Every warm feeling may turn black

Gu Long described in the original book that Chu Liuxiang and Miao Seng Wuhua met three times before the occurrence of Fragrance from the Sea of ​​Blood. The first time they drank wine for three days and three nights, the second time they played chess for five days and five nights, and the third time they played chess. From this description, we can see that Gu Long really likes odd numbers...

Well, that's not the point, the point is that the first encounter between Chu Liuxiang and Wuhua was more or less facilitated by me, now with Yuan Suiyun, and me who is absolutely useless.

The reason for emphasizing that I am absolutely useless is that now is the first night, and I already miss the warm bed in the inn, the bath tub exuding the fragrance of flowers, and the exquisitely decorated snacks.

But for the three people who met friends in wine, it was obvious that they had just raised their interest one day. The three of them are dragons and phoenixes among people in this era, and they usually have few friends. Let alone Chu Liuxiang, Wuhua and Yuan Suiyun have always been friends. A designated boss, if you think about it, you will often be surrounded by the loneliness of mediocre people. Once a person is lonely, he will easily become abnormal, so Wuhua destroys flowers and kills his younger brother without blinking his eyes. Yuan Suiyun likes to sew up the eyelids of beautiful women A bat island in the dark, at the moment they are all drinking in the cabin like dogs, Chu Liuxiang is handsome and charming, without flowers like a fairy, Yuan Suiyun is as warm and moist as jade, under the light of the yellow light, it is a beautiful An unreal vision.

Sitting on the bow of the boat, facing the night wind, I spilled the wine in the glass into the lake.

Yuan Suiyun's coachman was standing beside me, with his hands folded in front of him, his neck bowed and his head shrunk, and he looked cautious, but I knew he was watching me all the time and wouldn't allow me to There was a change, because Yuan Suiyun told him to do so.

Whenever this happens, I think, Yuan Suiyun really cares about me.

But why should he care about me?The possessiveness and unique tenderness he shows look very much like love, but what he brings is not romance and warmth, but darkness and fear.

In terms of emotions, he never made it public. I think the ancients were always shy and reserved, especially for a man of a family like him, and I often think that even if he really loves me, it would not make people happy at all.

I'm afraid of him. I don't know when it started. For Yuan Suiyun, fear overwhelmed all other emotions and became the only one. Maybe the dark and weak body is too tormenting, and a single life can't give me anything else. Memory and thinking, so I can only keep thinking about Yuan Suiyun, thinking about the aimless future.

What is the future?In my previous life, there were only two things in front of my eyes—darkness and Yuan Suiyun, and darkness and Yuan Suiyun were one and symbiotic. When I saw Yuan Suiyun, no matter how gentle and tender he was, how Elegant and quiet, all I see is always the darkness that cannot go away.

However, human beings are really amazing species. Even if they are weak like me, when hope appears, they suddenly have a rebellious mind. Those who have been suppressed by fear and shrouded in darkness have gradually separated from other emotions towards Yuan Suiyun. The dark mud showed their appearance.

Fragile, love that can be broken with one blow; thick hate, like the mud at the bottom of a pond.

The water of the lake was dark, and there was a glint of light among the rippling water. The air was full of the fragrance of grass and trees, but it was also mixed with the smell of rotting leaves.

I was sniffing the subtle but distinct smell at the tip of my nose, when suddenly the light scent was mixed with a strong scent of powder, I frowned and turned my head, and saw the girl playing the piano on the boat, sitting gracefully side.

She wears a loose bun, with exquisite facial features, thin willow-leaf eyebrows and misty eyes, no matter what expression she makes, she seems to be enveloped in melancholy.At this moment, she was smiling gently, her pale face contrasted with her ink-like black hair, winding her thin neck and falling on her delicate collarbone.

She was a protective woman, pale, thin, quiet, shy—and melancholy.

She smiled and asked: "It's late at night and the dew is heavy, why do you sit on the bow of the boat alone?"

I supported my head, tilted my head to look at her, then looked at the three people chatting in the cabin, raised an empty glass and said, "Don't you think my painting style is different from those three people?"

"..."

The girl forced a smile and said, "What the young master said is really interesting."

I really want to ask "Do you really understand?", but as a man who received higher education in modern times and was also a gentleman with a good family background in ancient times, I didn't want to embarrass a girl, so I just said perfunctorily: "So-so, not strong enough to drink , I prefer to make jokes."

We blew the cold wind silently for a while, and the girl seemed to finally muster up her courage, and spoke again: "That one, is the rumored Chu Xiangshuai?"

After she finished speaking, she blushed, looking extremely shy.

I couldn't help feeling that Chu Liuxiang's coquettish victory, I nodded in boredom, and said: "Exactly, the bandit handsome Chu Liuxiang."

