doomed in dream

Although Chen Jiuqi really wanted to clarify her innocence, especially knowing that there would soon be new rumors about her and her innocence, the sudden clarification also felt like there was no silver 300 taels here, so she still restrained herself. Conquering her intuition, she turned to ask Qu Fengyang what was the result of checking her own class.

From Qu Fengyang, Chen Jiuqi identified the photos and names, and finally confirmed that they are all from her school, and there is no abnormality: "It seems that your class is probably not the main battlefield. It is very good, then I will observe Shen Guoxin's class. Let’s talk about the situation—oh, add a WeChat, and I’ll talk to you privately if there’s a situation.”

Qu Fengyang said he was very happy, and suddenly thought of something: "Oh, I also heard that your international department is going to play a basketball exchange game with a foreign school in the suburbs this weekend. Are you going?"

Oh, is it by this time?Chen Jiuqi nodded. She knew that she went to this game. After all, there were only a few girls playing basketball in the international department. She was sent to the senior sisters to play in the U18 group, and then their team was beaten by British girls who were a whole head taller. Grass is coming, but fortunately, the opponent is very gentlemanly and stopped after the score difference reached 10.

"Your squad leader said that you can bring your family members, even those from other classes."

Of course Chen Jiuqi understood her hint, but he couldn't help but a black line appeared on his face: "Are you really going to come?"

"We can't trigger the school's drama on weekends. At least you can get in touch with Shen Guoxin's classmate in this event—I know she won't go."

"I'm afraid you'll be bored. After all, you don't know most of my classmates. What's the point of going there just to sit on the bench? I'll pay attention to Shen Guoxin's affairs—of course, it's okay if you want to go. I'll tell my roommate. That's fine, she's in charge."

Chen Jiuqi doesn't mind being seen in a crushing defeat. After all, she hasn't played basketball for 100 years since she started working, and she can still be called abnormal in front of her classmates. To Qu Fengyang, it won't be considered embarrassing at all.

"Well, I want to go."

That's why, on the bus to the foreign school on Friday, Chen Jiuqi carried a tent in addition to his own bag, while most of the people brought sleeping bags.

And, Qu Fengyang, who was only told by Chen Jiuqi to bring a travel suit and banknotes, was left empty-handed.

Among the people who went with him this time, as Qu Fengyang expected, there was no Shen Guoxin, but there were Xuan'er, Xiao Liu and her boyfriend.

That is to say, seeing this situation, Chen Jiuqi regretted that he didn't stop Qu Fengyang from coming, because these people thought Qu Fengyang was troublesome;

I am also a little glad that Qu Fengyang came over, because if I want to play the game seriously, I probably don't have time to talk to three people at the same time.

In the end, the roommate in charge was the first to make trouble. The other party sat behind Chen Jiuqi and the others, and when he approached them, he spoke with obvious eccentricity and hidden displeasure. Only the text itself seemed like gossip nonsense: "Chen sir, you are so true Are you bringing your family?"

"Well, isn't the rule that only family members can be brought along?" Chen Jiuqi decided to admit it directly, "Otherwise I wouldn't dare to bring along."

The roommate let out a "ha", fell back on the backrest and stopped, and after a while couldn't help but leaned over: "Chen sir, you are entertaining me! When did you meet? Aren't you still familiar with me on the day of the mid-term exam?"

"No way? So you're actually the school girl's hidden fan girl?"

Chen Jiuqi, who was sitting on the outside, turned his head to look at his roommate, but felt that Qu Fengyang had relentlessly hammered her on the back, almost causing her to lose her balance and fall out.

The roommate hesitated for a while, and only said: "No, no, it's too strange, who would have thought that you would bring her here, do you think there are people in the liberal arts class here?"

"Is that so? You lend me the list, I recognize the people, and the family members who I don't know are worth [-]."

Chen Jiuqi glanced at the A4 paper that his roommate had just used for the roll call, and immediately got to the point of speaking. Seeing that his roommate had agreed, he turned his head and said to Qu Fengyang, "In ordinary classes, the school belle should know a lot."

"You can call me by my name." Qu Fengyang whispered, not gnashing his teeth, but the meaning of protest was obvious.

Chen Jiuqi let out an "uh" and suddenly realized that he basically didn't give the other party any titles. Except for being angry or warning him to call him by his full name, he would omit addressing Qu Fengyang in normal conversations. Maybe in a sense, he deliberately avoided it. The so-called address can always be accurately known as a dialogue with oneself, which can be regarded as an ambiguous tacit understanding.

The roommate handed over the list, and because of Chen Jiuqi's good memory, she knew that there were five names she didn't recognize after scanning it almost once. Their faces matched each other, and when they confirmed the two boys in their hearts, they heard Qu Fengyang whispering in his ear: "They are all the names of my classmates in junior high school, but they are all their own faces."

