sunset melting gold

Midsummer, the rainy season is coming as scheduled.

The fine rain curtain is covered in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, like a layer of flowing gray gauze, causing ripples in the wind.

The air in the rainy season is still sultry and humid, and the wind with water vapor and wet breath penetrates into the bedroom through the small gap under the window, and then penetrates into the fragile lungs along the trachea.

Fang Shiqiu curled up on the side of the bed, coughing softly under the cover of the quilt.

The rain outside the window kept falling, and the edge of the terrace was dripping with drops of water. The continuous sound of rain covered the weak moans of pain.

Before the arrival of the rainy season, Fang Shiqiu spent a relatively relaxed time at home.

Without the invasion of the bone-piercing snowstorm and Liang Ming's endless torture, his body no longer showed morbid emaciation, and the newly grown soft fat wrapped the fragile bones and blood vessels, propping up the dry and pale skin.

The once swollen and deformed joints no longer show a hideous face, the sense organs distorted and torn by hallucinogens have been repaired, and wrong messages are no longer sent to the brain.

But Fang Shiqiu's nerves are still dull, and it is difficult to digest too complicated emotions and words.

He did not leave the bedroom, and sat in front of the French windows day after day, leaning on the easel made of white oak and staring blankly at the garden under the window.

The garden has flowers that have never bloomed in the snow-capped pine forest, full of colorful colors, but they are also the same, without any change.

From early morning to sunset, the sky outside the window is always clear, the sunset is never absent, and it seems that it will never be covered by dark clouds.

Fang Shiqiu thought of the winding water marks on the glass windows and the damp smell in the air when the rainstorm came, and suddenly eagerly looked forward to the coming of the rainy season.

Fang Shiqiu likes wet and rainy days.

Every rainy night he spent at home, he would sit in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows and let go of his thoughts against the drizzle outside the window.

He enjoys the feeling of inspiration wandering in his mind. When he is in a good mood, he will pick up a paintbrush and paint this hazy scene on a white canvas with gray and dull paint.

The garden shrouded in the night rain is no longer full of vitality, and the flower clusters have lost their bright colors, like a mottled oil painting, which melts little by little under the washing of the rain.

The dark blocks of color are solidified on the canvas, and the diffused light in the rain reflects the shadowy outline of the house on the glass, and everything in the rain is covered with a layer of yellow and psychedelic light.

Fang Shiqiu used to like rain very much.

There is no rain in the snow-capped mountains all year round. It is difficult for him to see rainy days. When he is trapped in the villa, he always looks forward to seeing rain and smelling the familiar damp smell.

Now it's finally here, but I can only lie on the bed in embarrassment and struggle to die.

The little bear standing on the head of the bed fell from the high pillow and pressed against his cheek tightly, the dry and soft fluff was wet with sweat, sticking together wetly.

The little bear became as embarrassed as its owner, and the white oak easel that had accompanied him through countless rainy nights stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, becoming an unattainable delusion.

The boundary between day and night became blurred under the erosion of the torrential rain, Fang Shiqiu could not recognize the color of the sky, and there was only a flowing gray-white in his vision.

The lack of oxygen caused by asthma makes the body heavy, but the consciousness floats lightly, walking through every rainstorm in the past.

The torrential raindrops hit the eardrums, and the sound of the ticking rain gradually became clear amidst a burst of mechanical broadcasting.

"Drip-"

A truck whistled sharply in the distance, and the accumulated water overflowed the uneven ground and poured into the drain, leaving large and small puddles.

Fang Shiqiu walked through the corridor of the park, and met Liang Ming who was smoking before the entrance to the company.

He was waiting for someone, and there were many extinguished cigarette butts at his feet, and there was a layer of soot floating in the puddles.

Fang Shiqiu hated the smell of burning tobacco, nodded to Liang Min from a distance, walked around a place of soot, and prepared to leave.

"Knowing autumn."

Liang Min raised his hand holding the cigarette to block his way, with a hypocritical smile on his face.

Fang Shiqiu looked at Liang Ming coldly, the umbrella in his hand was dripping water, silently reading his countdown to patience.

Liang Min was not angry because of his cold face, but just threw away the unburned cigarette in his hand and walked slowly towards Fang Shiqiu.

The sparkling cigarette butt fell into the small puddle, the spark collided with the stagnant water, and the faint sizzle sound dissipated in the air, swallowed by Liang Ming's deep voice.

"It's not important to find you, I just want to ask if you want to associate with me."

The sudden confession and the continuous sound of rain are mixed and blended into an uncoordinated ensemble.

Fang Shiqiu's refusal made the occasion even worse.

"I'm not interested in men, sorry."

Warm words spit out from the cold lips, and the low final sound disappeared in the sound of rain.

Fang Shiqiu is not gay, he doesn't like men or women, and he doesn't have anyone he loves deeply.

He only loves himself, and only himself.

Being rejected, Liang Ming remained silent, without bothering to ask why, and lit a cigarette again.

Fang Shiqiu's patience ran out, he took his gaze away from the unimportant people, and walked straight away along the passage. The tip of the umbrella dripped intermittently, leaving a broken track on the ground.

If he had turned his head for a moment, he might have seen Liang Ming's eyes full of gloom.

Later, when he was struggling and begging under Liang Min, Fang Shiqiu couldn't help thinking, if he had promised Liang Min that day, would he not have to endure these pains now.

He doesn't like men, but being in a relationship with a man isn't all that unbearable.

He can bear it, and it will always be easier to act as a loving couple with Liang Ming than to be imprisoned and abused.

Consciousness was dragged and pulled by repeated memories, Fang Shiqiu woke up from the old past.

He opened his mouth wide and wanted to breathe, but the violently heaving chest cavity felt like stabbing pains, tearing the muscles and bones, and destroying the fragile organs.

A large amount of smelly and sticky liquid was blocked in the throat, breathing gradually became difficult, and the ear canal began to echo with buzzing hissing, and the broken picture kept flickering in front of his eyes.

Fang Shiqiu was lying on the pillow and coughing continuously, the hot breath from the sobs and coughs was sweet with blood, and every blow was so heavy that he seemed to cough out his lungs.

At that moment, he seemed to have returned to the villa standing in the snow-capped mountains, like a cicada dying in autumn, falling into the tomb of cotton and satin on a rainy night in midsummer, wailing near death.

Fang Shiqiu's body curled up in the quilt twitched uncontrollably, and his consciousness was lost with the flow of blood and breath.

Before he lost consciousness completely, he saw the faces of the nurse and his father flashing before his eyes, and felt someone lift his chin and pour a large amount of cold liquid down his throat.

Fang Shiqiu swallowed with his head raised, and soon spit out a large mouthful of thick blood with stomach acid.