Xiu Erdai's daily essays

04764 - Repetition, regularity, small but infinite variations

Me: "I have to keep thinking, but how can I be sure that my thinking is valid, or is it a meaningless fantasy in the name of false thinking? Is fantasy really meaningless? And the thinking that I think is meaningful now Is it really meaningful? After all, my cognition is limited now, and some judgments may be biased and narrow. What I think is valuable now may not be valuable in the long run, and what seems worthless now may also bring I've been of great help."

Me: "For example, when I was a child, I randomly read and practiced the knowledge of planting masters, alchemy, and weapon cultivation. I thought that as a swordsman, learning those knowledge was not a serious job, and it was not the kind of serious knowledge that could be a part-time study. I didn't take it seriously at all. , It's just a nonsense, but in Qi'an, these nonsense skills brought me back the Jiuning ticket, and later prompted the appearance of Tongmingguo. Furthermore, if I didn't learn that little superficially, I might enter Qi'an The candidate is not necessarily me."

Me: "Sword cultivators are the best at protecting themselves during adventures, but if they only care about protecting themselves, wouldn't it be less dangerous if they don't go in? So there must be some other skills besides self-protection. Besides, what I know may not necessarily be regarded as 'other skills."

Me: "Is Tongmingguo considered a elixir? If it weren't for the ancient Bigu Dan that was born without a strict definition of elixir, the Yaozong should have kicked Tongmingguo out of the ranks of elixirs. Now Tongmingguo is being stuck by Bigudan. At the critical point of the Medicine Sect's cognition, it made them uncomfortable."

Me: "For me, it doesn't matter whether the Tongming fruit is considered as a medicine or not, even the Tongming fruit itself is not very important. What I need more is the insights gained from refining Tongming fruit and adjusting the refining scheme of Tongming fruit. , refining tools, making talismans, using swords, analyzing raw materials, intuition, theory... the perception of all the things I have come into contact with and studied. I don’t know where the direction of perception is, I try it over and over again, from all angles , try my best to use the exhaustive method. One hundred at a time, usually twice a second, sometimes three or five times a second, never stop, quantitative changes accumulate qualitative changes."

Me: "Is there bound to be a qualitative change? I don't know, I just feel a little fascinated by the repetition of slight differences over and over again. Getting out, rolling around, being eaten, being stored, monotonous yet inexplicably attractive.”

Me: "When I gave Duan Yanzhou the little Lingzhi who beat someone with a broken branch, I told Yan Gui that children like this kind of toy. It is repetitive, regular, and small but infinitely changeable. It is easy to use and not difficult to play. It's easy to get bored, the point is not that children like it, but I like it. I just push myself and others. I like the feeling of being similar but different. Similarity makes me feel at ease because of familiarity, and a little bit of difference allows me to cling tightly In peace of mind, while slowly getting in touch with more, slowly turning unfamiliarity into familiarity, creating more peace of mind.”

Me: "When I was in the Pet Secret Realm, I didn't feel that those things that I bought but couldn't bring into the companion belonged to me. My breeder Zhou Qingxing said that it meant that I lacked a sense of security. I think she was right."

04765-Retreat

Me: "Speaking of which, do I count it as a retreat now? I know Dad, you have been listening to me, as long as you are here, I always feel safe, and Pei Feng is the environment I am most familiar with. I don't see outsiders, I only think for myself, Is it considered a retreat? Although the thinking during the retreat is not to speak out the content of thinking, but because I have spirit treasures and spirit beasts, even if I don’t need to say it out, I will ‘speak’ the content of thinking to them in my heart Listen, I'll still say it."

Me: "What you say in your heart doesn't affect the retreat, and what you say with your mouth doesn't affect it."

Me: "When I visited the Qisanwu Peak, some people said that I looked lonely on the mountain alone. From the perspective of a bystander, I seemed to be lonely when I was on the Peifeng Peak alone, but I am sure that I have been growing up in my life since I was a child. Big, loneliness never invaded my heart when I was on Peifeng, I didn't even think about loneliness or not at all, I just thought, 'this is how my life should be' and 'this is a life that makes me feel comfortable'. "

Me: "No, when I was a child, I didn't evaluate whether my life was comfortable or not, because it was unnecessary and I didn't have free time. There are so many things to play, and there is no room for 'evaluation and summary'. The dizzying and interesting things occupy me. So full of attention that I don't have time to think about life."

Me: "So, 'Thinking about life' means eating enough to support affairs when there is nothing to do? By analogy, so is 'thinking'?"

Me: "When doing things, in order to do things well, in fact, every step of the way is already thinking, and that kind of thinking is integrated with the specific affairs, and it does not appear prominent; while thinking when there is nothing to do, it is isolated thinking, floating. Nothing to rely on, empty, abrupt, and of no immediate value, or, forever, of no value, just a fantasy."

Me: "Don't be obtrusive, don't force it, just let it be...it's agreed that I'm the only one here?"

