hell in disguise

Shiva will never forget what it was like to find Kanna after the first reincarnation.

He was so thin that he was out of shape, the bones of his legs and arms were crushed by the wheels, and there was not a piece of intact and scarless skin all over his body.He was thrown hastily into the snow in the ravine like a puppet that had been torn apart. He was still breathing, but he couldn't move.A lynx, as skinny as he was, spotted him, thought he was dead, and began nibbling on his body.But his tongue was cut off when he was very young, so he couldn't even cry out in pain.

In this reincarnation, Jianna was born a slave, because his "mother" was a slave.Ever since he could remember, he never had a full meal or a good night's sleep.I have to do rough and heavy chores every day, and I don't know when I will be beaten for something, and I don't know if I will be beaten to death directly.The life of a slave is as cheap as an ant, and no one will care about his life or death.Even his biological mother didn't like him, she just thought he was another burden to her, and when he was less than two years old, she thought he was noisy, so she cut off his tongue with a blunt knife.

He has no name and does not know who his father is.He only knows to obey, so that he can suffer less.But even with his obedience, his masters always found an opportunity to punish him.Somehow his masters seemed to like to see him suffer and suffer. They whipped him, hung him up with a rope, and burned him with a branding iron.He could only scream silently, his teeth were almost broken, but no one gave him mercy.He endured all kinds of torture and humiliation, and finally because of consumption, he was kicked out of the house and could only wander in the streets.With no food to eat and no clothes to cover his body, he could only dig the snow on the ground to satisfy his hunger.In the end, he was knocked down by a carriage, and the driver was afraid that his crimes would be discovered, so he drove him to the wilderness to throw his body.

In the extreme pain and fear of being eaten by the lynx, in the cold gradually covered by the snow, he awakened the memory of Qingwuchang.At the same time, his body also began to be healed slowly by the power of the ghost body.It's just that the healing was too slow, and he could only continue to bear a little bit of the pain of being eaten.

After a while, Shiva found him.

Shiva was mentally prepared. It was not the first time he had seen people reincarnated, and he also knew that Qinghong Wuchang could easily be reincarnated into the body of an unexpected baby corpse.But when he saw that his hands and feet were twisted in unnatural directions, and his eyes were empty lying in the dirty ditch, he still felt as if his heart had been severely torn open.

His Tanna, his bad-tempered but very cute Channa, was tortured into this appearance.

He knelt down and picked up Channa, his hands were shaking.Qian Na's face was covered with snow, his snow-covered eyelashes trembled and parted, his tired eyes gradually fixed on his face, and the corners of his mouth were raised slightly weakly, as if he seemed a little happy.

"Shiva..."

Shiva knew that Kanna had a strong self-esteem, and he didn't want to show any sad or pitying expressions.So he forced himself to endure the severe pain and burning resentment in his patience, and squeezed out a gentle smile, "I found you."

Zunna let out a long breath, and her whole body, which was tense due to the pain, gradually relaxed.He leaned his head in Shiva's arms, and said with a wry smile, "Reincarnation is really tiring..."

Shiva tightened his arms, wanting to give Qian some more warmth, "This time is more unlucky, maybe next time it will be better."

But the next time was not good.

The next time is not good.

I don't know why, but the luck of Qianna seems to be worse than that of ordinary green and red impermanence.Almost every time he reincarnates, he has to taste all the misery in the world, and see all the most profound and dignified evil and darkness.He had been abandoned, abused, lied to, betrayed, humiliated.Time and time again, he seems to be cursed by an invisible force, constantly swallowed and reborn by the most filthy aspects of human beings.

Shiva didn't know what was wrong. He asked Judge Han, but the other party just used those commonplace nonsense to prevaricate him.He went to the Department of Funeral Documents to check all the classics he had the authority to borrow, but still couldn't find any answers.A Hongwuchang who has a good relationship with him told him that he had also heard that Qinghongwuchang encountered various unfortunate situations strangely every time he reincarnated. The time of suffering in hell is too short, so those retributions are added to the first 18 years of each reincarnation.

