Xiu Erdai's daily essays

08812-Heart Demon Tribulation

The two fought for a while.It can be seen that in terms of actual combat experience, senior Shao is indeed better than my mother, and senior Shao's attack methods are even more disregarding of his own safety, repeatedly using moves that hurt the enemy eight hundred and self-defeating one thousand.My mother didn't want to go crazy with her at the beginning, she just wanted to suppress Senior Shao's arrogance, but failed, so she had no choice but to get serious.A sword crossed Senior Shao's neck, almost beheading her, but at the same time, Senior Shao almost cut my mother's face in half.

In the end, neither of the two could please, and they gradually separated when they were both tired. One flew back to Huanzong, and the other went to Shuixi City.

Afterwards, my mother is recuperating, adjusting her mentality, returning to a normal rhythm of life, falling in love with male gods, conceiving couples, having children, and dying; while Senior Shao is recuperating in Shuixi City, entering the Gu pool, and staying until conceiving a baby. , out of the Gu pool, saw me, and learned that my mother was dead.

My mother said in the jade slips left to me: "Shao You and I have never had any principled conflicts. From the beginning to the end, we just have some differences in ideas. Under normal circumstances, the relationship between me and her has faded at most, even if we fight. It should also be done to the end, so as not to kill the opponent. But in the state of the heart demon, it is a completely different matter."

My mother: "At that time, not only was Shao You's Jindan peak mental demon catastrophe serious, but I, who had just entered the Yuanying stage, was still a little bit flustered. Her mood was depressed, and mine was complacent. Self-abased versus superior, of course. Something will happen."

My mother: "Actually, I'm not sure if Shao You is jealous of me. Maybe she's not sure herself. Maybe she just thinks that I'm unmotivated, lazy, and not in the same league as her. But I'm sure I At that time, when I faced her, I had some sense of superiority. I felt that I was about the same age as her. She can't run out of money, and she doesn't even have a few clothes to change..."

My mother: "These feelings of superiority are not serious, and they are not malicious. At least I have never thought of using Shaoyou as a green leaf to complement my beauty--I have made this idea with Feng Xuanpo, and Feng Xuanpo has feelings for me too." After thinking about it, the plastic feeling between Feng Xuanpo and I is much heavier than that of Shao You - but Shao You in the heart demon period can be seriously affected by even elves, so he must have sensed my subtle emotions, which also stimulated me. It made her dislike of me swell."

08813 - vague perception

My mother: "It's not a matter of who is right and who is wrong. It's not a matter of right and wrong. Don't think about it from that perspective. The reason why I put such a heavy restriction on this jade slip is that you can at least go to the late stage of Golden Core. See, it is because I hope that what you see is not a story, and don’t produce "I want to stand by my mother and despise Shao You" or "My mother's doing this is not very authentic, and Senior Shao is also unkind to others ' Wait for the attitude, at least don't think about it for the first time, but you have to be alert to your demons."

My mother: "Whether it is a demon that clearly triggers your negative emotions, or a demon that seems to make you feel good, you have to be vigilant. It is not a trivial matter to turn against an old friend. If you hurt your classmates, you If you are a lover or Taoist couple, that would be too bad. Friends from outside sects can be thrown away casually, and friendships from the same sect must be taken care of. Oh, by the way, do you have a lover now? Are her or his skills good? Have you studied them carefully? Acacia sect technology?"

without.I'm sorry to disappoint you. It seems that I and Hehuanzong only have theoretical knowledge but no practical fate.I have some experience in dealing with inner demons, and I also take good care of the emotions of my classmates. For this reason, I did not hesitate to actively help the Disciplinary Department to study the punishment items that must be used on me.

My mother: "Although I got the fragmented scroll that was used to give birth to you before Shao You entered the Gu pool, but Shao You probably didn't know about the fragmented scroll. Even most people in the Acacia Sect didn't know about it before I aged rapidly. Well, I don't know why, when I was pregnant with you, I always felt that Shao You, that fragment of scroll, and you seemed to have something to do with each other."

My mother: "It's a very vague relationship. It may be good or it may be bad, but no matter whether it is good or bad, it is a relationship that cannot be ignored."

My mother: "I had a vague premonition that Shao You would be able to come out of the Gu pool alive. When she came out, she was already in the Nascent Soul Stage. There may be a touch of melancholy in my death, and then she should take care of my son. It is unreasonable for her to kill me. After she wakes up, she must feel a little guilty, right? This guilt cannot If it is implemented on me who is dead, I can only send my son."

My mother: "However, son, even if Shao You feels guilty, don't expect her to do you any favors. If you don't say anything, she may help you if she meets; but if you use me as an excuse If you try to make friends with her deliberately, she will throw away the shallow guilt and cheat you severely. There are no good people in the Nascent Soul stage of casual cultivators. Guilt and repaying gratitude can only be done easily by them. Once it becomes a burden If so, they will avenge their kindness."

