Confession

By the time Lin Xu hurried over, it was almost eight o'clock, and there was a traffic jam during the evening rush hour. Normally, the 10-minute journey was stuck in traffic for almost half an hour.

Jiang Yang sat on the steps of the door with his head drooping, looking like an abandoned dog, he didn't look up when he saw Lin Xu coming, he was depressed.

Lin Xu apologized: "I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I overslept after I slept."

Jiang Yang felt as if he had been wronged, and said bitterly, "I showed it off to them in the afternoon... When Xing Xing saw my ring, I said I proposed to you, and my fiancé will come to pick me up in the afternoon."

"It turned out to be good for you, and you forgot about me at all." Jiang Yang was angry and helpless, and grabbed Lin Xu's face, "Lin Xu! Are you going too far! I am your fiance, how can you forget me ? I'm angry, the kind that can't be coaxed well."

He was angry as he spoke, but he didn't even try to pull his face.

Lin Xu was extremely guilty, took Jiang Yang's hand, and explained eagerly, "I didn't, I didn't forget. I overslept... Don't be angry, I will pick you up on time tomorrow, I'm sorry."

Jiang Yang still looked unhappy, and snorted, making it clear that he didn't want to eat this.

At this time, the author's advantage came out. Lin Xu ran through the "plot" in his mind for a while, sat next to Jiang Yang, ignored the crowd passing by, hooked his neck, and whispered: "Brother Yang."

Jiang Yang: "...don't call me that, I'm angry."

Lin Xu kissed Jiang Yang on the ear, and then called out again, "Husband."

"..." Jiang Yang's Adam's apple twitched.

"Don't be angry, I'll treat you to dinner tonight." Lin Xu shook Jiang Yang's arm, "Let's go to the night market, you can do whatever you want."

"You can do anything?" Jiang Yang had a straight face, but his mouth began to be serious, "What about you?"

Lin Xu blinked, reacted for two seconds, his ears turned red, and followed his words, "... yes."

"Anything is fine?" Jiang Yang continued to ask.

Lin Xu hummed.

"Is it okay to hold it on the window?" Jiang Yang asked solemnly, "Is it okay in front of the mirror? Is it okay in the study? And next to your computer."

These are the scenes where Lin Xu was shy and hadn't unlocked it yet. He was a bit conservative in his bones, and he was embarrassed about places other than the bed.

Although he listened to Jiang Yang's words very much in bed, every time Jiang Yang mentioned going to other places, even his toes would turn red.

Jiang Yang saw his shyness and couldn't bear to bully him, but he just fucked harder each time.

Speaking of this in public, Lin Xu glanced around guiltily, his earlobe was hot, he had never been so thankful that he had long hair, which could barely cover his traces of embarrassment.

Seeing that Lin Xu didn't speak, Jiang Yang didn't say anything, and waited patiently for Lin Xu's reaction.

Lin Xu pursed his lips and said in a low voice, "If I can calm you down...it's fine."

"Really?" Jiang Yang asked.

Lin Xu hummed, "Just... don't sit by the computer for too long, I'm afraid I'll think about this when I sit in front of the computer in the future."

Jiang Yang laughed and kissed Lin Xu hard.

Why is his boyfriend so cute? It's hard to bully him.

Seeing that he was willing to kiss her, Lin Xu breathed a sigh of relief, raised her eyes and asked, "Are you still angry?"

"Angry," Jiang Yang helped Lin Xu straighten the hair on his face, "I have to do this to stop being angry."

Lin Xu knew that Jiang Yang was not angry anymore, so he kissed the corner of his mouth, "Don't be angry, don't sit here, the benefactor will take you to the night market and spend whatever you want."

Jiang Yang laughed, "Oh, should I thank the patron's father for his favor?"

"You don't have to thank me," Lin Xu stuffed Jiang Yang into the car, "This is voluntary by the patron's father!"

The night market was crowded and it was difficult to park. Lin Xu parked his car in a nearby parking lot and dragged Jiang Yang over.

They were tall and long-legged, with outstanding looks, and attracted the attention of many people along the way.

Jiang Yang didn't care. Lin Xu checked the ranking of snacks on his mobile phone, but he didn't pay attention.

