waste heat

Cheng Yan accompanied Song Yu to the psychological club.

In the afternoon, they asked for leave and came to a far away place by car. The clubhouse was open. Cheng Yan came here for the first time. He didn't know the process and just followed Song Yu. He could only accompany him and could do nothing else.

The clubhouse is clean and tidy, and there are people entertaining them when they enter the door. Cheng Yan and Song Yu enter the door and see a few psychologists in casual clothes. The service personnel come to pour water for them and ask them if they have an appointment. Once Song Yu tells the situation, the person will contact A psychiatrist who is in charge of Song Yu.

The doctor said to them, "Come in and sit down."

Cheng Yan followed Song Yu in.

I came to a small room with a vast view outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, which is more suitable for people to relax. There are green plants by the window, a sofa, an hourglass on the table, and a medical record.

The psychiatrist was sitting on the opposite chair, about 40 years old, looking at Song Yu, with a middle-aged voice, "How are you doing?"

Song Yudao: "It's okay, except for the sleep problem."

"Trouble sleeping?"

Song Yu nodded: "I don't know why."

The psychiatrist said: "There must be a reason..." He was about to continue when he saw Cheng Yan next to him. This job is usually one-on-one consultation, and it is not suitable for others to be around. The doctor raised his hand and signaled Song Yu.

Song Yu glanced at Cheng Yan, "It's okay, he knows everything."

I can't know everything, but I just know a little bit. Cheng Yan stood up obediently and didn't disturb them, lest the doctor drive him out. He also wanted to know more about Song Yu's situation, so that he could have a better understanding of himself before he could see himself. what can be done.

The doctor continued: "Okay, if there is a problem with sleep, it must be an emotional problem. What happened recently?"

Song Yu thought for a while: "No."

The doctor chuckled: "What about the little things?"

Song Yudao: "It's nothing."

This is a psychological club, and in front of him is a counselor. If Song Yu keeps silent, it will be difficult to proceed further. The doctor sees it through and knows what to do, so he continues to ask: "When did it start?"

"Did you say sleep?"

The doctor nodded.

"It's been a while."

"more specific."

Song Yu thought for a while: "Probably... around the 17th of last month."

The doctor looked at the time, "It started on the 17th, you just came to see me now, how are you doing these days?"

Cheng Yan thought to himself, it was really serious, and he was the one who asked Song Yu to come, otherwise how could he get better if he treated himself like a normal person all day long?

"Sit down," the doctor said. "It should be a long chat."

When the doctor was chatting with Song Yu, Cheng Yan was listening. He didn't make a sound. He acted as a transparent person. He heard the doctor ask about Song Yu's recent situation. From their conversation, Cheng Yan learned something about "violent fantasies". crux.

Excitement and disappointment can easily lead to violent complexes. Song Yu has recently controlled it quite well, much better than before, but suddenly began to have a big problem with sleep. This situation has lasted for more than a month. What did Jiang Heng say? ?He has a complicated illness combined with manic depression, so when he has an attack, he is not only violent, but occasionally has an inexplicable depression. It should be like that now, but he can't find the reason. Song Yu's mood suddenly became like this. According to him, Nothing major or minor happened, it was quite peaceful, which made Cheng Yan a little puzzled.

Later, the doctor chatted with Song Yu about some irrelevant things. Cheng Yan didn't understand the relationship between those irrelevant topics and his condition, such as whether his parents called him, whether he passed the exam, but Cheng Yan didn't dare to ask more. People who engage in psychology are quite mysterious to him. They have their own way of tutoring others, which outsiders don't quite understand.

The conversation between Song Yu and the doctor was chattering and laughing, and he couldn't see any problems. This made Cheng Yan think of those people who suffer from depression, whether they also behave normally and get along well with their classmates Well, the person who laughs heartily in the eyes of others suddenly becomes depressed and commits suicide one day?

He has heard too many cases like this. Seeing Song Yu calmly explaining the current situation, Cheng Yan was really worried. Yes, he was afraid that those tragic and terrible things would happen to Song Yu. Before Song Yu thought he would be afraid, it was not It didn't make sense, he was really afraid, he was afraid that Song Yu would suddenly explode one day, not hurting him, but hurting himself.

