After the apprenticeship, I became a hater

My whole body hurts, the bones and flesh of my whole body seemed to be interrupted, chopped and reassembled again and again. I fell asleep and woke up in pain, woke up and slept again.

The chill seemed to drill into every pore and reach the depths of my blood, making my teeth tremble uncontrollably.

I feel cold, even though I have wrapped the quilt tightly and curled up into a ball in the quilt, I am still shivering from the cold.

Between half-dream and half-awake, I felt as if I had been thrown into the middle of an invisible sea. The icy sea water wrapped me up, and the biting cold penetrated into my limbs and bones through my pores.

I struggled instinctively in my drowsy consciousness, trying to break away from the unwarranted ocean.

But how could I get away so easily, the vortex hidden under the sea engulfed my limbs, my body, and dragged me deep.

I sank in pain and suffering, even if I tried my best, I couldn't break free from the gravity of the vortex.

so cold...

I felt that my whole body was as cold as if it was wrapped in a layer of ice, not only cold, but also very heavy.

It's hard to tell.

It stayed like this until the middle of the night, and finally I didn't have to wake up because of pain and coldness.

Because... I have a fever.

... My physical condition was not very good, and I didn't know how long I lay on the cold ground, which made my already weak physical condition worse.

Sure enough, I had a fever that night.

Both my consciousness and body were still trapped in a daze, and I felt a wave of heat vaguely.

……hot

so cold...

My eyes were wet, sweat and tears wet my eyelashes, sticking them together.

The body is hot and cold, and the consciousness is ups and downs, and finally sinks slowly like a rag full of juice.

The night... why is it so long?

I looked out the window at the long night and blinked slowly.

Why...it's not dawn yet?

I was curled up, unconscious in pain.

Originally, if there were seemingly no restrictions on my golden elixir, they appeared without reservation, and even added more. As long as I tried to circulate spiritual power, the meridians would be broken and painful.

The beasts had their tusks pulled out and their claws chopped off.

I am not a beast, and the only spiritual power that can give me a sense of security no longer exists. I am dying like a trapped animal in a cage.

I don't know how long it took, but I was woken up by the intensifying heat in my body.

so hot...can't breathe...

I couldn't focus my sight, and my mind was in a mess, as if countless cotton balls were all stuffed into my head, and my head was swollen and painful.

With my eyes open, my whole body seemed to be pulled into the mud, and even breathing took my little energy.

I know that I am sick, and I also know that if I let go of the wind and cold, my body will only become weak step by step until I die.

But I can't save myself, and there's no one to turn to.

If in the past, I can still ask Danfeng for credit, give me a few pills to reduce fever, or find a pot of herbs myself...

Now, it can only be boiled.

I was imprisoned here, and I couldn't find herbs to reduce fever, nor could I go to Danfeng to seek medicine for myself.

There is not even a single living thing passing by here, no matter how serious the fire is, no one will notice...

Maybe, I will just keep having a fever until I die?

It is also possible that he was lucky enough to survive, but his brain was burned out, and he might become a fool.

no... never...

"Cough!" There was an itchy feeling in my throat, and I coughed frantically: "Cough cough cough cough cough——"

I coughed until my heart ached, and my mouth was filled with the smell of rust, and finally I stopped slowly and stopped coughing.

There was a faint smell of blood in his mouth, his ears were buzzing, and every part of his body was clamoring for soreness.

I was lying on the ground like mud, and it was very difficult to even move a finger.

The tears hovering in his eyes could not be controlled and fell down.

I don't want... I'd rather die than become a fool.

It would be better to let me die than to suffer so much every day.

Why is it me?

Why am I so miserable...

I'm so pitiful...I'm so pitiful...

Just when I was immersed in my own sadness and couldn't extricate myself, I suddenly realized——

The door seemed to be pushed open by someone, and someone walked towards me.

Realizing this, my heart jumped up.

who is it?

... who came here?

I hastened to wipe off my smudged face, forced myself to get up half of my body, and raised my head with difficulty to look over.

The sweaty eyelashes were heavily stuck to the lower eyelids, and there was a slight sting when they were torn off, and the eyes were blurred through the mist of tears.

Through my teary eyes, I could only vaguely see a tall figure...

White as new snow, bright as moonlight.

