Nashan Nahe

Zhang Zuolin sits on the most fertile and rich Northeast land in China, but every spring he fights with warlords from all over the world. In 1924, during the second Zhifeng campaign, the Feng army defeated Wu Peifu's troops. Zhang Zuolin was complacent and decided to "do it big again" A large number of Feng troops invaded and occupied the southern provinces. Guo Songling, who was the deputy commander of Zhang Zuolin's Jingyu garrison headquarters at the time, learned of Zhang Zuolin's large-scale purchase of weapons and his pressing on the south. The Northeast is the gate of China, and there are thousands of people there, but Zhang Zuolin occupies such a territory, but he never cherishes it. Constantly, the land was trampled, the people had no way to live, many young people were conscripted into the army, either dead or injured, orphans at home, and most of them were in a difficult situation. Finally, at the end of 1925, Guo Songling was forced to raise troops and occupied Suiyuan via Qinhuangdao and Shanhaiguan. , Jinzhou, until the west bank of the Juliu River, facing the ice and snow, in order to allow the army to rest, they stayed for a few days, but they did not know that Zhang Zuolin's troops on the other side resorted to the psychological warfare of eating Zhang's food and not fighting Zhang's family. Guo Songling's troops in Fengjun were temporarily distracted. At the last moment, the chief of staff around him almost became Zhang Zuolin's internal support. The uprising failed. Guo Songling could have left quickly in order to make a comeback, but the few civil servants and his wife around him Han Shuying couldn't ride a horse, and couldn't bear to abandon it. A group of people drove a carriage to avoid Zhang Zuolin's pursuit, but in the end, they were still arrested. On December 1925, 12, Guo Songling and his wife Han Shuying were executed by shooting and left dead for three days.

That winter was really cold, and the corpse was covered with thick ice on the city gate, like the hearts of the people in the Northeast, no one dared to cry, no one dared to look at it!

Many years later, I still naively thought that if Guo Songling had not given Zhang Zuolin a chance to breathe when he was on the west bank of the Juliu River, he had worked hard and succeeded in the uprising, and the Northeast had a chance for peaceful development, and the people would live in peace and prosperity, and there would be future generations. Are these sufferings?However, Guo Songling failed in the end. Surrounding the west bank of the Juliu River, and Shenyang was almost lit up for a night, that failed battle, in a sense, rewrote the modern history of China, and each of us...

In school, after learning of Guo Songling's defeat, they all sighed. The students wrote articles, wrote poems, and secretly praised Guo Songling's righteous deeds. However, He Buwei and I never participated in these ever-changing current events. Why she is, I don't know, but I know, my mission is to study!But it turns out that I was too naive!

After the third year of junior high school, it is natural to go to high school. Why not her English and math scores are not satisfactory. I also try to help her make up lessons, but maybe everyone has their own ambitions. No matter how she studies, her English scores are still at the bottom of the class. But fortunately, the style of study at that time was not about grades, but about talent. This talent can be in various aspects, or in a certain aspect. Although there are many wars outside, the school has never slacked off on daily teaching. As usual, Accompanied by the sound of gunfire, the exam was going on as scheduled, and I passed the test smoothly. Why didn't you almost hand in a blank paper for English, but got full marks for literature and history? Several teachers, after several discussions, gave her 60 points on the blank paper for English. She told me I read the first year of high school together, which made me sweat in my heart!

The schools are all bungalows. We sat on a small mound in the campus and got the grades. Why didn’t it seem to be expected? Maybe it’s her character, and it’s not necessarily a surprise. I want to tell her that English is the You did two questions and you were all wrong. You should study English hard, and then thank the teacher who corrected the paper. Otherwise, you are still in the third year of junior high school.After thinking about it, it’s all right, I always feel that she is different from me, reading is not her ambition!

But she just looked at me like that and didn't speak. After a long while, she took out a book from behind her. She was a little embarrassed and handed it to me with the back side up. The book was not thick, and it was a little damaged. , is the anthology of Ximenez, after giving me the book, she did not look at me, put her hands back on the ground, raised her head, and said "thank you"

I smiled, I don't want to ask her, thank me for what? ...

In spring, the school organizes an outing. No matter what, young people should not be kept in the yard because of external reasons. This is what my father said. After making arrangements and making sure nothing happened, we went to Bohai Bay together. A group of young people who have not gone out for a long time , laughing happily at the beach, making noise, reciting poetry collections, or reciting poems against each other, seems to have forgotten those heartaches, why not sit with me on the reef on the shore, we didn’t say anything, but, I feel, I I held her hand, she didn't look at me, she smiled against the sea breeze, it's not that I haven't held hands with her before, but it was all in the panic of escaping to the air-raid shelter, now I'm facing the sea, holding her hand , I'm still flustered, I don't know why...

On the way back, the sky was getting dark and the wind was blowing. Why not walk in front with my father and a group of classmates, and I chatted with a few female classmates in the back. We walked a lot slower and passed a reef. After climbing a small hillside, I could see the group of people walking away. When I came down from the hillside, why didn’t you wait for me there? I walked over and took her hand. Suddenly, she took her I ran forward, I heard her laughing, and I was laughing too, the laughter and the whistling sea wind in my ears, I remember, after seeing me at the bottom of the hill, there was a trace of imperceptible and strong joy in her eyes, And at that moment, the joy I buried in my heart!

In order to prevent Feng's warships from attacking Dagukou in Tianjin and threatening the safety of Beiping, Feng Yuxiang's national army laid mines in the waterway of Dagukou in Tianjin and prohibited all merchant ships from entering.However, the Japanese ships kept dissuading them, forcibly breaking through the customs, and using ship-borne machine guns to bombard Dagukou. Some military books, I am still immersed in my poems and books for young girls. I used to hear the sound of cannons, but now I can still see the shells falling from a distance. I don’t know how long these days have lasted intermittently.