Chatting and chatting, Song Yu and the doctor turned their heads to look at Cheng Yan from time to time, Cheng Yan was overwhelmed by flattery, his eyes didn't know where to put his eyes, he looked around, and couldn't avoid them, so he looked at Song Yu, Song Yu's extremely tired eyes just Showing a little forced smile.

They chatted like this for half an hour, and Cheng Yan waited like this for half an hour, until Song Yu stood up and reminded Cheng Yan, "Let's go."

Cheng Yan snorted, stood up quickly, and was about to follow, when the doctor over there suddenly said: "Wait, can I have a chat with this handsome young man?"

Song Yu frowned.

Cheng Yan was also surprised.

The doctor explained: "Don't get me wrong, it has nothing to do with the illness. I don't think his complexion is very good. He must have some emotional problems, right?"

Song Yu looked at Cheng Yan's face, but didn't feel it.

But the doctor spoke, and he couldn't say anything.

The doctor said again: "What I asked is very private, so don't listen to me."

"It's okay, he doesn't need to keep secrets from me." Song Yu said.

Cheng Yan pushed him and said, "No, you go out, I won't listen to you."

Song Yu allowed him to listen to him, but Cheng Yan didn't. A little unbalanced in his heart, he was kicked out. Song Yu was pushed to the door: "Then I'll wait for you outside."

Cheng Yan nodded: "Yes."

After Song Yu walked out, Cheng Yan turned his head and looked at the doctor inside the table. The doctor smiled and said, "I'm sorry, you look pretty good, so use this method to send him away."

"I can see it." The doctor gave him a wink just now, Cheng Yan thought he was wrong, then the doctor raised his question, and Cheng Yan probably understood.

Cheng Yan guessed: "Is it about him? Is there anything I can't tell him?"

Song Yu is the protagonist, is there anything he can't hear?Cheng Yan couldn't imagine what it would be.

The doctor said: "It's not that he can't hear it, it's that he doesn't seem to want to tell me. I've talked to him for so long, and the other people around him have no problems. To be honest, it's impossible. People don't get excited for no reason. And loss, there must be a certain point that you haven’t found that is supporting you, or arousing your emotions, so something must have happened around him, he is unwilling to say, I want to ask you, you should have a good relationship with him Recently, I see that when he talks about you, he is in a more relaxed state, and stability will make people relaxed. Do you know what happened to him recently?"

"Recently?" Cheng Yan thought for a while: "Nothing."

"What about before that? You can push it forward. There are no big or small things. You can say anything you think of."

Cheng Yan really couldn't think that the two of them had been peaceful and smooth since they reconciled, without any disputes or conflicts.

Seeing that he couldn't think of it for a long time, the doctor reminded: "On the 17th of last month, around the 17th, or before the 17th, you can think about it carefully."

Cheng Yan tried his best to think back to the things around Song Yu last month. At that time, the two of them had an ugly fight, and then they reconciled. Then today, today is still a little abnormal. When the new assistant came, Song Yu's Responding that he still finds it strange now, when Cheng Yan realizes this incident, Cheng Yan's mind suddenly clears, there is a major incident that is being ignored by him, it was before their reconciliation, it was something that indirectly caused their conflict, That incident didn't happen after they reconciled, before the 17th!

"There is a girl who died." Cheng Yanfan suddenly realized, yes, there are traces to follow, Song Yu's reaction, when the new assistant came today, what did Susu call her?Tingting?Song Yu frowned and asked what his surname was, which showed that in his subconscious mind, this matter had not passed yet.

did not pass.

The doctor was quite shocked, "Someone died?"

Cheng Yan became flustered. He realized that this must be the reason, and explained to the doctor: "Well, a girl in our school jumped off the building."

"Is she related to Song Yu?"

"She likes Song Yu and wrote many diaries for him. Before she died, she sent a curse letter to Song Yu..." Even if it is a curse message, there is no difference. Those bloody words are still echoing in Cheng Yan's mind , "That girl has schizophrenia, she seems to be treated at your place, her name is Tan Tingting."

The doctor thought for a while, but had no impression: "I'm not in charge. Someone else should have information, but you said she sent a curse letter to Song Yu. What do you mean?"

