Xiu Erdai's daily essays

08740-sorry, it's ok

Pei Wuyao: "I still don't know if I can get along well with Yunxiazong, but compared to you, I am indeed more willing to spend time exploring the way of getting along with Yunxiazong and my master. From the perspective of utilitarianism Said that Yunxiazong can bring me more benefits; from an emotional point of view, Yunxiazong makes me more interested."

Kinsey: "It's hard to believe you're only ten years old."

Pei Wuyao: "After all, I obtained the memory fragments of my predecessors, and I obtained them at a very young age, making me seem to know them from birth."

Jin Xi: "It's all the fault of the Tu family."

After a pause, Jin Xi continued: "Although various educational theories say that parents should not shirk their responsibilities in front of their children, I still insist that Tu Zegai is more responsible for the fact that you were stolen and sold and then disappeared. Mine is older, much older. As long as he can tell me the rumors about you in his hometown at the first time, I won't be so vigilant."

Jin Xi: "Of course, the first person responsible must be the demon who should have died, the gambler who stole your money, and the human trafficker."

Pei Wuyao: "From the current situation, my experience is not too bad. It can almost be regarded as a blessing in disguise and a great opportunity, so you don't have to continue to blame yourself, and you don't have to gnash your teeth with hatred when you mention your ex-husband. "

Jin Xi: "Actually... to put it bluntly, I haven't thought much about you or about Tu Zegai in recent years. At first, it was because I felt uncomfortable when I thought about it, so I deliberately avoided thinking about it. Over time, it became true. I think less and less... I'm sorry."

Pei Wuyao: "It's okay, it's good. Creatures should look forward, and you can't always be obsessed with the past. When facing things that you can't do anything about, forgetting is not a bad thing."

Jin Xi: "But many parents who have lost their children will keep looking for their children for a lifetime before finding their children—whether they are dead or alive. There are indeed examples of children who have finally rescued their children from the devil's den after a lot of hardships. .Maybe if I insist on looking for you with all my strength, you will be able to escape from the pile of monsters two or three years in advance? Or, if you are not involved in spiritual power incidents, but are sold to remote places by human traffickers, whether I give up or not may become Can you get away from the key to that place?"

Kinsey: "I...was a mother who didn't live up to her responsibilities."

08741-I really can't talk anymore

Pei Wuyao: "Being less than the top is more than the bottom. Compared to parents who beat and scold their children at every turn, sell their children with their own hands, and cling to their children to suck blood, you are already very good. If you are worse, maybe my dad will hear it again. When the evil spirits said that I would bring bad luck, they strangled me or sold me with their own hands, maybe after seeing that I have become a disciple of Yunxia Sect, you will first think about how much benefit my current status can bring to your new family."

Kinsey: "It doesn't seem like consolation? People who do that are called scum."

Pei Wuyao: "That's right. You are not saints, nor are you scum, you are just ordinary people. You will make mistakes, you will be negligent, and you will avoid sad things. You are not perfect or useless. That's it."

Kinsey: "Because you don't have much affection for us, so you can easily forgive?"

Pei Wuyao: "Maybe. That's why I said, it's enough to keep such a distant distance. If we get closer, we may criticize each other. There is an irreparable gap between us, and it is likely to get worse and worse."

Kinsey: "Did you live well these years?"

Pei Wuyao laughed: "My master mentioned to me that you might ask me this question, and also said that my answer might make the chat cold."

Kinsey was a little nervous: "So, what is your answer?"

Pei Wuyao: "It's okay. Maybe outsiders think that the life of fighting monsters to the death is very difficult, but I have lived that kind of life since I can remember. There is no other person to compare with. The monsters I met They all live like that, so I feel that I am similar to other creatures, and I don’t feel uncomfortable. When I understand that I am not the same kind as a monster, and when I see a human life that can be compared with myself, I can already feel like a monster. I lived in the pile with ease, so I still don’t feel uncomfortable.”

Pei Wuyao: "I personally feel that my life has always been okay. There have been injuries, serious injuries that seemed to be about to die, but the injuries healed quickly and did not leave any disabilities. I have not been tortured, monsters I seldom play the game of torture, and I have always been straightforward. Fighting dryly, there is the danger of death, but there is no inner suffering. Before I understand what death means, I am used to hovering on the edge of life and death , so, after I understand death, I am not afraid of death."

Kinsey: "...um."

Pei Wuyao: "It seems that I really can't continue talking."

Jin Xi: "Immortal Pei Lin really has a deep understanding of mortals."

Pei Wuyao squeezed the ball rolling on his arm, and said, "He is a good master."

08742 - duration of hate

When saying goodbye to Jin Xi, it was getting late, Pei Wuyao thought about it, and then went to find his biological father, Tu Zegai.

If Jin Xi was a little excited when he saw Pei Wuyao, then Tu Zegai was more emotional when he saw Pei Wuyao.He seemed to be unable to understand why his eldest son, who had been missing for a long time and was almost regarded as dead by himself even though he didn't say it clearly, suddenly appeared, and it was also related to the incident of Pei Lin's apprenticeship that had been rumored a while ago.Even if he believed this matter under my proof, Tu Zegai's emotions were still not in place.