But the weekend is still the happiest day for me, because I can go home and go home with Why Buwei, there are ruins along the way, and there are many corpses on the side of the road, some died of bombing, some died of illness, I think, more Yes, I should have starved to death. I feel sad and afraid, and even think, one day, will we lie here too?A group of boys chatted with their father and walked ahead, and occasionally glanced at the dead body on the side of the road. This sight made me very sad. It is impossible for them to see the dead body at school, but when they saw the dead body on the street, there was something in their eyes. Is that indifferent?For a moment, I even wanted to go there and tell those boys, don't go to my house!You are not welcome in my family!But think about it, what is wrong with others?What if you are not used to this kind of world?Do you faint when you see a dead body? How many times a day do you have to faint?Let's see why not, with a blank face, head held high, like a soldier, who seems to be unable to see anything else, walking straight forward with big strides.

Suddenly, she walked in front of me and bent down, I was a little puzzled

"what happened?"

"Come up, I'll carry you on my back, the way back is not short" she said with her back to me

After thinking about it, I still lay on her back. I was a little clumsy in the padded robe. She moved, adjusted her posture, carried me on her back, and turned her head to whisper in my ear

"Don't be afraid, lie on my back, close your eyes, and you'll be home in a while."

I smelled the faint smell of cotton oil soap on her body, an indescribable fragrance, which made me feel at ease!This fragrance does not match her heroic face!Thinking of this, I just lay on her thin shoulders, buried my head, and laughed silently.But laughing and laughing, I stopped, I thought she was not unresponsive to those dead bodies on the street, nor was she cold, nor was she afraid, her attitude and performance, maybe she was helpless!I didn't look up, just lying on my stomach like this, after a while I heard my father say in front

"Why are you still letting it go on your back?"

"No, Han Jiayu isn't feeling well, and it's not far away. I'll be there in a while."

Han Jiayu, even though we've known each other for a few years, she still calls me that, and I too, why not still call her...

My mother is busy in the kitchen, why not help her, I just look at her at the door, add firewood to the fire, then get up from time to time to look at the pot on the stove, and occasionally turn my head and smile at me, I don’t speak, He didn't respond to her smile, just looked at her like that.

In the evening, I sent a group of boys to the main road. When my father came back, my mother was boiling water for bathing. The conditions of the school are a bit rough, and taking a bath is not so easy. This small courtyard was opened when my mother brought me and my siblings to Tianjin to find my father. I rented it. The yard is not big. There is a main room and a side room. The side room is more spacious. My parents and younger siblings live there. There is also a small room in the yard, which is my room. There is a bed and a room full of books. , my father also built a log cabin for bathing.

In the past, I would wash first, and then she would wash, so this is the first time that He Buwei and I take a bath together. I don’t know what’s going on. Although we are two girls, I am very embarrassed, shy, and nervous. She turned around, took off her shirt and trousers, and looked back at me

"What's the matter? You're not used to it? I can go out and wash it later"

"No, you wash it." I didn't dare to look at her, so I turned around and began to dally remove the clothes one by one. There was a big wooden bucket. We were both very thin. We stood in it together, and she wiped it for me. With my body bent, I lowered my head, not daring to lift it up, come over for a while, why don't you ask me

"Jiayu? What's wrong?"

When "nothing" said this, I suddenly raised my head, and I was no longer shy or coy, because the joy in my heart replaced my shyness, I heard her calling me Jiayu, we just looked at each other like this, she Smiling and looking at me, the towel in my hand was still wet with water, helping me to scrub, I felt that her magical eyes were about to suffocate me, I stepped forward, hugged her, the lips were soft The touch made me wake up, yes, I kissed her, she still smiled and touched my head, her smile, in a small room, in the hot air, made me confused and greedy ...

In the middle of a deep sleep at night, the faint sound of explosions woke me up, with panic, I kept approaching why not, just looking for instinct, approaching her temperature, but I didn’t know that she had already woken up, I felt, I fell into Her warm embrace, looking up at her, she smiled and comforted me softly

"Not afraid, huh?" Comforting, but asking me again, this made me not know what to do, I have a feeling of being loved and cherished in my heart, which is different from my parents' love for me Feeling, I have never had it before, but I want to keep it... I took her to turn over and leaned on me. She was a little surprised, but I knew that she was also looking forward to something. The school is carrying out new education. As a high school student , our body and physical knowledge are not bad, there is no extra movement, no extra words, I just remember, that moment, it hurts, but I don't want her to stop, she saw the fine beads of sweat on my forehead, she felt distressed almost in tears

"Are you feeling better?" She asked, hugging me tightly.

"Yeah" is just this one word, I don't know what else I can say, I don't think my behavior is shameful, but I also admit that at that time, I didn't know what love is

"I, I, we, it will be difficult in the future" She said almost to herself, I didn't answer, and I didn't study the meaning of the words carefully, I only know that I'm leaning in her arms now, so With her, listening to her heartbeat like a drum, I feel at ease.

Early the next morning, my mother asked me why there was blood on the bed?I was caught off guard by the question, and I was at a loss for words, so why didn't I answer right away, it was her menstruation, and my mother took the broom in her hand, afraid that she would feel uncomfortable, let her rest, don't do anything, and said, at noon She trims her hair and cooks fish for her. I see why not because of the shame and guilt in her eyes. I feel that this is for my mother, for my family, and for me. If I am ashamed of my family, I have nothing to say. for me?This makes me a little uncomfortable...

It was 1926 and I was 16 years old...

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