[Wen Ye] Hell changes
Chapter 84 Elephant Rain [End 2]
Ryunosuke Akutagawa laughed uncontrollably when he climbed out of the tunnel, unable to control the anticipation and hope that filled his whole heart at this moment.Because he loves and misses too much, he even thinks that these emotions accumulated in his heart are hard to express, and they have all been put into concrete forms, turning into his thoughts of Dostoyevsky and going around in the wind and rain Dispersion, just don't know when to go to Dostoyevsky's side.He loves it, he misses it, he can't wait, but, my God!He loves, he misses, what kind of sentence!
Suddenly, at the moment when his gaze suddenly turned to Geng Liang, the heartbeat that had been sped up because of crawling for a long time just now eased significantly.Akutagawa Ryunosuke couldn't help feeling puzzled, and his smile froze in an instant.While adjusting his breathing, he looked down at his left chest in surprise.His heartbeat is still normal, but he doesn't know why the double-layered weight suddenly disappears, his voice is no longer sweet, and the beating range is no longer full of enthusiasm. For a moment, the sensor placed next to the atrium stopped working.This means that the sensing object has no trace of life.
At the moment when the sensor was scrapped, Akutagawa Ryunosuke thought that he was overworked and had an illusion, so he couldn't help but firmly grasped his heart, hoping that it would start beating again under this artificial force. "Feiya? Wait, this heartbeat...it shouldn't be like this, it shouldn't be! Feiya, Feiya..." But no matter how many times he tried, no matter how much strength he used, all he got was a reason. The silent device that lost the support of its operating principle and was completely scrapped, received only the coldness of the device falling down and sticking to the visceral wall.
The sensors muted all sound.It made his heartbeat feel so lonely at the moment.The world disappears.From this moment on, the sensor that had been installed in his heart for almost ten years would never emit the joyful sound of the two phases in harmony, and the only thing left was the sad howl of a single heart.Dostoevsky would never come back for him.Akutagawa Ryunosuke realized this cruel fact.The sensor is very cold here.Here the heartbeat is very silent.But, he just married himself off!Just now, in the tunnel, in the dark, he had already married himself, and the underground tunnel was his wedding room.Akutagawa Ryunosuke knelt on the ground, stretched out his hands, and cried bitterly.The pain that was constantly tormented by his illness didn't make him cry, but at this moment, he couldn't stop crying like a fountain.It was the howling sound of a three-year-old child being taken away from everything, the tearing sound of a rural widow crying for her husband in the middle of a mourning procession.
At this time, Dostoevsky's words came to his mind again: If I am killed, you go to another person who can keep you alive.
But who can I turn to, where should I go, how can I survive in the world without you, my love?he thought as he wailed at his husband.My light, my love that cannot be married to me, what can I use to mourn you, what can I use to find your place?If it were you, and you were the one experiencing the pain of farewell, what would you choose?Should I just choose to die in love, choose to die legally, choose to go away with you, or continue to live with thoughts of you?Akutagawa Ryunosuke took a deep breath.
A crimson dream blew from the mountain, and once again flew into his resting breath. This red dream was blown by the revolutionary wind that was willing to risk his life for so many years for a single candlelight. It was difficult for him to hold on to the gunnel dying, and he almost couldn't feel the sound of the breakwater several times, and he couldn't feel the possibility of going ashore, but he still worked hard for so many years in the search of this wind , working hard to conquer the short but meaningful time in the name of the impetuous vocabulary of life, he comes, he goes, he conquers, he eats through death, betrays fragility and mediocrity, so he will because of this Will a change in a second succumb to the world?The answer is no.
Akutagawa Ryunosuke tremblingly stood upright again, tried hard to hold back his tears, and roughly wiped his already extremely hot and humid cheeks with his hands covered in plaster.Stand up, I, he thought with determination, I don't know what happened to Fedya. If he was killed, can I die for love without doing anything?Can I choose death without avenging Fei Jia?No, life has to go on, there are still messes to deal with, there are still enemies that have not been found, family hatred and national hatred have not been avenged, and I will not bow down to death. Stand up, Fei Jia must want me to live, doesn't she?
Goodbye, Fyodor, goodbye, Dostoevsky, my sweet chanting for your dark purple is like your dark purple eyes, the divinity of death becomes wider little by little, but my chanting is step by step Walking into dead silence, but, but, Fedya, Fedya, I screamed sweetly, goodbye Fyodor, goodbye, I don’t hate the pain of the lonely tree at the end of the world, but I only hate the moment just now that sounded my desire to survive The wind can't blow me to Jiugu where you are, goodbye Fei Jia, the last time I call you so affectionately like a dream.
Akutagawa Ryunosuke chose to continue living, and chose this sudden and added hiding.
The anti-war faction has won and completely counterattacked the expansionist faction. Now the whole country is in turmoil caused by the legacy of the war, and the Supernatural Secret Service Division is also in the process of reforming. Never mind, then in this sensitive and special period, Tachihara Michizo will definitely be sentenced for the crime of shielding Akutagawa Ryunosuke.The biggest problem facing Ryunosuke Akutagawa now is the cleansing. The anti-war faction that came to power must carry out a comprehensive cleansing of the supernatural parties that had engaged in expansion before, including those who supported the expansionist faction.There is no need to doubt that Akutagawa Ryunosuke must be the top criminal on the list. He has been wanted nationwide. No matter where he goes, there are always people who are ready to arrest him and hand him over to the New Ability Division. Once caught Let's face it, his end must be worse than cutting out bones and cutting out hearts.
This time he couldn't hide anymore.
There are people who want to divide him into five horses, even the dust scraped by stray dogs' footprints is the rusty smell of cold weapons with cut knives, and cats looking over the fence with their backs upright before going for a tryst will see him Can't wait to scream a few times like a hero and general. Under the light white moonlight, the cracked stripes on the increasingly old wallpaper are his hideous appearance after being hacked into pieces. The trees on the side are frightened by this tragedy. It curled up more and more, forming a black-green paste in the shadow block cast on the ground, attracting crickets and stinging insects hiding in the corners to sing folk songs praising Ling Chi fumigation.He hid in the corner of the alley, squatting about one centimeter deep in the shadow of the tree end, swallowing wood and gnawing soil.It was late at night, leaning against the corner of the wall and falling asleep. In his dream, he looked up at Dostoyevsky's beautiful chin, lightly flicking the wall powder and dust on Dostoyevsky's cloak, and the moonlight shone through He searched his guts and couldn't find any words suitable for this scene, so he had to stay silent, and danced mischievously on the eye waves produced by the two people's eyebrows.
On the night of the tenth day, he finally collapsed.
His body is empty except for the knife given by Fukuji Sakurachi and the strengthening agent to relieve the disease, but he would rather die than pawn these two items, believing that they have the meaning and function they should have, and this meaning and function are absolutely It is not realized in the process of being pawned and redeemed.
At this moment, Osamu Dazai, whom he had not seen for a long time, appeared in front of him and extended his hand to him.There is a whole country with hundreds of millions of people, nothing can help him, everyone wants him to die, there is nowhere for him to hide, but even so, there will always be one exception.Only Osamu Dazai is willing to help him and take him in.
