[Magic Moment] Feather of the Night

This is the sentence that completely broke me down.

My consciousness entered a semi-trance state, and I didn't realize that my face collapsed quickly, and I didn't realize that the face of Yehun, who saw something wrong with me, changed a little.I frantically shook off his hand and grabbed the quilt to cover my lower body, but he didn't stop me.

For a long time, I kept looking at the quilt, neither speaking nor moving.

Yehun realized that his teasing words probably went a little too far, and he became more and more uneasy. Seeing that I hadn't responded for a long time, he finally lost his composure and called me tentatively: "Xiaoxuan?"

I looked up and met his panicked eyes.I didn't know that my eyes were already red, and my voice was a little rough because of the stuffy nose: "You're right, I'm deceiving myself. Although I hate this, I think... I like you."

If it weren't for my current situation being very wrong, I believe Night Soul would be dancing with joy.But at this moment, facing me with red eyes, he didn't know what to say for a moment, and he didn't make a sound with his slightly opened mouth.I tried my best to make a smile, knowing that it was too crooked, but I couldn't help it: "Why are you so tangled up in expression? Didn't you always hope that I would fall in love with you, and now you have your wish. Didn't you always want to hear my confession?" Do I like you, I admit it now. I like you, I like you, I like you..." I repeated these four words mechanically until my mouth twitched, my heart ached, my eyes became hot, and two tears Just rolled down.

He suddenly hugged me again, but this time it was purely comforting, without any emotion: "I only know that you are very unhappy now, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to hurt you, if you feel wronged and want to cry, just cry , don't hold it in your heart. I feel very uncomfortable when you look like this. "

"What's wrong with you? You should be very happy." I didn't know why I was so hypocritical, I wanted to stop crying, but the tears just flowed out uncontrollably, and the words on my mouth were getting more and more uncontrollable by my brain. "I... I know I shouldn't be like this, and I don't know why. My heart just hurts. I'm sorry to disturb your good interest..."

"Stop it." He hugged my arm even harder.

I finally cried out in disbelief: "Woo... Yehun, why did you do this... why... I could get married and have children, why did you insist on letting me be your male pet... originally After keeping the three-year agreement, I can leave you and get rid of you, and you tried every means to make me like you and fall in love with you, no matter how much I resisted and struggled, it was useless!!! Now it’s all right, you have fulfilled your wish, I like you I fell in love with you and couldn't do without you, are you happy!!! You forced me to become someone I despise, a man who likes men to be loved and raised by others, you ruined my life..."

"It's not like that." Yehun interrupted my hysteria in a panic, "Stop talking, don't cry—it's not like that, don't think like that."

After venting, I felt a lot more comfortable in my heart, and I calmed down, feeling ashamed of what I just said: "Okay, I just had a convulsion, and I'm fine now. Just let me go."

He didn't move.

I thought he wanted to continue the topic before my collapse, and my face turned red again, and I whispered: "Uh... about that, I'm really not feeling well today, just let me go. Don't worry , now that I admit that I like you, I will definitely not be like before. If you want to, I will not be uncooperative, so you don't need to use the guise of corporal punishment or half-truth to me in the future Get drunk to achieve your goals."

"..."

"Hey, what are you talking about. How long are you going to hug me like this?"

He finally let me go.I breathed a sigh of relief, although my mood has changed a lot compared to before—that is, I am no longer so opposed to physical intimacy with him—but the appearance just now made me feel rather awkward. "What you just said made me very sorry." He said.

"Oh, don't mention it, okay? I said I had a convulsion, but you still clung to it."

"You don't seem to be having a convulsion when you are so sad," he said in a low voice, with an indescribable sadness in his brows, "you have cried twice since I knew you, and the first time was when I revived you a year ago Father, your father asked you what the price was for resurrecting him, just now again. You said that I made you someone you despise, you said that I ruined your life—"

"All right, all right, are you finished?" I interrupted him.

"Do you really think so?"

"Yehun, it's the first time I've stayed by your side for so long and I know that you like to turn over old scores."

"tell me."

To be honest it should be - yes, but I don't want to say that, after all, it's not his fault, it's me who struggles.Now that I have calmed down and re-examined my heart, I realized that what I was really struggling with was not him, but my opinion of me having a relationship with a man.Since I was a child, I have been instilled with the idea that it is natural for men and women to fall in love, and it is abnormal and deformed to have emotions or even relationships between the same sex.It was the very thought that made me so repulsive to him from the start, and made me lose my temper when I realized I couldn't lie to myself that I didn't like him.

I am not such an inflexible person, and now I have formally accepted this fact in my heart.Just like in a song, love is not as simple as coming and going as you want. I have already loved and found myself in love, so there is no other way.Whether deformed or normal, let it be.

I think I have resigned myself to my fate, just like it if I like it, and time will change my view on love.

The author has something to say: meat dishes may be served in the next chapter, please wait and see