[Wen Ye] Hell changes

If you ignore the recent frequent terrorist attacks, Yokohama is still that comfortable and beautiful port city. Of course, this is only for some organizations or public relations in this city.Ordinary people still enjoy the life of citizens in a developed city in a first-class developed country. What they need to do is to get up and get out of bed, and the end is to gargle and fall asleep.Human beings are of all shapes and sizes, each with needs and desires.

The rumors that Ryunosuke Akutagawa was seriously ill and suspected of being raped spread through a news channel from nowhere.First suspected, then heard, followed by, the most certain.Ryunosuke Akutagawa must have been raped.The rumors slowly spread.Some people involved may have no malice towards Ryunosuke Akutagawa himself, but what these people care about is not a person's reputation, but simply want to satisfy their own desire to talk about others behind their backs.Akutagawa Ryunosuke's reputation is extremely low.Everyone said that he had a distorted sexual orientation, was raped/defiled by passers-by, and was physically and mentally unclean. In Ji's arms, he acts as Master Rabbit and a double agent.

A small number of people doubt these rumors and don't believe them at all. Some extreme people even directly contribute news, insisting on the innocence of Akutagawa Ryunosuke.Most of these people are Akutagawa's former defeated generals. Akutagawa Ryunosuke's thin but tough figure is engraved in their souls. How straightforward they were in defeat at the beginning, and how determined they are now to insist on Akutagawa's clean view shift.However outnumbered and ruthless in speech, even though everyone knows that the truth is in the hands of a few, following the crowd is still the subconscious choice of the vast majority of human beings, and those who are too rare and outstanding often end badly.So these people who wanted to help Akutagawa Ryunosuke turned out to be a disservice, and Akutagawa Ryunosuke was accused of demagogy, and in the oral tradition of immature children, he became a elusive, beautiful and vicious black-eyed ladyboy .

Akutagawa Ryunosuke is no longer the top mafia that everyone is willing to spend a lot of money for him, but the object of the people's sneer, a dirty thing that men, women and children despise, his existence is unreasonable, which just proves Huxley's words: the plain truth will be covered up by exciting lies.

Language has contributed to man's progress from animal to civilized man, but it has also inspired ignorance and systematic, horrific evil that are as characteristic of human behavior as the forethought and kindness that speech inspires.Language allows its speakers to focus on things, people, and events even when those things and people don't exist and those events don't happen.Language shapes human memory by transforming experience into symbols, translating immediate desire or aversion, hatred into fixed emotions and codes of conduct.

No one cares about where Akutagawa Ryunosuke is going, no one cares about whether he is helpless in this country, no one thinks about what kind of homeless and humble fate he is experiencing.No one would suddenly think of saying, where is Akutagawa now, why didn't he see him.No one knew how he was struggling with the illness.The city was full of wind and rain, verbal attacks, and an invisible vortex, ruthlessly engulfed Akutagawa Ryunosuke.

Everything is like the day he just joined the port mafia. Everyone is watching him, ignoring him, missing him, and forgetting him.ridicule.crowd out.isolated.talk.fear.He once described his childhood as desolate, persecuted by wind, frost and swords, and endless loneliness. Who would have thought that he has lived for 20 years now, and he is still living in this world like this.There was a moment, really just a moment, even just a moment, when Osamu Dazai took him away, Ryunosuke Akutagawa once thought that maybe he could live a better life, but he lived more and more. Painful, still helpless 20 years later, just as lonely as the day I was born.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa breathes with the death he created as the source of life. Only when he sees Dostoyevsky appear, he lifts up like a mummy injected with a ray of life-continuing immortality. He raised his sickly black eyes and called out: Fedya.

Four years of medical care, it turns out, is nothing but fart.To be honest, he didn’t really heal in Russia, but when he was close to Dostoevsky, he would feel a little relieved, and because Dostoyevsky was with him almost every day in those years, everyone thought he was It's almost too good, including himself thinks so.But now his true colors have been revealed, and without Dostoevsky, he would have turned into a pool of stagnant water again.

In the morning, he had chest tightness and difficulty in breathing. At noon, he had stomach pain and stomach cramps. At night, his heart was ashamed and he sighed at the moon.The visceral wounds from when Osamu Dazai taught him have accumulated for several years, and have never been healed in time, and have never received care from Osamu Dazai.Depression made him have to take risperidone every day, and severe anorexia made him unable to carry out normal physical activities. Even if it was just an ordinary outing to bask in the sun, he was too weak to look up to receive the gift of sunshine.He was still terribly underweight, and despite Dostoevsky's persuasion to adjust, that appalling figure had not recovered.

Dostoyevsky bought him a new coat, saying that the style was as close as possible to the original one, you should try it, with Rashomon, you will feel safe.Sitting in a wheelchair, looking at the beauty under the moon in full bloom by the window, he called Rashomon sickly, and Rashomon slowly stretched out from the neat fabric texture, as if it had been sprinkled with a handful of sea salt. Shaking miserably like an animal, gently catching the fallen petals.When the petals floated on Rashomon's body, the subtle touch reached the owner Akutagawa Ryunosuke's body and mind.He felt his nostalgia for the creature, and the creature's cold response to him. As for life and death, love and hatred, that was a cruel fact that could only be felt after the cold response ended.

