overdue lover

The most common food in winter is barbecue and hot pot.

Ji Qinglin thought that the two had eaten hot pot together years ago, so he decisively chose the barbecue restaurant.

Taking off his coat and asking the waiter to cover it up, Ji Qinglin casually asked Xie Lanchuan, "Is there something urgent to leave in such a hurry?"

"No." Xie Lanchuan looked down at the menu, "There are some problems with the procedures for the house in country T, I have to deal with it."

Ji Qinglin doesn't know much about buying a house, and Xin He handles all the procedures for buying a house.

When Xie Lanchuan told him, he nodded half-understanding. During the conversation, Xie Lanchuan had already selected the dishes.

Plum wine was the first to be served.

Pour the pale yellow plum wine with a touch of green into a short glass with square ice cubes, evoking bursts of sour and sweet aroma.

Ji Qinglin smelled it, and raised his eyes to thank Xie Lanchuan.

Xie Lanchuan withdrew his arm pouring wine, and under the dim yellow light, his thin brows and eyes were a little soft.

"You're welcome, just a glass of wine."

Ji Qinglin smiled, "Actually, I think you are quite strange."

Xie Lanchuan raised his eyebrows, "How do you say?"

There are too many examples to give, Ji Qinglin can only pick the most abnormal point, the corners of his lips are slightly pursed, and his voice is so soft that only two people can hear: "Actually, you don't like me very much, right?"

This sentence is the tone of affirmation.

Ji Qinglin thought, since he was leaving, he should stop making excuses and speak clearly, it would be good for both of them.

Being caught by Ji Qinglin, Xie Lanchuan didn't panic, instead he looked into Ji Qinglin's eyes with interest, and gestured for him to continue talking.

"Actually, it's very obvious." Ji Qinglin raised his right hand, pointed to the ring finger of his right hand with his left hand, "You have ring marks on your hand, so you have worn the ring for many years, I guess there must be some reason why you have to Take it off."

"And this reason is related to someone."

The answer was ready to come out from Ji Qinglin's mouth.

After "breaking up" with Gu Yinmo, Ji Qinglin watched the love of countless people with the camera, and also saw many stories of joys and sorrows, life and death.

Most of the emotional problems in this world end in tragedies. Even if they are not tragedies, they will be overwhelmed by firewood, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar and tea in the end, and become a mess of chickens and dogs.

Sometimes, he feels selfishly, it might not be a bad thing to keep the person he loves most in his memory, keep the incompleteness of love, and keep the illusion of love.

Until a certain inadvertent moment, he saw Xie Lanchuan's eyes secretly looking at Xin He's back, and his heart was hit hard.

It turns out they...

Xin He seemed to be accustomed to Xie Lanchuan's gaze, or turned a blind eye to it. He kept holding his girlfriend's finger, and his body was leaning towards her girlfriend. He said indecent jokes, which made the girl giggle.

Xie Lanchuan was standing on the edge one meter away from them, watching quietly, his eyes as calm as water.

What kind of desperate love is it to watch the one you love get married and have children.

Just looking at this scene, Ji Qinglin felt extremely painful.

He didn't intend to expose Xie Lanchuan, so he didn't give an answer.

Xie Lanchuan seemed calm, but his eyes were dizzy, "You are right, it has something to do with him."

To some extent, the two are actually in the same boat.

It was beyond Ji Qinglin's expectation to get Xie Lanchuan's acknowledgment. He didn't continue to ask, and he couldn't say anything about persuading Xie Lanchuan to pursue happiness.

He could only raise his glass first, "May we... all get what we want."

Xie Lanchuan also picked up the wine glass, and expressed disapproval of Ji Qinglin's words, "It's not that I got what I wanted, but that I can continue to endure loneliness."

"...People are lonely, some things, it's better not to let him know."

After finishing speaking, Xie Lanchuan drank the shallow plum wine in the cup in one gulp.

The sound of ice cubes colliding brought back Ji Qinglin's somewhat distant consciousness. He took a sip, and the feeling of the sweet and sour plum wine slipping into his mouth made the back of his neck feel chilly.

The beef ordered was similar to what was on the menu. Xie Lanchuan started to grill the meat. Ji Qinglin looked at Xie Lanchuan through the air deformed by the high temperature, and suddenly pursed his lips and smiled.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Laugh at yourself for wronging yourself." After talking, Ji Qinglin stopped pretending in front of Xie Lanchuan, and calmly joked, "If he knew about you...he might collapse."

Xie Lanchuan paused for cutting the beef, raised his eyes and smiled wryly, "He knows."

Ji Qinglin was stunned, and then heard Xie Lanchuan say: "When he was in high school, he knew what I thought of him, and as a result, our relationship with each other began to become estranged. He was a bit repulsive to people like us."

"People like us", this title made Ji Qinglin a little uncomfortable.

Xie Lanchuan could see his mind, and explained: "Forgive my words, but we must not admit that you and I are different in this society."

Ji Qinglin could understand what he meant.

Men who like the same sex account for a very small number of men in society. Most men who find that they like the same sex will scruple about the strange eyes of their relatives, classmates, friends, colleagues and bosses, spend their lives hiding their true sexual orientation, and choose to marry or die alone. It is a tragedy that no one understands.

There are also some who are at the forefront of the trend of the times, boldly come out of the closet, use their own speciality to attract people's attention, sensationalize the public, and retire after earning enough money.

What's worse are those who know they like men, but still want to hug left and right after marriage and enjoy the blessings of everyone-only adding a few insults to the gay community.

Ji Qinglin doesn't comment on the first two kinds of practices, but hates the last kind of people.

But sad at the prejudice of the whole society.

