Even so, I still like you

What is the most embarrassing thing about being in love?

It's not about licking the dog until you have nothing left, nor being kicked away when you run out of spare tires, nor is it thundering and begging for reunion at minus ten degrees, but letting your boyfriend climax in his mouth while listening to him shouting "Farewell" people.

The living room was dead silent.

Shen Tongguang's calf twitched slightly, and slid down his lover's broad and strong shoulders without any strength.He stared at the ceiling in a daze, his sanity was ablated by alcohol, and he didn't even realize what happened.

Zhang Yuhang looked at him in disbelief for a few seconds, then suddenly got up and walked quickly into the bathroom.

Turning on the faucet to the maximum, he picked up the cold water and rinsed his mouth vigorously. After repeated several times, he suddenly raised his head and saw that the eyes of the person in the mirror were red as if they were about to bleed.

So ridiculous, so ironic.Hearing the rumbling sound in his ears, Zhang Yuhang thought, Shen Tongguang, how cheap I am in your eyes, so cheap that you throw my heart on the ground and step on it repeatedly, am I still human.

While waiting for him to open the door again, Shen Tongguang couldn't bear to solve it again by himself. He was blushing from the torture of desire/desire, made a small sound from his mouth, and blinked his eyes slowly a few times, ignoring the mess of his body. , and fell asleep exhausted in an instant.

A, B, C, and D groups were on his stomach, and a pair of pale green eyes stared straight at Zhang Yuhang, and let out a meow.

Zhang Yuhang walked over slowly and squatted down.He looked at Shen Tongguang's mouth slightly open, his angel-like white and flawless cheeks, and his eyelashes stretched like a small fan, which would sweep across his eyelids when kissing.

He looked at it for a long time, as if he wanted to engrave this face in his heart, then he reached out and hugged Jia, B, Bingding, and whispered against the kitten's ear, "You and I can go."

A, B, B, D, and Ding curled up obediently in his arms, turned their heads, their eyes were still looking at Shen Tongguang, and they couldn't figure out what was going on.

Holding the cat in one hand, Zhang Yuhang went to the sofa and pulled a thin blanket and threw it on Shen Tongguang. Shen Tongguang unconsciously said "huh", turned his head to the other side, and a bright blue diamond slipped out of his collar .

Zhang Yuhang felt as if his eyes had been stabbed by a needle, and the action was ahead of his brain. He suddenly bent down and grabbed the necklace tightly, and had the urge to tear it off in an instant.

When he came back to his senses, he realized that Shen Tongguang's neck had been pulled red in a thin circle.

After such a stalemate for a moment, he finally gritted his teeth and let go of his fingers, took the backpack, hugged the cat, and left this small home with countless memories alone.

He has enough patience to wait for Shen Tongguang, but he cannot accept that there is another person living in his heart.

From school to work, to intimacy, he has never been anyone's backup option, and he will never be in the future.He cannot be crushed by love.

At the age of 22, the evening breeze was warm, and Zhang Yuhang was walking aimlessly on the street with the cat in his arms. His slender fingers still had blisters from being accidentally burned while cooking.

He tried his best to numb his twisted heart, not thinking about Shen Tongguang, how the hell you could treat me like this, he could only hold on to the remaining pride and self-esteem, and never looked back once.

Fast forward to June, and the whole world seems to be filtered by summer. Everything is bright, every day is sunny, and the air is filled with the sweet fragrance of flowers.

At the end of the noon get out of class, a group of students poured out like dumplings from University A, all of them were full of collagen, and walked to the snack street together with laughter and nostalgia.

When Jiang Yun left the school gate, she couldn't help whispering, "He's here again."

The thin and pale person standing under the banyan tree at the school gate had been here for more than half a month, but Zhang Yuhang's answer was still a calm "hmm".

The sight that fell on his body was very hot, but he didn't even look at him from the corner of his eye, and strode forward without looking sideways.

It is inconvenient to rent a house with a cat. The building that Jiang Yun rented just happened to be moved out. The furniture is very complete, suitable for quiet preparation for the exam, and you can move in with your bags. The landlord asked for an extra fee to keep the cat. He signed it immediately after seeing it contract.

The neighborhood is very close to the school, and it only takes a few minutes to walk. When crossing the road, Jiang Yun looked back at the people following them, and couldn't help but ask, "What did he do to make you so angry?"

Shen Tongguang was as pitiful as a stray dog ​​with a drooping tail all day long, and he didn't dare to come up to them, so he followed them silently, even she couldn't stand it anymore.

But no matter what the reason was, she knew it must be very serious, otherwise Zhang Yuhang, who was on the verge of falling in love before, would never be so cruel.

"It's nothing." Zhang Yuhang glanced at the phone flatly, "I figured it out, I don't want to be cheap anymore."

The warm wind blew his words lightly into the ear of the person behind him.

Shen Tongguang lowered his head unconsciously, staring at the shadow on the toe of his shoe in embarrassment, which belonged to Zhang Yuhang.

He was clearly close at hand, but he didn't even have the courage to go up and stop him.

Sobering up that day was like the sky falling for him. If he could really turn back time, he really wanted to go back and stab himself to death.

A person like him is obviously not going to cause any harm to Zhang Yuhang.

Zhang Yuhang should live his life smoothly, have a great future, be invincible, and be used to looking down at the bottom of the pyramid in the elite echelon. After a few years of graduation, he will be able to talk and laugh happily with people with a glass of wine in his hand. Don't worry that no one loves him.

But once or twice, over and over again, he actually used his own wounds to hurt him - why should he, what is Shen Tongguang?Hiding in a small house and living empty days, nothing but waste from the past and no future.

I was desperate to forget about it, don’t delay Zhang Yuhang anymore, but my head can’t control it, I just miss him, sometimes when I suddenly see his things, I feel my blood coagulates, so I just endure the pain of my heart being hollowed out and tidy them up Put it in a big box.The matching slippers, toothbrush, pajamas, mug, and A, B, and C cat litter toys were packed up and Zhang Yuhang was asked to pick them up, but there was no reply. He couldn't bear to throw them away.

Shen Tongguang spent many days in a chaotic state, without feeling hungry, and his emotions were always on the verge of collapse. Loneliness was like countless tiny insects eating him away.

Sometimes he burst into tears when he was in a daze, and kept looking through their chat records and photos at night until he fell asleep from sleepiness. He turned the pillow over and over again, and both sides were wet and cold.

That's how he realized that he was really in love with Zhang Yuhang.

He once thought that he was completely insulated from "love", but at that moment, he suddenly understood what it was like to be revived.

Like some kind of survival instinct, the body moved by itself.

When Shen Tongguang went to block people at the school gate for the first time, he didn't know how loose the senior year's schedule was. He stood under the sun for a whole day, and his skin peeled off, which was comparable to the military training of freshmen in school.

After waiting and looking forward to it, at least in the evening, I stopped Zhang Yuhang who had finished correcting his thesis from the library.

He rushed forward dizzily, trying to put on a flattering smile on his lips, he didn't know what to do, and wanted to make a fuss with that gag: "Zhang Yuhang——Cold War is Cold War, how did you abduct my daughter!"

The other party seemed to find it funny, the sharp eyebrows twitched, and he turned his head to look at him with rather indifferent eyes, as if looking at a stranger.

"Well, I, I mean..." Shen Tongguang was so anxious that his tongue tied up, "I'm sorry."

Zhang Yuhang glanced lightly at his peeling nose and cracked lips, paused for a moment, and quickly said calmly, "Go away."

They have been together for several months and have never said such a serious word.

Shen Tongguang was stunned, and then ran away in a hurry like a dog that had been kicked hard.