Cheng Yan relayed the truth, thinking of it with complicated emotions, "She knew that Song Yu was obsessed with red. On the day she jumped off the building, she wore red clothes, saying that it was to let Song Yu remember her forever, and turned into a ghost to haunt him. kind of words."

The doctor was thoughtful: "Did Song Yu see how she died?"

"I don't know." Cheng Yan really didn't know, Song Yu never said, Tan Tingting told him the time and place, did Song Yu go?Have you witnessed it?Or do you take this kind of thing as a joke and ignore it?

Cheng Yan hoped it was the latter. He could never forget the appearance of Tan Tingting's death. Don't let Song Yu see that bloody look.

"Then...how did he react to the girl's death, or to those curse letters?"

Cheng Yan clenched his fists, "No, he said he didn't care, but Tan Tingting's death made him emotionally fluctuate..."

It was too big to break up with him, and too big to avoid him, Cheng Yan didn't want to think about those few days again, it was not easy at all, not uncomfortable at all.

"I really don't care, it doesn't matter, it's impossible for my mood to fluctuate so much," the doctor sighed, "It's still a shadow, and now I have found the reason."

While the two were talking, there was a knock on the door, Song Yu opened a little gap, and asked inside, "Are you alright?"

Cheng Yan looked back, he didn't come in, he knew how to measure.

The doctor whispered: "I can't do anything about it, it's entirely up to him, but he doesn't seem willing to mention it, so it's up to you friends."

"I don't know how to do it." Cheng Yan wanted to do something, but he didn't know what to do.

The doctor was at a loss and said: "There is no specific method. To eliminate these psychological shadows requires self-healing ability and external comfort, but no one can give an accurate answer on how to do it. I just said to comfort him as much as possible, not without mentioning it. This matter, but to kill the impact of this matter on him."

Song Yu pushed open the door, "I'm coming in."

Cheng Yan glanced at him, quite worried, the doctor smiled and said: "Okay, let's go here, let's go back."

The doctor didn't talk to Cheng Yan any more, he said everything that needed to be said, and in the end there was only a suggestion, there was no way to do it, and it was the same thing to say more, Cheng Yan and Song Yu left the psychological club.

Outside, Song Yu asked Cheng Yan if he was okay.

"No, it's nothing serious." Cheng Yan was absent-minded, and Song Yu was beside him, and he could feel abnormal in an instant.

"What's wrong?" Song Yu said, "You look lost."

"Ah?" Cheng Yan touched his face: "Oh, it's nothing, let's go back to school."

Song Yu originally wanted to take him to eat, but he hasn't eaten yet, but Cheng Yan didn't want to, he said he was sleepy and wanted to go back to take a nap, Song Yu agreed.

Back in the dormitory, Song Yu always felt that something was wrong with Cheng Yan, but he wondered if Cheng Yan hadn't had a good rest, so he asked him to go back to sleep first, Song Yu also went back to the dormitory, because he was the only one in the dormitory because of leave .

He wanted to go to accompany Cheng Yan, but Cheng Yan said he wanted to take a nap, so Song Yu could only lie on the bed in the dormitory alone.

He didn't sleep well, and he couldn't fall asleep even when he was lying on the bed. He simply unplugged the computer and brought it up. The poor rest also affected his class status. Just like now, he can't gather his energy even if he wants to read some materials.

I was sleepy looking at it, and woke up after closing my eyes for a while. My eyes were sleepy, but my mind was in a mess again. Every day, the tormented person was insane.

At five o'clock in the afternoon, Song Yu left the dormitory. He contacted Cheng Yan and wanted to take him to dinner, but there was no reply to the message. Song Yu felt strange, and no one answered the phone. He came to Cheng Yan's dormitory to find There are only a few people who have just returned from buying food.

Qu Tao said: "He's not here, he asked for leave this afternoon." He only knew that he asked for leave, but he didn't know what it was for.

Song Yu asked: "I know he asked for leave, but he should be back, didn't you see him?"

"I haven't been there since I came back." Qu Tao said, "It's empty."

Song Yu understood, and learned from them that Cheng Yan didn't go to class when he came back in the afternoon, and he wasn't in the dormitory. He didn't reply to the message or answer the phone. Song Yu was vaguely worried.

Because Cheng Yan was not found, and Song Yu didn't go to eat, he couldn't figure out where Cheng Yan went, not because he was too worried, but because it was abnormal not to reply to phone calls and text messages at the same time, Cheng Yan didn't like to play missing people.