His body was filled with an empty stomach, beside him was a dead mouse, above his head was a dumb astral wind, under the skin and flesh were connected with rotten bones, his eyes were filled with empty farewell shadows, What is inhaled into the airpipe is the leftovers after idealism has failed, and what is drunk into the mouth is the occasional weeping water sprayed from the dirty short and wide pipe.And what is inversely proportional to these is Dazai Osamu who escaped today's round of raids by holding him.
Osamu Dazai was glamorous, neatly dressed, gently touching his skinny cheeks that were almost sunken, although his expression was calm and calm, but distress and joy could be seen from time to time on the lines of the coiled pupil lines.Osamu Dazai reasoned with him in a soft voice, his bright red tongue flickered in the middle of the teeth like a small ball of flame jumping between his hands, which was extremely oppressive: "From now on, I will be your only one to rely on .You are not in good health and sick. I will find a way to heal you and stay by your side every day until you recover. Now only I can save you, and only I am willing to take you in. If you don’t promise me, then you You're going to die by the dump tonight. Come with me and I'll protect you."
Akutagawa didn't push him away, nor did he refute, just remained silent.
"I'll take you wherever you want to go after you recover, okay? Where do you like? China? The United States? England? France? Or the quieter Nordic side? Iceland, is Iceland okay? Forget it, for a while It's normal if you can't answer in time, come on, let's find a place for you to hide."
Akutagawa was so weak that he couldn't speak, and he couldn't stand still. Osamu Dazai let him lean on his right shoulder and took him home.It is indeed a very hidden place, able to escape the search for a while, and Osamu Dazai is extremely alert and has strong connections, even if there is a slight movement that is suspicious and worthy of warning, he can immediately make perfect preparations and quickly take Akutagawa Ryunosuke away , to the next arranged hideout.
Unless Osamu Dazai took the initiative to go out and expose the location of Akutagawa Ryunosuke, Akutagawa Ryunosuke can be said to be very safe now.
After personal safety is guaranteed, the next issue to consider is the quality of life.
The fundamental reason why Dazai Osamu was so confident and tried so hard to hide Akutagawa Ryunosuke was that he thought he could influence Akutagawa Ryunosuke.Time has passed, and he is no longer the former Dazai Osamu. He had thought about it countless times, and planned it countless times, but at that time, Akutagawa was not his at all, and he was not someone he could catch at all. , so no matter how many reflections he gives, no matter how many hysterical efforts he makes, Akutagawa will never give him any attention.Now that the situation is turbulent, Akutagawa is no one but him, and no one can keep Akutagawa alive except him, so now he can show the results of his past reflections, and he can practice those previous plans that have been added many times, deleted, and modified countless times.
He firmly believes that he can use time to capture Akutagawa Ryunosuke's heart, use time to prove his sincerity, and use time to make Akutagawa Ryunosuke fully adapt to himself.In his cognition, time is the most powerful weapon in the world. This weapon has pierced through the backs of countless human beings who have never bowed to fate, permeated countless kinds of life or death with bad luck, and finally decomposed life. Become rotten wood, relegate death to dung, as long as the immortal Qin Shihuang, and a little closer to nine thousand and nine hundred Wei Zhongxian, all lost the ideal ductility and luster of life under the fatal blow of this weapon, but now he is just planning to Let Akutagawa Ryunosuke regain his love for him, isn't it time that can't be done?
That is to say, Osamu Dazai really wanted to live with Akutagawa Ryunosuke seriously, and in fact, this kind of life was indeed able to live a while ago, except that Akutagawa Ryunosuke ignored him. What a big problem.But it didn't take long for this kind of life, and the contradiction between them gradually became prominent.
There is an irreconcilable contradiction between Dazai Osamu and Akutagawa Ryunosuke, and there is a fundamental reason why they will never be able to work together, that is, their attitude towards this kind of life.Osamu Dazai’s purpose is to slowly transition this slightly indifferent life into a habit, into Akutagawa’s dependence on him, just as he picked Akutagawa back to the port mafia many years ago, he firmly believes that Akutagawa is a person with servile roots, Day after day, Akutagawa will surely rely on him and worship him again.But the only reason why Akutagawa followed him was that he couldn’t survive in any other way. What Akutagawa really wanted was to continue to live, which was what Dostoevsky wanted to see, so As long as another person can keep him alive, then he will abandon Osamu Dazai and follow the other person without hesitation.
Osamu Dazai wanted to tame him, and he did it for Dostoevsky. This was the root cause of their inability to get along.
It took Osamu Dazai a long time of mental struggle to accept the fact that Akutagawa has been raped many times by others. He knew that if he despised Akutagawa because of this, he would definitely let Akutagawa run away again, because of a small loss and a big gain. It wasn't his way, so in the end he had to smile and say it wasn't a big deal even though he really cared.
But even if he doesn't mind, it's impossible for Akutagawa not to mind, but what Akutagawa cares about is not physical chastity, but spiritual belonging.In Akutagawa Ryunosuke's view, he doesn't need to sell his body for righteousness now. He has used this as capital to trade information countless times before, but he knows that it is for the final victory, and his soul is still clean. Now that the right to control his body has been his own, it is up to him whether he wants to cherish it or not. If he doesn't want to sleep with Osamu Dazai, then Osamu Dazai has no right to force him, otherwise he is no different from a rapist.Osamu Dazai has normal sexual needs. In the face of Akutagawa's attitude of preferring death to death, the unresolved needs can only be transformed into growing boredom and self-aware complaints.
The second very important reason is that the two of them do not agree with each other.
Osamu Dazai always said to Akutagawa, I know you are suffering, I know you are tired, I sympathize with you very much, and I love you very much, but he doesn't know at all that Akutagawa Ryunosuke has never spared the singer's suffering, but Hurt bosom friends rare.Osamu Dazai knew almost nothing about his past years, he couldn't empathize with his transformation and growth over the years, and he didn't plan to take the time to experience Akutagawa's thoughts.He couldn't understand Akutagawa's indifference and withdrawnness that was born to him alone, just like Akutagawa Ryunosuke couldn't understand why the current Dazai Osamu didn't beat him or scold him. Their understanding of each other was still in the past many years ago , so the difficulties and feelings for each other can only stay on the surface of knowing, and can never go deep into it to become a bosom friend.
Therefore, even if there is food and clothing, even if someone protects someone to take care of him, even if he has a bed and money to spend, Akutagawa Ryunosuke still feels extremely lonely and can only procrastinate his thoughts by thinking about Dostoevsky Physically numb exhaustion and emotional suicide.
He can’t read the books that Osamu Dazai doesn’t want him to read, and he can’t understand the current affairs that he doesn’t want him to understand anyway. He wants to read an article, but Osamu Dazai thinks that the article’s ideas are crooked and will do him no good , and think that it is precisely because of these things that he has become more and more sentimental, and his emotions have become more pessimistic and fragile, which has even affected his rebellious temperament. Looking at how the two of them will live and maintain this The hard-won tacit understanding and consensus?He hopes that Akutagawa Ryunosuke is like this, so once Akutagawa Ryunosuke has signs that he will turn into another look, he will try his best to kill the signs.
Akutagawa remembered the days when he read and discussed with Dostoevsky in the cafe under the sunset, and couldn't help crying.