In my slack vision, it seemed to be shining white and dazzling.

strangeness……

Why do I feel that this person looks familiar?

My mind turned slowly, staring blankly at the whiteness, forgetting to look away.

For this white, I have a vaguely familiar feeling in my heart.

It's just that my consciousness was pushed to the edge of the cliff by the discomfort of my body, and I couldn't spare the slightest effort to discern where this familiarity came from.

I just opened my eyes wide in a daze, and stared blankly at the direction the man was coming from. The tears seemed to have their own thoughts, and they kept falling there.

There was a cold and deep voice that came through the thick to sticky mist.

The voice is as cold as frost.

"What trick are you playing again?"

I was stunned for a while before I realized it, and I retorted silently in my heart.

none of your business?

Who the hell... I'm sick, and you still have to sneer at me, it's disgusting...

I couldn't restrain my grievances, pursed my mouth, and burst into tears with anger.

"Crying again..."

I just cry.

Since you feel wronged, why can't you cry.

Besides, I cried silently by myself, and it didn't affect others, so why didn't it work.

I cried myself and ignored that cold-hearted bad guy.

In a daze, I heard that voice again, who seemed to be talking to someone about something.

Another voice had nothing to do with him and said sarcastic remarks, "...Fengchi...has harm?...It's good to be stupid...Look how stupid he is now, how good he is..."

My ears worked one after another, and my voice was a little far away, making it difficult for me to hear clearly, but I managed to hear everything.

I heard that person suggest, "...otherwise you just leave him alone, he won't die anyway."

Is this human talk?

What do you mean you can't die anyway...

I'm still awake!

Who, what are you talking about? !

My eyes were rounded angrily, and I stared angrily at the past.

It's a pity that my vision was blurred by mist and tears, and I only saw two figures, one tall and one short.

The tall one is white, and the one a head shorter is purple.

They all look familiar.

Slowly, my eyes finally adapted to the current state of teary eyes, and the things I saw changed from hazy and blurred to sharp and angular, and gradually became clear.

Then, I finally saw the appearance of the man in white.

Clothes are like fresh snow, eyebrows are like distant mountains, and his face is cold, without any emotion.

It's... Luo Wuchen.

As for the other one, I frowned and looked, and sure enough...it was Qin Qing.

"It's just a..." Qin Qing's voice faded away, met my angrily gaze, smiled slightly, and continued: "A bad dog that bites its master back should be punished."

Luo Wuchen walked to my bed with a blank face, not knowing whether he had listened to Qin Qing's words, his expression was as pale as frost and snow.

Would he really want to do what Qin Qing said...to make me stupid?

I stared at Luo Wuchen in horror, and as he approached, my body couldn't help trembling.

Luo Wuchen's eyes looked at me coldly and calmly, his voice was as cold as frost: "Do you know that you are afraid?"

"Be good, I won't punish you."

My heart was cold, and I stared at him blankly, with the tip of my tongue behind my teeth, not knowing what to say.

Luo Wuchen didn't need my response either, he left such a body coldly and walked out.

When passing by Qin Qing, Luo Wuchen paused slightly.

"Prescribe him medicine."

Qin Qing glanced at me, turned his wrist, and presented a beautiful little jade bottle: "Guaranteed to enter one, and the rest of my life will be insane."

Luo Wuchen frowned slightly, and said lightly, "Fenghan."

"Okay," Qin Qing shrugged and sighed, "How can you use a sledgehammer to kill a chicken? It's just such a small wind and cold, how can it be used..."

Qin Qing held a pearl-sized pill between his fingertips and handed it to me, "Take it."

How dare I take his medicine.

With a frightened expression, he backed away again and again, but was entangled in the quilt and fell backwards.

Fortunately, the quilt is soft, so it won't make me hurt more.

Qin Qing laughed heartily as if being amused, "Why are you hiding, since Master Jian said he won't fool you, the medicine I gave you will definitely be fine."

"Of course, it's up to you if you still don't dare to eat it, but it would be pitiful to burn it into a fool."

Qin Qing cast a contemptuous look from top to bottom, opened my fingers, put the pill in my palm, and Shi Shi ran away.

The fingers holding the quilt were tightly clenched, and I felt like a beast locked up for people to watch, without the slightest dignity.

I'd love to have the guts to throw that pill far.

But I dare not bet...

