Xiu Erdai's daily essays

04896-familiar

Scholar: "What's wrong...can't you give me a beautiful wife and concubine?"

The liar realized something was wrong, and based on his years of experience in being called to the door by a deceived victim and being unable to be contacted by a deceived victim, he looked at the scholar carefully again, but he still didn't recognize him.After all, too much time has passed, and the calm demeanor of the scholar is also very different from the gullible boy in the countryside.

The liar is cautious: "It seems that the adults don't believe me. Fate can't be forced, we might as well wait for a while, and talk again when the opportunity is really right."

Scholar: "I have heard many deeds of Mr. these days, and I am amazed."

The liar didn't say a word, he glanced at the portrait from the corner of his eye and quickly searched his memory.

Scholar: "I wonder if sir is willing to help me?"

The more the liar looks at the portrait, the more familiar it becomes. After screening out his bad behaviors such as "stealing", "defaced", "deceiving others to work for him for nothing", and finally positioned the painting based on the age of the painting. I drew 'on.

It has been many years since the scammer has not made props for deception himself, so he knows that if the new official in front of him has been deceived by himself because of this painting, then the deception has happened many years ago.

Although the painting is old, it is well preserved. The paper and ink I used at that time were of inferior quality, and the clarity can be maintained, which shows that the person who owns the painting has always cherished this painting.

But what was the line that I cheated back then?The liar who couldn't remember asked himself hard.

Scholar: "What do you think, sir?"

The liar who was awakened by the scholar's voice from his hard memories looked at the scholar, weighed it for a moment, knelt down in front of the scholar, and burst into tears: "My lord, the little ones are just for living. I admit that the things I sell are not worth it." The price I asked for, but I didn’t harm anyone, I really didn’t harm anyone, and I absolutely didn’t mean to harm anyone subjectively. Before I cheated, I did research, and the fat sheep I chose... the buyers I chose can afford me Shoutout. They may have lost some extra money, but they definitely gained extra joy and confidence from buying my items or words."

Liar: "When I bid, I just include their mood fee. I never approach people who may lose their fortunes because of my cheating. I only cheat rich people."

Scholar: "Sir, you are talented and kind."

While wiping tears and snot all over his face, the liar appraised the scholar's expression, and felt that the scholar looked at him not like looking at an enemy, so the trouble caused by the painting was at most hurting the self-esteem of the young man, right?

So the liar stopped crying and stood up: "I didn't bring any money with me today, so I'll go back to get the money and compensate you for the loss."

04897 - The ins and outs

Scholar: "Stop. I'm not asking you for money, and I'm not going to let you sneak away from the local area. I want to negotiate a deal with you. Did you hear what I said clearly when you just stared at the painting and recalled the past?"

Liar: "Ah, I heard, you want the new official to take office three times, and burn the local snake that has been screwed with you. I... my lord, I can't help you with this, I'm just asking for a living, see What you see is all superficial things, how do you know their weakness under the table?"

Scholar: "Hey, why did you take off your tall man's skin so easily? I haven't done anything to you, have I? I think you may not remember when you sold this painting to whom, and you What are you afraid of?"

Liar: "You don't understand this. The rules in our business are not not to shed tears when you see the coffin, or to be stubborn and not to let go, but to follow the wind and make the best use of the situation. Yes, if I bite to death and refuse to admit it, you may not Can produce sufficient evidence to prove that this painting was drawn by me, that I lied to you many years ago, but so what?"

Liar: "You know the truth, and so do I; you won't fall for me a second time, and I won't list you as my fat sheep again. I have nothing to gain from you, or, If I want to make profits from you, I need to expend far more effort than I deceive other dozens of people. If I am willing to expend this effort, I will not be a liar for so many years. Isn’t this business just to try to be able? Are you lazy, and you don't mean to make a fortune."

Liar: "Look, you who have been deceived by me have become a high-ranking official, but I am still just a liar and have no progress. People don't fight with officials, so I naturally want to avoid you. Uh, what? , can you give me a straight line, did I draw this painting? Did I deceive you? Or did I deceive someone you know?"

The scholar nodded, and then half-forced and half-baited the liar to help him remove the obstacles that prevented him from controlling the local real power. During this period, the liar finally clearly recalled the ins and outs of the painting.

The liar felt that he was wronged: "My lord, can you tell me in good conscience that I sold it very expensive? Well, it is much more expensive than the cost, but did it give you the motivation to study? Did you just look at it? How many times can you read the book more times? If you hadn’t been accompanied by it, wouldn’t you have achieved fame so quickly? Now you may think it is ugly when you look at it, but back then, with the general appearance in your village, you can say whether it is beautiful Is it shocking?"

Scholar: "Ordinary beauty, less than thrilling."

Liar: "Anyway... it still satisfies your aesthetics at the time, right?"

Scholar: "Yes."

