Confession

When Jiang Yang rushed home, it was Yang Xiaoling who opened the door. He stood at the door panting, not daring to speak rashly, and asked Lin Xu's situation with his eyes.

Yang Xiaoling looked serious, and said in a low voice, "It's not good. When I came, he was lying on the bed, and he didn't respond when I called him. It's been so long now, and he hasn't said a word. It's exactly the same as before."

Sweat dripped from Jiang Yang's forehead, he was still panting, his eyes condensed into a bottomless pool.

"Back then, he was lying in the bathtub covered in blood. I was terrified. He had more than ten stitches on his wrist," Yang Xiaoling said with lingering fear. "You should accompany him this time, and you must not leave him alone."

Jiang Yang nodded, his voice hoarse, "I understand."

Yang Xiaoling was about to leave when he suddenly remembered something and asked, "I didn't see Lele when I came here. Where's the dog? With him around, Xiao Xu's attention should be distracted."

"..." Jiang Yang took a deep breath, and said every word with great difficulty, "It's gone."

Yang Xiaoling was stunned, his eyes widened in disbelief.

"I received a call from the pet hospital on the way back." Jiang Yang leaned tiredly against the wall, his eyes darkened, and the pain between his brows and eyes was hard to hide. "It died in a car accident. It died when Lin Xu took it to the hospital yesterday. I'm out of breath."

"How could this be..." Yang Xiaoling covered his mouth, tears streaming down his face, and his voice trembled, "No wonder...it was like this when his parents were gone. He was bored alone, neither eating nor drinking nor sleeping. Same."

Lin Xu is a person who doesn't want to vent his emotions unrestrainedly. When something happens, he suffers alone, even if he is about to collapse, he rarely confides a word to outsiders.

That's why Lin Xu got hurt so much when Yang Xiaoling said unscrupulously that Lin Xu vented his negative emotions to him.

Lin Xu experienced the betrayal of friends, cyber violence, and the death of his parents. From the beginning to the end, he digested these things by himself from the beginning to the end. The only time he couldn't hold back to tell his parents, the result was the news of their death.

So Lin Xu was afraid, afraid that speaking out would hurt others and cause an irreparable situation.

He became autistic and silent, suffering alone in a closed and suffocating space, tortured himself almost like masochistic, gave up struggling, and was trampled on like a pool of mud, scattered with the wind in the desolate and sad world, and completely disappeared .

Lin Xu was used to forbearance, and was used to carrying heavy shackles alone. The shackles locked him in an abyss where there was no light from the sky. All that fell from the sky was black rain, which polluted his originally clean face.

"Jiang Yang," Yang Xiaoling said to him before he left, "if Lin Xu doesn't respond to what you say later, don't be discouraged, you must keep talking to him. Last time he survived by relying on you, With you here this time, I believe he will be braver than he was five years ago."

Jiang Yang didn't understand why Lin Xu survived by relying on him, but now is not the time to worry about it.

After Yang Xiaoling left, Jiang Yang pushed open the bedroom door and saw Lin Xu curled up on the bed.

It's just that they haven't seen each other for three days. Lin Xu has lost a lot of weight, and the sensuality that he has finally recovered is gone. His eyes are dull and dull, like a rag doll that has lost its soul. It seems that it can't even breathe, decadent and depressed, and loses vitality.

Jiang Yang just glanced at it, and felt an indescribable pain in his heart, which made it difficult for him to breathe and walk.

He walked over with light steps, squatted down beside the bed, gently stroked Lin Xu's face, lowered his head to touch Lin Xu's forehead, and whispered: "Xu Xu, I'm back."

Lin Xu didn't respond, he didn't even blink his eyes, he was dull and stiff.

Even though it was summer, his body was very cold, his skin was pale, as if he was in an ice cellar, and his lips were bloodless.

"I know you are suffering, it's okay, leave it to me, leave everything to me, okay?" Jiang Yang's voice was softer than ever. He tried his best to control his breath so that his voice sounded the same as usual, but no matter what Forbearance still revealed a trace of panic.

"Xuxu, with me here, we will face everything." Jiang Yang said, "I am no longer alone, you have me, and I will accompany you."

silence.

"Do you know that you scare me?" Jiang Yang kissed Lin Xu's eyes lovingly, hugged him in his arms, and tried to warm up his ice-like body, "No text messages, no calls , I'm really afraid that something will happen to you."

Still silent.

