mismatch pheromone

Zhou Xi is soaking in Yu Jinghai's liquor-flavored pheromone at the moment, feeling warm, compared to drinking too much, and his head is quite dizzy. Whatever Yu Jinghai said, he said yes, no problem .

So Yu Jinghai began to speak with a strong voice: "Say there is a man, he heard a man outside the window shouting to kill him when he was sleeping... He felt that it was over and something big was going to happen. , he quickly got up and went to the window to have a look, but guess what? The man outside is teaching his wife to reverse the car."

"..."

After Yu Jinghai finished telling a joke, seeing that the daughter-in-law in his arms didn't respond at all, his heart skipped a beat.

He's screwed too, it's not funny.

He didn't give up even if he couldn't do one, and he continued to talk, bringing out all the funny things in "The King of Jokes" he had read, and said: "Snow White ran out of the palace, not into the forest, and saw the cabin and the seven Is there a cot? By night the seven dwarfs are back..."

"Snow White asked if they were the seven dwarfs she was destined for, and the seven dwarfs told her in embarrassment that they had gone to the wrong place. We are Vajra gourd babies."

After the little joke about the seven gourd babies and Snow White was finished, the air was silent for a few seconds.

Zhou Xi suddenly stretched out a hand, pinned Yu Jinghai's stubbled head, and called him softly, "Okay, gourd baby."

Yu Jinghai looked bewildered, puzzled, but he knew that the joke was not funny anyway.

He told many jokes, but Zhou Xi didn't even laugh.

The man's desire to conquer was burning, and he had to win the battle no matter what.

He tensed his rough browbones, and continued to tell jokes with great momentum, until he used the last one in his inventory:

"A relative of a man came to see him in a big city, and he took him to a high-end restaurant for dinner. The service fee of that restaurant is expensive, so the service attitude of the waiter is very good, and they also send fruits, snacks, and souvenirs..."

"After the meal, the relative asked the waiter, what else do you bring? The waiter said, we will take you out in a while."

After Yu Jinghai finished speaking, he laughed twice, thinking it was quite funny, this waiter is really clever.

As a result, there was only his laughter around, and his partner was not teased by him the whole time, so he never laughed a single sound.

Yu Jinghai couldn't help squinting his eyes, and lowered his head to glance at Zhou Xi who was nestling quietly on his chest. If he couldn't still feel those little rubbing movements, he would be able to fall asleep for others.

"It's not funny at all?" Yu Jinghai muttered sullenly, that joke book was bought so old that it was worthless, it was useless, and it couldn't even make his wife laugh, it was a failure.

But in fact, it’s not all due to the joke book, nor is it all due to him. Everyone’s jokes are different.

Yu Jinghai's daily speech is honest and sincere, and if he tells jokes, the sense of humor will be completely lost. He has tried his best to control the rhythm, but the effect is still similar to reading a text.

Zhou Xi was not amused by the jokes, but seeing him struggling with his sense of humor and complaining about the poor joke book made him want to laugh.

Zhou Xi was about to raise her head and give him a kiss to appease the security comrade.

In the next second, Yu Jinghai's cheering voice suddenly came from his ear: "Ah Xi, then I will tell you another way."

Before Zhou Xi could stop, Yu Jinghai eagerly memorized the new version of the "joke".

"Ah Xi, when I met you, the Buddha told me four words - doomed."

An inappropriate premonition suddenly rose in Zhou Xi's heart.

Yu Jinghai's "joke" is still outputting: "Let me do the math and find that I lack you in the five elements."

"Jinghai..." Zhou Xi murmured, the voice was too low, the man who was hugging him didn't hear him at all, and he talked fast on his own.

"Ah Xi, I must have eaten too much salt recently."

Zhou Xi's face showed a little confusion, he couldn't follow the exact track of this strange "joke", and didn't know how to respond for a moment.

"So I'm always free (salty) thinking about you."

The Chinese teacher was defeated by the homonym stalk, and secretly sighed that he had miscalculated.

"Ah Xi, can you play the guitar?"

"?" Zhou Xi showed doubts on his face, unable to tell what type of joke this was, and immediately thought about the musical instrument he knew. He had indeed touched the guitar before, and he was not proficient, but only knew the basics.

When he was about to answer the correct answer, Yu Jinghai's deep voice slipped into his ears again.

"Otherwise why would you touch my heartstrings?"

Zhou Xi was stunned for a moment, and gradually became distracted.

"Ah Xi, is the big tonic soup I made for you yesterday delicious?" Yu Jinghai asked again suddenly.

Zhou Xi understood some routines, but didn't know where to start next, so she answered honestly, "It's delicious."

Yu Jinghai was overjoyed when he saw that he had spoken to him, and felt that this trick was very effective, so he said boldly: "I wandered around in the first half of my life, and I will cook soup for you in the second half of my life."

A wonderful flower shadow appeared in front of Zhou Xi's eyes in a trance.

"Ah Xi, let's go eat purple potatoes together tomorrow?"

"...Ah? Why—" He went straight to eat, and Zhou Xi couldn't finish asking this question.