I'm not stupid yet, but I've been played around time and time again, deceived time and time again, and I can't even climb up.

Wouldn't it be even more sad if I really burned into a fool?

After a long time, I slowly closed my eyes and took the pill.

That medicine can indeed dispel the fever.

It's just that the illness disappeared like a thread, and it was two days later that the wind and cold were truly cured.

Although it was just a cold, it still hurt my vitality.

I didn't grow much flesh, but after another round of consumption, I became more and more skinny. I didn't even need to look in the mirror. I just had to look down and see my bony wrists.

It seems that there is only a thin layer of skin stretched on the lonely bones, which can be easily broken without using force.

I am like a skinny puppet, standing silently on the window sill every day, with my godless eyes open, looking at the unchanging scenery outside the window, day after day.

And since that time, Luo Wuchen stopped coming every day.

If he didn't come, he gave me a break to breathe.

Keep me from being really driven crazy.

I stood at the window like a stone statue, and my eyes fell somewhere outside without focus.

I was in a trance when I suddenly heard someone calling me.

"Thank you late—"

Suddenly I heard an unfamiliar male voice, my body trembled reflexively, and my hands subconsciously blocked in front of me.

When I saw who it was, I couldn't help being slightly startled.

Mu...li?

"Xie Wan..." Mu Li looked around nervously.

His voice was deliberately low, with a nervous trembling breath.

When he raised his head, Mu Li was stunned.

"Thanks...it's late?"

I saw Mu Li's mouth gaping ridiculously, looking at me in a daze.

What's the matter with him?I frowned slightly puzzled.

"You, you are," Mu Li was stunned for a while, and looked at me hesitantly, "Your... face? Wait, are you Xie Wan?"

I still haven't been able to get used to the feeling of being stared at for a long time, twisting my fingers uncomfortably, holding on to my confidence, and coldly interrupting Mu Li's nonsense, "What do you want me for?"

"I..." Mu Li paused slightly, his dark eyes filled with complicated emotions.

"I heard...you are going to marry Sword Master."

The oppression in the air is like substance, and my fingers slowly clenched.

"You..." Mu Li looked at me hesitantly, "Did you do it voluntarily?"

I don't quite understand why he is asking me this.

This question doesn't make any sense.

Mu Li quickly looked left and right, leaned over as if encouraged, and said in a low voice: "If you don't want to, I can help you."

"Help? How can I help?" I was in a daze for a while, with a slightly mocking tone.

But Mu Li's eyes widened, suddenly filled with righteous indignation.

"You really didn't do it voluntarily...Even the sword master can't force people, really, really..."

I looked coldly at Mu Li's appearance as if he was fighting for me, and my heart was calm.

Only when you have really experienced it will you realize that people's sorrows and joys are never connected, and there is never any empathy, and some people can only watch the fire from the other side.

"Why don't you tell me? If you don't want to, just tell me..." Mu Li murmured, "...I..."

"and then?"

Facing Mu Li's kindness, my heart was like a rock, and I didn't waver at all.

I have already known from time to time that my wishes, my sorrows and joys, have never been really cared about by anyone.

As for whether I voluntarily... what difference does it make?

I never have a choice.

It is useless to say.

Mu Li clenched his fists and looked at me fixedly: "I can rescue you out."

"I can help you get out of here."

leave……

I still couldn't help being shaken for a moment, and it was a bit complicated for a while.

Unexpectedly, the one who said this to me would be Mu Li who has always looked down on me the most.

Leaving Killing Peak, Zetianzong, and Luo Wuchen's control will always have a huge temptation for me.

I clearly knew that Mu Li might just be coaxing me casually, but I still wanted to believe it.

My thoughts drifted further and further away, my sight shifted slightly, my tone was erratic, and I said softly, "Then what do you want me to give in return?"

"Return?" Mu Li scratched his head, "Then, can you smile at me? I've never seen you smile."

What a weird request.

But no matter what Mu Li's intentions are, I also...

My heart has made a decision, I decided to put all my eggs in one basket, even if there is only a one in ten thousand possibility, I want to gamble once.

"Okay." I took a deep breath, gently raised my hand to hold him back, looked directly at him with deep eyes, and said seriously: "I'll go with you."

But at that time I didn't know--

I am not redeemed.

Behind the abyss is an even deeper abyss.