I still want to pretend after falling off the horse

That night, Yang Yixin had a dream. The dream was full of bizarre colors, colorful lights flickering, and he was trapped in a dark corner, unable to move. He saw a person throwing a wine bottle at him, but he didn't Dodging, just staring at the man angrily.

Just when the wine bottle was about to hit his head, a slender figure suddenly rushed forward and hugged him, followed by "Boom!" There was a loud noise!

Yang Yixin woke up suddenly, sat up from the bed, covered in cold sweat.

Shang Yuan also woke up, saw him sitting, and asked: "What's the matter, did you have a nightmare?"

Yang Yixin didn't respond.

"Yang Yixin?" Shang Yuan also sat up, turned on the desk lamp, saw his pale face, hollow eyes and abnormal breathing, and immediately woke up.

Shang Yuan remembered his expression, it was like that when he fought with Zheng Jiayu that night.

traumatic stress disorder.

"Yang Yixin!" Shang Yuan stood up and held his face in front of him, "Yang Yixin, wake up, I'm Shang Yuan."

Yang Yixin heard Shang Yuan's voice, but he couldn't hear it clearly.The scene in the dream was too real, as if he fell into a dream for a while, and was pulled out of reality for a while.Suddenly, he felt himself being hugged, the familiar smell and temperature surrounded him, and the distant voice became very close and very clear.

Someone was stroking the back of his neck and touching his forehead, and the voice said, "Don't be afraid, I'm here."

Yang Yixin stared blankly at Shang Yuan, everything in front of him became clear, Shang Yuan's aura was close at hand, and a sense of stability surrounded him, pulling him back to reality.

"Shangyuan." Yang Yixin shouted hoarsely.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Shang Yuan asked.

He threw himself into Shang Yuan's arms, tightly grasping the clothes on his back, "Well, let me hug for a while."

After a while, when Yang Yixin gradually calmed down, Shang Yuan asked, "What nightmare did you have?"

Yang Yixin hugged him, threw him on the bed with all his strength, leaned into his arms, pulled the quilt back and covered him, half of his face was hidden under the quilt and said in a low voice: "It's a very scary dream. I won’t be able to sleep when I come out.”

"Yang Yixin..."

"Can you turn off the light? It's so bright."

Shang Yuan had no choice but to reach out and turn off the desk lamp.

In the dark, Shang Yuan hugged him, and while gently stroking his back with his palm, he asked, "What did you dream about?"

"It's a scary thing." Yang Yixin closed his eyes, "Go to sleep, I'm sleepy."

Shang Yuan frowned, the more he probed, the deeper Yang Yixin shrank himself, making it impossible for him to start.

Although Yang Yixin closed his eyes, he didn't fall asleep all night.The body is already very tired, but the spirit is extremely anxious, so I just lie on the bed and wait silently until dawn.

In the morning, he forced himself to go to class, looking at the densely packed words in the book, he was always prone to distraction.

Ran Feixing came to join classes as soon as he was studying in the morning. He came in through the back door, put his arm on Yang Yixin's shoulders, bent down to look at his papers and said, "That's right, you're the best student, you haven't changed at all."

His movements were very intimate, covering Yang Yixin between his arms, before Yang Yixin could react, Shang Yuan grabbed his wrist and opened it.

"What are you doing?" Ran Feixing looked at him.

Shang Yuan stood up and looked at him. The height of the two was almost the same, and they faced each other in such a way that they did not give in. It was hard to say who was more powerful, and the air was already filled with the smell of gunpowder.

"What do you want to do?" Shang Yuan asked back.

Yang Yixin turned his head, blinked, quickly stood up and inserted himself between them, and first asked Ran Feixing, "Is there anything you can do with me?"

Ran Feixing spread his hands, and said helplessly: "I can't play with you if I have nothing to do? Sitting in the classroom all day long will make you stupid, let's go out and play together!"

Yang Yixin sighed, "There are 10 minutes left for class, I don't have time now, next time."

"Then let's go to the toilet together?"

"...I don't want to go now."

Ran Feixing raised his eyebrows, regretfully said: "Okay, then you study hard, Xueba." He paused, and then said: "Then you always have time at noon, right? What about after school at night?"

"Ye...Ran Feixing, you don't need to make an appointment." Yang Yixin didn't know whether to laugh or cry, "I'll find you when I have time."

"That's a deal, I'll wait for you to come! You must come!" Ran Feixing emphasized several times before leaving. When he left, he glanced at Shang Yuan and showed a sneer.

After coaxing Ran Feixing away, Yang Yixin turned his head, and Shang Yuan had already sat back in his seat with a displeased expression on his face.

Yang Yixin sat next to him and said, "Don't get me wrong, he's been like this since he was a child. I'll make him pay more attention next time."

Shang Yuan turned his head and asked: "Since childhood? He knows our relationship and still treats you like this. Are you stupid or am I stupid?"

"It's easy for boys to be disproportionate. If I were a woman, he would know how to avoid suspicion. The key is that I am a boy. Isn't it normal for boys to hook shoulders and backs?" Yang Yixin said.

"Normal?" Shang Yuan's tone was a little cold, "Okay, then you can explain it clearly to him next time."

After Shang Yuan got up and left, Yang Yixin was taken aback for a moment, and asked, "It's time for class, where are you going?"

Shang Yuan ignored him and left.

Chen Wei turned around and said cautiously: "Baby Yixin, are you in the Shura field?"

"Don't talk nonsense, Ran Feixing and I are just friends." Yang Yixin glared at him.

Chen Wei covered half of his face with a notebook to resist Yang Yixin's stare, and said, "But Brother Yuan is still jealous."

Yang Yixin didn't sleep all night, his head was buzzing, and his temper was also a little irritable, "I don't have anything in the first place, so stop gossip and write your own homework."