At that time, Shiva was full of anger, but he didn't know where the anger was leading.It shouldn't be like this, Kanna shouldn't be punished like this.

Moreover, Zunna was already a hundred years old when he became Qingwuchang, isn't it enough to suffer for 100 years? !

At that time, Kanna had just reincarnated again, and Shiva rushed to the human world, searching everywhere like a madman.He didn't know what Zan Na would look like this time, what his name would be, but when he thought that Zan Na might be enduring the deepest and most filthy suffering in the world in a place he didn't know, he felt that his internal organs were being crushed. Slowly cutting the rusty blunt knife, resentment and anger like poisonous poison flowed endlessly in his veins.He couldn't do nothing, even though he knew it was futile.

In the end, he still found him when he was reincarnated in Jianna. The reincarnated Jianna was originally the eldest son of the family and the heir to the wealthy family property, but he was betrayed by his most beloved and trusted younger brother and hired a wizard from Miaojiang. Put a Gu on him, causing his whole body to experience severe pain as if being bitten by a thousand spiders, and blood continuously oozes from the pores.The doctor was helpless, and his parents who loved him at home were worried that his disease would be contagious, so they locked him in the house and did not let any other children get close.In his agony, fear and loneliness, he thought he was going to die alone.With the last of his strength, he struggled to his feet, knocked open the locked door, and fell into the yard.His whole body was covered with blood, even his eyes and ears overflowed, and he was described as terrifying like a ghost.All the servants ran away screaming when they saw him, and even the servants who had grown up with him hid behind the rocks in terror.

He stumbled, wanting to see his parents again, and to take a last look at his beloved second brother.But when they saw him, their eyes were so strange, full of fear and... disgust.They kept backing away, as if he was something filthy and unclean.He stretched out his bloody hand and murmured with all his strength, "Mother, I'm in pain...help me..." But the kind mother who used to like to hug him and kiss his cheek avoided him like a snake and scorpion. Screaming all the time.But his second brother held a long door stick in front of his mother, and said viciously, "Brother, if you come here again, don't blame me for being merciless!"

Tears flowed from his eyes, but the tears were mixed with blood, and it was impossible to tell what was flowing.He thought, maybe this is okay, if he is beaten to death like this, there is no need to continue to hurt.

At the same time, his consciousness was in a trance for a moment, as if many memories flashed through his mind in an instant.Pain erupted in his head, he groaned, and took another step forward as if asking for help.

The stick fell.

But the expected pain did not come, a red figure descended from the sky, kicked the stick off the side, and hugged him tightly regardless of the blood stains all over his body.

The strange yet familiar aroma, and the pain in his mind suddenly disappeared.In an instant, he remembered who he was and who this beautiful man in red was.

Shiva hugged the blood-soaked Tanna tightly, raised a pair of beautiful but murderous eyes, and stared fiercely at the terrified young stick-wielding boy in front of him.There was a gloomy and bleak aura emanating from him, and the servants who chased in, the servants hiding around, and the parents and brothers of Channa who were huddled in front of him felt a sense of fear from the bottom of their hearts.They felt that they were facing a bloodthirsty beast that was about to explode at any time and hated them to the bone. The extreme danger made them stiff and unable to move.

"You... who are you!" the elder Patriarch tried to hold up the last bit of courage and asked.

Shiva asked coldly, "What did you do to him?"

"Who the hell are you!" The second young master shouted loudly, "Come here! Hurry up and drag this madman out of nowhere!"

However, as soon as he finished speaking, he felt a cold hand strangling his throat.That hand was so cold, as if protruding from the deepest underground, the nails were deeply embedded in his skin, and the strong strength completely blocked the chance to breathe.He struggled in vain, couldn't breathe with his mouth wide open, and made a ridiculously weird sound.He heard the devilish man in red whispering in his ear, "What did you do to him? If you don't say anything else, I'll let you all be buried with him!"

The other servants rushed up and wanted to pull him away, but a powerful and frightening ghost burst out from him, shaking everyone several meters away.