"Lin Xu, don't be like this, what should I do if something happened to you?" Jiang Yang paused, his breath was heavy, his voice was obviously choked, and his hand lost strength, it was the strength to integrate Lin Xu into his flesh and blood, "I know you are very Sad, but Xuxu, you still have me, can you please take care of me? I am so scared when you are like this, if you lose Lele, will you also make me lose you? Can you talk to me? Xuxu, please take care of me... ..."

Lin Xu's body was cold, which was not the temperature that normal people would have.

Although Jiang Yang could feel Lin Xu's heartbeat while hugging him, the cold touch made him unbearably panicked.

It seems that what is being held is not a person, but a corpse.

Lele was gone, and Lin Xu's heart also died, leaving only a body.

Jiang Yang's voice trembled, from whispering to begging, and finally incoherent.

He kept rubbing Lin Xu's body, trying to warm him up with his own body temperature.

Jiang Yang was at a loss in the face of Lin Xu like this, so he could only follow Yang Xiaoling's instructions and keep talking in his ear, trying to wake him up.

The kisses repeatedly landed on Lin Xu's forehead, cheeks, nose tip and lips.

Jiang Yang's lips were very hot, whispers were heard intermittently in the kiss, a hot tear fell on Lin Xu's cheek, the grief love mixed with endless pity, penetrated into Lin Xu's cold skin.

Tears slid down his face, leaving a faint trace of tears on Lin Xu's face.

A ray of hot temperature penetrated into the body, went against the trend in the torrent full of cold and frost, stubbornly and tenaciously maintained the spark-like light, poured into Lin Xu's dead heart at the last moment when he was about to be swallowed by darkness.

After a while, Lin Xu's fingers moved, and his empty eyes showed a little imperceptible expression. His senses and consciousness gradually returned, his eyes focused, and his eyes felt the brilliance.

Boom——boom——

Mars ignited the veins, and the beating frequency of the chest gradually increased, causing the blood to warm up. The ice and snow covering the heart began to melt, and the blood dripped, revealing a heart dripping with blood.

Lin Xu's lips moved, and he said dryly, "Jiang Yang..."

Jiang Yang paused, and immediately raised his head to look at Lin Xu, with teardrops hanging from his eyelashes and bloodshot eyes, he eagerly agreed, "I'm here, Lin Xu is here."

Lin Xu stared at Jiang Yang's sad face, his eyes were filled with steam, "You're back..."

"Well, I'm back." Jiang Yang hugged Lin Xu vigorously, "I know everything, don't be afraid, you have me, I will be with you. Don't be afraid Xu Xu, everything will be fine."

Lin Xu's nose was sore, and the image of Lele falling to the ground repeatedly flashed before his eyes, and the dull pain in his chest spread all over his body, like Ling Chi.

"Jiang Yang..." Lin Xu raised his hand to grab Jiang Yang's arm, clutching at the only life-saving straw, and endured the tears that burst out all night, "Lele is gone..."

Jiang Yang pursed his lips, and said in a shy voice, "I know."

His throat was congested, with strong regret and vibrato, and he screamed helplessly, "Lele... Lele is gone, my Lele is gone..."

"I know...I know." Jiang Yang comforted Lin Xu, watching him break down like a knife hurts his heart.

Lin Xu cried heart-rendingly, and the emotions that had been suppressed for a long time erupted violently. His whole body fell into a kind of desperate madness, and his hoarse voice was full of heartbreaking hopelessness.

"Lele, my Lele..." Lin Xu was trembling violently, his whole body was in pain, the air in his lungs was crushed into pieces, like a knife cutting through his internal organs, thick blood was constantly bubbling up, "Jiang Yang, it's me...it's all because of me! Why did you take it out? I killed it, I killed it!"

"No, you didn't," Jiang Yang choked up, holding Lin Xu's hand hard, trying to give him strength, "Don't think like that, you didn't kill Lele."

"It's me...it's really me..." Lin Xu recalled everything yesterday, and every frame of the picture was clearly imprinted in his memory, and every second was painful to the bone, "It's me I wanted to buy water, but I forgot to take it when I came out, and it just rushed across the road..."

Lin Xu burst into tears, and asked hysterically: "Jiang Yang...what to do, I killed Lele...it died in my arms, I watched it die, but there was nothing I could do...I couldn't save it ..."

He buried his face in Jiang Yang's shoulder and screamed in a low voice. He seemed to be asking Jiang Yang, but he was actually questioning himself.

Lele died in Lin Xu's arms. Lin Xu watched it lose its breath, its heart stopped beating, and it gradually became stiff while lying on his lap.

