket to fly to Ningcheng tomorrow morning."

"you……"

"Would you like to come home with me?"

The author says:

Do you want to go home with me (x);

Do you want me (√)