give you warm light

This can be regarded as the most leisurely year that two people have spent together.

As the new year was approaching, Shao Gan didn't plan to do anything else, he just waited for the next year to start.During this period of time, it is considered to be with my wife.The two of them had nothing to do, so they basically stayed at home.When cooking with a coal stove during the day, an extra piece will be burned to keep the house warmer.If the weather outside is fine and the snow on the ground does not turn into muddy water and flow into rivers, the two of them will go shopping.Shopping, that is, shopping on the street, has reached the highest level of shopping.Of course, there is actually a warmer way - hugging in bed and having sex.

On the 28th of the twelfth lunar month, the two of them also bought a pair and posted it, thinking about going back to Xiangcheng.Except for calling his family once when he first came out, Mo Tong basically never contacted his family again.He also knew that it might be the best result for his parents that he didn't show up.I understand it, but when I see other people's sons walking shoulder to shoulder with their parents on the street, there is always some inexplicable sadness.

The two packed up and prepared to go home. They hadn't discussed how to go back to Xiangcheng, but they went back to Nandi (village) immediately after returning to Xiangcheng. Ma Xiaoyu came here with a sad face.

Shao Gan happened to be going to the pancake shop and left the two of them at home to communicate, so as not to keep glancing at Ma Xiaoyu before he spoke.

As soon as Shao Gan left, Ma Xiaoyu said: "Man, there is really no good thing."

Mo Tong disagreed, "I think Shao Gan and I are fine."

"Oh." Ma Xiaoyu sighed, with a look of hatred for iron.Mo Tong thought about which guy was so lucky to let Ma Xiaoyu care so much, and heard Ma Xiaoyu say: "I'm cheap. I felt it before, and I feel it even more now."

How deep and thorough is this introspection?Mo Tong looked at Ma Xiaoyu in surprise, thinking back and forth in his heart, he still felt that this matter probably had something to do with Wang Biao.Sure enough, Ma Xiaoyu continued, "That day I went to stay in a hotel, met Wang Biao, and then slept with him."

Mo Tong actually wanted to say that he must have been fucked.

Ma Xiaoyu said: "I'm just being cheap, I didn't think so at first."

Ma Xiaoyu walked around the house, took out the only half of the hard steamed bun left in the steamed bun basket, took a small bench and sat by the stove, and began to bake the steamed bun.It was also thanks to them that they didn't turn off the fire in the morning, they just wanted to turn around and ask Ma Xiaoyu if there was any place to live, and let him stay for a while.To be honest, a person who is older than the Chinese New Year is strangely deserted.

"I had a good idea. When I become a powerful person and buy a villa bigger than his by my own ability, I must stand side by side with him. Do you understand? Just don't think about it like this, always A bitch." Ma Xiaoyu used tongs to make holes in the coal balls, smashing them into dust, and said in a tone full of self-loathing and helplessness, "You don't know that day...I don't know either. I feel that I can't live without him. But he definitely doesn’t think so, he must think, look, a college student, isn’t he as shy as a dog and letting me, a bench-legged (junior high school) graduate, fuck me?”

"That's a serious word. He definitely doesn't think so. It may be a problem developed by rich people. Nobility is used to it."

"If you really care about a person, it will definitely not be like that."

"What's wrong with you?" Mo Tong pushed his shoulder, and Ma Xiaoyu swayed gently with his strength.

"I don't know either. I just woke up early this morning and found myself so fucking out of place in that villa. It wasn't his house, it was another one. Sometimes I can't help but think, besides having sex in the past , does he usually regard it as his home? I know it shouldn't be so noisy, he is busy, he is a big money earner, and there are more people who follow his ass every day to flatter than the students in the entire campus. But is that a life? That’s a companion.” Ma Xiaoyu wrinkled his nose, and gave Mo Tong a distasteful look, “Although Shao Gan wasn’t a good choice, sometimes I really envy you. You are more knowledgeable than him If you have more, you can have a high profile, and you don't have to be as low as I am now... "

