evening mountain [rebirth]

Saying still, tears like rain

He Wanshan was woken up by the ringing of the mobile phone.

At two o'clock in the morning, the unfamiliar phone number and the initial ringtone that comes with the phone are extremely harsh in the quiet night.

He Wanshan stretched out her hand to find the cell phone beside the pillow, and hung up the phone without thinking.

His company and clients are very humane, and the project in hand has ended. At this point in time, no one will disturb his dream.

Except harassing phone calls.

But the other party was unwilling to let go, and the phone rang again within a few seconds.

He Wanshan got up on his back, picked up the phone and looked carefully at where the number belonged.

It's Beijing.

It has been five years since he returned to China. Although he often travels on business, his main place of work is still in Shanghai. Most of his business contacts are through WeChat and emails. Few people who know his phone number will call him late at night.

who can that be?

He Wanshan called back, and the call was quickly connected.

The voice on the other end of the phone was very strange, and He Wanshan asked several times before he remembered from the other party's vague answer that this person was Xu Luoxing, who he didn't have much friendship with in high school.

"What's the matter?" He Wanshan asked politely, a high school classmate whom he hadn't seen in ten years suddenly contacted you, he didn't think that the other party just wanted to catch up with the classmate who hadn't spoken much in three years in high school on a whim.

But what responded to him was silence.

He Wanshan vaguely heard some small voices and clinking of wine glasses, the other party seemed to be drunk, calling him at two o'clock in the morning presumably was a mistake while drunk.

He Wanshan sighed, and was about to hang up the phone. He could accompany each other's classmates if it was to catch up with each other, but he didn't have the leisure to chat with a drunk late at night.

However, just when he was about to hang up the phone, the other party spoke.

"He Wanshan, I'm sorry." Xu Luoxing's voice was hoarse, and his tone was erratic after being drunk, "There is something I should have told you a long time ago..."

He Wanshan didn't expect the other party to apologize to him suddenly.

Maybe it's because a certain person's existence is too sharp and amazing. In his high school days, Xu Luoxing didn't impress him much, so that he couldn't even think of the other party's sudden apology. The place.

But Xu Luoxing's next words made the last trace of sleepiness in him disappear.

"Actually... the person who took away your father's police badge was not Yu Ran, but me."

He Wanshan was startled suddenly, and with a thud, a corner of his heart seemed to be pried open, and the dull pain he had endured for ten years surged hastily.

"Xu Luoxing, what did you say..."

He didn't know how long he hadn't heard the name Yu Ran from others.

If Xu Luoxing hadn't mentioned it suddenly, he might never try to remember him in his life.

"He Wanshan, I didn't know it was the only relic left by your father. If I knew that you would lend me a hundred courage, I wouldn't dare to joke about it!" Xu Luoxing's tone was full of regret and regret. Blaming myself, "I regretted it when you broke up with Brother Ran back then. I know all of this is my fault. I wanted to ask you to apologize, but you had already gone abroad at that time."

"In the next few years, I looked for everyone, but no one could contact you. It wasn't until Xu Jiaxing told me that he saw you in Shanghai a few days ago, so I tried to call you."

"Stop talking." He Wanshan interrupted him.

"Xu Luoxing, ten years have passed now." There was a tremor in He Wanshan's voice that he didn't even notice, "It's been ten years."

He didn't know whether he was angry that the other party had concealed it for ten years, and only now did he tell the truth, or he was annoyed that the ten years of separation between him and Yu Ran turned out to be just a misunderstanding in the end.

After graduating from high school that year, he went abroad as if he had fled. In order to cut off all the past, he cut off contact with everyone, and told no one when he returned to work after graduating from university.

He thinks that his greatest hope in this life is to live the rest of his life smoothly. He tries not to recall the past, and keeps the memory of a certain person in his heart. He no longer wants to have anything to do with the past, but fate is always like this What a fool, he had to recall everything related to that person after ten years of escaping.

Then he told himself that his ten years of self-torture were just a misunderstanding.

"What's the use of telling me to apologize to me now? Everything is in the past. If you miss it, you miss it. None of us can go back to the past."

"But He Wanshan, Brother Ran, he really likes you, He Wanshan, Brother Ran, he really treats you sincerely! I know I was wrong—"

"Xu Luoxing, don't mention it anymore." He Wanshan sighed wearily.

"I'm tired, and I don't pursue the past anymore."

So don't make him upset, let him blame himself, let him worry about gains and losses.

The past has passed away with the wind, and the bloody wound has scabbed and scarred. He has used ten years to forget that midsummer, and he does not want to spend another ten years regretting the decision he made back then.

Life is too short, and he doesn't want to torture himself any longer.