08814-probably forgot

At this moment, Senior Shao You said to me: "I heard that you stayed in Shuixi City for a long time before entering the Gu pool? Me too, I stayed here longer than you. On the one hand, it was to heal my wounds, on the other hand, I was actually a little afraid. I was not sure at the time whether I should really enter the Gu pool. I was worried that I was confused by the demons in my mind, which led me to walk on a wrong path. Forget about turning around."

Senior Shao: "At that time, I knew very well that I had fallen into a serious evil, and I also knew that many of my words and deeds became extreme under the influence of evil, but I didn't feel that I said or did anything wrong at the time. It is to face the self more calmly, to reveal all the small thoughts that have been covered up in the so-called 'normal state', to abandon hypocrisy, and to be a more authentic self."

Me: "Is the intention to kill my mother sincere?"

Senior Shao: "It's hard to say. I must have disliked Jiang Lin. A fly and a mosquito will be killed after being slapped. Why don't you think of killing a person? At least after I have finished giving birth and raised Gu The moment Chi saw you, I felt that my murderous intent towards Jiang Lin hadn't disappeared. It was only after I knew and confirmed that Jiang Lin was dead that I gradually felt that murderous intent disappear."

Senior Shao: "The idea of ​​'killing Jiang Lin with my own hands' played a very important role in keeping me rational in the Gu pool and successfully crossing the catastrophe. This idea seems to have been branded on my Nascent Soul and became my part of the way."

Me: "My mother said you two don't have a big enmity, did she make a mistake?"

Senior Shao: "No, she didn't. I really have no hatred with her. But hatred and killing don't necessarily have to be equated. I don't know why the killing intent towards Jiang Lin is so stubborn in my consciousness. It is not hate, not love, and cannot bring me benefits, but I have always kept it in mind, so that it has become the root of my reason."

Me: "Could it be that the two of you actually had a deadly feud, but you just forgot?"

Senior Shao: "I can't rule out the possibility, but I didn't find any relevant clues. It seems that Jiang Lin didn't either, at least she didn't tell you."

Me: "Both of you seem to have seen a little bit of each other's future, could this also be related to that stubborn killing intent?"

Senior Shao: "I saw a future where Jiang Lin will die soon—it turns out that she died earlier than I thought—what future does Jiang Lin see for me?"

Me: "You can come out of the Gu pool alive."

Senior Shao: "Really, I saw her die, and she saw me live? If I really lost part of our common memory with her, then in that memory, I should suffer more than her, so she can stand in the victory position." The position of the victim gave me some pity, and I only wished for her to die."

08815 - no longer important

Me: "How did you feel when you just found out that my mother is dead?"

Senior Shao: "You're calm, you didn't scold me when I cursed Jiang Lin?"

Me: "Maybe my mother has already reincarnated and grown up again, and now she has locked on your target. She will defeat you with her own hands in a short time, so I don't have to avenge her."

Senior Shao: "When it was confirmed that Jiang Lin was dead, I felt a piece of emptiness in my heart, as if the Nascent Soul was broken a bit, and the part of my Dao called 'Jiang Lin' stabilizer was gone, which made my cultivation slightly unstable. But not long after, the broken parts were put back together, and the unstable parts stabilized, and everything seemed to be back to normal. It seemed that even if I didn’t have the intention to kill Jiang Lin from the beginning, I wouldn’t lose my mind completely. Will fail to conceive."

Senior Shao: "It seems that what I thought should be firm is unnecessary, and it seems that I have mistaken important things."

Me: "Did some force invade your consciousness and try to control you during your mental demon tribulation?"

Senior Shao: "Maybe there is, but I can't find the source of that power. I tried to recall when I first had negative emotions towards Jiang Lin, but after sorting it out for a long time, I found that it might be when I first had negative emotions towards Jiang Lin. When I saw her, I felt disgusted with her. I appreciated most of her behavior and temperament, but at the same time I was disgusted with a small part of her behavior. The two feelings developed in parallel. One is strong and the other is weak, usually the strong side appears, but the weak side never disappears.”

Me: "I think there's a big difference between resentment and killing intent. For example, I'm very disgusted with the behavior of inquiring about gossip, but at most I want to beat them up, not kill them. I think I'm completely There is no killing intent towards Bao inquiring."

Senior Shao: "I heard that you even give priority to capturing and raising monsters alive rather than killing them."

Me: "Because I always feel that killing is cheap and prone to irreversible accidents."

Senior Shao: "We casual cultivators generally think that irreparable accidents are easy to happen only when the tiger is let go."

Me: "That makes sense."

Senior Shao: "Have I lost some of the memories related to Jiang Lin? With Jiang Lin's death, it doesn't matter anymore. Why did you find me today?"

Me: "It's nothing special, I just feel that I can chat with you in the early Yuanying period. Also, I would like to know from your perspective, what the whole process of your rebellion with my mother is like. If you can I will be very happy to make the related memories into jade slips for me.”

Senior Shao: "But why should I use my memory to make you happy?"

Me: "Maybe I can analyze from your memory whether you have lost your memory? I have done some research on memory."