He has broken too many rules of punishing evildoers, he has hurt mortals, and he has no scruples in using spells in front of mortals.He knew he would face a terrible punishment afterward.

But he doesn't care.

He wants to kill these people, all the people who have hurt Channa.

When he finally let go of his hand, the second young master, who was almost strangled to death, was so frightened that he lost control of himself.He told all about how he was jealous of his elder brother's status as the eldest son, how he found the Miaojiang wizard, and how he poisoned his elder brother's meals.The parents of Zhanna in this life were dumbfounded when they heard this, and all the servants were also stunned. They never thought that the second son, who is usually harmless to humans and animals, would do such a thing.

And the most angry one was Shiva.He wanted to crush the beast in front of him to death.But he knew that if he did this, he would be severely punished by Fengdu, and he might even be executed.In that case, Zanna must be extremely painful, so painful that he will go with him.

So he forced the beast to hand over the antidote, and then beat him half to death.No one dared to stop him on the way, because in the eyes of those people, he had already turned into a raging ghost.

He didn't stop until his fist was bleeding and hurting, the little beast's face was swollen like a pig's head, and he passed out, then he stopped and straightened up.He gently fed the antidote into his mouth, then picked him up, turned around without saying a word, and left the "home" where he had lived for 18 years, never going back.

The mistakes of that life have never been happy.The influence of those 18 years of life on him lasted for a long time, probably because it was the first time he had a complete and decent family, the first time he experienced the happiness of having a family and relatives, but in the end he knew that he The brother he loves the most is secretly jealous and hates him, wishing he could die in the most horrible way.He thought that his parents, who would love him unconditionally forever, would give up on him so easily.

Once lying on Shiva's lap, Qianna said softly, "It's better never to know some things. Without comparison, you don't know what you lack."

Shiva was gently stroking his long hair at that time, his hands were trembling for a moment.

He never let Kanna know how much pain he was in.He knew that there were already too many things to bear, and he didn't want to add any burden to him.But the pain was eating him little by little.Every time he saw Zunna smiling at him, without any scruples, smiling so beautifully, his heart was torn apart, because he knew that the smile would not last, and knew how dark the future waiting for Zunna was. , knowing that there is no place to escape, knowing that the person he loves the most will only go further and further in the abyss of despair, with no future.

His guarded, bad-tempered and lovable lover, now so dependent on him and trusting in him, will one day no longer be able to bear the dirty twists of the world.And he couldn't save him.

And it's all because of him.

Because of what he did in his previous life.

It is he who should bear these sufferings, not Kanna.

Shiva began to look for various methods, and he could find their methods before Qinghong's impermanence awakened.He has tried everything, even superstitions and rumors, as long as it doesn't hurt Zhanna, he has tried everything.He mixed his own blood into the diet of Eunna, he stole Eunna's hair to refine strange pills and then ate them, and he took Eunna to the Sansheng Stone to leave their fingerprints, just because it is said that it can soothe their hearts connected.But nothing works, even if he deliberately destroys his human body and reincarnates at the same time, there is no way to find him before him.

He hid all of these very well, and did not let Eunna know about them.

It's just that Gu Na sometimes seems a little lonely, and sometimes says that he doesn't know what he is thinking and doing.Said he seemed distant.It seems that they have less and less time to use empathy.He didn't know how to tell Zunna what he was doing, he felt that Zunna would think he was crazy.

He didn't want to use empathy too often, because Kanna might feel the pain and guilt that almost drove him crazy.

Then Kanna will find that he is the one who caused all his suffering...

He didn't dare to think about it, couldn't think about it, what would he think of him.

Just when he felt that he was reaching a dead end, he began to hear some Hong Wuchang talking about the upcoming arrival of God Bo Xun in Fengdu on the sixth day.At first, he didn't think that this matter had anything to do with him, until he heard some earth immortals talking in private, saying that Bo Xun had actually been to hell countless times, that he had great supernatural powers and might even be above the emperor of heaven, that he had been in hell before the emperor of heaven. He made a vow in front of him to save all the evil spirits in hell, so he was ridiculed by many immortals from Lihentian.