He eats, wears, and lives in Dazai's house, and lives entirely on Dazai's. The humbleness and lowliness of others makes him unable to complain, and he has no right to complain. He can only complain when Dazai is asleep in the middle of the night. Tears quietly.
He is safe, but he does not get a sense of security. He has lived as he wished, but what he gets is not perfection.
He began to gradually lose the cherishment of his own body, and sometimes he would even self-mutilate for Dazai to see. Dazai felt that he was moaning without illness, like a second-year-old who had not graduated from elementary school, relying on self-mutilation and selling miserables to gain attention. Satisfy vanity, just smile and pass.Ryunosuke Akutagawa slowly regained his sanity from his madness. Looking at the wound he had cut on his skin with a knife because of his insanity, and at the bloodstains that were still faintly oozing, he was alone in the middle of the night. Sitting in front of the window, waiting for the night to turn this fragile skin and wound into a dull color.
He remembered that Dostoevsky said that he was the king's bride, but Dazai Osamu said that he was a wild dog moaning without disease, and he couldn't bear it anymore, crying bitterly to the moon.
Osamu Dazai will not be willing to do rough work every day, Akutagawa Ryunosuke is a beauty lamp who blows and falls, so they have to secretly hire some hard-working people, all deaf and dumb, who can't do anything except cook and clean , and it is impossible to spread any news about Akutagawa Ryunosuke. Of course, if the host is in a good mood, they will be allowed to take charge of Akutagawa's diet as an exception.Osamu Dazai originally thought that there would be only him and Akutagawa in the family, but the reason why he had to hire labor was simply because of an insignificant bottle of wine.
One day, Osamu Dazai suddenly thought of adding two bottles of ice wine to his lunch. It happened that Ryunosuke Akutagawa was going to pass by the drink shop downstairs. He asked Akutagawa to buy the wine and go upstairs to bring it to him, but Akutagawa was already gone. There was a distance after walking past the drink store, and Akutagawa thought that Dazai Osamu was much closer to the store than he was, and Dazai Osamu should go downstairs to buy it by himself.He didn't think there was any problem with his thoughts, but he didn't explain to Osamu Dazai, nor did he express his desire not to buy alcohol, and he never messaged Osamu Dazai again after he hung up the phone.He looked at the sky by the sea and missed his old friend, and Osamu Dazai stayed alone at the table without drinks until dusk.
After returning home, they quarreled all night, making the neighbors unable to sleep. No matter how many times they came to persuade them, they were still arguing endlessly, thinking that they were the one who was most wronged and should be coaxed and accommodated.
Osamu Dazai asked him why he refused to buy just a bottle of wine, and asked him why he kept himself waiting for the whole afternoon.
Akutagawa Ryunosuke asked him back: Obviously you are closer, and you can move more easily. I have bad legs, and it may take half as long as mine to go downstairs. Are you so reluctant to start by yourself? There is no order to me Is it that hard to accept?
Osamu Dazai pointed to his leg and said: I take care of you every day, your leg has healed so much but you refuse to walk, you can’t even walk dozens of steps, what use is it for me to be so useless?
The urge to cry surged up in an instant, Akutagawa Ryunosuke tried to suppress the surge of tears by swallowing saliva, choked and asked: Did you take me home to use me as a thing?
Osamu Dazai was so angry that he almost lost control of his facial expression management. He couldn't justify what was reasonable for a while, and said to him almost like a growl: I'm talking about buying wine, but you want to talk about how to treat you. Confrontation?If you admit that you made a mistake, you won't do it again in the future, isn't it over?What's wrong with this, you played outside all afternoon, I sat here alone waiting for you, you didn't see me and this family in your eyes, but asked me if I regarded you as something, then why didn't you ask you Do you just see me as a cash machine?My role is to support you?You used to be like this. You used to work harder than anyone else, so desperately trying to please me and win my appreciation. How did you become the broken jar now? You are used to being pampered by others. After raising it for a long time, I forget my roots, and I don’t want to move at all. I just want to let me hand everything to your mouth, don’t I?Don't forget that I have another identity as your teacher. You are so lazy and coquettish in front of the teacher. I didn't hit you. You are already kind, you know?High school students can earn thousands of dollars by working in summer vacation. You don’t even have the ability to earn a penny. Dad, it's not a cash machine that has been working hard and licking all the time. After ten years of being loved and loved, it's enough, you should wake up, think about who you are and what you should do to be right!
He paused for a while, took a deep breath, and after adjusting his posture, he raised his volume again: What do you think is the difference between you and a parasite!
The sound suddenly disappeared from the earth.Winter has become a silent color.Akutagawa Ryunosuke kept his head down from beginning to end, without replying a word.
He finished venting, and after saying all he wanted to say, he calmed down a lot. He looked at Akutagawa Ryunosuke, but the latter still kept his head down, making it hard to see his face and expression.Since he said a lot of exaggerated things just now, he couldn't let go of his airs and quickly changed to a good attitude, so he didn't ask Akutagawa clearly what's wrong with you.He hesitated for a while, then slowly bent down to look at Ryunosuke Akutagawa's face.
A drop of transparent, crystal-clear color flashed down from Ryunosuke Akutagawa's eye socket, and landed on the back of his hand.The skin on the back of the hand became very hot and slippery.
That night, Osamu Dazai couldn't sleep no matter what, but he didn't make a sound, just lay on the bed staring at the ceiling and fell into endless disturbing silence.At about midnight, Akutagawa Ryunosuke, who had not moved at all, suddenly raised his hand in the air, as if trying to grab something, and spoke to the ceiling in tears.
Fei Jia, don’t keep talking, Fei Jia, your silence makes me lonely, but, okay, but I don’t dislike your silence either, your silence is as distant and moving as a star, as charming as an ancient poem, everyone’s silence is It will make me feel lonely, only your silence makes me feel that I am being loved, your absence makes me feel heartbroken, as if you have died... Where are you?In which crowd on which street?Do I think you shouldn't love you, cause you won't show up, won't come back?But why did you let me meet you back then, when I was young and heartbroken, when I felt that true love was far away?The book we always open together at sunset is lost, and I can never find it again... My lonely dream reveals how much I long for you to love me alive at this very moment!Fedya, I really don't know what to do.
So Osamu Dazai understood from the deliberate and sensitive depression these days, the beautiful black eyes he had worked so hard to obtain, the body of Ryunosuke Akutagawa who had a fleshy shell but no sincerity in return for his criticism and mediation, and his attempts to win. Changing his attitude and getting along with him so that his efforts were not in vain, what he brought home was only Ryunosuke Akutagawa's sighs and cries that symbolized disappointment and alienation, and the sweet and sad Fei that sounded in his dream in the middle of the night. Jia, and a sentence that means that Osamu Dazai will never be accepted: I really don't know what to do.
Since then, Akutagawa Ryunosuke has been ill.
Ryunosuke Akutagawa's body is getting weaker and weaker day by day, and sometimes even a large tuft of hair will turn white overnight. No matter what method Dazai Osamu uses to make up for it, and what words he uses to prove that it was only his anger at the time Nonsense, it's all useless.Osamu Dazai tried every means to make Akutagawa forgive him, let Akutagawa say something to him, and let Akutagawa understand that he still loves him, but he hasn't adapted to the cohabitation life yet, so he is unavoidably overbearing.If it were Akutagawa Ryunosuke in his youth, he might take these words seriously and use them as motivation to live, but youth is gone forever.