Just like this, they walked across the main road with their fingers clasped together, loving each other calmly in the colorful night and curious eyes.

"I want to eat fried mochi," Lin Xu said, staring at the phone, "It's ranked first, it's said to be very popular."

The night market has not been open for a long time, and it quickly became popular on the Internet, and there is an endless stream of people going there. A large part of the reason is that there are many authentic foreign snacks.

Lin Xu knows fried mochi. He wrote an article about food before. The protagonist is a person who travels out of town all the year round. Every time he goes to a place, he will learn all the local delicacies. He has searched a lot of food from various places on the Internet. I often write myself hungry.

This is one of the delicacies he particularly wants to try. Mochi is wrapped in eggs and fried, then stir-fried in a pan. It looks very soft and glutinous in the video, and it can also be drawn.

"What is Fried Mochi?" Jiang Yang had never heard of it before, "Is it Ciba?"

"It is fried with this." Lin Xu explained: "It is a snack in Changhai City. There are also embedded cakes, plum cakes, fried meat balls and sweet potato balls. There are many things from Changhai City here. Let's try them all. "

Lin Xu had a good time on this journey, many things that Jiang Yang had never heard of, Lin Xu introduced him one by one.

There are many people in the night market, and the snack street is even more crowded, brightly lit, mixed with various strong aromas in the air, among which the smell of barbecue is the most obvious, smoky, and many people surround the door of every small shop.

The night market enjoys such a lively atmosphere. At first, Jiang Yang was worried that Lin Xu would not be used to it. Later, when he saw that he was only thinking about food, he dragged him to line up in front of various stalls. After getting the food, his eyes lit up. I tasted the fried mochi in small sips, it was sticky and glutinous, and I smiled after watching the drawing, very satisfied and well-behaved.

Jiang Yang took out a tissue to help him wipe his mouth, "I didn't realize it before, so you are a foodie."

"It's okay, just because I wrote about this food, so I want to try it," Lin Xu brought the fried mochi to his mouth, "Try it too, I think it's good, it didn't disappoint me."

Jiang Yang took a sip, "It's okay."

Seeing that his reaction was flat, Lin Xu asked, "Don't you like it?"

"I don't like the texture, it's sticky."

Lin Xu snorted, holding the box, "Then I'll eat it myself, and you can help me buy sweet potato balls."

Jiang Yang raised his eyebrows, "Have I become an errand runner?"

Lin Xu ate until his mouth was bright, and smiled, "Go, I want to eat."

Jiang Yang couldn't bear Lin Xu's acting like a baby, but this person didn't know how to act like a baby. Once Lin Xu lowered his tone and spoke softly, Jiang Yang lost all principles, like a fool who only knows how to spoil his concubine. Xu is what he says.

Jiang Yang handed the tissue to Lin Xu, and helped him tuck his hair behind his ears so that he could eat, "Then you wait here for me, don't run around."

Lin Xu nodded.

After this incident, as long as he was with Jiang Yang, Lin Xu basically didn't bring his mobile phone.

In the past, I never left my mobile phone, as if I was cut off from the world without my mobile phone, but after getting used to it, I calmed down, and I didn’t want to go to information all the time, and I didn’t want to pay attention to things that had nothing to do with me.

Before coming to the night market, Lin Xu coaxed Jiang Yang with nice words, promising to buy whatever he wanted after arriving here.As a result, after arriving here, the roles were reversed, and Jiang Yang became the one who ran errands all night.

The night market had just opened, and the portion of each snack was very large. Lin Xu had a small appetite and couldn't eat it. He just tasted each item, and then handed it over to Jiang Yang.

After one night, Jiang Yang ate very full, and said a little depressed: "I kind of know why many people gain weight when they fall in love."

If I eat this way every day, can I not gain weight?

Lin Xu's attention was all on eating, he didn't pay attention to what Jiang Yang said, handed Jiang Yang the half-eaten jelly in his hand, and went to buy something else.

Jiang Yang: "..."

They walked home that night, because Jiang Yang was unbearable, blowing the cool evening wind after autumn, along the riverside to digest food.

Lin Xu laughed at him: "Your fighting ability is too bad."