Originally, he thought that Bo Xun was just another boring god staying in the heaven. He happened to see all kinds of situations in hell, and his sympathy overflowed, so he came to teach some nonsense such as abandoning evil and doing good to "save" them, so Bo Xun After Xun Xun came to Fengdu for the first time, he did not listen to it with other curious green and red Wuchang.

It wasn't until what Bo Xun said caused a huge commotion in hell that it was widely circulated that he felt that this might be an opportunity.

A chance to escape the suffering of this endless cycle.

The first time he saw Bo Xun was under the mirror stage, where the endless flowers of the other side spread in eternity, and the white-clothed god on the high stage was so beautiful, so beautiful that it surpassed the sad souls struggling to survive in the dust. imagine.He is not like those aloof gods who always hide their faces with too hot light.He put away all his light, but even so, his existence itself is like a ray of light, like a ray of hope in the endless dark hell, attracting all creatures who instinctively yearn for the light.

Shiva was fascinated like all the other ghost messengers. They listened to Posen's mantra-like voice, telling about a future they had never dared to imagine before.

Under the existing rules, he could never save Kanna, but what if someone could rewrite the rules?

What if this young and powerful god could be like Brahma a thousand eons ago, like a hurricane that emerged from the sky, sweeping away all the corrupt and corrupt rules, and freeing all the souls trapped in the shackles?

In that case, his sins would no longer have to be trapped in hell, and he would no longer have to bear the consequences of sins that should not have been borne by him.His guilt is that he deserves to live in a freer world, deserves to be surrounded by people who love him and protects him, deserves to have a peaceful and happy future, and deserves to have someone better than himself to love him.

He wants to create a new world for Kanna, a world with choices and a future.

This is his only chance for redemption...

The problem is, he can't take the risk with him.

He guessed how outrageous and outrageous what Bo Xun was going to do.A powerful and young god like Xiang Bo Xun is already easily feared by the emperor who has ruled six realms for several kalpas. In the future, Bo Xun will become more and more powerful, and it is impossible for Li Hentian to spare anyone who has something to do with Bo Xun Living things.

God Ziwei is very powerful, even if Bo Xun is very powerful, even if he can get the support of hell, beast, and even many heavenly beings, the prospect of shaking the existing order is not optimistic.And once they fail, they will surely be doomed. Heavenly Court will burn them to ashes, even anyone related to them will not let them go.

Therefore, if he wants to take this relentless path, he must not bring guilt with him.

However, when he returned to the small courtyard where he and Zunna lived in the world, when he saw Zunna squatting in the yard teasing an orange wild cat that came from nowhere, his eyes were full of tenderness. , When he saw the bright light suddenly burst out from the eyes of Zunna when he saw him coming back, as if there were twinkling stars, his confidence began to waver again.

He wanted to indulge in such a happy illusion, wanted to pretend that he and Jianna were very happy, and wanted to believe that it was enough for them to have each other.

And he really made up his mind to reincarnate Zhang Huachi's life in Jianna.

When he found Kuanna in the mass grave, who had been beaten by his own father to the point that all his bones were broken, his hands were firmly inserted into the soil, and his anger and sorrow froze in his throat, making him want to scream , wanting to drink the blood of those who hurt Zunna, wanting to destroy everything.He hugged the unconscious Zhang Huachi's broken body and wept, not daring to imagine how frightened, how painful, how much he hated the unawakened Qian Na.

And again and again and again and again.He deceptively watched Quanna struggling in the boundless sea of ​​suffering constructed by the world and hell, and hypnotized himself over and over again that he could give Quanna happiness.

But that's a lie.

Under the impact of so much pain, what is the little warmth he can give to Zunna?

If it weren't for him, Kanna might have been a heavenly being, and might be as beautiful, powerful and holy as the god Bo Xun on the sixth day.But he dragged him into this boundless purgatory, pretending to be his salvation.

Shiva hated himself so much at that moment.