Hearing this, the girl stared at the center of the lake in a daze. Before the blush on her face faded, the infatuation in her eyes turned to pain.

"Since I'm Xiangshuai, I'm afraid I also..." As he spoke, tears welled up in his eyes.

"..." I suddenly became annoyed, I thought what did this girl think of me?Good girlfriend?Male cannon fodder? ——I just don’t want to do anything, so I looked at the lake again, looking at the layers of lotus leaves swaying in the night wind.

"Although I know it's just an extravagant wish, I also hope that someone will hold my hand and grow old together." The girl didn't seem to feel my boredom—also, the ability to listen to heart sounds has always been in the golden finger range, such as a certain vampire, or a blockbuster movie The protagonist in the movie and the like, this girl obviously didn't expect that I was already annoyed by her and wanted to push her down...

"Like the young master and the original Shaozhuang owner, disregarding the world's vision, it is really respectable...Ah!!!"

Yes, I finally couldn't hold it back, I stretched out my hand suddenly, trying to push her down for a while, but suddenly the driver who was standing next to me and paying attention to me didn't react, until he reacted and pulled the girl up , but I turned over and fell into the water because my sister pulled me around.

The icy lake water just scratched my skin and poured down my throat. I didn't have time to breathe, so I sank straight up on my back. The buoyancy of the water lifted my back. The sound, seeing the mottled lights shaking on the water...

However, after the biting cold, I suddenly felt a boundless relaxation.

Nothing can bind me anymore, not the cold, not the darkness.

Yuan Suiyun couldn't either.

……

I think I'm dreaming again.

I don't know why I can clearly realize this.

But it is also obvious, because in this scene, the vegetation is flourishing, the sun is clear, the passing maids salute respectfully, and there is an innocent smile on the flower-like face-I haven’t seen such a scene for a long time, unless it is in in a dream.

In my dream, I walked along the garden path with flowers and willows. The vegetation and flowers were lush and vigorous, covering my sight layer by layer. I seemed to be playing the game of No. 1 perspective. Turning left and turning, the willows are dark and the flowers are bright Later, by the calm lakeside, I saw the little Yuan Suiyun, and turned around quietly.

He was only 13 or 4 years old, and he looked like he hadn't grown up yet. He was wearing loose exercise clothes. There were thin beads of sweat on his jade-white forehead, his cheeks were flushed with red tide, and his fine black hair stuck to him, like the red spots on ebony. May is stunningly beautiful.However, those unfocused eyes are still empty black wells, empty and lonely, without fireworks.

I walked over slowly, and the new grass rubbed against the upper of the shoe, rustling.

I walked over like this, and at the moment Yuan Suiyun smiled and wanted to speak, I pushed him down the lake.

……

I woke up.

I think I slept for a long time, so that when I opened my eyes, the scene in front of me was blurred, with several layers of double images, and when I could see clearly, I saw familiar and strange scenes, familiar Another stranger.

The yellow wooden bed beams, the smoky green gauze curtain, and the faint scent of medicine lingering around the nose.

A man in his 60s or [-]s was sitting on the head of my bed, and when he saw me wake up, he showed an excited and consoling smile. I also saw such a scene many years ago, and now I suddenly recall it clearly for some reason.

At that time, I came to ancient times without a clue, cautiously daring to speak, looking around in a daze, a man who was no longer young but still handsome, he showed me a gentle smile, with pity and anger in his eyes: "Little brother, You go back to the villa with me, there are famous doctors in the villa, and the environment is better."

Although there is a voice in my heart saying that this kindness is not for myself, I can't help being infected and feel at ease.

Now he is older, compared to the last time I saw him, he has more wrinkles, and his beard is also mixed with white, but his expression is still firm and his eyes are still bright, but he is colder and more tender than before .

He looked at me, his voice was very soft, as if raising his voice would scare me, he said: "Little brother, let's go home."

My thinking is more active than ever, my mind is clearer than ever, and memories are washing my barren brain grooves. At this moment, I seem to have returned to the human world from a certain ghost land in the non-human world, so that my heart feels hot, but I don’t know why, I said I couldn't speak, and it was difficult to even roll my Adam's apple. I felt as if I was being crushed under a huge boulder, and my whole body was so painful that I couldn't feel it. But even a huge boulder could not move my already numb heart.

And at this moment, my heart, which has been numb, suddenly and unprecedentedly hurt, as if I smashed the scabbed and hard shell with a hammer, and burned the newly grown tender flesh inside. In this pain, I felt that my tears were blurred Eye sockets, tears soaked ears.

At this moment, I forgot everything, and I just wanted to say something—"Brother, I miss you very much."