Jiang Yang was dissatisfied: "Who will stop eating after a few bites?"

Lin Xu pretended to be stupid, "It's definitely not me."

"I won't recognize anyone after I've used up my stomach, right?" Jiang Yang said, "Xu Xu, you're acting like a scumbag!"

Lin Xu suggested: "Exercising will be fine."

Jiang Yang wanted to continue complaining, but he choked for a moment when he heard the words, and said meaningfully: "That's right, just exercise, so hurry home and exercise."

"..." Lin Xu blushed, and asked helplessly, "Why do you always think about such things?"

"Why don't you want to?" Jiang Yang wondered instead, "The person you like is right in front of you, how can you show that I love you if you don't do this kind of thing? I actually put it into action."

Lin Xu felt amused and helpless when he heard the smug tone, "Then when I was sick a while ago, did you have a hard time?"

"It's not too difficult," Jiang Yang said, "You were in such a bad state at that time, I was thinking about how to make you happy all day long, and I didn't have time to think about those things."

Lin Xu looked at him, the young man's silhouette was sharp and handsome like a knife, deep and three-dimensional, such an outstanding and handsome man was included in his pocket, Lin Xu felt a sense of pride.

——Happiness cannot be described in words when a secret love comes true.

Lin Xu felt that he was lucky, he had Jiang Yang, and got this love that he coveted for a long time and dared not ask for.

When the wind picked up, Jiang Yang wrapped his arms around Lin Xu's shoulders to shield him, and said in a low voice, "So you have to make it up to me right now."

The warm atmosphere was completely ruined by his yellow accent, Lin Xu smiled helplessly, "Jiang Yang, you are not romantic anymore."

"Why is it not romantic anymore? Is sex/love not romantic? Combining with your lover is not romantic..."

Lin Xu covered his mouth and said shyly, "Stop talking."

It's fine to say these words in private, how can you put them on your lips in public.

Jiang Yang stopped and pushed him against the railing to kiss.

The river was surging, and the evening wind carried moist water vapor over the tip of their tongues. The noisy crowd went away, and the people in their arms were alive and hot, exchanging the taste of the red bean cake they had just eaten.

Lin Xu was immersed in this kiss, he couldn't help holding Jiang Yang's windbreaker with both hands, feeling the clean and hot breath of the young man, his two tongues entangled slowly, time seemed to be stretched infinitely, the moonlight was bright and clear, and the wind gentle.

After kissing for several minutes, Jiang Yang let Lin Xu go, licked off the water stains from the corner of Yin Hong's mouth, and chuckled, "Look, isn't romance here?"

"Kissing by the river is considered romantic?" Lin Xu's lips were wet and shiny, and his eyes were twinkling.

Jiang Yang: "Why doesn't it count?"

"Perfunctory." Lin Xu stroked Jiang Yang's chin, "If it's romantic, at least there should be fireworks or something."

"Okay," Jiang Yang said with a smile, "I'll set it off for you next time, and let Xuxu's fireworks bloom all over the river."

"What I ask for won't have any romantic effect." Lin Xu pushed the person away and walked forward.

Jiang Yang hurried to catch up, put his arms around Lin Xu and kissed him, teasingly said: "So you expect me to give you romance so much?"

Lin Xu: "Not at all."

"Really do not have?"

"No, you're annoying."

Jiang Yang curled his lips, "Xu Xu, your temper is so good that you are soft even when you curse, making people want to bully you."

"That's just for you." Lin Xu said, "Don't take advantage of it and act like a good boy."

Jiang Yang laughed: "Xu Xu, let's go home quickly, I want to bully you."

"Did you forget?" Lin Xu reminded, "You can't sweat with tattoos."

"..." Jiang Yang said resolutely, like waking up from a dream, "Didn't you also do it yesterday?"

"That's because of the repair cream." Lin Xu said, "Didn't you sweat after doing it last night? What if it affects the color?"

"...Then... You said before that I can do whatever I want!"

Lin Xu blinked innocently, "I didn't say tonight."

Jiang Yang was frustrated: "..."

Lin Xu really learned badly, and now he can draw cakes.

Jiang Yang looked unhappy, didn't say anything, and didn't hold Lin Xu's hand.

