dust in the chest

When Song Yanshu arrived at the hospital, Fu Qingjun was sleeping with a haggard face. With her back to the door, Priscilla was lying on the edge of the bed, seemingly also in a light sleep.

He opened the door and went in.The sound of the door opening woke Priscilla up. Seeing that it was Song Yanshu, she forced a smile and said, "Here you are."

Song Yanshu also nodded to her, and then asked: "Iseverything OK?"

"Not really. Doctor said that the is fighting with his last breath. I think he's been waiting for you."

Song Yanshu didn't know what to say.Walking to the side of the bed, looking at the face that was [-]% similar to his own, but much older, his heart felt like a five-flavored bottle was overturned.

There is an old Chinese saying: death is like a lamp going out.Song Yanshu suddenly felt that many things became insignificant in the face of death.

He called out, "Dad."

It's the first time I called so sincerely.

He used to hate this man in front of him.From the time he was sensible, he found that he was different from other children: he didn't have a father.His mother told him, your father has gone far away.So whenever a child laughed at him for not having a father, he always shouted angrily, "I have a father, but he is far away, I have a father!"

After entering junior high school, he began to understand that a place far away is a very illusory term. Looking at his mother who was depressed all day long, he thought that a place far away referred to heaven.

On the day his mother died, he opened his red and swollen eyes and asked, Grandpa, who is my father?Is he dead?

Grandpa sighed, reached out and touched his grandson's head, that's all, that's all.When your mother was around, don't let us tell you, now that she's gone, you're grown up too.There are some things that I should let you know.

Grandpa told a not-so-long story about romantic love and cruel reality.Only then did he know that Far Away refers to the United States, and his father's name is Fu Qingjun.

He searched for Fu Qingjun on the Internet, and the results made him both surprised and angry: a successful entrepreneur, a beautiful and gentle American wife, and a pair of lovely mixed-race children.

Why do you live such a happy life?Why can you abandon me and my mother?

A few years later, he entered the university and met Lu Jiaming.The one who always looks like he doesn't care.He gradually began to think: Why should I give up a lot of sunshine in my life for a person I have never met?

The person on the bed opened his eyes, and a "word book" pulled him back from the deep vortex of memories.

"Yes, I am."

"Yanshu, I'm sorry for you and Fangfang. I know it's too late to say anything now, but I..." Fu Qingjun seemed a little excited, and Song Yanshu patted his hand reassuringly.As if he was encouraged, he took a breath and continued:

"Back then, my family gave me the opportunity to go to the United States. Although I was reluctant to part with Fangfang, in order to give her a better future, I still gritted my teeth and went. At that time, I didn't know that she was pregnant with you. She must have I didn't tell me because I was afraid of affecting my decision. I... If I knew, I would definitely not leave her there alone. "

Fu Qingjun coughed when he got excited, Song Yanshu couldn't bear it: "Dad, stop talking."

"No, I want to say it. If I don't say it again, I'm afraid I won't have a chance. I'm sorry for Fangfang. After arriving in the United States, I had a very difficult life alone. I wanted to go back to China several times. But after calming down, I thought, since I came , Then, there is absolutely no reason to go back without achieving anything. Then I met Priscilla, she gave me a lot of care in all aspects, and my career has improved. I... I... I fell in love with her naturally. At first I also I struggled, but then my mother called me overseas and told me that Fangfang was married. Of course I didn’t believe it. She said she would wait for me, but I couldn’t contact her, and Priscilla was so kind to me. I later married Fangfang, and Priscilla and I got together naturally."

Listening to his intermittent narration, Song Yanshu felt a sense of vicissitudes in his heart.He suddenly thought of Lu Jiaming.

"After I'm gone, Priscilla..."

"Don't worry, I will return to China in the future. You can leave everything here to them. I only want the shares of the company you invested in China."

Fu Qingjun wanted to say something, but in the end he only said "yes".

After Song Yanshu went out, Justice Justice entered the room. Priscilla's eyes were still red, and Song Yanshu had no intention of comforting her.

"I'll just take what belongs. It'll never beat threatening."

"Thank you. I appreciate that, but you know I don't care about this." (Thank you, I appreciate that, but you know I don't care about this.)

"I know, I just play my part." (I know, I just do my own thing.)

Two days later, Fu Qingjun finally left with a peaceful face.Before leaving, he said, "Fangfang, I'm here to accompany you."

In addition to all the shares of the Chinese company, Song Yanshu was given 30% of his movable property in the will.

Priscilla said: "I know that I've taken your mother's palce, but I'll never regret that. I love him, and I always do."