Regardless of what the other party said next, He Wanshan hung up the phone and blocked the number as if fleeing.

The screen went dark, and the room echoed with a faint sound of wind.

He Wanshan stared blankly out of the window, before dawn, the stars and the moon were dark, and the eyes were dark blue, like diving into the silent deep sea.

Can not go back.He Wanshan told himself so.

People are like Populus euphratica, whose heart is burnt to ashes and still stands stubbornly, thinking that as long as the spring breeze blows, it will sprout and grow leaves like ten years ago, but they don't know that the heart inside has already died thoroughly.

It's been ten years, and time has become a poison of regret, no one can go back, and he can't find himself back then.

He Wanshan sat by the bed blankly for a long time, the sleepiness that had been brewing for a long time was gone, and half an hour later, the phone rang again.

The calling number displayed on the screen of the mobile phone is very strange. It looks like it should be the landline number of a public phone booth.

He Wanshan was in a state of confusion, thinking that after Xu Luoxing found out that he had been blocked, he found a public phone booth by the side of the road and picked up the phone casually.

"Xu Luoxing, I said that I don't want to talk about the past anymore."

"it's me."

He Wanshan was taken aback.

"It's me, Remnant."

The voice on the other end of the phone repeated.

He Wanshan tried his best to calm himself down, but his eyes and mind were hot, and white water mist suddenly rolled up in his supposedly clear vision.He tried to find reason in the chaos like falling clouds, but at that moment his mind was full of familiar and unfamiliar voices.

"Xu Luoxing said that he has contacted you." Yu Ran's voice was slightly hoarse, as if trying to hold back something.

"Wan Shan, I'm still single. I miss you very much, let's meet up."

He Wanshan agreed.

On the phone, he didn't ask about the misunderstandings that year, rather than explaining all this over the phone, he wanted to see Yu Ran in person.

The night before leaving, there was a long-lost torrential rain in Shanghai.

In the middle of the night, there was thunder in the sky outside the window, huge raindrops crackled on the glass, and the pale lightning that pierced the curtains awakened He Wanshan in his sleep.

He got up from the sofa and poured himself a glass of water, his dry throat hurt a little.

The south is not as good as the north, and the late spring cold in March is the most tormenting. Every year at this time, he would catch a bad cold because of the cold.

He Wanshan turned on the phone screen and glanced at the time. The number at the top of the call log was yesterday, Ruili, Yunnan. The aftermath of being missing for ten years without saying a word is now in the southwest border so far away from him.

At this time, there was another thunder outside the window, as if rolling from a far away place, followed by lightning, which dazzled the eyes for a while.

He Wanshan sat on the edge of the bed blankly, feeling a little uneasy in his heart. He raised his head and saw the shining rain and glass in the gap between the curtains, the bone-chilling ice blue.

It's raining harder.

The rain stopped in the early hours of the morning.

Shanghai in the early morning is still busy, and the continuous flow of traffic interweaves into golden and red rivers.

He Wanshan simply packed his luggage and took a taxi to the high-speed rail station early.

Maybe she shouldn't have agreed to see him.This was the first thought that came to He Wanshan's mind when he got on the high-speed train.

Everything that happened that year is still painful when he recalls it. He knows the taste by taste, and he is covered with scars.

But people are always used to being humble, and love to miss the pain over and over again in the dead of night. Knowing that they will repeat the same mistakes, they will still be willing to sink when they see the most sinful people.

Perhaps it was harder for him to let go of the lingering flame than he imagined.He spent ten years deliberately forgetting this person who carried all his youth.

Now, because of the other party's simple sentence "Let's meet each other", he desperately boarded the train bound for Yunnan.

He knew that he was irrational now, but he still couldn't help imagining in his mind, what should he say when he saw Yu Ran?

After a long absence of ten years, they are no longer the innocent and innocent children. Even if everything was just a misunderstanding, ten years have changed too much.

But he couldn't deny the expectation in his heart, and the throbbing that couldn't be restrained was loudly chattering in his chest.

Now all misunderstandings are relieved, and nothing can stop them from falling in love.He has a decent job and a stable life, and he no longer needs to care about the worldly vision. At this time, only a short land of 2456 kilometers separates them.

Eleven hours later, they were able to embrace unscrupulously in the scent of tea flowers in Yunnan.

But things are unpredictable.

Two hours before arriving in Yunnan, He Wanshan received a call from the Public Security Bureau of Ruili City, Yunnan Province.

At this time, the train radio broadcasted a reminder that it was about to enter the tunnel, and He Wanshan's nerves began to tense. The train entering the tunnel fell into a violent collapse of darkness, and the voice on the other end of the phone became blurred and messy due to poor signal. But he still heard the other party's last words clearly in the howling wind.