Then, Nana's fingers moved slightly, and he knew that his lover was about to wake up.Just like every past life, he suppressed all his emotions, not letting the suffocating grief and heartache in his heart show at all.Because he knew that Nana hated being pityed and sympathized with, and hated adding more sadness on top of sadness.He distanced himself a little, and forced a relaxed smile on his face.

"you're awake?"

Qian Na's eyes slowly opened, and when she saw him, there was still that intoxicating starlight flickering for a moment.His expression suddenly relaxed a lot, but he also looked very tired. It was clearly a human face, but it seemed to have experienced eternity.

"Shiva."

Gu Na's expression is slowly changing. He is probably thinking about the past 18 years, recalling the brief "love" between him and the prince, recalling the heart-piercing pain when he understood the truth, and his father Cold and disgusted eyes.In the past 1000 years, Zunna has become more and more silent and restrained, but Shiva has long been able to understand his thoughts through the subtle changes in his eyes.But at this time, there was no intense emotion in Kanna's eyes, but a kind of bewilderment that was getting deeper and deeper, a kind of bewilderment that was gradually engraved into his bone marrow.

A kind of loss of resignation that thinks that one is not worthy of being loved and that all pain is one's own due.The irritability and arrogance full of vitality that once burned in the eyes of the green-scaled ghosts have long since disappeared without knowing it, leaving only a blank paleness.

It was at that moment that Shiva made up his mind.

Anyway, he's going to stop it all.

Even if he will die without a place to bury him, as long as he can do his best to change this damned causal order, as long as there is a glimmer of hope that he can be freed from this endless reincarnation, he is willing to do it.

Even if it means that he needs to break his heart, make him completely disappointed in him, even make him hate him.

In this way, Qian Na would not follow him into the bottomless abyss ahead.

Only in this way, if they fail in the future, they will have a chance to survive.And if they succeed... probably there will be someone thousands of times better than him who will love the person he can't continue to love for him.

It's just a pity, he said that if he wants to be with Jianna, life after life... he will break his promise after all.

Everything that followed was blurred in his mind and became a chaos that he didn't want to recall.He remembered that he began to alienate him, deliberately ignored the pain in his eyes, and tried his best to put away his sincerity, leaving only a mask of indifference.The friendship between them has long since faded, because he has too many secrets and too many knots, and the speed of this period of time is passing so fast that he can hardly bear it.They kept arguing and fighting, watching the starlight in Qian Na's eyes gradually cool down, watching his enthusiasm gradually become numb, he knew that the day of their farewell was getting closer.

When Bo Xun started to build the Nirvana Pagoda, he chose to bid farewell to Jianna by the Sansheng Stone.

The boundless manjusawa swayed gently in the dim yellow sky, and the sad colors burned his eyes.He will never forget the pain and unwillingness that could no longer be suppressed on Qianna's face at that time, the tears in Qianna's eyes that he suppressed, and the bloodstain that broke his heart.But all he could say was a pale sorry.

When he turned and left, he thought he was doing the right thing, and he thought he would never regret it.

He is so confident.

When he decided to sacrifice himself for Bo Xun, he also felt that he would not regret it.As long as Bo Xun can give him that future, he will be happy.

But now, he regrets it.

In the excruciating pain of being torn apart, not burned and absorbed, in the fear of being wiped out, in the last moment of his life, when he saw his entire life, he knew he was wrong.

Looking at his life again, he suddenly understood that the only one he wanted was him.

Whether this togetherness can last forever, I don't care at all.Zanna just wants to seize every short moment, he is his green impermanence, he is his red impermanence, life after life, never separated.

But Shiva was blinded by his own guilt, thinking that he was making some great sacrifice.He never really asked Zanna what he wanted, he was just arranging everything for him presumptuously.

He completely hurt Zunna and shattered all possibilities of happiness...

But it was too late, he was disappearing quickly.He only had time to use his last gleam of obsession and exhaust all his last strength to pray, to pray that Bo Xun, this incomparably powerful and beautiful god, could recite everything he had burned and give him everything he deserved.

Can... instead of him, give me that happiness...