Lin Xu couldn't help laughing, "What a grown-up, why are you getting angry."

Jiang Yang: "You clearly promised me!"

"Yes, but what if sweating affects the tattoo?" Lin Xu asked, "You must take a shower after finishing it, and don't get wet."

Jiang Yang drooped his ears like a big dog, reluctantly.

Lin Xu went to pinch Jiang Yang's face, "Wait until the tattoo recovers."

Jiang Yang muttered in a low voice: "I've been looking forward to tonight."

He looked like a child who couldn't get a toy, dared to be angry but didn't speak up, and swallowed his distress in his stomach with aggrievedness.

Lin Xu kissed Jiang Yang's face reassuringly, took his hand and continued to walk forward, changing the subject: "Jiang Yang, today I..."

"Don't change the subject," Jiang Yang saw through his thoughts and insisted on holding on to this, "I said to make up for me before, but in the end it was to paint a cake for me. I was happy all night. If you don't give me an explanation, this matter will make life difficult! "

Lin Xu didn't know what to do. After thinking about it seriously, his eyes flickered slightly, and he whispered, "Then I... go back and give it to you."

"That's what you said." Jiang Yang said leisurely.

Lin Xu blushed and nodded, "Yes, I said so."

After returning home, Jiang Yang took Lin Xu and went straight to the bedroom. Half an hour later, Jiang Yang came out to pour water, with a satisfied and satisfied expression.

Lin Xu was lying on his side on the bed, his face was flushed, his lower body was naked, and he was breathing rapidly with his eyes closed.

Jiang Yang entered the room and helped Lin Xu up, and poured water to his mouth.

Lin Xu's throat was dry and sore, he couldn't wait to drink two big gulps, and coughed because he was too anxious.

"Slow down, no one will grab you." Jiang Yang helped him wipe off the water from the corner of his mouth, and said softly.

After Lin Xu finished drinking, he took a breath and said in a fit of anger, "I won't do it in the future."

"Okay, if you don't do it, don't do it." Jiang Yang smiled, and sucked another mouthful on Lin Xu's neck, "Sleep? Xu Xu has worked hard."

Lin Xu lay on the bed with his back to him, this silent protest didn't last long, Jiang Yang put on his pajamas and hugged him forcefully from behind, his chest against his back, there was no gap between them.

"It's a bit hot." Lin Xu said sullenly, his voice a little hoarse.

Seeing that he was unwilling to turn around, Jiang Yang deliberately said, "Oh, well, I won't hug you anymore."

"...!" Lin Xu turned over and bit Jiang Yang angrily, "You are so annoying."

"Didn't you say it was hot?"

Lin Xu curled his lips and said angrily, "Turn on the air conditioner."

Jiang Yang smiled and hugged him in his arms, "Okay, I won't tease you anymore, I made a mistake today, okay? I shouldn't have messed with you..."

"Shut up!" Lin Xu's face, which had been so hard to get rid of, surged up again, "I'm going to be angry."

Jiang Yang shut up resolutely, "Okay, shut up and stop talking."

Lin Xu buried his face in Jiang Yang's chest, his ears were blushing, and the air conditioner couldn't dispel his shameful heat.

Jiang Yang patted Lin Xu's back with one hand, stroked and kneaded his bare thigh with the other, and changed the subject, "What are you going to do tomorrow? Go find Yang Xiaoling again?"

Lin Xu shook his head, "No, stay at home."

Jiang Yang asked: "Won't it be boring?"

"Boring," Lin Xu said, "so I want to find something for myself to do."

"Ok?"

Lin Xu raised his head, his cheeks were still red, his thoughts were led away by Jiang Yang, and he quickly forgot the shame just now, "I want to retake the college entrance examination."

Jiang Yang was slightly stunned, surprised by the answer.

Lin Xu changed into a comfortable position and lay in Jiang Yang's arms, "I didn't finish college. I dropped out of school because of cyberbullying and the death of my parents. Later, I was diagnosed with depression and couldn't continue to study, so I simply dropped out. "

He played with Jiang Yang's hand and said calmly, "Now that everything is settled, I don't want to touch writing for a short time, so I just think about finishing my studies."

Having said all this, Jiang Yang remained silent, Lin Xu looked at the young man: "What do you think?"