People tend to be impulsive, and if they do something impulsively, they will naturally regret it.Ma Xiaoyu's impulsive temper can poke a hole in the sky, naturally he has many regrets.Look at it now, he regrets it.The self-improvement plan that was originally planned, only persisted until the man finished his work and appeared in front of him.To put it bluntly, there is no sense of security.I lost my mother since I was a child, my father didn't kiss my stepmother and didn't love me, and I also had a half-brother who was always against me.There are too many days when a person wanders alone outside without warmth. Once he holds a trace of warmth, he is reluctant to let go, and even desires more.But life is always like this, the more you care about it, the more eager you are to ask for it, the more securely you will stand on the ground and watch you struggle and distress without expression.Ma Xiaoyu knew that he should break free, so he went to be himself.But, it's so difficult.

Mo Tong said: "You don't have to say that. Didn't you give your identity to yourself? If you think highly of yourself, you will naturally be high. If you take yourself lightly, why should others think high of you?"

Ma Xiaoyu stared blankly at the red briquettes in front of him, and Mo Tong said, "This is the only face you can see, don't let your face burn like a hornet's nest."

Ma Xiaoyu just laughed, turned over the scorched steamed bun and said, "I know the truth, but it is difficult to do it. Wang Biao and I are different from you and Shao Gan. But it is also true. If I underestimate myself, Wang Biao That guy doesn't care about me anymore. Sometimes I really think, let's just break up. But it's too troublesome and painful. Well, let me think about it."

At this thought, Ma Xiaoyu thought of going to Xiangcheng.People have said that if you want to change yourself from the inside out, you have to go to a remote place, it is best to find a cliff and spend a month facing the wall in thought.Back then, Ouyang Feng lived on a mountain by himself, and first practiced the peerless magic skills.Mo Tong was quite speechless, saying that you can compare to Ouyang Feng with one toe, and you won't be lost by Wang Biao.

Anyway, he was carrying his bag with him. Before he left, he was doing his duty as a current boyfriend. He called Wang Biao and said he would go out for a while.

In fact, there are too few people in Ma Xiaoyu's life to pay attention to, and too few things to do, so he feels that Wang Biao is the only place where he can spend his time and affection.It's good to leave for a period of time, it can calm myself down, and it can also show that my hotel's behavior was impulsive.Well, even though he didn't believe it himself.

Shao An didn't let Sun Min go back to the county with him. After much deliberation, he still didn't want Sun Min to go to a strange place for him.He should also start a career first, so that he can have the confidence to let his wife move from the urban area to the county seat.Yes, she is already a wife. Even now thinking about it, Shao An still feels that life really treats him kindly.Such an ordinary person like him has such a beautiful and kind wife.

When a cooperating partner met Sun Min, they would joke, "Shao An, what kind of shit luck did you have? You married such a good-looking wife, and you still eat public food (national rice bowl)."

Shao An would laugh, and he would nod and admit what others said.It's just luck.

Shao An went back after visiting Shao Gan, got the certificate and soon went to the county, a few thoughtful people gathered together, pooled a large sum of money, and borrowed a sum of money, trying to do heavy lifting .Originally, there were many similar small factories in the county, and they put up a "Shengyuan" sign when they combined them. Some of them specialize in running contracts, and some went to the small factories below to contact various spare parts.Small parts and spare parts seem inconspicuous, but the profit is huge when the list is made.In just over a month, a few people made several orders worth tens of thousands.

The factory in the village is also closed for Chinese New Year, so Shao An and the others naturally also take the holiday in accordance with the occasion.Hearing that my younger brother is coming back, it is natural to make better cloth for the house.

Now Shao An and his wife live in an old community near the kindergarten where Sun Min works. They rent two rooms and one living room.In an old-fashioned house, the "room" and "hall" are very small.What the two of them didn't expect was that they greeted their younger brother with joy, and it was indeed three big men who welcomed them.This made Shao An sick, but he hoped that his brother could bring a girl back, no matter what.