While I was muttering to myself, a person suddenly appeared in front of me, not my father, not anyone I knew, and not wearing the Yunxia Sect uniform.The reason why he appeared suddenly is that when I realized he was already sitting in front of me, his sitting posture was similar to mine, and his expression may be similar to that of me now. I need to rely on memory to find the specific time point of his appearance, but even Relying on my memory, I can't find where he came from, and I don't know what posture he was in the moment before he sat down.

04766 - one person

The last time I was approached so ignorantly was when I first met Kunlun Xinge and the elder, but this time I knew that the person in front of me was not from the Mahayana period, and his cultivation was the same as mine.

exactly the same.

Exactly.

Me: "Pei Jianzhuo." He is my sword.

He nodded slightly, as if he was too lazy to move, or as if he didn't think it was necessary to do so.

Me: "You are not a spirit treasure yet, you have not yet given birth to a spirit weapon, and you are still just a spirit weapon."

He nodded again, this time it was so small that it seemed like my hallucination, or, it was just my brain overfilling.

Me: "So why are you showing up now?"

Originally sitting cross-legged like me, with his hands hanging naturally on his legs, he changed his posture, put his right hand on his bent right knee, and did not answer my question.

Because I already know the answer.

But this answer might be a bit problematic.

Me: "Just because I feel that I need to use the firmness of the sword to stabilize my wandering thoughts, you come out first and let me see? Is this possible?"

Me: "It seems that there is a precedent."

Me: "I use your body and you use your body, which one can exert stronger combat power?"

Me: "Of course we cooperate and use it together."

Me: "Hey, as the embryonic form of my sword spirit, treasure weapon spirit, please take care of me, don't let me keep asking and answering by myself? Although your answer is also my own question and answer."

Pei Jianzhuo continued to look at me lazily, didn't respond, but seemed to be listening attentively.

Me: "Even if you can't speak now, you can lip-synthesize, right? I understand lip language."

The little fur ball got out of the pocket, circled half a circle, arrived behind Pei Jianzhuo, and pounced.Pei Jianzhuo caught it with one hand, put it on his lap, and then put his hand on the back of the fur ball.

Mao Qiu was stunned for a while, and said, "Is he an entity?"

Pei Jianzhuo finally said, "No."

Then he said, "Yes."

Better not say it.

Pei Jianzhuo smiled and threw the fur ball into my arms.

That way of laughing is a bit like my father, the posture of carrying and throwing cats... like all the elders who have thrown me.

Pei Jianzhuo's current state... can be said to be rather miraculous. Even with the breadth of my memory, his state can be described as rare, although there are still similar precedents.

04767 - as if across time

Pei Jianzhuo is not a weapon spirit yet, but in the future when my sword spirit and treasure weapon spirit is born, it will definitely be exactly the same as the current Pei Jianzhuo. Now he is like... not so much a prototype, but maybe closer to a mold. Its surface is hollow, and the complete Pei Jianzhuo will be born in this Pei Jianzhuo shell, and finally merge with the shell.

No, the analogy is still wrong.The current Pei Jianzhuo is not so separated from the future Pei Jianzhuo.He seems to have crossed time, using a part of his image from the future to return to the present to appear in front of me; it may also be my consciousness that spans time, and a part of me has walked from the present to the future and appeared in front of him.

I reached out to touch Pei Jianzhuo's cheek, the softness of a normal face was a bit icy, but it was only the ice that matched Pei Feng's temperature, still exuding the temperature of a living person; Pei Jianzhuo reached out and rubbed my head, like a big brother's tease , It's like a fur ball patting Xiao Sui with a meat pad.

The little easygoing Pei Bing had a head popping out from both sides of my shoulders, and they all looked at Pei Jianzhuo curiously, and Pei Jianzhuo patted each of them fairly.

Xiao Sui touched the place that Pei Jianzhuo touched, and then smiled at Pei Jianzhuo: "Hello, future partner."

Pei Jianzhuo: "Hello, the current housekeeper."

Xiao Sui corrected it earnestly: "It's permanent, the master's permanent housekeeper."

Pei Jianzhuo was kind and kind: "Hello, permanent housekeeper."

Pei Bing: "..."

Pei Jianzhuo looked at Pei Bing: "Hello, strong shield."

Pei Bing: "Hello...Master Jian, please don't snatch me up, okay?"

Why is this kid so weak?What about Xiao Sui's aura of fighting with me before waking up?

Pei Jianzhuo: "Which kind of robbing? Lovers? I don't fall in love."

Me: "Such iron teeth?"

Pei Jianzhuo: "No, I just follow your future. If you talk about it, I might talk about it."

I:"……"

Xiao Sui: "Why are you the same as the master? You are not talking to the master." It was actually a bit aggrieved, not a threatening tone.

Pei Jianzhuo: "You are Pei Lin's internal avatar, and I am his external avatar. You and I are in the same state as Pei Lin in many aspects, especially when it comes to soul, Tao and other essential aspects. The Taoist companion involves both the soul and the soul. It is impossible for us to be in a different state from Pei Lin."

Pei Jianzhuo: "And because we have a clear subordinate relationship with Pei Lin, we belong to Pei Lin, so Pei Lin's state determines our state, and our state can only reflect Pei Lin's state, and cannot control his direction."