silent me, silent us

When he reached high school, Xu Qizhang still maintained his own pace of life.Some of the changes are that I have more contacts with a few classmates in the class. The reason is that he looks so weak, but his grades are so good.In addition, in a certain chat, he inadvertently revealed that although he did not join the hot music club, he played band outside...

Good homework, good at playing music, such an aura will usually give a boy extra points, and his vain outline will also become clearer.Although he still hasn't joined any small groups, he has become pretty good with the people in the class.

He just doesn't take the initiative to cater to, but he doesn't reject dealings with others.

After all, he understands that in this world, loneliness and loneliness will kill people.

He had seen that expression a lot.

That's why Xu Qizhang sometimes wonders why he, who is always surrounded by crowds, occasionally reveals such an expression at the moment when everyone else turns his head... It's like a fish floating out of the water to breathe, but Can't breathe; the corner of the mouth that was still laughing a second ago has a slight shake at this moment, and it is slightly bent a few degrees; the eyes are staring at a certain point through something, and the face seems very tired.

It's hard to capture that kind of expression, but I don't know whether it's the timing or luck, like a shutter, Xu Qizhang often captures Ye Guang's expression like this, behind the crowd.

Very concerned.

Why did that expression appear on Ye Guang's face?

It felt like him, but it wasn't him.

No matter if it is him or not, no matter how depressed Xu Qizhang is, the kind of care that will remind him of that name even when walking, taking a bath, before going to bed, after dinner, and playing the guitar, just like his electric guitar has a new pickup installed, and the strings vibrate when he plays it Non-stop, the sound continues indefinitely.

The sound waves caused by Ye Guang echoed in his body all the time, muffled, but tended to become louder and louder.

Sometimes I care about a person, but I don’t actually take the initiative to approach him, especially for people like Xu Qizhang. First, I feel that the other person may feel awkward, and second, why is there any reason to approach him?Thirdly, he also has a certain degree of scruples, maybe that scruples are because there is something in his heart that is causing trouble...

What about low self-esteem? Although he admits it, it is also very condescending to explain it clearly. He will not talk about it.

Ye Guang is like an idol poster in his room, he can only watch it from a distance, but cannot play with it.

It's not that he hasn't tried to take such emotions lightly as before.Sometimes hypnotizing yourself is really effective, but often some things happen, and it always makes the hypnosis invalid, again and again.

That was the first time he thought "this person is so cute" in his heart, to a boy.

It wasn't that he saw Ye Guang helping the old lady cross the road, or shooting into the hoop from outside the three-point line, etc., which only happened to the elites, but that one time after school, the students were almost gone, and he was worried because he was talking to the instructor. A little later, just as he was walking out of the carport with the crooked faucet, he raised his eyes and saw Ye Guang passing by him.

It was not a very close distance, but his breathing was disordered.

The afterglow of the setting sun reflected on his face, which looked psychedelic and moving. The straight waist, graceful steps, perfect curvature of the lips, and the side parted black hair were slightly blown by the wind. Everything played in front of his eyes like slow motion. , this is the first time Xu Qizhang saw Ye Guang so close...

It was also the first time I saw Ye Guang stagger forward embarrassingly because he kicked the iron bar of the electric school gate on the ground.

The degree of embarrassment is comparable to that of a high school girl whose skirt got stuck in her panties after going to the bathroom.

He tried not to laugh out loud, but it was difficult, so he had no choice but to hold his breath and before Ye Guang turned around, he grabbed the long legs of the bicycle and stepped on it vigorously, and quickly rushed away.

But he didn't miss Ye Guang's blushing face, looking around, with an expression of fear of being discovered by others.

I don't know what it's like to feel the excitement of someone jumping up and down in my heart. I really want to laugh and shout.

He thought it was not because of making fun of, or the mentality of adding insult to injury, because what he wanted to call out was: "Why are you so cute? Why are you so cute when you are about to fall!"

I am really sick.

After the performance that night, Ah Jian said that he had never seen him so crazy on stage, and he just smiled lightly.

In short, small things like this can break his depression again and again, and then day after day, deepen his concern for Ye Guang.

Because I often look at Ye Guang, I can slowly discover the real him.

It's just that he still didn't do anything. To be serious, sometimes he even felt like a voyeur, with his eyes always sticking to him involuntarily. This feeling was a bit scary, so he kept hypnotizing himself.

Hypnotize yourself to only care about him because he is too outstanding, too good, too different, anyone will care about him, guess his name, look at him inadvertently, or occasionally think of him, these are actually nothing, because he I also often think of Mayday, they are also outstanding and excellent.

It is human nature to pay attention to special people.Even an indifferent person like myself is still human after all.

Xu Qizhang has been very good at a skill called "pretend it doesn't matter" since before. As long as he doesn't admit that he cares to death, he will really become indifferent in the end, and then gradually calm down.

This will be a little better.

The days of the first year of high school quickly came to an end in the tug-of-war between the small but huge, beautiful but sad, and Ye Guang in the heart of this nihilistic young man.