Osamu Dazai couldn't change the fact that he was about to lose Akutagawa. Akutagawa was tortured by Osamu Dazai until he completely lost his desire to survive, and those servants who took care of daily life knew that Akutagawa Ryunosuke was bound to die, and there was no one who could take it out again. The oil and water profits were distributed to them, so they packed their bags and left overnight, and disappeared early.
Akutagawa Ryunosuke eventually fell ill in the harsh snowstorm.
This time, the booster never revived him.
When Osamu Dazai found something unusual when he came home, he hurried to the bed and asked him how he was doing. He raised his arms sickly, and begged Dazai with a smile, "Mr. Dazai, hug me." He was seriously ill, his face looked dead, his lips were so dry and white that the contours of the entire lips were blurred, almost blending into the pale face.At this time, Osamu Dazai could no longer laugh and say that Akutagawa was just moaning without illness, and he could no longer think that Akutagawa would calm down the next day so he ignored it. He could no longer maintain that calmness with a sense of superiority.
He hugged Ryunosuke Akutagawa tightly, and learned the fact that he was helpless from the touch of skin to skin.
"I love you." He hugged Akutagawa and said, "Black eyes, my little black eyes, when you walked into my world or rested in my world, I fell in love with you at first sight, from the first time I saw you I want you so much, I want to see you every day, then I blame you every day, I belittle you, in fact, I am lying, when you are silent or speaking, when you are moving or quiet, when you are by my side, when you are Can't be in front of my eyes..."
Akutagawa didn't push him away, nor did he refute, just like he promised to be taken away by him before, just like many years ago, but this time he didn't keep silent.He gave Osamu Dazai a response from the piercing of flesh and blood.
Osamu Dazai only heard the sound similar to drawing a sword out of its sheath, and then suddenly felt a tingling sensation like a thunderbolt from his chest, and just the last second, he was still because of Akutagawa Ryunosuke's sticker on I felt full of sweetness in my chest, and it was only a blink of an eye, and the sweetness turned into pain.
He let go of Akutagawa Ryunosuke, and looked down at the knife piercing through his body from behind in disbelief.
He naturally didn't know this knife, but Akutagawa Ryunosuke was very familiar with it. For Akutagawa Ryunosuke, it was the knife that allowed Fukuji Sakurachi to break through the prison and save him. The knife with which he crawled through the dark tunnel, the knife with which he sensed Dostoevsky's death with him, the knife which he pulled out bravely without hesitation when necessary.
"Why? Akutagawa, why did you do this..." The blood spread uncontrollably from his chest, "You know I'm afraid of pain...you know I'm afraid, don't you!"
He wanted to ask Akutagawa Ryunosuke for an answer, but it was obvious that his speed was below the level of death. The moment Akutagawa Ryunosuke was released by him, he collapsed on the bed, closed his eyes forever, and returned to the Those comrades who died returned to the embrace of Mother Earth.
Holding his wound, he staggered to the door of the house and opened it.The light from outside came in instantly.The dull color outside the sunlight is washed away by the sickly white daylight in an instant, only the dazzling reflection and blurred cloud lines grow back and forth between the sky and the earth, creating circles of bright white with different shades.Osamu Dazai staggered towards the door, hoping to cross the speed of life that was consistent with the speed of blood flow, even if it was only a second, he could accept it. During the period, all the nostalgia for the past and the unwillingness to fail All the silence disappeared, and all that was left was the calmness generated during the process of life being quickly drained and exhausted, and the sadness and loneliness that suddenly surged up at the end of the process.
In this calmness and loneliness, he suddenly remembered the afternoon when he took Akutagawa Ryunosuke's hand and went home together.At that time, he never thought of killing Akutagawa Gin and Dostoevsky, nor did he ever think of letting Akutagawa Ryunosuke go.
He remembered the oath he made when he brought Akutagawa home to protect Akutagawa, and the grievance tears Akutagawa shed when the two quarreled.He hasn't had time to apologize, and he hasn't had time to make up for Akutagawa's grievances.Now he will never have the chance.
So, before his vitality was completely wiped out, before the tide of death completely engulfed him, Dazai suddenly burst into pain, and couldn't move anymore, and fell into a pool of blood, not caring about his embarrassment. He left the world with a helpless appearance, like a child who shed tears because he did not have time to repent after doing something wrong: "Black eyes, my little black eyes... I can't walk anymore, carry me on your back..."
On the same day, Osamu Dazai's body was found on the street. Following the bloodstains and other clues on the deceased, the criminal police found Ryunosuke Akutagawa who was lying on the bed and died of illness. Although the body was already cold when he found it It's far from their original goal of catching people alive, but it can still be counted as the completion of the capture.
If the person brought back is a living person, it is estimated that most people will support the public execution of Akutagawa Ryunosuke. After all, the legal provisions of supernatural powers are not in the criminal law books applicable to ordinary citizens, but because of the excessive power of personal discourse that leads to power. In an unbalanced judiciary, public punishment, no matter how inhumane it may sound in the 21st century, is legally allowed as long as they agree.
It's just that the situation is a little more complicated now. What was brought back was not the living person Akutagawa Ryunosuke, but the corpse. No matter what he did to him, he would not get anything other than unhealthy flesh and blood. Some people will be shaken.
After discussing for several days, these anti-war parties who used to talk about peace and anti-war benevolence and kindness decided to use the simplest way to solve the problem. Arrange the corpses according to the number of votes after the vote. Just send Akutagawa Ryunosuke's body back to his hometown and bury him, that poor and chaotic slum, if he agrees, it's too cheap to die like this Execution.
In the end, the latter prevailed.
About 100 men and women came to the scene in person.
Akutagawa Ryunosuke's body was tied with countless threads, hands and feet, waist, neck, and hung on the wall in a large font. Next to it, a righteous young man read to the people in the audience, holding a manuscript in one hand, One hand clenched the microphone:
"One of the leaders of the expansion faction, Akutagawa Ryunosuke, a member of the unforgivable right party, is far from enough to describe him as full of evil! One of the famous members of our party, Edogawa Rampo-senpai, once had a relationship with him He has a lot of contacts, but not only did he not follow the advice of senior Edogawa to do good, but instead he repaid his kindness and killed his senior in the dungeon! He colluded with evil, and almost all the members of the expansionist faction known to the public belonged to him My dear friend, under his command, I don’t know how many people with lofty ideals against the war were killed, and I don’t know how many times our party went underground when it went underground! All the crimes have been committed, and all the bad things have been done. All members of our party are ashamed of being of the same nationality as this person! This person is one of the biggest enemies of our party on the way to counterattack, and now our party will finally capture him! Now the cleaning has been carried out At the last moment, Akutagawa Ryunosuke is the last top-ranked criminal. Here, our party will impose a truly democratic punishment on him, and let the people present decide his fate! May there be no more darkness in the Supernatural Division, May our party uphold its original aspirations, always insist on peace and anti-war, and never show mercy to figures like Ryunosuke Akutagawa who share the hatred of gods and ghosts! May our country have a bright future!"