"Boom—"

The train quickly drove out of the tunnel.

He Wanshan raised her head in a panic and looked out of the car window. Outside the car window was the beautiful landscape of Yunnan, and the camellias that were in flowering period were in full bloom.

But everything was too late.

He couldn't wait for the reunion with Yu Ran, let alone give him a long-lost hug on the high-speed rail platform like the plots he always played in movies.

All he waited for was the news of Yu Ran's heroic sacrifice in the anti-drug operation, and a blood-stained police badge.

And their unrekindled love no longer counts.

Ruili is a border city in Yunnan.After getting off the high-speed train in Kunming, He Wanshan boarded the bus bound for Ruili, bumping around for several hours before arriving at the police station mentioned on the phone.

It was a very remote town in Ruili, Yunnan, close to the border, and the head of the local Public Security Bureau was in charge of receiving him.

This man in his 40s had a tired and old face that didn't match his age. When he saw him, he didn't speak, but handed him a diary with red eyes.

"Take a look, maybe there are some words that the kid left for you."

……

December 12th, overcast;

Recently, my memory has deteriorated, and I don’t know if it’s the sequelae of the injury I got when I caught the drug dealer last time. Team Zhang suggested that I write a diary when I’m free. I’m so young that I can’t have a worse memory than a few of them.

I thought about it, and it’s okay. In fact, I had the habit of writing a diary before I came to Yunnan. It’s just that I’ve been too busy to take care of it these years. Since I’m a little free now, I’ll just write something and record my life.

……

December 12th, sunny;

Hey, it's easy to think of Wan Shan when I write a diary. Wan Shan taught me the habit of writing a diary. I didn't expect it to be ten years now, and I don't know if he is doing well now.

……

January 1, sunny;

Wan Shan, forgive me for not being able to let you go after all these years.

I violated the agreement back then, and I still cling to the short-term relationship between you and me, but I think I deserve it.

Over the years in Yunnan, I have always dreamed about you.Your grades are so good, you must be living better than me now, maybe you have already married a wife and had children and have a happy family.

I know that it's not my turn to be sad and angry. I also know that I can't blame Xu Luoxing all the responsibility. Losing your father's police badge is just the last grass that breaks the camel's back.The one who really hurt you is me. I forced you to push you too hard. I insisted on making you admit the relationship between you and me. You hate me and hate me. I deserve it. The only thing I can do now is Come to Yunnan and revive the alarm signal that was sealed up after your father died in the line of duty.

Wan Shan, my life in the past was too failure, if you see me now, can you feel a little proud of me.

……

On February 2, sunny to cloudy;

Wan Shan, I find that I can't help but think of you every time I get hurt.

I was lucky this time. The doctor in the city said that if the knife was inserted another centimeter, the aorta would be severed.

Team Zhang was taken aback by me, and began to persuade me to transfer to a safe post.

After thinking about it, I still refused. There was a shortage of people in the bureau, and this place was close to the border. If I left, there would only be a few wounded old men in their 40s left in the team.

Although I am already in my third year and I am not considered a young man, I am still better than those old men.

……

February 2, heavy rain;

Wanshan, it's raining today, and my legs and hands hurt badly.

In fact, after graduating from high school, I wanted to go to you and explain to you what happened back then.Xu Luoxing failed to hide it from me, I taught him a lesson and let him lie on the bed for a week, he deserved it.And I don't want to run away like this any longer. The mistakes I made when I was young should be borne by me. I won't ask for your forgiveness, and I don't expect our relationship to return to the way it was before.

Wan Shan, I just want to see you again.

If you are already married, then treat me as an old friend who has been reunited for a long time and come to say goodbye to you.

Wan Shan, I miss you very much.

……

January 3, sunny;

Wanshan, Xu Luoxing said that you are still single now, without a wife or boyfriend!

Damn it, why didn't this bastard tell me earlier, doesn't that mean I still have a chance now? !

No, I have to ask the director for half-day leave tomorrow to go to a barber shop in the city to get my hair cut, and try to make a good impression on you.

……

August 3, overcast;

I'm going to meet Wan Shan tomorrow. After this mission is over, I have to go to the flower shop in the city to buy a bouquet of his favorite camellia.

I don't know what Wanshan will look like after ten years, whether he will dislike me for being tanned and strong.Damn it, I should ask Xu Luoxing more on the phone, I just heard that Wan Shan is still single, so I couldn't help but call him, and said without thinking, I want to meet up, it's too late Shan agreed.

That brat Xu Luoxing even asked me if I had changed my mind. It was a joke. Even if Wan Shan has become a 30-year-old man with a beer belly, I still like him. As long as he doesn't dislike me, I will apply to be transferred to Wan Shan with the director. Go to work where he works, and take care of him every day in the future.

