25 hour

When Shen Teng woke up, the sky still showed the same gray and dark tone that he saw before going to sleep.

This kind of gloom is far from the "darkness" that people usually understand. After all, even if the sun is always hidden behind the clouds, the "weak" light that falls on people's eyelids actually has the power to overwhelm the entire land. Reflecting the magnificent energy that has never really fallen into the dark night.

The extreme day makes everyone lose their sense of jet lag. No matter what time of day, the sky here is always bright, and no matter what time, there are always people wandering in the wasteland.

The time on the mobile phone shows that it is past eleven o'clock at night, and it has only been more than three hours since he returned from hiking before exhaustion, and Shen Teng didn't sleep for too long.

After putting down the rear seats, there is a lot of space in the off-road vehicle, which is enough for two medium-sized adult men to lie side by side. Shen Ma is tall, but fortunately, there is not much luggage and no companions. After waking up in the sleeping bag, apart from a little soreness in the limbs because it is not as comfortable as the bed, there is no more discomfort.

It took another three to five minutes to wait for the consciousness to come back and realize where he was alone at the moment. During this time, Shen Teng lazily surrounded himself in the carriage.

He has never said that he actually has an ability that is not known as an ability—whenever he does not really wake up, Shen Teng can always enter a state similar to "spirit out of his body".In this state, Shen Teng can act normally and talk to others, but on another level of spirit, he is like an indifferent spectator observing the autonomous operation of this body that looks like him.

Of course, this kind of state has only appeared in recent years. Specifically, it probably started to appear when Shen Teng gradually felt that "everything is so boring".After arriving in Iceland, his mentality began to gradually undergo subtle changes, but the progress was too slow, and it has not slowed down too much. Especially recently, perhaps because some thoughts are too complicated, this state has been intensified. situation.

Fortunately, it is much more normal now.

After opening his eyes several times in confusion, Shen Teng finally made up his mind to sit up at a certain moment, took a deep breath, wrapped himself in a blanket and leaned over to lift the back cover of the off-road vehicle, the toes of his boots fell to the ground—continuing to lean on the body boneless and look into the distance The scenery of no man's land.

If the weather were better, there would be a lot of people in this open space who would choose to pitch tents besides his self-driving car. Usually it is orange, red, yellow and blue. It may not be accurate to say, after all, this place is not like those famous scenic spots that have been developed to be overcrowded. Even when there are many tourists, several tents crowded together in the space between the sky and the earth are small and thin.

Qin Zheng mentioned to Shen Tom before that he actually prefers this kind of scenery with a larger proportion of nature than waterfalls and churches. If there is a chance in the future, he would also like to participate in the new cross-country route planned by the travel agency. Shen Tom This time, it can be regarded as an early trip for him.

Thinking of this, Shen Teng came back to his senses, turned around and took out the camera from his bag.

There are natural hot springs near the campsite. Because of the geothermal heat, the surrounding land is full of moss and full of vitality. It is completely different from the wilderness and snowy land he saw on the road.

Iceland's open-air hot springs are a popular selling point among tourism products. Qin Zheng, the most famous Blue Lagoon hot spring, had been on a business trip as a team leader some time ago, but Shen Teng didn't go with him because he was too lazy to go out.The hot spring encountered this time is less crowded than the Blue Lake, and the environment is more natural, but Shen Teng was not ready to soak in the hot spring before coming, so when he returned from hiking, he could only drag his tired body to the water enviously. The white bodies in Li took a few glances and then turned back the same way - there are more sporadic people here than the way he came from, but not too many.

Shen Teng pointed the camera frame at the front, except for active volcanoes, tundra and flowing clouds, he could not see any noise and life.

So barren.

But in fact, the desolation in reality is not so unreachable and rare to Shen Teng.

With the sound of the wind in his ears, Shen Teng poked the sound-proof earphones streaming indie music into his ears, and pressed his forehead against the cold glass. A sense of emptiness that transcends the limits of time.

Of course, this feeling is not limited to the sea.

After leaving Northern Europe, whenever Shen Teng looked back at the time when he was studying in Norway, he always felt as if he was thrown into a black area with a low speed of light. He was always in the orbit of his own small world while the world outside was changing. In the "silent" state seen by outsiders, he hibernates and falls alone.

Oslo is so quiet, he seems to be able to grow old there overnight by the fireplace, and he seems to be able to lie in the snow and live forever.In northern Europe, "eternity" does not seem to be an abstract concept.

Later, Shen Teng left that icy continent and fell into the capital of the French Republic. Compared with the place where he lived before, everything in Paris seemed so lively, crowds, flowers, the Eiffel Tower, and various advertising posters on the street... …He felt as if he had been activated from a cold standby, but honestly, the novelty only lasted 15 minutes before wearing off.

Of course the environment can create people, but even after going to the savannah and counting down the New Year with thousands of people in Times Square, Shen Teng never really left that remote ice and snow.

Is Budapest his home?