Yu Jinghai's lips stuck to the base of his ears, and he sucked out a thick breath, "Ah Xi, my purple potato (only) belongs to you."

Even though she knew it was a routine, Zhou Xi's little heart was still uncontrollably sunken into a corner, so soft that she could not help but catch it.

"Ah Xi, I want to ask you the way."

"What, the way?" Mr. Zhou, who was particularly dazed at this moment, subconsciously took the words.

"The way to your heart."

No, I'm really going to be dazed by this person, I should stop, if this goes on——

Unable to hold back, Yu Jinghai quickly entered the final sentence: "Ah Xi, do you like me? I have to find out the repeated words in this sentence."

Zhou Xi really went through every word in the words carefully in her mind.

For things related to words, the Chinese teacher who answers questions really wants to blurt out the word "yes" along the way of thinking.

At this moment, there was a sudden rustling sound from the grass behind the bench, and a half figure stood up straight from the grass.

"It's so annoying! What kind of earthy love stories are you reciting at night! Are you sick?!"

The sharp and aggressive male voice burst out immediately after, and the two people who were crooked together on the bench turned their heads in shock.

I saw a young guy sitting in the grass, his rather sinister face was full of impatience.

The young man drooped his eyelids and stared at the couples on the bench one by one. When he stared at Zhou Xi, his eyes froze, he let out a groan, and grinned at the corner of his mouth: "Teacher Zhou? Coincidentally, no!"

He stood up with his pockets in his pockets, his shoulders were slightly tilted to one side, and he looked at him with the look of a hooligan.

"Sun Mingyue?"

Zhou Xi recognized the person, and couldn't help frowning. This was a student he had taught in Quzhong before.

Quzhong is a school with a poor reputation in the city, and there are many bad students, and Sun Mingyue is the most typical poor student, and also the real school bully in that area. Compared with Li Sheng, he is even worse.

He can be so arrogant, not only because of his dissolute temper, but also because of a certain backer behind him who is not easy to mess with.

Zhou Xi and him have no holidays, each school has its own rules, some invisible rules are for dealing with these poor students, to put it bluntly, it means ignoring them and turning a blind eye.

Sun Mingyue graduated the year before last, and Zhou Xi was later transferred away. The relationship between students and teachers is just a past tense.

But it didn't prevent Zhou Xi from maintaining a bad impression of this kind of students, nor could it stop Sun Ming from being more reckless.

"Ms. Zhou, is this a date? A new date?" Sun Mingyue smiled and squinted at the former teacher and the man next to the current teacher.

When he was studying in Quzhong, he also knew a lot of gossip. Zhou Xi was dating a lawyer at the time, and this incident was one of the gossip in the school.

Who made Zhou Xi young, capable and good-looking, and became the most popular teacher as soon as he entered Quzhong, and the gossip of influential figures would surely spread to every corner of the school.

Zhou Xi ignored Sun Mingyue's teasing, he kept silent, and Yu Jinghai was also silent, not talking much, just listening.

"Is this uncle the teacher's current boyfriend?" Sun Mingyue stepped out of the grass, took a rough look at Yu Jinghai with the help of the weak light, and said with a sneer, "This appearance...is very different from that of your former lawyer, teacher, Your taste has become 'big' enough."

In fact, he had never seen what Zhou Xi's lawyer boyfriend looked like back then. It was all based on guesswork. At first glance, the profession of lawyers basically looked like a well-dressed elite, but Yu Jinghai in front of him had a simple and unpretentious demeanor from head to toe.

What's more, he was lying in the haystack to sleep just now, and was forced to listen to a lot of earthy love stories, which was annoying and even more earthy.

"This one looks really unpalatable." Sun Mingyue complained provocatively, "Tsk. Teacher Zhou, why are you wronging yourself? If you want to change a tree, you have to pick a tree that can be sold. It's not easy to tell a joke. The love story is absolutely incomparable to this tree."

Zhou Xi's brows frowned instantly, he never liked to argue with others, especially when facing such a ruffian who was not well educated and of low quality.

Yu Jinghai, who was standing beside him, still didn't say a word. Sun Mingyue was not so polite to Zhou Xi at the moment, but the mocking was just mocking him, he didn't mock Zhou Xi, and Zhou Xi didn't say anything, so he wouldn't act casually.

Zhou Xi turned around immediately, and was about to pull Yu Jinghai away, but Sun Mingyue stepped forward and stopped him.

He hasn't complained enough, and he hasn't vented enough grievances about being disturbed, how can Zhou Xi ignore him and walk away easily.

"Mr. Zhou, is it real or fake? This is your boyfriend? I think it's fake, otherwise I have to suspect that you have a problem with aesthetics. If it's true, you are so sorry for those students who love you to death..."

He just had to find fault.

Zhou Xi's eyes were cold, the corners of her mouth were pursed, and then she spoke, her words were clear and firm, "Since you still call me teacher, you should know some etiquette, and since you know he is your teacher's target, you should be more polite. I The partner is very good, I just like his taste, and it's not your turn to comment."