hell in disguise

It was the first time Yan Fei saw the karmic insects hanging lazily from the willow tree outside the door, and he didn't show the disgusted or disgusted expressions that many humans might have.On the contrary, his eyes were full of curiosity, and he tilted his head towards the familiar yet unfamiliar willow tree.

He would see that tree every day, as familiar as his own palm.But now there are no willow leaves on the willow trees, and there are countless flesh-colored tentacles dancing lazily in the air.The tree is also covered with a layer of dark green slime and moss, and there are many translucent things like frog eggs attached to it.One or two karmic insects as thick as a human's waist were curled up on two branches, and their purple-red bodies occasionally trembled in satisfaction, and the front end of the head or the tail curled and bent along with the "wickers".

In addition, the originally clear sky was no longer visible, and blue fog was everywhere.Looking back at his and Tan Yangzi's home, they found that the house seemed to have been abandoned for several years, and it was decayed and dilapidated. Thick moss spread on the earthen walls and doors. .Not only their house, but even the ground under their feet became very soft and sticky, with each foot leaving footprints, and when they lifted it up, they could vaguely see countless flesh-colored maggots wriggling together in the soil.

"The closer the bardo is to the land, the closer it is to hell, and the closer it is to the human world. So all decay starts from the ground." Tan Yangzi, who also smelled the smell of corpse candles, can now see the bardo These creatures stood beside Yan Fei and said, "Creatures living in the bardo world are generally not aggressive, as long as you don't offend them."

Yan Fei pointed to the karmic insects and asked, "Can I touch them?"

"You can try."

Yan Fei stretched out a finger and tentatively poked the bug on the tree.The fingertips seemed to suddenly sink into a lump of soft fat, which was wet and felt sticky and disgusting to the touch.The karma didn't respond either, and continued to shake its body lazily.Yan Fei put his mucus-stained finger between his nose and sniffed it, his face wrinkled, "Oh...it stinks..."

Tan Yangzi laughed, "Let's walk over there. Maybe we can meet one or two people."

When they came to the Bian River, they found that the originally clear and green water had become extremely turbid now, exuding a foul smell, not to mention white foam, and a thick layer of green hair floating on it .Through the turbid dirt, many strange fish with fat human faces can be vaguely seen swimming slowly.The original green lawn was also replaced by some densely packed fungi, and some things that seemed to be sporangia popped open from time to time, releasing a burst of black smoke.

There was an indescribable gloom and depression floating in the air.

"Why is everything in the bardo world so...corrupt?" Yan Fei stretched out his hand, letting the spores visible to the naked eye fall on his fingers, quickly decompose and disintegrate into ashes.

"Because it's too close to hell. The level of corruption here is nothing compared to hell." Tan Yangzi looked at a group of flying insects with heads on both sides buzzing under a "willow tree", stretched out his hand After catching one, the worm began to spit out pale yellow mucus, and struggled helplessly between his fingers, "In hell, these rivers flow either lava or pus, and the plants growing on the ground are full of blood. It is highly poisonous, and you won’t die if you eat it by mistake, but your whole body will be covered with blisters and festers as if being burned. The only thing you can eat is the maggots dug out from the ground, or eat other ghosts.”

Yan Fei frowned slightly.Thinking of Tan Yangzi going to live in that kind of place, my heart ached.

Why can't Tan Yangzi stay in the world and be with him forever?

Yan Fei turned his head, then was startled suddenly, stepped back and nearly fell into the river, but fortunately, Tan Yangzi grabbed his waist in time to stabilize his figure.I only heard Tan Yangzi say in his deep and rich voice, "Uncle Qian, are you done?"

Yan Fei was taken aback, as if he couldn't believe it.

Uncle Qian is the ferryman at Liulinpo Ferry on the Bian River, and he is often seen on weekdays.When Tan Yangzi was away, Uncle Qian was entrusted by him to occasionally visit him at home and bring him some river fish and crab.

It's just that the one in front of him is not a person, but a mass of melting flesh.Those blood vessels and muscles wrapped in mucous membranes were deformed and twisted, dingling and hanging around the body, it was hard to tell where was the limbs and where was the torso, as if a living person had melted away like a candle.There is also no brain in place of the head, just a few pustules-like bumps with various organs scattered throughout.Some had eyes, some had mouths, some had noses, and there were too many of them.

A blood-stained twig protruded from the monster's body and waved in the air.A protuberance with a mouth on the top of the head began to move, "Yeah, go home for dinner. When did you come back? Where did you travel again?"

It's really Uncle Qian?

Although Yan Fei knows that the human beings seen in the bardo world are all their Alaya Consciousness—that is, the appearance of the soul of life, they usually don't look too good.But he didn't expect that such a peaceful, loving and honest man as Uncle Qian would transform into this...

Where are people here?

A nauseating feeling surged up from his stomach, and he wanted to vomit, but he didn't dare to make a sound.The monster approached him, the pieces of flesh under the thin mucous membrane rubbed and writhed against each other, and the fine blood vessels twisted and deformed, extruding streams of translucent mucus.A pungent sour smell hit his face, almost making him unable to suppress the acid rushing up his throat.

"Brother Yan's complexion is not very good, is he sick?"

Tan Yangzi said with a smile, "Probably because I lost my stomach after eating lunch."