In a secular sense, of course.Shen Teng was born and raised there. As Shen Jiaying, he received all the education he should have received before he became an adult in Budapest, and even though his family was almost only Shen Yuru in the long years, what his grandmother taught him was far better than that. It is all that most ordinary families can give their children.

Of course, if you still start from the secular point of view, Shen Yuru will definitely not be the kind of good mother and grandmother that everyone praises—you can even say that she has failed a bit.

Compared with a competent adult and guardian, for a long time, she was more like a neighbor sister who lived under the same roof as Shen Jiaying.

Because of her previous experience in raising a daughter, Shen Yuru was not as busy as before when taking care of her little grandson. She even had to learn from scratch when changing diapers and mixing milk powder.But being proficient and doing well are not the same thing. Perhaps it was the parting from her daughter that made Shen Yuru finally realize the difference between the two. Even at the age of being a grandmother, Shen Yuru still cannot be confident that she can raise her children to be "successful" "'s life—this responsibility is too heavy, she did not do well last time, so this time she can only draw a frame with a boundary within her ability, and then let the child in This box grows freely.

Of course, most of the time the frame is too big and too rambling.

When Shen Jiaying was rolling in the fallen leaves when she was a child, Shen Yuru stood beside her with her hands behind her back to study the veins of the leaves.Shen Jiaying didn't do her homework and couldn't complete the piano practice, and was called by the teacher to sue. Shen Yuru waited for her grandson at home. After the two looked at each other, her first sentence was: Do you want to go to the mountains to play?

Shen Jiaying said yes, and they really left their schoolbags and went immediately.

To a large extent, Shen Teng's relaxed character of saying that the wind is the rain may come from the influence he got from Shen Yuru.

An enviable education style, but the disadvantages are also obvious - like Shen Ning, Shen Jiaying is very precocious, and also realized very early that everyone is a lonely individual in this world, the kind of "people come from the family and end up in the end". The traditional concept of "belonging to the family" has hardly existed in their family.From a very young age, Shen Jiaying, who was sitting alone by the Danube in a daze, would think about ideas far beyond his age, and even though he was so close to Shen Yuru, he seldom thought of sharing these thoughts with his grandmother .

This feeling is hard to describe.

Undoubtedly, Shen Jiaying loves her grandmother the most in this world, and Shen Yuru's love for him is also undiminished, but at the same time, every look they have looked at each other over the years seems to have seen through the same cognition in the other's heart as her own , that is, one day they will be completely separated.

This feeling may even have appeared earlier - when the young Shen Yuru took over her newborn thin daughter from the nurse's arms at dawn, and the new mother Shen Ning took over her youngest son in the same posture at sunset and dusk. When he was sent to his mother's arms before midnight... In the first glances of the three generations, in addition to the love accompanied by blood, they all tacitly saw the irresistible accompanying it. parting fate.

But this can't be blamed on Shen Yuru, after all, the young lady of the Shen family grew up in this way. In her long life, she didn't know that there are other adult paths in this world and what the family relationship should look like.

Before she was Shen Ning's mother and Shen Jiaying's grandmother, she was Shen Yuru first.It's hard to have both, since she has done Shen Yuru herself well, when she was a mother and grandmother, she often felt a little "powerless" in the eyes of outsiders.

It wasn't until Edwin appeared that the man from Italy suddenly filled the vacancy in the image of Shen Jiaying's male elders that had been lost in the process of growing up.He is kind, wise, and humorous, completely in line with the image of a perfect adult in Shen Jiaying's imagination. At that time, Shen Jiaying seemed to be closer to Edwin, but Shen Yuru never expressed any dissatisfaction with this, just smiled and retreated to the room In the corner, I tenderly watched my grandson and fiance, one young and one big, standing side by side in the sunshine by the window sill, arguing about which bird the feathers of the badminton came from.

During that time, she seemed to have gradually disappeared from the stage of Shen Jiaying's growth, or she had never taken the position of "guardian" competently. After Edwin left, Shen Jiaying even clumsily thought that the next step of the family It was up to him to carry it, but it wasn't until Shen Yuru stood firmly in front of him in the principal's office that he realized in a daze that at some point, Shen Yuru had quietly learned how to be an "adult".

Raise him, discipline him, guide him countless times, and still respect him at the end as he did at the beginning.

It is said that before leaving home, Shen Ning once peacefully asked her mother why she gave birth to herself, and whether she had thought about what it meant.Shen Yuru's specific answer at the time was not known to Shen Ting, but he knew that grandma apologized to her daughter seriously for the first time that day-if parents can't prove that life is meaningful, maybe they shouldn't be innocent. To bring a child, a life, into the world of one's own will.

Shen Teng thought, grandma should have proved herself now, and she will not be sorry for Shen Ning anymore.What about Shen Ning?Has his mother proved that it is meaningful for people to come into this world?

And to be honest, how to prove this thing?

The life of the Shen family is really screwy.

