the moon in the attic

Yan Yang never thought that he would know Lin Yang in this way.

Chen Jingru said that the flamboyant and wanton person in Yan Wei's photo album also left three months after Yan Wei's death, and he didn't see anyone before he left.

Yan Haichuan was smoking in the yard, and Yan Yang was taken to Yan Wei's room by Chen Jingru.

When Yan Weigang passed away, Yan Yang often came to this room, but as he got older, he gradually stopped coming.

Chen Jingru took out an inconspicuous box from the cabinet and handed it to Yan Yang. Yan Yang opened it, and it contained some of Lin Yang's personal belongings.

"Lin Yang has no family," Chen Jingru said, "I store all his things for him."

Yan Yang heard from his grandma that the person who adopted Lin Yang passed away very early, and Lin Yang has always lived alone.

Inside the box were some of Lin Yang's documents and many unopened letters.

Chen Jingru noticed his gaze, "It was written by Lin Yang after Yan Wei left. I read a few of them, and later felt that the letters between them should be kept for themselves, so I put them away."

"What was written in the letter?" Yan Yang asked.

"It's nothing special," Chen Jingru said softly, "It's raining today, I met someone from Pengci at the gate of the park, someone had a car accident on the road, some trivial things."

Yan Yang looked down at the half-box of letters, and his eyes were attracted by a note.

Chen Jingru also looked at the note, and said softly, "It's Lin Yang's suicide note."

Yan Yang's fingers trembled uncontrollably, and his fingertips trembled a few times before he picked up the note. After unfolding it, Lin Yang's sharp and arrogant handwriting came into view.

It's not as long as expected, except for the beginning "Dear Yan Wei" and the signature "Lin Yang who loves you", there are only four words.

"A lifetime is too long."

Yan Yang suddenly felt a little empty in his heart, he didn't know what kind of feelings could be used to say "life is too long", and he had no chance to get to know Lin Yang again.

He only saw him in that thin photo album. Although Lin Yang's life was short, Yan Yang only got a peek at an insignificant corner.

Lin Yang has an unforgettable face, flamboyant and handsome, and when he smiles, he has an inconspicuous vibe, which is the complete opposite of Yan Wei, who is gentle and polite.

"The first time I met Lin Yang, he was only 16 years old." Chen Jingru walked to the desk in Yan Wei's room and sat down, her eyes were a little empty, "The same age as Yan Wei."

She paused when she said this, turned to look at Yan Yang, and asked suddenly, "When did you and Han Yu get together?"

Yan Yang said, "Last year, in November."

"Oh," Chen Jingru replied softly, "That's it."

Chen Jingru didn't seem to have any plans to talk to Yan Yang, and after asking Yan Yang this question, she didn't speak again.

They brought silence from the study to Yan Wei's room, consuming each other silently.

Yan Yang also remained silent. From the initial shock, panic, and anger, he became calm.

He began to understand the attitudes of Chen Jingru and Yan Haichuan, after all, as long as life and death were involved in anything, it would become heavy.

But Yan Yang still thought selfishly, he didn't want to let go of Han Yu's hand.

He wanted to plead with Chen Jingru, wanted to reason, and wanted to lose his temper, but seeing Chen Jingru's appearance, he couldn't say a word.

Chen Jingru sat on the chair in front of the desk with her head down, her shoulders were a little slumped, her fingers unconsciously slid around the corners of the desk, and she was not in a good mood.

If the time spent with their children is used to measure the success of parents, there is no doubt that Chen Jingru and Yan Haichuan can only get a failing grade.

Yan Haichuan doesn't even remember which of the two brothers likes lettuce, they are always on the phone when eating together, and it is rare for the family to sit together.

But companionship is not the only criterion for measuring love. Yan Yang did not get a lot of companionship, but he got a lot of love, which made him reluctant to resist.

Sitting in Yan Wei's room, Chen Jingru misses her son while enduring the suffering and guilt caused by Lin Yang's suicide due to his son's death.

"On the day Yan Wei passed away, Lin Yang said something to me." Chen Jingru said slowly.

Yan Yang asked, "What are you talking about?"

Chen Jingru looked into the distance, her eyes were dim, her eye circles started to turn red again, Lin Yang's words rang in her ears again.

The eyes of that flamboyant young man lost their light. Standing in front of Yan Wei's hospital bed, he complained in an uncontrollable tone. He said, "I don't want to be your inheritance."