Jiang Yang's eyes were dark, he stared at the beautiful man in his arms, and kissed his forehead, "I think it's fine."

"Xuxu." Jiang Yang continued, "Dr. Zhao said that your depression has not fully recovered, and you still need to cooperate with drug treatment. I have been worried that you are depressed and listless. I am very happy that you can plan your future like this."

He hugged Lin Xu tightly in his arms, lovingly and tenderly kissing him.

Gently kissing Lin Xu's eyelids, he half-closed his eyes, and raised his head submissively, "With you here, I will no longer complain about myself. Since five years ago, you have always been my light, my little sun. "

Lin Xu pulled Jiang Yang's neckline, and kissed the tattoo under the collarbone.

Jiang Yang felt an itch like a feather scratching from his reddened skin, and a weak tunnel current numb all the way to the bottom of his heart.

"Jiang Yang, I love you, so I will love myself too," Lin Xu said earnestly, holding the young handsome face, "I hate to see you sad, I will live a good life for you, and work hard to make you happy. I I want to be with you all the time, and I want to hold the sunshine tightly in my hand."

Jiang Yang didn't speak. After staring deeply for a moment, he fixed Lin Xu's head and kissed him ferociously.

Lin Xu responded to his kiss, his eyelashes were wet, and a tear fell down his face.

The tide rises and falls, the moonlight is salvaged and washed out of pure luster, and the Milky Way falls, emitting bright starlight in the boundless darkness.

——Not all darkness is a man-eating demon.

All the dark days are over, and the days to come are only happiness and sweetness.

The wind and rain have subsided, the rainbow is beginning to appear, and what greets them is the endless summer that is enough to dispel the depression.

【End of text】

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It's over, there will be a postscript~

postscript

Thank you for your hard work in the past three months!bow.

It started on May 5st and ended on August 1st. I have mixed feelings. First of all, the inspiration for this book came from when I was writing "Drawing the Light". I kept seeing some very popular radio dramas on the audio, and suddenly thought: How about writing a story about the cv and the author.

At that time, I just wanted to write a sweet story, but then I suffered the first controversy and abuse since I wrote the article, saying that my plot is mentally retarded, my writing is rubbish, and my logic is full of loopholes. These are actually nothing, which makes people sad The most important thing is the attitude of the readers --- fierce words, angry tone, slamming words, and even private messages to greet my family... It makes me feel so miserable that the stories I write are worthless and just create a pile of garbage Word.

When I went through this, I started to pay attention to other writers in the literary circle.

The author friends I know have experienced even worse things, and basically they have been plagiarized with empty words. Plagiarism is a very serious matter for the author, and it is a lightning strike that directly penetrates the soul.Because the plot and characters were not satisfied with the readers, some authors were able to persist in going on, but there are also countless authors who were forced to withdraw from the circle, quit the Internet, and were depressed. They could not fight back or delete comments, otherwise they would be regarded as glass-hearted.

It may be just a fluffy sentence to the reader, but it is a great harm to the author.

To explain, the meaning of saying this is not to prevent or not allow you to express your opinions and feelings, but if you really don’t like a book, you can just quit it without wasting your time typing a bunch of words. There is no need to receive a malicious letter.

So then my definition of this book changed. I wanted to make it a little more in-depth. The current Internet environment is so hostile. I wanted to present this state and put this malice in front of everyone.

Everyone has seen Xu Xu's state. He represents not only the authors who have been abused, but all the people who have experienced cyber violence, and even me.

Some readers should know that this article was originally called "Miaobi Shenghua", but it was changed to "Shengsheng Baibai" before the article was opened.

I have thought about this name for a long time, and I want to express Jiang Yang's voice for Lin Xu during the recording of the radio drama, expressing his grievances and pain accumulated over the years in another way. (I am very touched that you understand this meaning, especially when readers praise you for choosing names with your heart. I really feel the joy of soul resonance (in fact, every time you choose a name, it is a headache))

Not only that, but I also want to express myself through Xu Xu, and let the characters reveal my inner world.

Now in this era of fast information, with all due respect, what you may see is only the surface of many things, and what is presented must be the whole truth?Just like in the plot, everyone said that Mo Zhiyan plagiarized five years ago. If you didn't stand in the perspective of God, would you step on it?