Pei Wuyao said to Tu Zegai: "It's okay, I just came to say hello to you, let you know that I'm still alive and doing well, and you don't have to spend time looking for me in the future."

Tu Zegai: "...very good."

Seeing that Tu Zegai had nothing to say, Pei Wuyao was about to leave. Tu Zegai quickly called Pei Wuyao to stop. When Pei Wuyao looked at him again, he hesitated for a moment and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't protect you well."

Pei Wuyao smiled: "Actually, you believe that I am a disaster star, right? After I disappeared, after you divorced my biological mother Jin Xi, after you basically gave up looking for me and focused on your new family, your career You and your family are getting better and better, so you secretly feel that not only me, but even Jinxi are your drags? Intellectually, you know that those are the lies of the devil to deceive people, but emotionally, you still feel that life is really lucky. Said, and luck is affected by certain factors that can be manipulated by human beings.”

Pei Wuyao: "Actually, after all your blood relatives have believed that statement, it would be a miracle if you, who have lived in the same environment as them since childhood, could not believe that statement at all. It can be praised because it is rare enough. You despise your family's ignorance, greed, idleness, and pride in your own excellence, but when you constantly compare yourself with them on the same platform, it means You think you are comparable, have some essential things in common."

Pei Wuyao: "The investigation report my master gave me is very detailed. I know that you have indeed lost contact with your relatives because of my disappearance, but when you have a new family and a new career, when you find out that your new career If you can develop better with the help of your blood relatives, my affairs will become your handle to manipulate them and suppress them. Now, you still despise them, but you no longer hate them."

Pei Wuyao: "When you say to them, 'If you can't find Yaoyao, I won't forgive you for a day', and at the same time instruct them to do various things for you, whether to forgive or not becomes empty talk. You treat them How long have you maintained your true hatred in total? Three years? Five years? It's actually been a long time."

Tu Zegai's face was a bit ugly.

Pei Wuyao: "I said, it's okay, I don't care. In fact, I don't really feel that I have found my parents now. I know that you are my parents objectively, but I really can't invest in you subjectively. For me, it’s not much different from monsters. I can accept that monsters who are chatting well suddenly try to kill me, and of course I can also accept that you don’t care about me anymore—at least you didn’t intend to kill me. This is better than monsters. Much stronger."

08743- also sincere

Tu Zegai: "I...it's not that I don't care about you at all. I ask the police about your whereabouts at least once a year. It's not entirely a show. Letting my blood relatives do things for me is not only because they are useful, but also to retaliate against them. Malice towards you. And, calmly speaking, although they verbally slandered you and brought them bad luck, other than that gambler, no one else actually did anything to hurt you or Kinsey, they just Just gossiping. And because you disappeared so quickly, and Kinsey and I divorced so quickly, they didn't gossip about bad luck for very long."

Tu Zegai: "In addition to the death penalty and life imprisonment, arrests for breaking the law can also be released after serving their sentences. It is almost enough for them to reflect on their verbal mistakes for a few years. Of course, I will never forgive that gambler in my life. , will never give him any chance to make money through my channel. Absolutely not."

Pei Wuyao: "It's good to take revenge moderately."

Tu Zegai: "..."

Pei Wuyao: "I'm serious, I'm not talking ironically."

Tu Zegai: "So, can I still call you son?"

Pei Wuyao: "Of course, I will also call you Dad. Although the blood relationship between us can no longer be detected in the mortal world, it still exists objectively. It is just like you and your blood relationship that once broke down and slowly repaired. They exist objectively like relatives.”

Tu Zegai: "..."

Pei Wuyao: "I'm just stating the facts, not mocking."

Tu Zegai still couldn't continue talking.

Pei Wuyao exchanged contact information with Tu Zegai, and made the same promise as he did to Jin Xi: "You can contact me if you have anything to do. It's not okay to ask me to help you with big things. The relationship between the two of us is not that good, but we will give you a sentence during the holidays." Blessings are not a big problem."

Tu Zegai: "...Okay. I wish you... peace."

Pei Wuyao: "I will. I also wish you a happy life."

As if doing a task, after meeting his parents efficiently, Pei Wuyao returned to Yunxia Zong Yaofeng and said to me: "My father is really a person who tends to think too much. I told him that I don't hold grudges against him, but he half believed it. But he is reluctant to let him immediately and completely cut off contact with his blood relatives again in order to please me. He who is so forward-looking can actually develop a modest career, is the mortal world so easy to mess with?"

Me: "If you can provide him with greater benefits than those blood relatives combined, he will immediately break up with them. In the end, he only thinks about interests. When there are no interests or interests are not clear, He will use his feelings; but when the interests are clear and big enough, he will give priority to the interests. It is normal for this kind of thinking to make some careers, and it is normal for your mother to insist on divorcing him."

Me: "Actually, before the two of them divorced and before you disappeared, Tu Zegai's interest thinking was not so strong. It was sincere that he hated to cut off contact with his family because of you. It's just that part of the sincerity is time-sensitive. That period of time became another kind of sincerity.”