Chen Jingru has met many people at that age, but Lin Yang is the most presumptuous, daring, and unrestrained person.

He is an adopted orphan, he has no ties, his life is in his own hands, he can go with whoever he wants, and he doesn't need to tell anyone.

He loved Yan Wei, from life to death, when Yan Wei was alive, he was Yan Wei's heart, Yan Wei's rib, and when Yan Wei died, he became the inheritance.

He didn't want to be an inheritance, he only wanted Yan Wei.

Chen Jingru burst into tears again, as if she was asking Yan Yang and herself, "Do you have to go to this point?"

Yan Yang doesn't know how much he loves Han Yu, but he only knows that he wants to be with Han Yu, every day, every hour, every minute, he wants to be together.

He sat in front of Chen Jingru, blaming himself for making his parents so sad, and also worried about Han Yu who was dismissed by him with a few words.

Is Han Yu home yet?

Are you scared tonight?

Will you be anxious if you can't wait for the phone call for so long?

He tried to argue, "My brother and I, Han Yu and Lin Yang, we are different."

"Yes," Chen Jingru said, "you are different, you are healthy, Han Yu is not an orphan, you are not afraid of anything, but your father and I are afraid, we just hope you are on the right track, a bit ordinary, it doesn't matter if you are unpromising. "

"What is the right track?" Yan Yang asked, "I like someone and want to be with him, isn't that considered the right track?"

"When nothing happened, of course you were not wrong." Chen Jingru's tone became unsteady, "When your brother was with Lin Yang, you never thought that Lin Yang would follow him."

The more she spoke, the more excited she became, and her voice became sharper at the end, "What about Lin Yang's life! Who will be responsible! Whose fault is this! You all only care about love and love, that is a human life!"

"No one wants you to be responsible!" Yan Yang also started talking nonsense, "Why use my brother's life to restrain me! Why!"

"Then tell me," Chen Jingru said in a desperate voice, "We are not responsible, who will be responsible?"

"Yan Wei is my son, someone died because of him, I am not responsible, who is responsible?" She curled her finger and pointed out the window, "Lin Yang's ashes are still in the funeral home, where should I put him? You say! I am not responsible and who is responsible!"

Yan Yang was left speechless by the question, he was wronged and painful, and lost his voice, "What about me?"

Chen Jingru let out a long sigh, and said with red eyes, "Yan Yang, Mom please, break up with him."

Han Yu received a call from Yan Yang at four o'clock in the morning.

The sun rises too early in summer, and the sky outside is already bright. Although the attic is not high, it has a wide view. Looking out from the window, you can see the boundless morning glow.

"Did you sleep?" Yan Yang asked.

His voice sounded hoarse.

"Didn't sleep." Han Yu said.

We couldn't see each other through the phone, but both of them knew what the other was suffering last night, and neither of them spoke first.

After a while, Han Yu asked, "Did I hit you again when I went back?"

"No." Yan Yang said quickly.

Han Yu was quiet for a while, "Cheat me."

"I didn't lie to you," Yan Yang's tone became light again, "I really didn't hit me."

Afraid that Han Yu would not believe it, he continued, "My dad has a good temper, but he was too shocked yesterday. The situation is not as bad as you think."

Han Yu went to the window and opened it. He was still asleep in Fenghua, the sound of birds chirping, and the sound of construction in the distance poured in, but it made people's mind more empty for no reason.

Han Yu didn't know what happened to Yan Yang last night, but he could guess that it wouldn't be too good. Hearing Yan Yang's pretended relaxed tone, he felt a pain like a needle in his heart.

"If they are particularly opposed, it's impossible for me to call you." Yan Yang even smiled after talking.

"Baa baa," Han Yu said in a serious tone, "Stop talking."

Yan Yang froze for a moment, "What's wrong?"

Han Yu asked softly, "Are you sad?"

Yan Yang didn't speak any more, and there was only the shallow breathing of the two on the phone.

Any emotion can be calmed down after time. Han Yu waited for a phone call all night, and now sitting on the floor, he felt much calmer.

He began to replay the plan that was disrupted yesterday.

He got on the bus at 02 o'clock in the morning, arrived at the station at 30 o'clock in the afternoon, took his grandma home at 15:[-], left at [-] o'clock, and took the bus directly to the coffee shop where Yan Yang worked at [-]:[-].

He met Yan Yang at exactly four o'clock in the afternoon.

The glass of the cafe was wiped clean, and the log-colored square table could be seen from the outside. Yan Yang put the coffee on the table with a wooden tray, and politely said something to the customer.