The passionate voice was magnified by the microphone and rushed into the crowd. The excitement and urgency of the people surged in the transmission and diffusion of the voice. The subjective emotion and objective guidance perfectly fit together like crystal salt. Dissolve in water.
The people accused with outrage: Although Ryunosuke Akutagawa likes to sell ass the most, what are he selling to?They are all rich capitals
Suddenly, at the moment when his gaze suddenly turned to Geng Liang, the heartbeat that had been sped up because of crawling for a long time just now eased significantly.Akutagawa Ryunosuke couldn't help feeling puzzled, and his smile froze in an instant.While adjusting his breathing, he looked down at his left chest in surprise.His heartbeat is still normal, but he doesn't know why the double-layered weight suddenly disappears, his voice is no longer sweet, and the beating range is no longer full of enthusiasm. For a moment, the sensor placed next to the atrium stopped working.This means that the sensing object has no trace of life.
At the moment when the sensor was scrapped, Akutagawa Ryunosuke thought that he was overworked and had an illusion, so he couldn't help but firmly grasped his heart, hoping that it would start beating again under this artificial force. "Feiya? Wait, this heartbeat...it shouldn't be like this, it shouldn't be! Feiya, Feiya..." But no matter how many times he tried, no matter how much strength he used, all he got was a reason. The silent device that lost the support of its operating principle and was completely scrapped, received only the coldness of the device falling down and sticking to the visceral wall.
The sensors muted all sound.It made his heartbeat feel so lonely at the moment.The world disappears.From this moment on, the sensor that had been installed in his heart for almost ten years would never emit the joyful sound of the two phases in harmony, and the only thing left was the sad howl of a single heart.Dostoevsky would never come back for him.Akutagawa Ryunosuke realized this cruel fact.The sensor is very cold here.Here the heartbeat is very silent.But, he just married himself off!Just now, in the tunnel, in the dark, he had already married himself, and the underground tunnel was his wedding room.Akutagawa Ryunosuke knelt on the ground, stretched out his hands, and cried bitterly.The pain that was constantly tormented by his illness didn't make him cry, but at this moment, he couldn't stop crying like a fountain.It was the howling sound of a three-year-old child being taken away from everything, the tearing sound of a rural widow crying for her husband in the middle of a mourning procession.
At this time, Dostoevsky's words came to his mind again: If I am killed, you go to another person who can keep you alive.
But who can I turn to, where should I go, how can I survive in the world without you, my love?he thought as he wailed at his husband.My light, my love that cannot be married to me, what can I use to mourn you, what can I use to find your place?If it were you, and you were the one experiencing the pain of farewell, what would you choose?Should I just choose to die in love, choose to die legally, choose to go away with you, or continue to live with thoughts of you?Akutagawa Ryunosuke took a deep breath.
A crimson dream blew from the mountain, and once again flew into his resting breath. This red dream was blown by the revolutionary wind that was willing to risk his life for so many years for a single candlelight. It was difficult for him to hold on to the gunnel dying, and he almost couldn't feel the sound of the breakwater several times, and he couldn't feel the possibility of going ashore, but he still worked hard for so many years in the search of this wind , working hard to conquer the short but meaningful time in the name of the impetuous vocabulary of life, he comes, he goes, he conquers, he eats through death, betrays fragility and mediocrity, so he will because of this Will a change in a second succumb to the world?The answer is no.
Akutagawa Ryunosuke tremblingly stood upright again, tried hard to hold back his tears, and roughly wiped his already extremely hot and humid cheeks with his hands covered in plaster.Stand up, I, he thought with determination, I don't know what happened to Fedya. If he was killed, can I die for love without doing anything?Can I choose death without avenging Fei Jia?No, life has to go on, there are still messes to deal with, there are still enemies that have not been found, family hatred and national hatred have not been avenged, and I will not bow down to death. Stand up, Fei Jia must want me to live, doesn't she?
Goodbye, Fyodor, goodbye, Dostoevsky, my sweet chanting for your dark purple is like your dark purple eyes, the divinity of death becomes wider little by little, but my chanting is step by step Walking into dead silence, but, but, Fedya, Fedya, I screamed sweetly, goodbye Fyodor, goodbye, I don’t hate the pain of the lonely tree at the end of the world, but I only hate the moment just now that sounded my desire to survive The wind can't blow me to Jiugu where you are, goodbye Fei Jia, the last time I call you so affectionately like a dream.
Akutagawa Ryunosuke chose to continue living, and chose this sudden and added hiding.
The anti-war faction has won and completely counterattacked the expansionist faction. Now the whole country is in turmoil caused by the legacy of the war, and the Supernatural Secret Service Division is also in the process of reforming. Never mind, then in this sensitive and special period, Tachihara Michizo will definitely be sentenced for the crime of shielding Akutagawa Ryunosuke.The biggest problem facing Ryunosuke Akutagawa now is the cleansing. The anti-war faction that came to power must carry out a comprehensive cleansing of the supernatural parties that had engaged in expansion before, including those who supported the expansionist faction.There is no need to doubt that Akutagawa Ryunosuke must be the top criminal on the list. He has been wanted nationwide. No matter where he goes, there are always people who are ready to arrest him and hand him over to the New Ability Division. Once caught Let's face it, his end must be worse than cutting out bones and cutting out hearts.
This time he couldn't hide anymore.
There are people who want to divide him into five horses, even the dust scraped by stray dogs' footprints is the rusty smell of cold weapons with cut knives, and cats looking over the fence with their backs upright before going for a tryst will see him Can't wait to scream a few times like a hero and general. Under the light white moonlight, the cracked stripes on the increasingly old wallpaper are his hideous appearance after being hacked into pieces. The trees on the side are frightened by this tragedy. It curled up more and more, forming a black-green paste in the shadow block cast on the ground, attracting crickets and stinging insects hiding in the corners to sing folk songs praising Ling Chi fumigation.He hid in the corner of the alley, squatting about one centimeter deep in the shadow of the tree end, swallowing wood and gnawing soil.It was late at night, leaning against the corner of the wall and falling asleep. In his dream, he looked up at Dostoyevsky's beautiful chin, lightly flicking the wall powder and dust on Dostoyevsky's cloak, and the moonlight shone through He searched his guts and couldn't find any words suitable for this scene, so he had to stay silent, and danced mischievously on the eye waves produced by the two people's eyebrows.
On the night of the tenth day, he finally collapsed.
His body is empty except for the knife given by Fukuji Sakurachi and the strengthening agent to relieve the disease, but he would rather die than pawn these two items, believing that they have the meaning and function they should have, and this meaning and function are absolutely It is not realized in the process of being pawned and redeemed.
At this moment, Osamu Dazai, whom he had not seen for a long time, appeared in front of him and extended his hand to him.There is a whole country with hundreds of millions of people, nothing can help him, everyone wants him to die, there is nowhere for him to hide, but even so, there will always be one exception.Only Osamu Dazai is willing to help him and take him in.
His body was filled with an empty stomach, beside him was a dead mouse, above his head was a dumb astral wind, under the skin and flesh were connected with rotten bones, his eyes were filled with empty farewell shadows, What is inhaled into the airpipe is the leftovers after idealism has failed, and what is drunk into the mouth is the occasional weeping water sprayed from the dirty short and wide pipe.And what is inversely proportional to these is Dazai Osamu who escaped today's round of raids by holding him.
