[Wen Ye] Hell changes

Akutagawa Ryunosuke has always been quite satisfied with the window orientation of the bedroom. He can see the complete mountain and the sea horizon with the most beautiful light and shadow. He will look at this window for a while every day. It is the most refreshing in the morning The air will ease his state of mind somewhat.

Snow falls from the sky like shattered salt, blowing over the top of the mountain under the gaze, forming cornices, drowning in the traces of people's shadows, and chasing the sparkling brilliance of the waves.The reflection of the snow lit up the glass surface, and when you approached, you could see many images from the glass surface. These innocuous images made Akutagawa Ryunosuke feel a sense of vitality.

A knock on the door rang, breaking the silence.Akutagawa replied "Come in", without moving his eyes to the door.From the window, he saw Fukuchi Sakurachi pushing the door and entering, and immediately raised a heart-wrenching smile, turned around and called Fukuchi Sakurachi's name, and asked in a tender tone full of expectation: " Why are you here?"

Fukuchi Sakura was suffocating, her heart stopped suddenly, and she was incoherent. She was very different from her usual strong and majestic appearance, and even her breathing gave off pitiful tremors that seemed to be choking.He obviously couldn't control his gaffe, but he refused to admit that he was losing his composure. He clearly wanted Akutagawa to know that he was thinking about it because of him, but he was trying not to show it, so that he formed this desire to repeat The embarrassment of saying nothing.

"Yesterday was the day you were supposed to come," he said, "but you didn't come once."

"Can't business run without subordinates?"

"Not really, it's all settled in the end."

"Then is your lord going to blame me for my absence?"

"No, I hope you don't misunderstand." He stepped forward and put his hand on Akutagawa Ryunosuke's shoulder, "I just thought that since you didn't come here a few days ago, you might not be too familiar with the recent developments. Clear, so I plan to come and talk to you in person.”

"Okay, I'll pour you some tea." Akutagawa Ryunosuke nodded with a smile, turned around, and pushed away the hands that were pressing on his shoulders logically.

At the moment of pushing away, Fukuji Sakurachi's face showed a clear look of loss, but when Akutagawa passed by him, the look of loss eased again.That natural refusal action made him feel troubled, but the beautiful side face glimpsed when passing by, as well as the mysterious charm unique to the sense of distance that made his heart beat faster, made him unable to help but be amazed. Luan Shenyao suddenly felt that everything he could see became beautiful and holy because of Akutagawa's charm and profile, so that now he himself didn't know whether he was sad or happy or sad or happy.

"Akutagawa," he said, "I have a question I really want to ask you."

"Please say."

"Time goes by so fast, and you've been with me for so long without realizing it. Thinking back to the day when I was asked to let you join the hounds, I actually didn't quite agree with it."

"Do you regret that you agreed to join me?"

"No, I don't regret it at all. Now I want to thank the person who entrusted me. Because of him, I can..." He bit his lip, "I can work with you."

"I am also very grateful to that gentleman. Although I don't know who he is, it is an honor in my life to be able to work by your side."

"This is exactly the question I really want to know now, Akutagawa, if you knew who this person is, would you agree to all his requests out of gratitude? That person really loves you very much, if you recognize him , will you be with him from now on, and then leave me?"

It was rare for Akutagawa Ryunosuke not to blurt out, and fell into hesitation.

Can he really recognize this person who helped him?

I still remember that when Dostoevsky was trapped in prison, the port mafia's order to kill him was not revoked, and he did not have the conditions and opportunities to meet Edogawa Ranpo, so the Armed Detective Agency must also There was no way to help him without prejudice, let alone when he was getting sick, disabled, penniless, and homeless.Gogol was the last one standing by his side, but even Gogol left at that time, and no one could protect him anymore.If it wasn't for this mysterious person pleading with Fukuji Sakurachi to allow him to join the hounds, he might have been driven to a dead end by the people and died tragically not long after Gogol faked his death and used "books" to confuse the public's perception on the side of the road.Although the hound was not his ideal destination at all, it had to be admitted that this was the only way for him to survive under the conditions at that time.

Moreover, if it wasn't for the help of this mysterious person, he would never have had the opportunity to experience the dark side of officialdom, nor would he have the opportunity to go deep into the inner circle and learn that someone actually wanted to start a war.The process of hiding was really lonely and painful, but if he had the chance to choose again, he would definitely choose to hide for the sake of the motherland without hesitation...

When will I be able to recognize this savior?Akutagawa Ryunosuke was not so sure.

Speaking of which, I don’t know what is going on with Gogol now. He said that he faked his death, which means he should still be alive now.At this time, where will Gogol be, in which corner will he hide, and is he planning something new?As long as he's okay...