Song Yanshu lowered his gaze and said nothing more.He couldn't bear any resentment towards such a frank woman.

Mom, I'm sorry.

When he was about to board the plane, his half-breed brother Brooklyn chased him.

"Song, you can't just leave like that!" (You can't just leave like that!)

"Likewhat"

"Without me!" (Leave me alone!)

"Actually, I can. Go back home, Brooklyn. I'm leaving for good."

"I love you!" (I love you!)

"But I don't, and I'm your half brother." (I don't love you, and, I'm your brother.)

No longer looking at the people behind him, Song Yanshu took a firm step forward.Lu Jiaming, I'm back.

Song Yanshu left, but Lu Jiaming still lived in his house.During his absence, Lu Jiaming missed him more and more every day he passed.It was as if he had been possessed by a demon, and his body and spirit were eroded bit by bit by the three words of Song Yanshu.

He sleeps on his bed, on his pillow, and on his quilt.It's like getting closer to each other.

He got up in the misty morning and ran along the possible route.Look at the Chaoyang that Song Yanshu has seen, walk the road that Song Yanshu has walked.When he was out of breath, he thought: Lu Jiaming, you are probably doomed, even doing such a pretentious thing.

After the morning run, he would buy two breakfasts at the breakfast shop outside the community, and then take them home and eat them all.Although he always felt that it was not as delicious as what Song Yanshu bought.

After get off work at night, he would sit alone on the sofa, watch some unnamed programs, and then fall asleep.

He began to clean carefully, not sparing every corner.

He began to miss Song Yanshu very, very much.Different from the kind of miss before.In the past, when I thought of him, I would feel happy, I would feel that the whole world is bright, and I would take out the photos in my wallet and describe them in detail.But now when I think of him, I only feel sad, sigh, feel sad, and dare not look at things related to him.I'm afraid that when you look at it, your longing will come like a tide, and if you don't have time to react, there will be nowhere to escape.

He began to recall his former self, the former Song Yanshu.At that time, I just liked it so silently, even if I just watched it from a distance, I felt happy.At that time, I didn't think about the future, I wouldn't wake up suddenly in the middle of the night, just because I dreamed that my parents found out that I liked men.Yes, he tried so many men and women, and finally found that he could be called liking, or even loving, but there was always only that one.

He finally couldn't lie to himself.

"came back?"

Lu Jiaming opened the door, and Song Yanshu was standing inside smiling at himself.

It seems that everything in the world has lost its color, it seems that only the person in front of him is alive, it seems that only he is his own oxygen.

I can't remember who took the initiative, but when they realized it, they were already hugging each other, kissing and touching passionately.But every cell in the body is screaming: not enough, not enough!

The dust in the chest, those deep thoughts, how can this comfort be enough?

Like two tireless beasts, only in each other can they find solace.You can only feel real when you are one with the other.

The clock went round and round.The two seem to have embarked on an endless journey.

The hungry belly was screaming, Lu Jiaming had no choice but to open his eyes again, looking at the arms around his waist, he sighed inwardly, he was probably late.

"woke up?"

"Well," Lu Jiaming was a little embarrassed, after all, before today, the relationship between the two of them was at most just acquaintances in college.The sudden change made him anxious and embarrassed.Turning to look at Song Yanshu, I suddenly remembered something, "I saw that there are many photos of me in your drawer."

"Did you see it?" Song Yanshu laughed out loud, "Well, it took a lot of thought."

"Why?" Lu Jiaming grabbed his restless hand.

"I think I've proved it many times." The other hand reached down and caught the key point at once. "Do you want to prove it again?"

Lu Jiaming's face turned red immediately, and he snorted softly: "No, I can't do it anymore. We haven't gotten out of bed for a long time."

"I'll let you off this time, go take a shower first, I'm going to order something to eat." He said so, but he chewed on Lu Jiaming's body for a while before letting go.

Lu Jiaming looked at the back of his little brother who couldn't help himself and the man leaving, and was helplessly discouraged.Struggling to get up and going to take a shower, but when getting out of bed, I pulled a part that is inconvenient to describe in detail, and fell to the ground with soreness.

Song Yanshu hurried over when he heard the screams: "What's wrong?"

Lu Jiaming held back his tears, and twisted his smile: "No, it's okay."

"Forget it, you'd better stay on the bed, I'll bring you food later."

"But, it's uncomfortable..." Lu Jiaming lowered his head and muttered.

"Ah, why did I forget, forget it, I'll carry you there. I'll wash my hands first."

Looking at his back, Lu Jiaming suddenly felt something sweet in his heart.