"Oh, don't eat indiscriminately. Oh, by the way, my relatives recently brought me a lot of freshly picked plums. I'll send you some later?"

"Why bother you?"

"Hey, if you hadn't treated the old woman, she would still be lying on the kang. Don't be polite!"

The two exchanged pleasantries, and the monster finally wriggled away slowly, leaving a trail of translucent slime on the ground behind it.

Tan Yangzi saw that Uncle Qian was walking away, so he turned his head to look at Yan Fei, who was pale and trying not to vomit, and smiled lightly, "Is this unbearable?"

Yan Fei insisted, "Who says I can't take it anymore? I'm fine!"

"Uncle Qian is not bad, you haven't seen his wife yet." Tan Yangzi said, and slowly stretched out his hand, his slender fingers pointed along the long Bian River to Bian Liang looming in the mist in the distance City, "There are also countless people in that city, who are even better than him."

Yan Fei imagined that the whole city was covered with such bloody, mucus-smelling and stinking pieces of meat wriggling in the streets, and he couldn't help shivering.

Tan Yangzi ignored him and continued walking along the embankment.Among the willow trees with fleshy tentacles, there are many rickety and thin gray human figures crawling and rustling, but their bodies are much smaller than normal adults, their limbs are especially thin, but their stomachs are out of proportion like a sack It's big, and it looks like a giant humanoid spider lying on the ground.There are only a few scattered hairs on their bald heads, and their faces are covered with festering sores, which are so crowded that their facial features are deformed, and their bodies are naked, but their gender cannot be identified.They hide behind the branches, their small greedy eyes reflect yellow-green light in the dark light, peeking at Tan Yangzi and Yan Fei from all directions.

Although the number of such human-shaped creatures is not as large as that of karmic insects, Yan Fei can see their shadows behind those twisted trees every time he turns his head. The little devil in.They seemed to be very afraid of Tan Yangzi, every time he walked in, those little ghosts would scatter away like mice, making strange gurgling noises from their mouths.

"People will stay in the bardo world for a short time after death. This place is similar to the human world but completely different. There are rotten and dilapidated appearances everywhere, and there are many little ghosts. Therefore, many people who have just died will be frightened and confused. I thought I had already arrived in the underworld. Black and white impermanence caught them here, took them on the road to the underworld, drank Mengpo soup, and then crossed the Naihe bridge to reincarnate. Their Alaya consciousness will determine what they will become in the next life, maybe they will Become a little ghost in the bardo." Tan Yangzi looked up at the little ghost who was hugging the treetop and peeking at him, and there seemed to be a moment of pity in his expression, "Humans always think that there will be a king of Hades to judge Their crimes, whether they are evil or good, are determined by humans, and no one will judge anyone. In the end, they are the only ones who decide what they become."

Yan Fei looked down at his hands. His fingers were slender and fair, and his palms were plump and rosy.Why is my hand not deformed?Is it because I can't see my soul?So he asked the master with some worry, "What is my soul like?"

Tan Yangzi expected that he would ask him this question, so he just sighed and shook his head, "I don't know."

"do not know?"

"I can't see your soul."

Yan Fei's eyes widened suddenly, "What?! Why!"

Tan Yangzi shook his head, "I don't know why. That's one of the reasons why I accepted you as an apprentice."

Yan Fei thought loudly.Tan Yangzi's words were like a curse, constantly circling and echoing in his mind.

It turns out that this is the reason...

It turned out that it was because of this that he was taken in...

He asked Tan Yangzi many times why he chose to take him in, and Tan Yangzi always used some vague answers to prevaricate him.This time, he finally knew...

He fantasized many times why the master would choose him.Maybe it's because he looks pitiful, maybe it's because he reminds him of some old people, maybe it's because he feels lonely after being alone for too long...

Unexpectedly, the real reason was so simple and cold.

Because I don't know why I can't see his soul, so I stay by my side and observe...

Yan Fei felt his heart being pinched severely, but he stubbornly didn't show that dull pain, just pursed his lips tightly, clenched his hands into fists in his red sleeves, and controlled his voice, " Is it... because I don't have one?"

"Human beings are different from ghosts. It is impossible to have souls, unless you are a zombie. But you have flesh and blood, and you are indeed alive." Tan Yangzi turned around and looked at him, his cold eyebrows softened slightly After a few minutes, he stretched out his hand and lightly pressed Yan Fei's shoulder, and comforted him, "Don't worry, I will ask someone to investigate this matter carefully when I go to Fengcheng to see if there is any precedent."

Yan Fei didn't make a sound, just nodded his head.

"It's getting late today, let's go here." Tan Yangzi passed him and walked back to the direction of the hut first.Looking at the tall and straight blue back, Yan Fei's face, which was always cute and smiling, gradually froze, and there was a hint of sadness and unwillingness in his deep eyes.

not enough... still not enough...

No matter how well-behaved he is, in the eyes of the master, there is still no him...

In Master's heart, Yan Fei will always be just the picked up child who cannot see the soul of fate.

Desire burns in the bottom of my heart, and poisonous flames spread in my blood...

Not enough... Yan Fei wants more... many, many... even all...

I want Master to only look at him and smile at him; I want to hug that broad and strong shoulders and block the waist bound by the blue belt; I want to see more expressions of Master, more appearances...

I want to lock Master in a place that only I can see, so that he can never leave again...

Yan Fei suddenly shivered.

What does he want...