until the last minute

Li Qing found a dustpan to clean away the broken glass, he washed his hands under the faucet, Zhou Yin grabbed his hand and looked carefully, he coaxed in a low voice: "It's not hurt, don't worry."

Zhou Yin's eyes were red, and he was pulling Li Qing out of the dining room when his mother opened the refrigerator, took out the noodles and eggs, and asked in a neutral tone, "How about eating noodles for breakfast? Xiaoyin, hurry up and change your clothes, it's ready." Tell you to come down and eat."

Li Qing replied: "No need, Auntie, I'm going to be late soon, so I'll leave right away."

He went upstairs with Zhou Yin, hugged Zhou Yin tightly in his arms as soon as the door closed, Zhou Yin let out a sob similar to a young animal from his throat, broken, sad, and unable to form a word.He knew what Zhou Yin was trying to express, so he put his hand on Zhou Yin's back and patted it lightly, and said comfortingly: "Don't be afraid, my dear, I'll come to accompany you tonight, I've figured out a way."

Zhou Yin grabbed Li Qing's shoulders, and the unspeakable fear and sorrow turned into a terrifying boulder, smashing his hopes and persistence all the time, his world was crumbling, and only Li Qing was the only support .

He came out of Li Qing's arms, opened his mouth, and wanted to say something to him with his mouth.But there are too many things I want to say, and I can't tell which sentence is suitable to say now, or none of them are suitable.He wanted to say sorry to Li Qing, said he liked it or hated it and said don't leave, but he was ready to expel Li Qing from his heart, he couldn't bear the second parting.

What's more, this is not lost and recovered, but just lingering.

In the end, without saying anything, he straightened Li Qing's school uniform, opened the door and watched him go out.Li Qing was worried about him, turned his head frequently, and he closed the door cruelly.However, within a minute, the phone on the bedside table rang, and the message Li Qing sent was very short, only two words.

Miss you.

Zhou Yin covered his eyes, leaned against the door panel and slid slowly, and the phone fell to the ground.He buried his head in his knees and sat there motionless. It took a long time before he heard a faint sobbing sound.He actually didn't want to cry, the crying was paused, but the tears were still raging, he knew how ugly and funny it would be.

But he only realized one thing belatedly, he can no longer use Li Qing as a support, and he can't think that he has support just because Li Qing came to him again.Li Qing won't be around in the future.

It is not too difficult to force himself to make up his mind again, Zhou Yin picked up the mobile phone on the ground, intending to completely delete all contact information of Li Qing.At this moment, WeChat received a very long message, which was sent by Li Qing. He specially explained the two words that didn't make sense just now.

"Maybe you will feel very abrupt and hypocritical, but that is my truest feeling, at that moment. The second I leave you, I start to miss you crazily, and you feel far away from you in front of me. I know you If you want to leave, just think of me as a preview of how you will feel when you are not around. I miss you, and I miss you very much this minute.

No matter where you are in the future, I will find you. "

In my impression, this is the longest speech Li Qing has ever said to analyze his state of mind since we met, and it is also his greatest show of weakness.Zhou Yin took a deep breath and clenched his phone tightly. He had the illusion of being saved for a moment, maybe it wasn't an illusion.

He supported the ground and stood up, constantly asking himself in his heart, why couldn't he continue this illusion until the last moment?The love and pampering he has are getting less and less, the last bit, why can't he wantonly possess and squander it?

Zhou Yin supported the door panel with one hand to relieve the dizziness from standing up abruptly.He let out a breath slowly, and even though there were tears in his eyes, he still tried to hook the corners of his mouth, showing a cold and distant smile as usual.He once again put on a layer of camouflage, this time to deceive himself.

Li Qing returned to school, used the break to walk around the senior three teaching building twice, asked around, and finally asked about Chen Ke's class.He blocked people at the door of the classroom. Chen Ke saw him, threw away the cigarette in his mouth and walked towards him.

"I want to ask you for help with something," Li Qing cut to the chase, "Is it convenient to talk here?"

"Come with me." Chen Ke pouted, and the two walked to the stairs. Chen Ke took out the lighter in his pocket to play with, "I'm looking for Zhou Yin."

"Yes, I want to help him."

"How else can you help him?" Chen Ke asked suspiciously.

Li Qing put his hands in his trouser pockets, glanced at the floor, "Do you have a way to get one or two tanks of gasoline?"

Chen Ke looked Li Qing up and down, narrowed his eyes and said, "Why, do you want to burn their house down?"

Li Qing was noncommittal.

"Time is too tight, it's hard to do, you don't have to use gasoline, you know what I mean?"

Li Qing was stunned for a few seconds, Chen Ke smiled and said, "I wish you good luck, let Zhou Yin tell me when it's done."

That evening, Li Qing went to the grove behind the playground. It hadn't been cleaned up for a while, and the ground was covered with fallen leaves.Li Qing swept the fallen leaves into piles with a broom, and then stuffed them into the snakeskin bag with bare hands.He knows exactly what he is doing, the person he loves is in pain, and he should protect him no matter what.

As long as the end result is what he wants to see.

After the evening self-study, Li Qing received a message from Zhou Yin, telling him to go home directly.Li Qing returned to his rented house, the lights were on, and the bedroom door was ajar.He heard the beating heartbeat, which became louder with every step he took. He walked to the door, thought for a while, and then turned to the bathroom.

After washing his hands and face, he looked at it in the mirror for a moment, and gave a rare smile, inexplicably giving off a sense of victory.

He entered the bedroom, Zhou Yin invited him to the bedside, his white arms stretched out from under the quilt, tugging at a corner of his clothes.Zhou Yin's eyes were moist, like water in his mouth, and his face was also flushed.He felt that tonight's Zhou Yin was a bit different, as if he had returned to the unpredictable Zhou Yin that he was familiar with, always in control of the initiative.

During the time he was dazed for a while, Zhou Yin kicked most of the quilt off unexpectedly, grabbed his collar and dragged him onto the bed.

Li Qing pressed against a body that was naked, soft, and warm as if it could hold the next spring. This body could hold more hard, hot objects that were incompatible with this winter.For example, he is stubborn, numb, and has never tried to be accepted by others without reservation.

Li Qing put his hands on Zhou Yin's eyelids, they were as close as one person, he could feel his uneasiness and pain.He kissed Zhou Yin's lips, wanting to share his pain for him, and also wanted to show him the warm spring in the near future.

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The next chapter strives to end the past part.This chapter was originally not intended to be written in this way. It seems that after a certain age, I am not used to expressing emotions and worry about hypocrisy.But I thought about it, my protagonists are still young, they have warm and sincere feelings, they will have such moments, even if they are together one second, they will say they miss the moment the next second.

Then there are a lot of bad things recently, maybe I or we all need an emotional outlet.