Osamu Dazai was glamorous, neatly dressed, gently touching his skinny cheeks that were almost sunken, although his expression was calm and calm, but distress and joy could be seen from time to time on the lines of the coiled pupil lines.Osamu Dazai reasoned with him in a soft voice, his bright red tongue flickered in the middle of the teeth like a small ball of flame jumping between his hands, which was extremely oppressive: "From now on, I will be your only one to rely on .You are not in good health and sick. I will find a way to heal you and stay by your side every day until you recover. Now only I can save you, and only I am willing to take you in. If you don’t promise me, then you You're going to die by the dump tonight. Come with me and I'll protect you."
Akutagawa didn't push him away, nor did he refute, just remained silent.
"I'll take you wherever you want to go after you recover, okay? Where do you like? China? The United States? England? France? Or the quieter Nordic side? Iceland, is Iceland okay? Forget it, for a while It's normal if you can't answer in time, come on, let's find a place for you to hide."
Akutagawa was so weak that he couldn't speak, and he couldn't stand still. Osamu Dazai let him lean on his right shoulder and took him home.It is indeed a very hidden place, able to escape the search for a while, and Osamu Dazai is extremely alert and has strong connections, even if there is a slight movement that is suspicious and worthy of warning, he can immediately make perfect preparations and quickly take Akutagawa Ryunosuke away , to the next arranged hideout.
Unless Osamu Dazai took the initiative to go out and expose the location of Akutagawa Ryunosuke, Akutagawa Ryunosuke can be said to be very safe now.
After personal safety is guaranteed, the next issue to consider is the quality of life.
The fundamental reason why Dazai Osamu was so confident and tried so hard to hide Akutagawa Ryunosuke was that he thought he could influence Akutagawa Ryunosuke.Time has passed, and he is no longer the former Dazai Osamu. He had thought about it countless times, and planned it countless times, but at that time, Akutagawa was not his at all, and he was not someone he could catch at all. , so no matter how many reflections he gives, no matter how many hysterical efforts he makes, Akutagawa will never give him any attention.Now that the situation is turbulent, Akutagawa is no one but him, and no one can keep Akutagawa alive except him, so now he can show the results of his past reflections, and he can practice those previous plans that have been added many times, deleted, and modified countless times.
He firmly believes that he can use time to capture Akutagawa Ryunosuke's heart, use time to prove his sincerity, and use time to make Akutagawa Ryunosuke fully adapt to himself.In his cognition, time is the most powerful weapon in the world. This weapon has pierced through the backs of countless human beings who have never bowed to fate, permeated countless kinds of life or death with bad luck, and finally decomposed life. Become rotten wood, relegate death to dung, as long as the immortal Qin Shihuang, and a little closer to nine thousand and nine hundred Wei Zhongxian, all lost the ideal ductility and luster of life under the fatal blow of this weapon, but now he is just planning to Let Akutagawa Ryunosuke regain his love for him, isn't it time that can't be done?
That is to say, Osamu Dazai really wanted to live with Akutagawa Ryunosuke seriously, and in fact, this kind of life was indeed able to live a while ago, except that Akutagawa Ryunosuke ignored him. What a big problem.But it didn't take long for this kind of life, and the contradiction between them gradually became prominent.
There is an irreconcilable contradiction between Dazai Osamu and Akutagawa Ryunosuke, and there is a fundamental reason why they will never be able to work together, that is, their attitude towards this kind of life.Osamu Dazai’s purpose is to slowly transition this slightly indifferent life into a habit, into Akutagawa’s dependence on him, just as he picked Akutagawa back to the port mafia many years ago, he firmly believes that Akutagawa is a person with servile roots, Day after day, Akutagawa will surely rely on him and worship him again.But the only reason why Akutagawa followed him was that he couldn’t survive in any other way. What Akutagawa really wanted was to continue to live, which was what Dostoevsky wanted to see, so As long as another person can keep him alive, then he will abandon Osamu Dazai and follow the other person without hesitation.
Osamu Dazai wanted to tame him, and he did it for Dostoevsky. This was the root cause of their inability to get along.
It took Osamu Dazai a long time of mental struggle to accept the fact that Akutagawa has been raped many times by others. He knew that if he despised Akutagawa because of this, he would definitely let Akutagawa run away again, because of a small loss and a big gain. It wasn't his way, so in the end he had to smile and say it wasn't a big deal even though he really cared.
But even if he doesn't mind, it's impossible for Akutagawa not to mind, but what Akutagawa cares about is not physical chastity, but spiritual belonging.In Akutagawa Ryunosuke's view, he doesn't need to sell his body for righteousness now. He has used this as capital to trade information countless times before, but he knows that it is for the final victory, and his soul is still clean. Now that the right to control his body has been his own, it is up to him whether he wants to cherish it or not. If he doesn't want to sleep with Osamu Dazai, then Osamu Dazai has no right to force him, otherwise he is no different from a rapist.Osamu Dazai has normal sexual needs. In the face of Akutagawa's attitude of preferring death to death, the unresolved needs can only be transformed into growing boredom and self-aware complaints.
The second very important reason is that the two of them do not agree with each other.
Osamu Dazai always said to Akutagawa, I know you are suffering, I know you are tired, I sympathize with you very much, and I love you very much, but he doesn't know at all that Akutagawa Ryunosuke has never spared the singer's suffering, but Hurt bosom friends rare.Osamu Dazai knew almost nothing about his past years, he couldn't empathize with his transformation and growth over the years, and he didn't plan to take the time to experience Akutagawa's thoughts.He couldn't understand Akutagawa's indifference and withdrawnness that was born to him alone, just like Akutagawa Ryunosuke couldn't understand why the current Dazai Osamu didn't beat him or scold him. Their understanding of each other was still in the past many years ago , so the difficulties and feelings for each other can only stay on the surface of knowing, and can never go deep into it to become a bosom friend.
Therefore, even if there is food and clothing, even if someone protects someone to take care of him, even if he has a bed and money to spend, Akutagawa Ryunosuke still feels extremely lonely and can only procrastinate his thoughts by thinking about Dostoevsky Physically numb exhaustion and emotional suicide.
He can’t read the books that Osamu Dazai doesn’t want him to read, and he can’t understand the current affairs that he doesn’t want him to understand anyway. He wants to read an article, but Osamu Dazai thinks that the article’s ideas are crooked and will do him no good , and think that it is precisely because of these things that he has become more and more sentimental, and his emotions have become more pessimistic and fragile, which has even affected his rebellious temperament. Looking at how the two of them will live and maintain this The hard-won tacit understanding and consensus?He hopes that Akutagawa Ryunosuke is like this, so once Akutagawa Ryunosuke has signs that he will turn into another look, he will try his best to kill the signs.
Akutagawa remembered the days when he read and discussed with Dostoevsky in the cafe under the sunset, and couldn't help crying.
He eats, wears, and lives in Dazai's house, and lives entirely on Dazai's. The humbleness and lowliness of others makes him unable to complain, and he has no right to complain. He can only complain when Dazai is asleep in the middle of the night. Tears quietly.
He is safe, but he does not get a sense of security. He has lived as he wished, but what he gets is not perfection.