When Shang Yuan came back, the two of them didn't speak, and they each wrote the questions in silence. This suffocating silence lasted until night, and they went to bed after taking a shower, still with their backs facing each other.

I don't know how long after turning off the lights, Yang Yixin opened his eyes, quietly turned around and rubbed against Shang Yuan, hugging him from behind.

Despite the Cold War, Yang Yixin still wants to stay by his side, which seems to have become a habit, turning into an almost pathological dependence.

He thought Shang Yuan was asleep, but just as he leaned over, Shang Yuan turned over and hugged him into his arms.

"You didn't sleep." Yang Yixin whispered.

"En." Shang Yuan responded.

"Don't be angry." Yang kissed him flatteringly, "I will keep a distance from him."

Shang Yuan opened his eyes, "It's okay, I'm not angry."

With a smile on Yang Yixin's face, he hugged him tightly.

Even so, Yang Yixin still suffered from insomnia at night, and fell asleep briefly at three or four in the morning when his body couldn't stand it anymore.When the alarm clock rang, he woke up almost instantly.

He got up to take a shower, maintaining a delicate balance between exhaustion and sobriety.Looking at himself in the mirror, he couldn't help pointing at "him" and said, "Calm down, don't think about it anymore, it's all over."

But the more he wanted to calm down, the more a voice in his mind forced him: "Are you okay with it? Can you really pretend that nothing happened? Ran Feixing doesn't want to pursue it, so can you escape?"

do not talk!do not talk!do not talk!

Yang Yixin hugged his head, clenched his hands into fists, and hit his forehead hard twice, trying in vain to clear up these voices.

Shang Yuan knocked on the glass outside the door, "Haven't you finished washing your face yet? You're going to be late."

Yang Yixin responded, washed his face again with cold water, adjusted his expression before opening the door and said, "If I'm late, you have to be late too."

Shang Yuan looked at him, then suddenly reached out and wiped his eyes with his thumb, and asked, "Didn't sleep well at night? There are dark circles under my eyes."

Yang Yixin grabbed his hand, cleverly turned the topic back to him and said, "You also have dark circles."

"is it?"

"Look in the mirror if you don't believe me, you're just laughing at fifty steps." Yang Yixin smiled, and asked him to look in the mirror, but pushed him away, "Hurry up, I'm a three-good student, I can't late!"

No matter how much Yang Yixin tried to hide it, he still couldn't restrain his physical fatigue.In English class, he was so drowsy with his head propped up that he didn't even notice that the English teacher walked to the side.

The class was quiet and everyone was working on the problems. The English teacher looked at Yang Yixin with the book, first to save face for him, but seeing that he didn't notice him, he finally couldn't help knocking on his desk.

Yang Yixin woke up suddenly, his expression was still a little dazed.

"Stand up when you're sleepy," said the English teacher.

Yang Yixin stood up without saying a word.

Coincidentally, the dean was on patrol, and it was rare to catch a good student making a mistake. He walked in and said sadly: "Yang Yixin, you are a student representative, why do you sleep in class?"

"He did the questions very late at night." Shang Yuan said.

"Did I ask you? Write your own!" The dean still didn't take a good look at Shang Yuan. Since the wig was blown off in front of Shang Yuan last time, he was about to have a heart attack when he saw Shang Yuan.

Yang Yixin pressed Shang Yuan's shoulder to prevent him from conflicting with the dean, and said sincerely, "I'm sorry teacher, I shouldn't sleep in class."

The dean snorted coldly at Shang Yuan, turned his head towards Yang Yixin with a slightly better attitude, but pointed at Sang and scolded Huai: "Everyone makes mistakes, but you have to be brave enough to admit your mistakes, and you can correct them if you know them. It's not okay to blindly avoid and deny mistakes. If you make a small mistake now, you will make a big mistake later. Yang Yixin, tell me, did you do something wrong?"

Blindly avoiding and denying mistakes...

Small mistakes now, big mistakes later...

Yang Yixin, did you do something wrong?

That's right, why didn't you dare to say it after you did it?

See how wrong you are...

You just escape.

Do you really think no one will know?

He is your best friend.

hypocritical!hypocritical!Selfish!cowardly!

You killed her!She is so good to you!

Yang Yixin suddenly felt his stomach churning. He slammed the dean away and rushed to the trash can to vomit. All the food he ate in the morning surged up from his stomach and vomited into the trash can.

Forget it!Forget it!Forget it!

He vomited everything in his stomach, but he couldn't stop retching until he could only vomit acid water from his stomach.

"Yang Yixin!" Shang Yuan's expression changed drastically, and he rushed over to support him.

"What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?" The English teacher and the dean also hurried over.

"Water is here!" Chen Wei opened a bottle of water and ran over to pass it to Shang Yuan.

Countless pairs of eyes looked back worriedly.Yang Yixin felt these concerned gazes, but turned his head to avoid them.These gazes made him shiver, as if he was a clown under the spotlight in the middle of the stage, and there was nowhere to hide from all the ugly things.

He pushed away the water fed to his mouth, and whispered to Shang Yuan, "Go to the infirmary."

Shang Yuan picked him up on his back and walked straight out.

The dean wiped the sweat off his face, asked the English teacher to take care of the class, and followed Shang Yuan to the infirmary.

Yang Yixin leaned on Shang Yuan's shoulder, closed his eyes and murmured weakly: "I was wrong."

Hearing that he was still struggling with some good questions, the teaching director hurriedly said, "It's understandable that you don't feel well, don't think about it, you should take a good rest now!"

Yang Yixin opened his eyes, and repeated with some firmness in his eyes: "I was wrong. You are right, you should admit you made a mistake."