my private life

This winter vacation is a veritable "winter vacation".In the past two months, I only met with Xia Jingyi five times, and three times I was graciously stayed overnight by her.The remaining two times were because I didn't greet her in advance and ran over to see her without authorization, but she coldly sent her back.

The night I got home from vacation, I called her and told her I was back.I secretly expected her to summon me, and she didn't mention it at all.

Later, I couldn't help asking her when I could see her, and I brought her a piece of clothing from Beijing Xiushui Market.

She hesitated for a long time before saying that the hospital is busy recently and she will call me naturally when she is free.I originally wanted to tell her that I would help out at the steamed stuffed bun shop I opened at home during the holidays (my father was also laid off, and my mother took their money to buy out the working years and bought a steamed stuffed bun shop at the end of the year), and I didn’t have time during the day, If she calls preferably after 9pm.

As a result, before I spoke, she said she had something to do and hung up the phone.I don't know what will happen when she is alone at home at night and can't chat with me for a while.Putting down the phone, I made an excuse for her, she really didn't have time to write a thesis.

Every day when I was carrying dishes and washing dishes in the store, I was a little absent-minded, always thinking about her.Compared with our frequent meetings during the summer vacation, she is obviously not enthusiastic about me now.I don't know what's wrong, maybe she senses that it's not normal for us two girls to be together?But she was still in love with her ex-girlfriend for four years.If she doesn't like me anymore, it's too fast. She said she liked me back then.Maybe she is really going to get married and alienate me on purpose?Then why don't you just tell me why you still do that kind of thing with me in Beijing?

In fact, at that time, I had already found the answer myself, but I just didn't want to believe and admit such a cruel result.I am more willing to believe everything she said, she is very busy and has no time, so she can't meet with me often in order to avoid her colleagues.

A few days later, when the bun shop was not busy, I ran to the canteen next door to call her.It's been a week since I came back and I haven't seen her. I miss her, but this time she was very happy to let me go.

I also took a coat I bought for her.This dress cost [-] yuan - it was a lot of money for me at the time, and of course I bought it with the money Xia Jingyi left me.

When Fu Yuhong learned that I was going to visit Xiushui Street, she suggested that we go together.I said I wanted to buy a dress for my "cousin" and didn't know what to buy.She proposed to make an appointment with her cousin Liu Qingyan. Her cousin is older than us and naturally has experience in dressing.

While shopping, Liu Qingyan asked about my "cousin" for a long time, age, appearance, height, fatness, and even occupation.I don't know if it's my guilty conscience or what, but I always feel that she will look at me with strange eyes after listening to a paragraph of my description of Xia Jingyi.I was so scared that I didn't dare to speak in detail, for fear of inadvertently revealing my relationship with Xia Jingyi.

Finally, the three of us unanimously took a fancy to a black coat.I took this dress and went to Xia Jingyi's house.As soon as I entered the door, I held the clothes in front of her, "I bought them for you, put them on quickly and see if they look good."

While blaming me for wasting money, she put on the coat, looked around and praised, "Well, it's really good, your eyesight is not bad."

"You have a beautiful body and a good figure, and you look good in anything you wear." I hurriedly said with a flattering smile, and sent my face to her for a kiss.

"Actually, it's not that I have good eyesight, but a sister helped me buy it." I was so excited that I told the truth when I got a sweet kiss.

Unexpectedly, she who was taking off her coat suddenly stopped, raised her eyelids and glanced at me, "Why is there another sister?"

I knew she had misunderstood me, so I hurriedly explained that I was worried that what I bought was not suitable, so my classmate called her cousin who worked in Beijing, "They asked me who I bought it for, and I said to my cousin."

She couldn't deny the corner of her mouth, "What are you explaining, even if you really have a sister who likes you, it has nothing to do with me." She put her coat aside and sat on the sofa.

"How could I do that." I muttered and sat down next to her.Only then did I realize that the room was not as messy as before, the table was neatly arranged, and there was no obvious dust on the table. The large push of shoes at the entrance was gone, only her pair of leather boots and mine. shoe.

"Have you cleaned up the house?" I thought to myself that she was finally willing to do some housework.In fact, tidy up the house and live in a refreshing mood.

She turned her head to look around, said "oh", and stopped bringing up the topic.Because I went there after the steamed stuffed bun shop closed, it was already very late, we just chatted a few words, and she proposed to take a bath.I also followed her into the bathroom, and the two of us washed together.

After washing and washing, we started a game in the bathroom.

After meeting this time, I felt that she liked me, but there were some slight changes in her attitude, speech and behavior, but I couldn't tell what was different.

Valentine's Day that year was the day before New Year's Eve.I have long thought about giving her a gift when the time comes, and I am not willing to spend any of the five hundred yuan she gave me in Beijing.I don't think I have the ability to earn money to buy beautiful clothes for her, so I can only save the money.