He began to gradually lose the cherishment of his own body, and sometimes he would even self-mutilate for Dazai to see. Dazai felt that he was moaning without illness, like a second-year-old who had not graduated from elementary school, relying on self-mutilation and selling miserables to gain attention. Satisfy vanity, just smile and pass.Ryunosuke Akutagawa slowly regained his sanity from his madness. Looking at the wound he had cut on his skin with a knife because of his insanity, and at the bloodstains that were still faintly oozing, he was alone in the middle of the night. Sitting in front of the window, waiting for the night to turn this fragile skin and wound into a dull color.
He remembered that Dostoevsky said that he was the king's bride, but Dazai Osamu said that he was a wild dog moaning without disease, and he couldn't bear it anymore, crying bitterly to the moon.
Osamu Dazai will not be willing to do rough work every day, Akutagawa Ryunosuke is a beauty lamp who blows and falls, so they have to secretly hire some hard-working people, all deaf and dumb, who can't do anything except cook and clean , and it is impossible to spread any news about Akutagawa Ryunosuke. Of course, if the host is in a good mood, they will be allowed to take charge of Akutagawa's diet as an exception.Osamu Dazai originally thought that there would be only him and Akutagawa in the family, but the reason why he had to hire labor was simply because of an insignificant bottle of wine.
One day, Osamu Dazai suddenly thought of adding two bottles of ice wine to his lunch. It happened that Ryunosuke Akutagawa was going to pass by the drink shop downstairs. He asked Akutagawa to buy the wine and go upstairs to bring it to him, but Akutagawa was already gone. There was a distance after walking past the drink store, and Akutagawa thought that Dazai Osamu was much closer to the store than he was, and Dazai Osamu should go downstairs to buy it by himself.He didn't think there was any problem with his thoughts, but he didn't explain to Osamu Dazai, nor did he express his desire not to buy alcohol, and he never messaged Osamu Dazai again after he hung up the phone.He looked at the sky by the sea and missed his old friend, and Osamu Dazai stayed alone at the table without drinks until dusk.
After returning home, they quarreled all night, making the neighbors unable to sleep. No matter how many times they came to persuade them, they were still arguing endlessly, thinking that they were the one who was most wronged and should be coaxed and accommodated.
Osamu Dazai asked him why he refused to buy just a bottle of wine, and asked him why he kept himself waiting for the whole afternoon.
Akutagawa Ryunosuke asked him back: Obviously you are closer, and you can move more easily. I have bad legs, and it may take half as long as mine to go downstairs. Are you so reluctant to start by yourself? There is no order to me Is it that hard to accept?
Osamu Dazai pointed to his leg and said: I take care of you every day, your leg has healed so much but you refuse to walk, you can’t even walk dozens of steps, what use is it for me to be so useless?
The urge to cry surged up in an instant, Akutagawa Ryunosuke tried to suppress the surge of tears by swallowing saliva, choked and asked: Did you take me home to use me as a thing?
Osamu Dazai was so angry that he almost lost control of his facial expression management. He couldn't justify what was reasonable for a while, and said to him almost like a growl: I'm talking about buying wine, but you want to talk about how to treat you. Confrontation?If you admit that you made a mistake, you won't do it again in the future, isn't it over?What's wrong with this, you played outside all afternoon, I sat here alone waiting for you, you didn't see me and this family in your eyes, but asked me if I regarded you as something, then why didn't you ask you Do you just see me as a cash machine?My role is to support you?You used to be like this. You used to work harder than anyone else, so desperately trying to please me and win my appreciation. How did you become the broken jar now? You are used to being pampered by others. After raising it for a long time, I forget my roots, and I don’t want to move at all. I just want to let me hand everything to your mouth, don’t I?Don't forget that I have another identity as your teacher. You are so lazy and coquettish in front of the teacher. I didn't hit you. You are already kind, you know?High school students can earn thousands of dollars by working in summer vacation. You don’t even have the ability to earn a penny. Dad, it's not a cash machine that has been working hard and licking all the time. After ten years of being loved and loved, it's enough, you should wake up, think about who you are and what you should do to be right!
He paused for a while, took a deep breath, and after adjusting his posture, he raised his volume again: What do you think is the difference between you and a parasite!
The sound suddenly disappeared from the earth.Winter has become a silent color.Akutagawa Ryunosuke kept his head down from beginning to end, without replying a word.
He finished venting, and after saying all he wanted to say, he calmed down a lot. He looked at Akutagawa Ryunosuke, but the latter still kept his head down, making it hard to see his face and expression.Since he said a lot of exaggerated things just now, he couldn't let go of his airs and quickly changed to a good attitude, so he didn't ask Akutagawa clearly what's wrong with you.He hesitated for a while, then slowly bent down to look at Ryunosuke Akutagawa's face.
A drop of transparent, crystal-clear color flashed down from Ryunosuke Akutagawa's eye socket, and landed on the back of his hand.The skin on the back of the hand became very hot and slippery.
That night, Osamu Dazai couldn't sleep no matter what, but he didn't make a sound, just lay on the bed staring at the ceiling and fell into endless disturbing silence.At about midnight, Akutagawa Ryunosuke, who had not moved at all, suddenly raised his hand in the air, as if trying to grab something, and spoke to the ceiling in tears.
Fei Jia, don’t keep talking, Fei Jia, your silence makes me lonely, but, okay, but I don’t dislike your silence either, your silence is as distant and moving as a star, as charming as an ancient poem, everyone’s silence is It will make me feel lonely, only your silence makes me feel that I am being loved, your absence makes me feel heartbroken, as if you have died... Where are you?In which crowd on which street?Do I think you shouldn't love you, cause you won't show up, won't come back?But why did you let me meet you back then, when I was young and heartbroken, when I felt that true love was far away?The book we always open together at sunset is lost, and I can never find it again... My lonely dream reveals how much I long for you to love me alive at this very moment!Fedya, I really don't know what to do.
So Osamu Dazai understood from the deliberate and sensitive depression these days, the beautiful black eyes he had worked so hard to obtain, the body of Ryunosuke Akutagawa who had a fleshy shell but no sincerity in return for his criticism and mediation, and his attempts to win. Changing his attitude and getting along with him so that his efforts were not in vain, what he brought home was only Ryunosuke Akutagawa's sighs and cries that symbolized disappointment and alienation, and the sweet and sad Fei that sounded in his dream in the middle of the night. Jia, and a sentence that means that Osamu Dazai will never be accepted: I really don't know what to do.
Since then, Akutagawa Ryunosuke has been ill.
Ryunosuke Akutagawa's body is getting weaker and weaker day by day, and sometimes even a large tuft of hair will turn white overnight. No matter what method Dazai Osamu uses to make up for it, and what words he uses to prove that it was only his anger at the time Nonsense, it's all useless.Osamu Dazai tried every means to make Akutagawa forgive him, let Akutagawa say something to him, and let Akutagawa understand that he still loves him, but he hasn't adapted to the cohabitation life yet, so he is unavoidably overbearing.If it were Akutagawa Ryunosuke in his youth, he might take these words seriously and use them as motivation to live, but youth is gone forever.