Lele's eyes lost their brilliance little by little, turning into a dull glass ball, unable to close their eyelids anymore, and could only "stare" at a certain place stiffly, ending the short five years of being with Lin Xu.

The death of life is like a quicksand that cannot be grasped, and there is nothing you can do about it.

To Lin Xu, Lele is not just a dog.

It appeared in Lin Xu's most chaotic and worst days, and accompanied him through countless bad and dark times.

It will lie quietly at Lin Xu's feet and accompany him to type.

It will rush over to greet its master as soon as Lin Xu returns home.

It means that no matter how disgusted and scolded Lin Xu is, he will never abandon his family.

No matter where Lin Xu was, as long as he called out "Lele", it would rush over and look at him eagerly, stick out its tongue and smile at him, wagging its tail obediently, waiting for Lin Xu's next order.

The dog's world is pure and warm, and its eyes are always sincere and clean. After recognizing the owner, it will offer a lifetime of loyalty and joy.

Lin Xu was sobbing so hard that he almost fainted.

He couldn't see Jiang Yang's face clearly, nor could he hear the other person's words. He was completely immersed in endless self-blame, his mind was confused, and the severe pain in his cerebral cortex made him unable to stop his intense emotions.

Sure enough, nothing has changed.

He couldn't change the death of his parents five years ago, and he couldn't stop Lele from leaving five years later.

The same exposure, the same death, the same collapse.

Lin Xu felt that he should have died long ago.

Died in the sewage that kept spraying at him.

Died in a car accident where even the bones of his parents were not found.

Died at dusk when Lele died in his arms.

·

Lin Xu passed out from crying in the end. The great grief exhausted him. He had a long and deep sleep and dreamed as usual.

It's just that this time it's not a nightmare, but a dream of the scene when I just carried Lele home.

At that time, it was just a three-month-old pup, but it was easy to raise. Lin Xu never worried about it, and he learned to pee and defecate after only two days.

At that time, Lin Xu's depression had just improved, and he was still not interested in many things. The addition of a little guy in the family really distracted him, and he didn't let him fall into a low mood all the time, so he got a little energy Keep an eye on it for messes.

"Don't you give it a name?" Zhao Xiwen asked when he came to see the dog at his house.

"I don't know." Lin Xu sat on the ground sleepily, stroking the puppy's head, "I have no idea."

"How about calling it Lele? Happy Le." Zhao Xiwen squatted down, his voice mellow, "I hope its appearance can bring you happiness."

"Lele..."

Lin Xu murmured, tears rolled down the corner of his eyes, and he opened them from sleep.

He looked at the ceiling quietly for a while, sat up from the bed and looked around, the layout and furnishings in the room were familiar to him, Jiang Yang's coat and mobile phone were placed on the bed, and the breath of Jiang Yang's presence remained in the air .

Nothing seemed to have changed, as if it was just a dream.

Lin Xu's head went blank, it was due to the dullness caused by exhaustion of energy. He looked at the half-closed door, his eyes were empty, and he opened his mouth and shouted: "Lele."

There was silence and no response.

Lin Xu threw off the quilt and got out of bed. The moment he stood up, he was so dizzy that he almost fell down. He supported the wall for a long time before he managed to stand still.

He opened the door and went out, the living room was quiet, there was no sound at all.

Lin Xu moved slowly, walked towards the center of the living room, looked blankly at the house that he had lived in for many years, and called again: "Lele."

The house is quiet, only the sound of the wind blowing the curtains.

When Jiang Yang came back with his things, he saw Lin Xu standing in the living room at a loss, as if he was waiting for something and looking for something, he was dazed and didn't respond when he saw him come back.

"You're awake." Jiang Yang hurriedly put down his things and walked over, "How do you feel? Are you okay?"

Lin Xu looked at Jiang Yang quietly, and asked, "Where's Lele?"

"..." Jiang Yang's breathing stopped, his eyes darkened, and the hand holding Lin Xu's arm tightened silently.

Lin Xu looked at Lele's kennel, it was empty inside, and his voice was so soft that it was almost blown away by the wind, "I've been looking for it for a long time, but it won't come out."

"Jiang Yang," Lin Xu clutched the corner of Jiang Yang's clothes, his expression was still calm, but his face was already full of tears, "Will you accompany me to find Lele? I miss it...I miss it so much..."

Jiang Yang hugged him tightly, closed his eyes to hide the grief in his eyes, and said in a deep voice, "Okay, I will accompany you to find Lele."

The dusk slanted, and the house was full of sorrow and sorrow.