04898-Walk into the heart

Liar: "Then it's over. You spend a sum of pocket money that you have full control over. After you spend it, you won't be delayed in eating, wearing clothes, making friends, entertaining guests or offering bribes. A picture of a beautiful woman in a good mood. It’s worth it. Money is a thing, it’s sad if you don’t have it, but if it’s too much, you just put it away, but anyway, putting money and putting pictures, isn’t it the same?”

Liar: "Right, ah, my lord, you needed the painting, I needed the silver, we both got what we needed, no problem, right?"

Scholar: "What Mr. said is very reasonable."

Liar: "So can you let me go? I also helped you settle the local snake, and you also cut off my big fat sheep in the local area. Can you let me go and let me start a new life in another place? And you Realize your ambitions down-to-earth here, and in two years you will have outstanding achievements in government, be promoted and make a fortune, how wonderful. Are you right?"

Scholar: "Do you know why I haven't married a wife at my age?"

Liar: "...You can't promise yourself to a painting, can you?"

Scholar: "No, but it's about the same."

fraud:"……"

Scholar: "I have indeed met many people who are more beautiful than paintings, but there is no second one that can enter my heart. When you drew him, did you refer to real people?"

The liar answered vaguely.

The scholar didn't hear clearly: "What?"

The liar took a deep breath: "I speak calmly, you listen calmly, we all remain calm. Well, back then, including now, the focus of deceiving people was to capture people's hearts, not to make items, so I always I can be as lazy as I can. I usually paint the buyer or the person who is close to the buyer. In your painting, I... just follow your appearance, and then... change a few points, and it will be... like that .”

Liar: "So, if you think it's beautiful, then you're narcissistic; if you think it's ugly, then you're inferior. Well, that's it."

The scholar behaved much calmer than the liar, he only asked: "Either you are narcissistic or inferior, is there no middle value?"

Liar: "Don't look at it, don't bother to look at it, or get tired of looking at it is the middle value. Which normal person is okay to stare at himself in the mirror..."

Scholar: "I don't have the habit of looking in the mirror often."

Liar: "Well, you take that painting with you wherever you go. Except for eating, you should hang the painting when you sit quietly for more than a quarter of an hour. Seriously, even if you don't consider the beauty and ugliness of the people in the painting, the painting's Painting skills...how about I paint you a new one? My painting skills are much better now. Every time I see your painting, I feel like you are laughing at me for my bad drawing. "

Scholar: "The technology may be better, but the emotion is weaker."

Liar: "I didn't have any emotion when I drew that picture. Do you really need to treat those eyes?"

04899 - blind and deaf

While the two were talking, the painting on the wall next to them was distorted, the scholar immediately noticed it and looked straight at it; the liar also looked at the painting for a while after hearing the scholar's explanation, but didn't notice the difference, so he laughed at the scholar as usual Startled.As a result, the laughter was not over yet, and the painting became more violently distorted, and then it seemed that the whole room was shaken.

Liar: "...Run?"

Scholar: "My paintings will not harm me."

Liar: "...Then you stay here by yourself, I will withdraw first."

Before the liar staggered to the door of the house, the sense of swinging and twisting in the room disappeared, and another man who looked exactly like him stood in front of the scholar.That is the demon cultivator Shao Gangming.

The first thing the scholar said to Shao Gangming who had transformed into a human form was: "My wife."

The first thing Shao Gangming did to the scholar who raised him was to grab his collar and shout: "I have endured you for many years, I am a man, are you blind?!"

The liar who was holding on to the door frame echoed: "It's quite blind."

The scholar calmed down: "Men and women are not important, I heard that male goblins can also have children."

Well, yes, that's right, it's not a rumor.

Shao Gangming gritted his teeth: "I didn't give birth to you."

Scholar: "It's okay, I can give birth. I heard that goblins can also make human men have children."

Well, yes, correct, this is not a rumor either.

Then on issues such as whether to give birth or not, to marry or not to marry, to stay or to leave, to live together or to live apart, Shao Gangming and the scholar basically quarreled a lot every day and then matched some small quarrels.Oh, no, it should be said that Shao Gangming quarreled with the scholar unilaterally, but the scholar remained calm and almost enjoyed Shao Gangming's voice.

The liar said to Shao Gangming: "Maybe, besides being blind, he is also deaf?"

Shao Gangming raised his hand and melted a pile of paper to wrap the liar into a mummy.

Liar: "Theoretically, I'm your original producer. As your real father, the guy who calls your wife is just your adoptive father."

Shao Gangming: "Oh, my own father used me to cheat money, and my adoptive father abducted me for incest?"

Scholar: "Don't talk nonsense, I'm raising a child and a daughter-in-law."

Shao Gangming wrapped the scholar into a mummy and made him keep company with the liar.

A liar who can move his mouth: "Look at your own face when looking for a child bride..."

The scholar who can move his mouth: "The matter of fate can't be explained clearly, and the way is unclear. Whatever happens is what happens."