So at that moment Akutagawa Ryunosuke smiled: After I die, please throw the body into the burning place and cremate me.I don't want my warm ashes, a symbol of my life, locked up in a cedar box that will never be opened.I seek ashes in the dark, not rose-coloured ossuaries.

"No, keep going." Tosi comforted him and said, "Didn't you say that I am your heart? I am still alive, your heart is still here, and I will not die. Think about Iceland. Think Think Aurora. Think Life."

"it is good."

Iceland.aurora.life.These three nouns and the emotions behind them became the only motivation to support Akutagawa.Some time ago he was still half dead like this, but after a few days, he began to work hard visibly.He challenged the disease and declared to death.

Iceland.aurora.life.Fei Jia.As long as you survive these, you can yearn for places north of the North Pole.To the north is the mysterious other shore that all human beings have not known so far, and it is the aurora that is waiting for him and Fei Jia to go to under the sky.It is a road of destiny with more twists and turns.It is another north leading to true tranquility.is hope.is life.It was Dostoevsky.

So Akutagawa Ryunosuke cheered up.He communicates with Akutagawa Gin on mobile or paper every day.After learning that Higuchi Ichiyo was called back urgently and was strangled to leave him, he just hummed and didn't express his opinion.Akutagawa Yin comforted him from time to time, telling him about the rumors of the port mafia.Even though he had been dismissed as the leader of the Fighting Faction, she still addressed him in the letter: You.Master Akutagawa.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke didn't mind. He believed that after he recovered, he would go back and continue the family relationship with his sister that he hadn't taken care of for many years. At that time, his sister would let go of these etiquettes for him.Akutagawa Gin insisted that even if you are gone, in my eyes, you are the only leader, and I will not agree with anyone other than you. Ms. Higuchi is also constantly begging for you, hoping that the leader will not give up on you , you are not alone.

At that time, Ryunosuke Akutagawa thought, great, fortunately he chose to fight, otherwise he would not be blessed to see the little girl say this sentence, what a cute and sincere words, this string of Japanese characters is almost as if alive The birds are jumping on this letter paper.These birds awakened his nostalgia for the free sky.

On the other side, when Akutagawa Yin received the reply, he wrote a reply saying: Brother, Xiao Yin loves you forever.But she hesitated for a while, and immediately crossed out the sentence, followed by the subordinate's respectful and rigid answer to the boss.After finishing writing, she felt that she hadn't scratched it cleanly, and she could vaguely see what she had written from the mess of ink.So she blushed, crumpled up the letter paper and threw it aside, took a new piece of paper and wrote it again.

Akutagawa began to try to let life pass through like sunlight filtering through a prism, decomposing all kinds of pain into the simplest white, just as light can be decomposed into seven primary colors.

He met Atsushi Nakajima on the first day he tried to go for a walk.Of course he didn't know the latter, it was the latter who recognized him at first sight.

He maneuvered the wheelchair awkwardly, not daring to look up into anyone's eyes.He felt that the whole world was watching him and talking about him. This kind of psychological pressure made him feel like he was sitting on pins and needles, and the scorching heat and flames pouring down on his body felt like snowflakes in June.Seeing that the wheelchair was about to hit the electric pole because he didn't look at the road, Atsushi Nakajima passed by and immediately supported him.Akutagawa Ryunosuke looked up somewhat unexpectedly.

Atsushi Nakajima didn't know what to say, and he didn't know how to call him. Call him Akutagawa, or the dirty beast that is now going viral, or someone that Osamu Dazai would call in his dreams?Forget it, it was the first time Akutagawa Ryunosuke saw him anyway.In the end, Atsushi Nakajima stopped talking many times, and just said: "Be careful."

"Yeah." Akutagawa nodded uncomfortably.

"There is a slope ahead, do you want to go over it? Let me push you."

"No need. Thank you for your concern."

"But you look like this..."

"No need." Akutagawa repeated persistently, shaking off his hand.

Atsushi Nakajima doesn't understand, why Akutagawa Ryunosuke refused his help, obviously it has reached the point where he can't do without help, isn't it?Could it be that he would rather fall here alone, crawling on the ground with his chin propped up, than be supported by others?Didn't he ask the people who passed by just now to show him the way?Don't begging for something by pulling the collar of someone who seems gentle and kind?Atsushi Nakajima was thinking about random things.While he was thinking, Ryunosuke Akutagawa got into his wheelchair and left slowly.

Where will he go next?Did you pass by the very open river embankment in that area, or did you stop in front of a demolished house and stare at the rubble and broken bricks?Where did he come from, and did he get separated from someone?Atsushi Nakajima couldn't figure it out.

Looking at Ryunosuke Akutagawa's back, he recalled the photo he saw on Osamu Dazai's cell phone back then.In that photo, Ryunosuke Akutagawa's face is full of collagen, his expression is very quiet and beautiful, his skin is fair and light red, and his whole body is wrapped in a warm color cage. That clear and fresh young face , looks like Hokkaido's Fengxue's cold head reflected in the setting sun.Thinking of this, and thinking of the Akutagawa Ryunosuke he saw just now, Nakajima Atsushi didn't know why, but felt that he wanted to shed tears.