"You really hesitated." Fukuchi Sakurachi sighed deeply, "In order to save you from the fire and water, you sacrificed all your dignity and begged me for mercy. You were even willing to kneel down to me for this. Putting aside prejudice, in fact, I I also admire this person's deep affection, and I can understand your gratitude to him, although..."Although, I still hope that you can choose me.He silently added the incomplete sentence in his heart, expressing his grievances without anyone knowing.

I am so hopeful, desperate and hopeful, lost and excited, lonely and full of heart, depressed and intoxicated.Sunrise and sunset will also show a rose color, just like the spots of a butterfly, but without your rose spots, it is so dark and distressing, but with your rose spots, it is so peaceful and burning.

More than sunrise and sunset, more than, more than, far more than.It also includes the vicissitudes of life, and even goes far beyond Vientiane.Without you, tomorrow's sun will be more cumbersome and useless than broken stones, and the sky will be more stinky than waste water and mud, and I, and I, and I...

"Akutagawa, please listen to me carefully." He made up his mind, ignoring that his sudden approach startled Akutagawa who was thinking, and tightly grasped Akutagawa's palm.

Before Akutagawa could get out of his thoughts completely, he felt a strong wind flashing in front of him in a trance, his hands were firmly grasped, and Fukuchi Sakurachi's face suddenly moved closer, which made him subconsciously think To retreat, to flee out the door.

"There are many people in the country who don't know the heights of the sky and the earth, and use the name of patriotism to spread our bad news everywhere, trying to block our way forward, destroying the unity of the Japanese people, and ruining the stalwart image I have built among the people over the years... Humph, The outside world must be settled first. If these people are not completely wiped out, we will not be able to send troops abroad. There will definitely be shit stirrers who call themselves spies to spread our news abroad, so these people must be wiped out. I have already sent up The upper echelons have requested funds to establish a special academy to train spies belonging to our camp, to fight back with fire, to infiltrate these anti-war parties, and none of these people can escape.”

Having said that, he changed his cold and stern expression, and gave Akutagawa a gentle smile.

"In fact, the situation of the war has become very clear. There are only two outcomes for this internal struggle in Japan. One is that the anti-war party cannot be wiped out. We can only accept our fate and have to give up the plan to start the war... The other is that We have completely smashed the anti-war party, without hindrance, and stretched our power abroad with our heads held high. To be honest, I am not incapable of reflection, and I often think about the way out. I have to admit that the possibility of the first outcome Sex is also very big, then, Akutagawa..."

He squeezed Akutagawa's hand even tighter.

"At that time, our fate is self-evident. I will not be afraid of the result, but what about you? You are so fragile, so young...After failure, you will fall into the hands of the people, and you will die badly. I can't bear it. So I want to promise you that if I really fail, I will try my best to protect you so that you can retreat. Please don't worry, just give me your heart and follow me. enough."

Akutagawa nodded absently.

"If it succeeds, as I promised before, and I become the hero of the world, then I hope to be with you for the rest of my life. Yes, it may be abrupt to say this, but I can take the item The head guarantees the degree of sincerity. I miss you very much, Akutagawa, I miss you every day and night, every minute and every second, I miss you when you are not there, and I miss you when you are here... I hope that one day you can be with that lifesaver I will not leave my side because of this, choose the latter between him and me, and be with me forever. Are you willing? I want to hear a sincere answer."

Akutagawa was ashamed to speak, so he didn't reply immediately, but just looked at him with his lips pursed.At this time, Akutagawa has come out of the trance just now, and has returned to the previous state of ease, but when he mustered up the courage to look at Fukuji Sakurachi, he still couldn't help but be fiercely struck by the fire of love in the other party's eyes. It's hot.

The astonishing love swayed in Fukuji Sakurachi's eyes.The flame-like momentum was like a waterfall, and it flew wildly in every inch of the eye lines and even the high-light dots on the pupil rainbow, and it almost burned Akutagawa to death.The appearance of the melt is not only like warm water ironed by the inner flame, but also like a drop or two of extremely high-temperature liquid residue scorched by the outer flame. In short, it is nothing more than being coerced by the flame.Akutagawa is confident in controlling Fukuji Sakurachi's heart, but the degree of obsession in Fukuji Sakurachi's eyes and the determination to consider the future for him have far exceeded his imagination and expectations, which made him feel It was so unusual to be at a loss.