Could it be related to the doctor's talk in the afternoon?Could it be that Cheng Yan also has some problems?

Song Yu didn't feel at ease for the whole night of self-study.

"Song Yu," the female classmate yelled, "Can you show me the second set of test papers? Mathematics."

Song Yu came back to his senses, took out a paper from a pile of papers, and passed it on. Before the teacher explained the test paper, the top scorers in the class would check the test paper first. They did not wait for the teacher to explain, but referred to each other. Can come up with problems.

The floor where the third year of high school is located is quiet, and everyone is making the last effort for their own future. The shrinking number of days on the blackboard newspaper puts tremendous pressure on the students, reminding them that a big battle is coming.

Song Yu is a very complicated role in the school, his grades are very top-notch, there is no special subject, every subject is excellent and stable enough, but in everyone's impression, he never thinks that he is a top student, and he is also stereotyped The impression made them unacceptable to be with a group of gangsters. Before Han Chengyu dropped out of school, the two of them colluded with each other every day, which caused many people to think that Song Yu was difficult to get along with, cold and scary.

Now that he is about to graduate, there are still many people in the class who are not familiar with Song Yu, and they seldom even talk.

The focus of Song Yu's life has never been on his classmates. He is indeed a bit cold, and he admits it, but he will not make changes. Social networking requires quality. He can make many friends, but he is a nod acquaintance He doesn't need too many friends, so he doesn't want to spend time on these unnutritious things. He already has quite a few friends who are really compatible.

School is a platform for carrying youth and a way to different paths in the future. Some people hope to make friends here, while others just want to rush towards a certain goal.

Now Song Yu only has one goal left, the college entrance examination and university.

The evening self-study was over, and he went back to the dormitory to continue fighting. Song Yu was waiting for the news. After the evening self-study was over, Cheng Yan still didn't reply to his message, and he became impatient.

I went to the balcony to make a call, but the result was the same, I got through, but no one answered.

What the hell is going on?

Song Yu was about to go out to find someone, when a message came into the phone that was hung up.

——I'll wait for you at the arena.

It was Cheng Yan's message. Song Yu glanced at it and felt that something had happened. He didn't have time to reply, so he went out with his mobile phone.

It is 10:30 in the evening.

There was no one in the arena.

People who have additional training will not do it at this time. Exercise will make people excited and it is not easy to fall asleep. A day of studying is exhausting enough, so everyone goes back early to rest.The arena was pitch black, and the lights were not turned on. The venue was huge, so Song Yu turned on a light, and the scene in front of him became clearer.

He didn't see Cheng Yan's shadow. He didn't know what Cheng Yan was doing when he came back to play and disappeared. Song Yu turned around and didn't hear any movement. He seemed to have entered a trap set by bad guys. He was alone in the arena. in confusion.

"Cheng Yan?" Song Yu called his name, his voice echoed in the arena, and there was the sharp friction of sneakers on the floor.

When Song Yu was walking around alone, there was a little movement from the corridor, "here."

Song Yu searched for the voice and looked over.

A head poked out from behind the wall, it was Cheng Yan, he didn't know what he was doing, he hid behind the wall, only showing his head, looking at him with evasive eyes.

"What are you doing?" Song Yu stepped over, but before he could get close, the people behind the wall shouted to stop in surprise.

"Don't come here..." Cheng Yan looked down, he seemed very nervous, the emotion on his face was unnatural, and his tone was flustered: "Wait a minute."

He hid behind the wall.

Song Yu waited quietly, he was very anxious, anxiously asked Cheng Yan why he was playing with him and disappeared, which made him worry, he had experienced such a feeling once before, God knows how emotional ups and downs Song Yu would be if he could not be contacted?

However, when he saw Cheng Yan, he couldn't question him anymore, he couldn't say anything, and he couldn't bear to blame him. Song Yu felt that he was dreaming. Is the person in front of him real?

Cheng Yan, who came out from behind the wall, was wearing a red skirt. The bright red color aroused strong emotions in Song Yu's eyes. The tail of the skirt failed to drag the floor, but covered his thighs. On the top, the front is short and the back is long, and the two slender and straight legs are exposed to the faint light. The clothes are extremely unfit for a 1.8-meter boy, but it is precisely because of his excellent height that the bright red skirt Rubbing against the skin made the two legs more attractive, one knee hit the other knee, and even the standing posture was unnaturally shy.