Shen Jiaying, who possessed the twisted gene, later turned into Shen Teng, earnestly believed in and implemented their Shen family's "exquisite self-interest" survival rule, wandered in the world of thousands of flowers, and finally turned her heart into a wilderness visited only by wind and snow. .

Seeing the aurora may just be an excuse.

Shen Teng closed his eyes, thinking that he still couldn't get rid of the vulgarity in the end, but just wanted to bury himself in a place close to his inner hometown.

But now, but now...

But suddenly, suddenly, at the moment closest to the end he set for himself, he suddenly missed Reykjavik very much.

The last time I felt this kind of nostalgia seemed to be on the plane to Copenhagen, because the second young master, Shen Teng, who came along somehow made a big turn on the way to Iceland.At that time, he didn't know that he would return to Budapest again, but he suddenly began to miss their attic at an altitude of [-] meters.

Of course he missed it before, but the feeling of missing was very light, unlike that moment when he was so turbulent that he almost fell to the ground and wanted to talk to his grandma.

Thinking about it now, maybe what was rushing in Shen Teng's heart at that time was not only his longing for his grandma, but also some... the will to survive that he didn't even realize.

Unknown to Granny, she and Budapest had saved him once, and now it was Reykjavik's turn.

Specifically, it was Shen Toma's crowded workshop of more than ten square meters, the high windows in the semi-basement where he could only see the footsteps of passers-by, Qin Zheng's recliner, Qin Zheng's pillows, and even Qin Zheng's old cabinets.

Because of the memories of living together with one person, Shen Teng has pursued the vaguely defined place of "destination" for more than [-] years, and suddenly has countless specific and vivid names.

So, grandma, is that how you search for the meaning of Budapest?

but i...

Shen Teng sighed softly in his heart.

but i...

"Shen Jiaying!"

At the end of the song, during the silence of the music pause, a call from afar suddenly broke his meditation.

The effect of the sound-proof earphones is so good that Shen Teng didn't even immediately distinguish whether the call that sounded so far away was an illusion or not. He just took off the earphones driven by his sensitivity to the tone of his name, and immediately captured it clearly in the sound of the wind. The second sound is "Shen Jiaying".

Who is calling him.

Who is coming for him.

Where did it come from, 18 years ago?

Two beeps were not enough to bring back the soul, Shen Teng opened his eyes in astonishment and raised his head, and heard the third beep, and the fourth and fifth beeps from strangers shouting with a smile on their faces.

Then he saw Qin Zheng.

The sound of the wind in his ears continued, and the tundra in front of him was vast. Under the background of the boundless heaven and earth, a familiar figure that suddenly seemed a little strange to him was walking steadily towards him from a distance with something unknown.

Is he still sleepwalking.

Shen Teng involuntarily stood up from the side of the car where he was leaning, and because he was in a trance, he even hit his head on the car cover...Damn it.

Shen Teng covered his head, and the blanket covering his body fell to the ground again.

Which is more important, the head or the blanket?

Can you pick it up after dropping it on the ground for more than three seconds?

He froze at the same spot at a loss, for a moment he looked like a child who was caught on the spot for doing something wrong without making up a reason, so stupid that he didn't even know where to put his hands and feet.

The other half of the earphones that I haven’t had time to take off is the retro electronic sound of "He is colorful" with a female voice, and the other half is the strong wind in Iceland that has lasted for more than 10 years. , He squinted his eyes and tried to clear away the mist of thorns in front of him, to see clearly whether that thin and tall figure was a product of a dream, and the hallucination had already come to him.

The hallucination was still the familiar scent of refreshing lemon shower gel.

How the hell can you smell lemons in this blustery world?

"Shen Jiaying." Lemon called him again.

The earphones fell to the ground, and the sky and the earth spun, and everything appeared to be real.

But after not seeing each other for a long time, Qin Zheng's favorite black bomber windbreaker jacket and the same color ripped woolen hat are several times closer than three autumns ago.Shen Teng followed Qin Zheng's movements with straight eyes and saw that he put the big box with a familiar shape in his hand, but he couldn't figure out its purpose, and put it next to his sleeping bag. He looked at the time on the watch, as if confirming that he had caught up with the schedule, he let out a sigh of relief.

Before he could figure out what special day it is, Shen Teng suddenly heard Qin Zheng say, "Happy birthday."

In the last few minutes of Shen Toma's 26-year-old life, Qin Zheng rushed to his lover across the road in no man's land.

Shen Teng opened his eyes wide in a daze, and finally looked up at Qin Zheng's face that he had looked at and kissed thousands of times in dreams and after dreams, but he still couldn't see clearly this time after removing the thorns— ——When a strange and vague obstacle appeared in front of him, it took Shen Teng a while to realize that he was not ill.

He was still in a trance, only feeling an inexplicable soreness in his eyes, and then Shen Teng vaguely saw Qin Zheng leaning down, stretching out his fingertips to gently caress the skin under his eyes.In the wonderful warmth and coolness stirred up by the touch, he heard Qin Zheng ask himself: "Why are you crying?"