A few days before Valentine's Day, we met again, and I went to clean her house for the Spring Festival.

On Valentine's Day, because the Spring Festival is coming soon, the bun shop has closed two days in advance.I happened to be able to go shopping and buy gifts for her.But after shopping for a whole day, I didn't choose a suitable thing.

I wanted to buy a piece of jewelry, but it looked very expensive and I couldn't afford it.There are also cheap gold necklaces, but the chains are as thin as a thread, I am afraid she will dislike them.When buying pearl necklaces or jade pendants, I worry that one of my children will be cheated and buy a fake one.

In the end, I chose a large bouquet of roses.In fact, I wanted to send her flowers from the very beginning, and I knew that Valentine's Day should be flowers or chocolates.I was worried that she would scold and ridicule me when I gave such a meaningful gift, "Who is your lover!"

With a large bouquet of roses in my arms, I waited until dark to go to her house.I didn't make an appointment with her in advance that I would go to her on this day, but I asked her on the phone if we could meet on Valentine's Day.At that time, she was very vague to talk about it.

I thought she had no lover and should be alone at home as usual this day.I wanted to surprise her and didn't call before I went.

I knocked on the door for a long time, and even the people on the opposite side opened the door to observe the situation, but there was no movement in her house.I think she went out to eat.

I couldn't go home with flowers in my arms, so I went downstairs and waited outside.In order not to attract the attention of passers-by, I stood at the gate of the dormitory compound for a while, and then went downstairs to look at her house. The windows of her house were always dark.

When it was almost 9 o'clock, I really lost my patience, so I ran to the public phone booth and dialed her mobile phone. "What do you want from me? I'm eating out." Her tone was indifferent as if she was talking to a stranger.

I vaguely heard soothing music on the other end of the phone.My heart was suddenly very sad. She went out on a date on Valentine's Day, but I was waiting outside for her to come home.I said I was downstairs at her house and bought a bouquet of flowers for her.

"Funny, what kind of flowers do you buy for a child! Go home, I won't go back today." Her tone became more severe.

Then what should I do with the flowers in my hand? It cost dozens of yuan. "I don't know, you have to buy it yourself and handle it yourself." She was very decisive, and then hung up the phone.

I hadn't eaten yet, and I walked home alone, cold, hungry, and sad.When I came across a trash can on the street, I threw the roses I was carrying into it.

I feel that I am like this bouquet of flowers. When I need it, I will be paid to take it back, and when I am useless, I will become a burden with nowhere to hide.I cried just thinking about it.

But the sadness is temporary, and I received a call from her at noon the next day.She didn't mention who she had dinner with last night, she only explained that she was also worried about me at the time, what would happen if a girl was out at night and met bad guys.She also didn't apologize to me for her blunt attitude.

She has to be on duty on New Year's Eve, and she is not at home on the first and second day of junior high school.She asked me to find her in the third grade of junior high school. "There are red envelopes for New Year greetings." Her laughter sounded the same as before, as if we didn't find any unhappiness between us last night.

Although I still have the resentment from last night in my heart, when I think of being able to hug her to sleep, the displeasure in my heart is suppressed.

After the eighth day, I will go back to school.I went to see her again the night before I left.She is alone at home.As soon as I entered the door, she asked me angrily why I came here without saying hello in advance.

I said I was leaving tomorrow and wanted to see her again.She rolled her eyes impatiently and didn't say a few words to me.After more than half an hour, she answered the phone and said she was going out.I thought she told me to wait at home again, but she told me to go home.

"I'm leaving tomorrow." I looked at her helplessly, hoping she could understand my desire to be with her, "I can wait for you to come back."

She was wearing the coat I gave her, carrying a satchel in one hand, and holding my hand in the other, "Go back, I'll be leaving tomorrow, go back and be with your parents." She had no expression on her face when she spoke.

Although I was very unwilling to leave her, but looking at her expression, my self-esteem would not allow me to pester her to let me stay.

We walked all the way to the door of the dormitory compound.She told me to go first, she had to wait for someone.I crossed the road and looked back at her standing on the side of the road.Slim and tall, with long fluttering hair, the black overcoat made her face look fairer.

I never dreamed that this was the last good impression she left on me.

After school started, I called her less and less often.Either she said that she was busy writing a thesis, or that she had surgery the next day and had to rest early.A few times she simply didn't answer the phone.

Once, when I called her home, I heard a man talking beside her.Seemingly asking who was calling, she explained that it was a patient's little sister.

I was also a little flustered at the time, was our relationship discovered by others?He hung up the phone without saying anything.It was only when a person was walking and thinking about things on campus that something was wrong. How could there be a man in her house on Saturday afternoon.Of course, it may be her brother or a relative or friend.

During the three-day holiday on May [-]st, I took the train back home.When I got home that night, I called her and told her that I was back and could I go to see her tomorrow.She didn't say no.

When we met, she said to me, "Fanfan, don't come to me again, I'm getting married."