Up to now, I have to give myself the title of "heterogeneous".

"Xin He has always been a straight man, so it's normal to feel disgusted," Xie Lanchuan cut the bacon in front of him with lowered eyes, his voice was very slow, "After so many years, I'm used to being alone."

"After a long time, I will doubt who I really like."

"Is it the phantom named 'Xin He', or him?"

Ji Qinglin silently picked up the wine glass and took a sip, the sour taste entered between his teeth, it was actually a bit bitter.

Most of the reasons for loneliness are the same.

But many people ask for it first but don't get it, and then refuse to make it. As time goes by, they even forget the reason for their refusal to make it, and only the figure of that person is left in front of them.

Ji Qinglin's eyes were red from the smoke, he sniffed slightly, and turned his head to avoid Xie Lanchuan's gaze.

"Tell me about you." Xie Lanchuan took the initiative to transfer the topic to Ji Qinglin, "Have you reconciled with that man?"

Ji Qinglin shrugged, "It's impossible for me and him..."

Xie Lanchuan was very interested in Ji Qinglin's story. After listening to his narration patiently, he asked earnestly, "So, the barriers between the two of you have basically been cleared?"

Ji Qinglin didn't quite understand what Xie Lanchuan meant, and his eyes were puzzled.

"Whether it's his father's coercion or the discipline of the same school, almost all of the reasons that led to your breakup were objective reasons, and they were all forced choices. Now when you can choose freely, why are you retreating?"

Xie Lanchuan's question burst into blood.

Ji Qinglin thought for a while, then whispered, "I don't know how credible his words are."

Ji Qinglin's memory of Gu Yinmo's bad behavior is still fresh. During the entanglement, Ji Qinglin almost wiped out all his trust in Gu Yinmo.

"You still love him." Xie Lanchuan said firmly, "You just can't believe it."

Ji Qinglin put his hands on his sides and tilted his head, looking very puzzled.

After a while, he answered seriously: "Is it love? I don't think so now—maybe it's just a habit."

I'm used to someone being chased by me, I'm used to waiting where I am, I'm used to watching Gu Yinmo hold other people's hands, I'm used to him hurting me.

This is a bad habit.

"If, I mean if, you have the opportunity to be together, but you still can't make it to the end," Xie Lanchuan rested his chin with one hand, looking slightly drunk, "Will you regret it in the next five years?"

Ji Qinglin opened his eyes hard, forced a smile and asked, "Five years and five years, how long will I have to wait for him?"

"I want to have my own life..."

Who would wait for someone who doesn't want to turn back?

The two chatted a lot, didn't eat much barbecue, but drank a few extra bottles of plum wine.

The barbecue shop is not far from the community. The two of them staggered along the empty street. The wind in early spring has become a little warmer, and the dry branches on the road have also quietly sprouted new shoots. From a distance, the yellow and green are alternately revealed. There is a sense of spring.

As soon as the wind blew, Xie Lanchuan suddenly stopped in front of Ji Qinglin.

"I, I want to apologize to you..." He lowered his head and said blushingly.

Ji Qinglin looked up at him, and gave a smirk, "Why are you both apologizing to me...you, and, you didn't do anything wrong..."

"... But that, those who did... wrong, don't even bother to say sorry..." The last sentence was almost a whisper.

Xie Lanchuan supported Ji Qinglin, who was about to fall, and led him to a bench by the side of the road to sit down.

Ji Qinglin, who kept his head down all the time, closed his eyes and suddenly said, "You...what do you want to apologize for? Let me listen, listen..."

Xie Lanchuan supported Ji Qinglin's shoulders and let his head rest on his body lightly, thinking that Ji Qinglin might feel better this way.

"I'm actually a very despicable person," Xie Lanchuan plucked up the courage to speak out his true thoughts, "Because of Xin He, I have always used you as a substitute for Xin He before, and I must apologize for this matter .”

Ji Qinglin kept his head down, breathing evenly with the smell of alcohol.

After a while, he tied his tongue and said vaguely: "...I, I know."

"I've seen it for a long time...you, your kid, your purpose is not pure..."

Speaking of which, Ji Qinglin sighed softly, "...how could someone like me for no reason."

Hearing Ji Qinglin's words, Xie Lanchuan felt more guilt in his heart, and he solemnly apologized again: "Are you—"

Ji Qinglin didn't let him finish, and covered his mouth with one hand, and said vaguely and domineeringly: "Don't, don't say this... I don't like to hear it!"

Xie Lanchuan laughed helplessly, but his smile hadn't subsided, and he suddenly noticed a black Lexus parked on the street a few steps away from the two of them, like a ghost that appeared out of thin air.

The people in the car seemed to be looking at him too, the staring through the darkness made Xie Lanchuan's heart shudder.

He thought for a moment, and finally went to the car and knocked on the window.

The black car window fell down, revealing a noble and indifferent face, Xie Lanchuan suddenly understood why Ji Qinglin couldn't forget this person.

Apart from other things, from the perspective of face control, this thick face is shockingly beautiful, it is indeed a gay dream.

Xie Lanchuan took out the cigarette case, shook out a cigarette, and handed it over, "Let's talk?"

The man didn't pick it up, his eyes first fell on the smoke, and then upwards, sweeping across Xie Lanchuan's face, Xie Lanchuan's heart shuddered.

"Luo Huan," the man tilted his head, his voice was deep and cold, "send Ji Qinglin home."

With that said, he opened the door and got out of the car.

Standing still in front of Xie Lanchuan, he made a gesture of rejection, his words were full of alienation, "Thank you, I don't smoke."

【Speak】

Lao Xie can deal with this person, at least he can correct his mistakes

Old Gu emmm

Good night in advance! ! !