Osamu Dazai couldn't change the fact that he was about to lose Akutagawa. Akutagawa was tortured by Osamu Dazai until he completely lost his desire to survive, and those servants who took care of daily life knew that Akutagawa Ryunosuke was bound to die, and there was no one who could take it out again. The oil and water profits were distributed to them, so they packed their bags and left overnight, and disappeared early.
Akutagawa Ryunosuke eventually fell ill in the harsh snowstorm.
This time, the booster never revived him.
When Osamu Dazai found something unusual when he came home, he hurried to the bed and asked him how he was doing. He raised his arms sickly, and begged Dazai with a smile, "Mr. Dazai, hug me." He was seriously ill, his face looked dead, his lips were so dry and white that the contours of the entire lips were blurred, almost blending into the pale face.At this time, Osamu Dazai could no longer laugh and say that Akutagawa was just moaning without illness, and he could no longer think that Akutagawa would calm down the next day so he ignored it. He could no longer maintain that calmness with a sense of superiority.
He hugged Ryunosuke Akutagawa tightly, and learned the fact that he was helpless from the touch of skin to skin.
"I love you." He hugged Akutagawa and said, "Black eyes, my little black eyes, when you walked into my world or rested in my world, I fell in love with you at first sight, from the first time I saw you I want you so much, I want to see you every day, then I blame you every day, I belittle you, in fact, I am lying, when you are silent or speaking, when you are moving or quiet, when you are by my side, when you are Can't be in front of my eyes..."
Akutagawa didn't push him away, nor did he refute, just like he promised to be taken away by him before, just like many years ago, but this time he didn't keep silent.He gave Osamu Dazai a response from the piercing of flesh and blood.
Osamu Dazai only heard the sound similar to drawing a sword out of its sheath, and then suddenly felt a tingling sensation like a thunderbolt from his chest, and just the last second, he was still because of Akutagawa Ryunosuke's sticker on I felt full of sweetness in my chest, and it was only a blink of an eye, and the sweetness turned into pain.
He let go of Akutagawa Ryunosuke, and looked down at the knife piercing through his body from behind in disbelief.
He naturally didn't know this knife, but Akutagawa Ryunosuke was very familiar with it. For Akutagawa Ryunosuke, it was the knife that allowed Fukuji Sakurachi to break through the prison and save him. The knife with which he crawled through the dark tunnel, the knife with which he sensed Dostoevsky's death with him, the knife which he pulled out bravely without hesitation when necessary.
"Why? Akutagawa, why did you do this..." The blood spread uncontrollably from his chest, "You know I'm afraid of pain...you know I'm afraid, don't you!"
He wanted to ask Akutagawa Ryunosuke for an answer, but it was obvious that his speed was below the level of death. The moment Akutagawa Ryunosuke was released by him, he collapsed on the bed, closed his eyes forever, and returned to the Those comrades who died returned to the embrace of Mother Earth.
Holding his wound, he staggered to the door of the house and opened it.The light from outside came in instantly.The dull color outside the sunlight is washed away by the sickly white daylight in an instant, only the dazzling reflection and blurred cloud lines grow back and forth between the sky and the earth, creating circles of bright white with different shades.Osamu Dazai staggered towards the door, hoping to cross the speed of life that was consistent with the speed of blood flow, even if it was only a second, he could accept it. During the period, all the nostalgia for the past and the unwillingness to fail All the silence disappeared, and all that was left was the calmness generated during the process of life being quickly drained and exhausted, and the sadness and loneliness that suddenly surged up at the end of the process.
In this calmness and loneliness, he suddenly remembered the afternoon when he took Akutagawa Ryunosuke's hand and went home together.At that time, he never thought of killing Akutagawa Gin and Dostoevsky, nor did he ever think of letting Akutagawa Ryunosuke go.
He remembered the oath he made when he brought Akutagawa home to protect Akutagawa, and the grievance tears Akutagawa shed when the two quarreled.He hasn't had time to apologize, and he hasn't had time to make up for Akutagawa's grievances.Now he will never have the chance.
So, before his vitality was completely wiped out, before the tide of death completely engulfed him, Dazai suddenly burst into pain, and couldn't move anymore, and fell into a pool of blood, not caring about his embarrassment. He left the world with a helpless appearance, like a child who shed tears because he did not have time to repent after doing something wrong: "Black eyes, my little black eyes... I can't walk anymore, carry me on your back..."
On the same day, Osamu Dazai's body was found on the street. Following the bloodstains and other clues on the deceased, the criminal police found Ryunosuke Akutagawa who was lying on the bed and died of illness. Although the body was already cold when he found it It's far from their original goal of catching people alive, but it can still be counted as the completion of the capture.
If the person brought back is a living person, it is estimated that most people will support the public execution of Akutagawa Ryunosuke. After all, the legal provisions of supernatural powers are not in the criminal law books applicable to ordinary citizens, but because of the excessive power of personal discourse that leads to power. In an unbalanced judiciary, public punishment, no matter how inhumane it may sound in the 21st century, is legally allowed as long as they agree.
It's just that the situation is a little more complicated now. What was brought back was not the living person Akutagawa Ryunosuke, but the corpse. No matter what he did to him, he would not get anything other than unhealthy flesh and blood. Some people will be shaken.
After discussing for several days, these anti-war parties who used to talk about peace and anti-war benevolence and kindness decided to use the simplest way to solve the problem. Arrange the corpses according to the number of votes after the vote. Just send Akutagawa Ryunosuke's body back to his hometown and bury him, that poor and chaotic slum, if he agrees, it's too cheap to die like this Execution.
In the end, the latter prevailed.
About 100 men and women came to the scene in person.
Akutagawa Ryunosuke's body was tied with countless threads, hands and feet, waist, neck, and hung on the wall in a large font. Next to it, a righteous young man read to the people in the audience, holding a manuscript in one hand, One hand clenched the microphone:
"One of the leaders of the expansion faction, Akutagawa Ryunosuke, a member of the unforgivable right party, is far from enough to describe him as full of evil! One of the famous members of our party, Edogawa Rampo-senpai, once had a relationship with him He has a lot of contacts, but not only did he not follow the advice of senior Edogawa to do good, but instead he repaid his kindness and killed his senior in the dungeon! He colluded with evil, and almost all the members of the expansionist faction known to the public belonged to him My dear friend, under his command, I don’t know how many people with lofty ideals against the war were killed, and I don’t know how many times our party went underground when it went underground! All the crimes have been committed, and all the bad things have been done. All members of our party are ashamed of being of the same nationality as this person! This person is one of the biggest enemies of our party on the way to counterattack, and now our party will finally capture him! Now the cleaning has been carried out At the last moment, Akutagawa Ryunosuke is the last top-ranked criminal. Here, our party will impose a truly democratic punishment on him, and let the people present decide his fate! May there be no more darkness in the Supernatural Division, May our party uphold its original aspirations, always insist on peace and anti-war, and never show mercy to figures like Ryunosuke Akutagawa who share the hatred of gods and ghosts! May our country have a bright future!"
The passionate voice was magnified by the microphone and rushed into the crowd. The excitement and urgency of the people surged in the transmission and diffusion of the voice. The subjective emotion and objective guidance perfectly fit together like crystal salt. Dissolve in water.
The people accused with outrage: Although Ryunosuke Akutagawa likes to sell ass the most, what are he selling to?They are all rich capitals
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