Through the glass, Han Yu couldn't hear his voice, but he could probably guess that it should be "please take your time" or "your coffee".

No matter where Yan Yang is, he can always attract people's attention. After he turned and left, the guests at the table were still peeking at him.

It's not that Han Yu has never seen Yan Yang at work, but during the summer vacation, Yan Yang worked as a part-time translator, and he looked like he was reading English.

When he saw Yan Yang walking through the hall wearing an apron, he realized that there were actually many faces of Yan Yang that he had never seen before.

He is like a blind box that opens and renews from time to time, always bringing Han Yu satisfaction beyond expectations.

He watched Yan Yang work outside the house for several hours. Once Yan Yang came out to throw out garbage, and almost found Han Yu hiding behind the billboard.

Han Yu also couldn't explain why he went to look at Yan Yang quietly, but he had to admit that as long as Yan Yang appeared in his field of vision, he couldn't look away.

In the end, he went home and took a shower and changed into clean clothes. As the beginning of the date, Yan Yang said that he liked the smell of washing powder on him.

At 57:[-], Han Yu told Yan Yang, "I'm here."

Yan Yang bumped into his arms, shattering the miss of a summer vacation, they hugged and kissed, and then the luck came to an abrupt end.

"Brother Han Han," Yan Yang sighed, and said softly, "The situation is a bit complicated."

Han Yu didn't ask how complicated the situation was, because there were only two options for this kind of thing, agree or disagree, and Yan Yang's parents obviously voted against it.

"You are obedient at home," Han Yu said, "take your time."

Yan Yang responded, and tried to liven up the atmosphere, "How did you plan to celebrate my birthday?"

Han Yu said honestly, "Take you home first, say happy birthday after midnight, eat longevity noodles, go boating in the park, feed the pigeons, and take a walk by the lake at night."

Nothing new but a very Han Yu-style birthday celebration.

Yan Yang regretted, "Maybe it won't work, I probably won't be able to go out today."

"Well," Han Yu said, "I know."

Yan Yang said with joy, "However, there are things that can be done. 'Say happy birthday after midnight', you can say it now."

Han Yu's emotions that had been accumulated all night had a faint tendency to emerge. He didn't want Yan Yang to pretend to be happy because of himself, and he hated himself so much at the moment.

If Yan Yang wasn't for him, he wouldn't be working part-time. If he didn't work part-time, he wouldn't be bumped into by his parents who came back specially.

He said to Yan Yang, "I think you are unhappy, so I can't say it."

"It's too serious," Yan Yang said, "I'm not happy now, but when you wish me happy, you can still be happy."

Han Yu felt sore, and just wanted to see Yan Yang right away, to see if he really didn't care, and told him that he didn't have to, everything was up to Brother Han.

But he didn't have the confidence to say that.

He can't give Yan Yang anything, even when Yan Yang's parents take him away, he has no right to intervene.

When he stole the treasure, he forgot that it was also someone else's treasure, as long as others didn't want to give it to him, he couldn't justifiably own it.

So he said, "Meaaah, what can I do to make you really happy?""

Yan Yang heard that he was in a bad mood, and tried every means to comfort him, "It's really not as difficult as you think, and it's not in hell mode."

Han Yu didn't speak, so Yan Yang could only say, "Then give me another birthday present."

Han Yu asked, "What do you want?"

Yan Yang said, "I want you to promise me one thing."

Han Yu: "Tell me."

Yan Yang's tone sank, "I want you to promise that you will never separate from me."

Han Yu seemed to be thinking, but did not agree immediately, Yan Yang immediately asked, "Han Yu, what are you hesitating about?"

"I didn't..." Han Yu was interrupted by Yan Yang before he could finish speaking.

Yan Yang was almost stubborn, he repeated, "Then you promise me."

Han Yu could hear Yan Yang's panic and fear, as if a knife was being cut in his heart, he blinked his eyes and hid the scorching heat, "I will never separate from you."

Only then was Yan Yang satisfied, and he continued to casually talk to Han Yu about trivial matters, trying to pretend that nothing happened. Han Yu cooperated with him and responded with a few words from time to time.

They are like terminally ill patients who know that their time is running out, and they seize all the time to love each other.

The morning light in Fenghua shines into the attic, the night fades away, and the daytime is noisy on its own.

Han Yu said softly, "Baabaa, I wish you happy birthdays in the future."