But Ma Xiaoyu has good eyesight, so he just came to see the size of Shao An's house, if he really could accommodate him, he would naturally not live outside.He thought that Shao An also started working part-time very early, and recently he heard that he is getting better again, and married a good wife. At least he should live in a decent place.When I saw it, I realized that it was a very ordinary accommodation like a normal dual-career family. It was a dual-career with a low salary, and it was rented.

After eating, Ma Xiaoyu went out to find a small hotel nearby, and went to visit the beautiful scenery of Xiangcheng with a badly faded bag on his back.Mo Tong was also a little absent-minded.During lunch, Sun Min asked, Mo Tong, won't you go home and visit your parents?In the afternoon, he frequently winks at Shao Gan, which is self-evident.

Mo Tong said back, but now that he came out, he couldn't get out no matter what.

In fact, Xiangcheng has not changed much in the past two years, but the street in the center has been widened.Shao Gan sent Mo Tong downstairs, but he didn't go with him.The more you are at home, the more careful you have to be, not to mention the rumors that Mo Tong had before, he dare not confirm the rumors.Although that rumor is true.He can only buy gifts and send people to the bus.

Sometimes life is so helpless, you have to consider the people in your family, the eyes of people around you, and all the things that are actually irrelevant to your life.

Mo Tong was walking on a familiar street and wandered for a long time before he dared to enter the neighborhood where his family lived.Unfortunately, I ran into an acquaintance as soon as I approached the community, an aunt who liked to praise him very much before.The auntie stared at him for a while before she seemed to recognize him. She took two steps and asked, "When did Tongtong come back? Oh, this kid is real. He has been away for two years, and we all thought something happened."

Mo Tong didn't know whether her concern was true or not, because when she was surrounded by rumors, the perm-haired aunt also said, "Oh, I can't see my heart even when I grow up, who knows that one day So can an excellent child become a talent? Oh, don’t be like what others say, there is something bad about it.”

Mo Tong nodded and said, "Hello, Aunt Liang."

"You won't leave when you come back? It's been desolate enough to have only your parents during the Chinese New Year for the past two years."

Mo Tong was stunned for a moment, and said with a smile, "I forgot to wish Aunt Liang a happy new year, Aunt Liang, happy new year."

"Oh, you child, hurry home."

Mo Tong had forgotten that today is New Year's Eve.No wonder Sun Min kept giving Shao Gan winks before dinner was ready, telling him to drive him home.Mo Tong would not misinterpret Sun Min's meaning, she just wanted Mo Tong to go back in his thirties, so as to avoid the cold face of some parents.Probably the parents all over the world, their hearts are the softest at this moment.

A group of children ran out from the inside, shaking Didi Jin. Mo Tong didn't recognize the group of children, and only found a sense of familiarity from the faces of two of them.Changes are too fast and everyone is growing.Mo Tong took a deep breath, and went upstairs with the fruit bag and a box of dried fruit in his hand.

After knocking on the door for a long time, I heard Zhang Xueying's smiling voice saying, "Here it is, who is this New Year's greeting, it's so early."

When the door opened, both mother and son were stunned.Zhang Xueying was stunned when she saw the people outside the door, and Mo Tong was stunned when she saw the smile quickly faded from the face of the person who opened the door.

In the end, it was Mo Tong who spoke first. He passed the gift in his hand, forced a smile and said, "Mom, happy new year."

Zhang Xueying's tightly closed lips trembled, but instead of opening the door wider, she asked through a door, "Have you changed it?"

Mo Tong withdrew his hand in frustration, looked down the corridor, and noticed that there were no pedestrians and said: "Mom, I didn't do anything harmful. There are related novels published in Taiwan, and the United States also admits..."

"Are you living in the United States or in Taiwan? If you don't change, don't enter this door. Do you know how long it took your dad and me to get rid of the eyes of the neighbors? Your dad is only 40 years old, and he should be promoted At that time, because of you, you would rise up and fall down in secret, and in this life you can only be a minister with a reputation but no real power in the Cultural Bureau."

Mo Tong didn't want to hear these things, he thought about many possibilities, but he didn't expect Zhang Xueying to say such things when he saw him.Mo Tong imagined the meeting scene on the way here. He would rather Zhang Xueying beat her head and face with a rolling pin and then cried, than to say that our family has no future because of you.