Cheng Yan's face was flushed, and his arms gently hugged the other arm, as if protecting his body, or blocking the scenery under the suspenders. He didn't have long flowing hair to match this skirt, but it was also because In this way, Song Yu could clearly see every subtle shy expression on his face.

"What is this for?" He looked down at the embroidered shoes on his feet, and the emotion in his eyes became more intense.

"Does it look good?" Cheng Yan raised his head and was held by Song Yu's arm. The two hid behind the wall, his back pressed against the wall, and asked unconfidently.

Song Yu answered the wrong question: "Why do you want to do this?"

Why are you wearing this outfit?Why learn from Tan Tingting?Why do you make yourself like this?These are all questions, he can guess some, but he can't believe that a boy is willing to do this for him.

"I don't want you to see red and think of unhappy things. I want you to think of me. I want you to see red that excites you. What you think of is not a curse, but me. Tan Tingting can't stay in your heart, can't influence Your life and state, when you see red, blood, sadness or excitement, you always think of me, okay?" Cheng Yan held Song Yu's arm and felt the bursting emotions, "Song Yu, tell me I... I am beautiful like this, you will remember."

You will remember the bright red skirt, the bright red embroidered shoes, and the color that excites you. It can only be me, and it can only be me when you think of it.

Song Yu held that tight waist and pressed it on Cheng Yan's shoulder, with a trembling voice: "You are really beautiful."

It was breathtakingly beautiful. It was the first time he saw such a beautiful red color, and he probably would never forget it in his life.

Cheng Yan smiled slightly and said sadly: "No matter what Tan Tingting said to you, you can't remember her, you can only remember me, you can't put others in your heart, and you can't be affected by others for so long. I will be jealous, I will be unhappy, miss me? When I can’t sleep, when I’m depressed, when I want to be violent, I miss me. It’s nothing to be afraid of. You see, red is beautiful, and it’s also on me Pretty, right?"

Song Yu closed his eyes and pinched that waist. He didn't know why Cheng Yan knew about it. Knowing how miserable he was tossed by that bloody scene during this period, he always felt that there was a lingering female ghost in red beside him. He always felt that Tan Tingting's curse had come true. He dreamed back in the middle of the night and woke up in the middle of the night, as if someone was whispering in his ear, trying to drag him into the abyss of loneliness.

Fortunately, fortunately, he has him by his side, fortunately, there is such a vigilant young man by his side, Song Yu's eyes are hot, the corners of his eyes are red, his pupils are dyed red by Cheng Yan's skirt, he is trying to ask for more, Take all your emotions out on him.

-

There was no one else in the meeting room at [-]:[-], and Cheng Yan's skirt, which was being carried up on the table, was lifted. Song Yu resisted the urge to tear up the bright red skirt, and just held his chin forcefully, forcing him to open his mouth.

"Open your mouth."

Cheng Yan opened his mouth and looked at Song Yu's red pupils that seemed to be dyed.

His tongue bumped into his lip cavity, Cheng Yan had no way out, hugging Song Yu tightly was his only support, the waist wrapped tightly by the skirt fell into Song Yu's palm, it doesn't matter if it hurts, compared to His current strong emotions, the pain in his waist is nothing.

Similar to the dream, but different from the dream, heavy panting echoed in the quiet room, the sling on Cheng Yan's shoulder slipped down and hung on his shoulder, charming is not a word to describe a boy, so what other words can replace it?to describe?He's such an alluring criminal.

"I think I will definitely have sexual violence against you," Song Yuqing's veins bulged, and his fingertips almost pinched into his flesh, "Don't lure me further, from now on."

He couldn't bear it anymore, the blood in his whole body was boiling, the clamoring instinct and emotion, trying to suppress Song Yu's last nerve line of defense.

"I am willing," Cheng Yan lay on his shoulder, squinting his eyes, a little confused, he held Song Yu's hand and went down his side, biting his clothes and moaning: "I am willing to satisfy you."

He wants to change the place where it hurts.

His waist was pinched so painfully.