I hope everyone will remain rational at all times, because in this virtual online world, killing is really invisible, and spittle stars gather into black water, which is enough to swallow beasts.

I mixed a lot of selfishness into this book. I broke up with my best friend, my dog ​​died, and was abused by readers. I have experienced all of these, so I also brought a part of myself into it when I wrote it. Crying, emotional breakdown——crying for myself, crying for data, crying for Xuxu, crying for Lele, crying for the friendship that is gone forever.

The outline has been changed many times. In the original setting, the dog grew up with Lin Xu and died five years ago. After Lin Xu and Jiang Yang got along with each other because of insecurity and suspicion, they had many quarrels. Jiang Yang He offered to keep the two of them quiet, and then because of the plagiarism incident, Jiang Yang took the initiative to find him again.

After thinking about it for a long time, I felt that it was not suitable.

If the dog was the character who accompanied Lin Xu growing up, then who would accompany him during his most painful five years?If Jiang Yang proposes to break up, the reunion will indeed add some sourness, but Lin Xu can't stand it, Jiang Yang is his dependence and sustenance to him, he survived five years ago by relying on Jiang Yang, and losing everything again, Lin Xu really Some will go crazy, and even the determination to die will be stronger than five years ago.

Everyone hates Guo Shule, and so do I. He is completely the dark side of human nature. Is there no such person in the three-dimensional world?On the contrary, he really exists, disguised in human skin in the crowd, and when you let go of your guard and show your sincerity, he will strike you hard again.

I’m not saying that everyone should not trust their friends, but even friends who have been friends for more than ten or twenty years will have cases of falling out and losing contact with each other. Everyone should stay vigilant and hope that you will never encounter such similar things.

The first half of Lin Xu's life has been on the way of having and losing. Five years ago he lost his friends, parents and the name "Mo Zhiyan", but he got Lele and the glory of "Xu Tian" in the next five years; after that he lost Lost Lele, lost "Xu Tian", but gained Jiang Yang, also gained the truth.

——This is the state of life I want to present. If there is a loss, there will be a gain. There is no eternal thing. Go with the flow. These are the scenery on the road. Good and bad, good and bad, good and bad are all destined, and there is no need to worry about the troubles in front of you , being happy is the most important thing, and loving yourself is the most important thing.

I want to express that depression is really a very serious matter. Is it hypocritical, nor does it mean that you can get out of it if you walk away.It needs to be understood and understood. Maybe the trivial things in our eyes will be infinitely magnified by them.

"Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance", these are the words of the poet Wilde, which Jiang Yang gave to Lin Xu, and what I want to give to you.

Life is not a novel. Not everyone can have their own sun like Lin Xu. If you can't get what you want, then let yourself be the sun. You can be depressed, sad, or fall into darkness for a short time.

But remember, the sun rises every day, and the sun is waiting for you as expected.

"Xu" and "Yang" are both suns. I hope this book can reflect on yourself and encourage you, and it can also warm you.

As of today's end, the performance of this work is not very good, and not many people have watched it. I know the reason. Everyone is looking for sweet love in Two-dimensional and avoiding the bitterness of reality. Naturally, they don't like the plot abuse.

So I am especially grateful to the readers who followed the article all the way to the end, and thank you readers who left comments on every chapter from the beginning to the end.

I need you and love you more.

You not only accompanied Xu Xu, witnessed him letting go of the past, coming from darkness to light, but also accompanied me.Maybe comments are just a matter of moving your fingers for you, but for me it is strength and encouragement.

Alright, it’s almost here. Although the main text is over, tomorrow will continue with extra episodes and daily updates. There will probably be three, four, five or six articles. Guo Shule’s ending will be mentioned in it, and then it will be completely over.

After the extra episode is over, "Accidentally Falling into the Net" will be updated. It is a story about the reunion of a straight man and his little mother Ling. You can check it out in the column~

Because the three-dimensional is busy, the update frequency is every other day.Ask for a favorite for the new article, I really need everyone's support (poor begging)

Finally, thank you for your company, thank you for meeting, and see you in the next chapter.

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