Perhaps it was because of its unusualness that it brought an unbalanced sense of weightlessness to each other, so that he didn't want to and dare not accept this relationship, and Fukuji Sakurachi himself didn't dare to think carefully about how sick this relationship is.Fukuchi Sakurachi's subconscious is afraid to think deeply, he is afraid that if he really comes to the hopeless conclusion, and comes to the fact that he is a loser and a clown in front of Akutagawa, then all his dignity and The proud capital will fall apart, and his spirit will be drawn into a weightless and powerless alien space, twisted into a disfigured appearance of being mutilated and dead.

Akutagawa just wants to stay away from this person now, and doesn't want to answer such embarrassing questions.He originally planned to pretend to be unwell, so as to tactfully drive Fukuchi Sakurachi out, but after this exchange, he seemed to be really unwell.There is no need to pretend, his eyebrows and expressions already reveal a sickly temperament, as if it is not the ears that listen to Fukuji Sakurachi's words but the diaphragm of the upper abdomen, and it is not the hearing but the hearing that witnesses the emotional ups and downs in the words. Physical strength, the discomfort and distress caused by words do not linger in the heart and brain, but search for the heart and lungs and the intestines that yearn for unity.

He began to feel tight in his chest, and his breathing was a little difficult.Seeing his pale face, Fukuchi Sakurachi looked as if he was about to die of illness at any moment, and quickly helped him to lie down, and hurriedly searched for emergency medicine in the room.

Akutagawa didn't want to take the medicine, but just wanted him to go, so after taking the hot water and the medicine pills, he said tactfully, "I want to be alone for a while."

Fukuchi Sakura went away angrily.

I can only keep the rest of the words in my heart, and I will say it to Akutagawa when I have a chance in the future, or in other words, is there another chance to say it to Akutagawa?He couldn't answer that.All he knew was that Akutagawa didn't want him to stay.At such a time when care and concern are needed, Akutagawa does not intend to give him the opportunity to accompany him.He could see it.

Before leaving, Fukuji Sakura glanced at Su Akutagawa, saw Akutagawa lying on his side on the bed clearly, and rubbed that appearance into his mind with almost pressing force.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke pursed his lips due to chest tightness, and from time to time took a bite with his inconspicuous small fangs, biting the bead in the middle of his upper lip until it shone beautifully, and paired it with The appearance of being wet by the tip of the tongue seems to have gently pasted a small round bead in the middle of the lips.

His cheeks were sickly rose red, and his neck also showed a crystal color due to a thin layer of sweat. The white ruffled collar made the neck more beautiful, and even his fingers and wrists had a kind of tinge. The soft and boneless visual sense rests on the side of the face and forehead.The appearance of the nails is like pale jade, which is obviously unhealthy. The blood vessels on the back of the hand are light blue that is demure and harmless. fog.The shiny and beautiful lines on the fingernails are like the diagonal lines on the inside of a shell, reflecting a vertical light.The light moved with the change of the angle of the nail, and slid along the lines of the thin and shallow nail lines in parallel, as if a flattened white petal was spinning and dancing on his nail.The dance is so beautiful that it makes people feel a kind of unreasonable sadness.

This is the limit of morbid beauty Fukuji Sakurachi can imagine.That is the feeling Akutagawa Ryunosuke presented to him.

Seeing Akutagawa Ryunosuke's knees bent slightly as if frightened, seeing the hem of the plain clothes stretching and curling against Akutagawa Ryunosuke's body line, seeing the beads of sweat on the chin swimming past the collarbone, It swam across the chest, dripped along the texture lines of the lower part, and sank into the clothes, leaving an inexplicably beautiful sweat-stained bright mark.

As long as he saw these details, an indescribable pain would appear on his face.This kind of pain fills every cell and even every molecular atom in the body, making Akutagawa look more and more extraordinary because of his illness, and making Fukuchi Sakurachi's face look like the yellow ivory color of adipine pills, compared to Akutagawa Come on, it's more like a patient.

These men who are trying to become kings and winners always want to make the past shine, want to last forever, and want to get a beauty who can compare men and women in the world.Akutagawa Ryunosuke has a cool temperament, an aloof temperament, an elusive figure, and a slender body, with sickly temples and a sickly waist. Who doesn't want to kill all stubborn enemies and tie such a person by his side forever?Especially for those autocratic and tyrannical men, the effect is more obvious.They firmly believe that they will be favored by God and sympathized by beautiful women, and no matter what they go through, they will return home as the chosen ones with full rewards.Difficulties and hardships, my Lord is with me, wind, frost, rain and snow, the Holy Light is with me.For the rest of his life, Akutagawa Ryunosuke will always be on the throne, so elegant, white all over, with black temples and ink garlands, eyes and soft bones.

Just such a beautiful delusion can make them willing to die, die.

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The author has something to say:

Dostoevsky/Osamu Dazai: You can read my ID number.