He put the gift at the door and said as sincerely as possible: "Mom, happy new year, and I also wish dad a happy new year."

Mo Liangyu's voice came from the room that had been quiet all this time, and he roared, "What happiness are you talking about! How happy am I to have a son like you!"

Mo Tong turned around and ran down, trying to take a deep breath, but still couldn't hold back the tears welling up in his eyes.The Aunt Liang I saw just now turned back at some point, and Mo Tong couldn't avoid it in time to be watched.Aunt Liang took his hand and said, "Oh, don't be sad when it's Chinese New Year. Just come back and run around more often, and let your parents vent. Children, it's okay to be wronged a little bit. How can parents not feel sorry for you? children's?"

Mo Tong nodded indiscriminately, breaking away from Aunt Liang's unrealistic concern.He is afraid now, and people's hearts are the most unpredictable.When things are going well for you, there are always people waiting to see if you get into trouble.When you are in the pit, there will always be someone standing by the pit and stretching out his hand and saying, come on, come on, I will give you a hand.But when you really want to climb out, he may regret it again, fearing that you will have a better life than yourself, so he pretended to be careless and let go, falling to pieces again.

It was getting dark, and more and more small cannons sounded.The New Year's Eve dinner will start soon, and Mo Tong can even hear the loud sound of New Year's greetings coming from someone's TV.On TV, Ni Ping said goodbye to the old and welcome the new with a full and enthusiastic voice.It was a rare time when the entire urban area was alive and bright, but Mo Tong felt particularly desolate walking on the street mixed with the sound of firecrackers and frolicking.

It was so early in the morning, but there were almost no pedestrians on the road.Those who have TVs go home to watch TV for reunion. Those who don’t have TVs also watch TVs when they take their families to the factory or neighbors’ houses.Today's bus also stopped early, and I must have gone home for a reunion.

Mo Tong walked along the empty streets for a long time, looking at the streets that became more and more unfamiliar after leaving the community, he didn't know where to go.Mo Tong stood there and looked around. There was still snow wrapped in mud at the base of the wall, which had been re-frozen long ago because of the cold weather.He stood there and turned around to look back, the street stretched into the distance like an endless black hole amidst the lights of the houses on both sides.Turning around again, I saw a figure walking this way.I don't know whose family it is. They must have been working late and have to hurry home.

Mo Tong stood there in a daze, like a lost child.It wasn't until the black figure walked in and held his hand, followed by a few steps in a daze, that he slowly woke up, sniffed and asked, "Shao Gan?"

"Why didn't you come back by bus? I've been waiting for you at the stop sign for a long time."

"There is no car."

"How many classes were cut, I figured it out, there should be more."

"Well, I didn't wait."

Shao Gan didn't say anything else, he tried his best to draw one shoulder inward, his sleeves hung down, he dragged Mo Tong's cold hands in for warmth, and led him forward step by step.

Not far from the neighborhood where Shao An lived, Shao Gan finally said, "Take your time, don't be sad, they will know one day that we are all right."

Mo Tong nodded, and Shao Gan heard him whisper, "I know, I only have you."

Shao Gan's heart tightened, and the pain was severe.He really wanted to hold this person in his arms, hug him tightly and say, it's okay, it's okay if it's just me.But all he could do was to hold that hand tighter, tighter.

The New Year's Eve dinner at Shao'an's family had already been prepared, and some meat and vegetables that were cold and easy to agglomerate were kept in bowls.Sun Min stood at the window and looked down. When he saw them coming back, he hurried to the living room to remove the bowl, and called Shao An to order dumplings.

Shao Gan put his arms around Mo Tong's waist in the quiet corridor where only the sound of two people's footsteps could be heard.Pushing the door open, Shao An happened to be carrying two steaming plates of dumplings from the balcony to the living room (the balcony is used as the kitchen), turned his head and said, "Close the door quickly, it's still so cold outside."

Shao Gan smiled, pushed Mo Tong in, closed the door, and said loudly, "Happy New Year!"