"Aren't you a lot of junior high school students who went straight to our high school?"

"Ang, we lock the area, and those who fail to pass the test in other areas and have better grades can only come here."

Chen Jiuqi took a picture of the list with his mobile phone, and after returning the things to his roommate, he tilted his head on Qu Fengyang's shoulder. Although he did not clearly reconcile—in a sense, it may be because the other party did not have the courage to ask a second time— —

But a year of cultivation travel is long enough for Chen Jiuqi to let go of his grievances and let his body instinctively wander here and there: "Then I'm at a loss. I'm the top 1% of the city. Inner ordinary city focus."

"But I earned it?" Qu Fengyang straightened his back hesitantly to make Chen Jiuqi more reliable, "Forget the benefits you gave me."

"Well, that sounds okay." When Chen Jiuqi said this, he leaned on Qu Fengyang while holding up his mobile phone, as if he wanted to take a selfie, but in fact, the people who were making noise in the car were planning to Take pictures and carefully identify abnormal persons, "Xuan'er is also your junior high school classmate, do you and Shen Guoxin are in the same class?"

Judging from the shaking of the back of her head against her shoulders, Chen Jiuqi felt that Qu Fengyang should have nodded, and she immediately sat up: "So your incident actually happened in junior high school, so it shouldn't be particularly bad, otherwise she and you You can't pass the exam at all, right?"

Qu Fengyang hesitated for a while, then nodded again. After struggling for a while, he whispered: "Actually, I think that the matter of campus bullying has a sense of the limitations of the times. Great changes have taken place in just a few decades. Everyone It’s good to be more vigilant, sensitive and aware of these things now, but I didn’t know this concept at all back then, and it was difficult to distinguish the boundary between contradictions and bullying.”

"Ah, are you worried that I think you're apologizing for yourself?"

Chen Jiuqi looked solemn, she had always regretted that she didn't realize that Xiao Liu and the others bullied their classmates, "It's okay, although I will be upset if you don't reflect on it at all, but I can understand such words, just say it. "

"My confusion is that there is no insult, slander, or physical contact, so if most of the students choose to ignore her/ Him, should that be counted as isolated indirect bullying, or simply a disagreement of character?"

"It's really hard to define. Judging from your legal principles, you probably can't finish arguing in three days and three nights, right? But it's not that complicated now, after all, the situation has become obvious."

Chen Jiuqi thought for a while about Xiaoliu's swearing. This is already a manifestation of being intensified by the game field. In the past, their behavior was more inclined to the isolation Qu Fengyang said, "But let's not talk about how your legal definition protects. From a different point of view, if you can choose to isolate simply because a child has so many shortcomings, then why can’t you be isolated because of any shortcomings in morality, intelligence, physical education, and labor? Moreover, isolation alone is enough to bring great benefits to others. Seriously hurt."

When Chen Jiuqi was in high school, she was shining brightly as a bystander or passer-by, but compared with her experience of light and emptiness as if in a novel, what she can't forget is that after graduation, she and others, including Xiaoliu, On the way to a party with a group of classmates, she ran into the classmate who was not invited, but found that the person was much more negative than she had imagined. He looked like a poisonous and half-dried weed. pleasing.

Chen Jiuqi took the initiative to say hello to this classmate who had a good personal relationship with her, but the glance of vigilance and hostility from the other party made her very shocked and unforgettable.

If someone who knew this classmate at this time, do they have every reason to think that she has a bad temper, or take a step back and say that she is not a good match, and then avoid her?Chen Jiuqi analyzed it with her "rationality" when she was just an adult at the time, and thought that it was indeed reasonable to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages and stay away from such classmates, and could not be criticized.

But from the eyes of the other party, from the moment when she passed by, she finally tasted that the other party was not negative emotions out of nothing, nor was she attacking herself aimlessly, but everything in the three years of high school, which really took her Shaped like this.

And as a bystander of inaction, as a "friend" who seems to be brilliant but does not stop the gloomy stories around her, she deserves to be resented by her.This is the source of Chen Jiuqi's guilt, and it is also the reason why she later paid attention to campus bullying, and even attended and hosted some related seminars at the university to call for attention.

In fact, when she graduated from university, the concept of campus bullying received more attention in society and was included in the scope of governance by more regulations and notices. It was also at that time that she suddenly realized the diversity of bullying, and realized that not only the A classmate, she herself was branded with psychological marks.

Then Chen Jiuqi, who realized that she was not just a bystander, felt a little ironic with the memories of her seemingly glorious high school life.

The author has something to say:

I don't know why I keep pushing the daily routine, maybe the two want to stick together and just fall in love.

The matching track here is: "A Certain Way of Writing Confession".