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow, and I hope tonight's operation can also end safely.

……

This is the diary of the day before Yu Ran's sacrifice, and all words have come to an end since then.

He Wanshan turned to the first page of the diary, and then carefully flipped through the pages one by one, for fear of missing a word.

In the past ten years of Yu Ran, he never participated in it, but his name is written everywhere in this diary.

He Wanshan turned the diary to the last page.

Yu Ran's diary only recorded the day before his arrival, logically speaking, the last page should be blank.

But on the last page of the diary, he saw Yu Ran seriously writing a poem with a pen.

He didn't know what kind of expectation and longing Yu Ran had when he wrote this poem, he only knew that looking at it now, these fourteen simple words made him cry like rain.

"May there be years to look back on, and grow old together with affection."

He Wanshan trembled and closed the diary in his hand. The color of the sky was as silent as a drunken dream, and the light dripping from the end of the leaves was like tears, but with a refreshing fragrance.

He recalled the past in the warm and mellow camellia fragrance in Yunnan. Ten years ago, the lingering flames were like this. On the last page of his diary, he wrote a sentence like claws.

"He Wanshan, when will you tell me that I love you?"

Yu Ran asked him this sentence too many times, but never waited for his answer.

"Yu Ran, you bad guy." He Wanshan closed his eyes fiercely, suppressing the stinging pain in his heart like a storm, and then tried his best to show a gentle smile, and lowered his eyes to the girl who was sleeping in the coffin. The person who would wake up spoke softly.

"Yu Ran, I love you."

When I said it still, tears fell like rain.

……

That year, Yu Ran was 29 years old and He Wanshan was 28 years old.

In the lingering fragrance of camellia in Yunnan tea, he bid farewell to his beloved young man.

After the three-day funeral, He Wanshan set foot on the way home with the ashes and remains.

After graduating from high school, Yu Ran severed ties with his family, and the family members were silent after hearing the news of his death. In the end, he decided to take away Yu Ran's ashes and belongings.

Just like when he came here, He Wanshan quietly took the boy who would never wake up and took the bus home.

He thought that he would no longer have any hope for love from now on. The great grief prompted him to book a flight ticket to Iceland in a week. Maybe he would not be willing to set foot on it again for a long time after that. the land.

Avoiding shame is the only cure for wounds.

He will leave, as he did ten years ago, and he will find a quiet place, preferably less crowded.North of 37 degrees north latitude, in a foreign country far away from the homeland, the cold snow and frost will freeze the lingering sorrow into a dull regret, and time will teach him to forget.

But everything is nothing if.

It's like he failed to guess that the unrekindled love between him and Yu Ran would end like this in the end.

On the day he left Yunnan, the bus he was riding in had an accident.

It was in the evening, the sky was full of blazing fire clouds, the sunset glow was solidified like watercolor, and the sky was as grand as burning everything.The moment the car fell from the cliff, He Wanshan saw the bright red camellias all over the mountains and plains outside the car window.

He smelled the gentle sweetness of the camellia in the whistling wind and the weightlessness of the rapid fall, and he was in a trance for a moment. The fragrance of the flower brought his memory back to ten years ago.

It was the time when the town of his hometown had not been remodeled, the green hills and beautiful waters were covered with mottled mossy white walls and black tiles, and the courtyard with luxuriant locust trees and green waves was the home he had not returned to for a long time.

He Wanshan forgot his heartache and fear of death, he quickened his pace, urging himself through the narrow alleyway, and quickly walked up the rusty stairs, he saw someone standing upstairs facing the setting sun, At dusk, the cool wind blew the broken hair by the man's ears.

"Wanshan!" A familiar voice.

He Wanshan had never imagined this reunion across life and death, but when that familiar person looked at him, all the light and scenery around him collapsed silently into darkness.

He saw that in that narrow time tunnel, the barriers made of ice and snow were completely melted. Now he is no longer the youthful appearance he was at the beginning, but the person he has missed for many years is still the unruly young man back then.

"Wan Shan, why are you coming back now?" The young man walked up to him, with a mixed expression of anxiety and shyness, "I've been waiting for you for a long time, Wan Shan."

But He Wanshan, who witnessed all this, was choked up and unable to say a word.

He knew that everything in front of him was just a fantasy before he died, so he chose to reject the lingering flame ten years ago.

Ten years later, their love has been buried in the ground, and all the past has been burned to ashes in the flames called death.

But now the dream brought him back to ten years ago, the lingering flames were still guarding the door of his house for five hours just to wait for his answer.

"Wan Shan, I've been waiting for you for so long, so you should agree to me." The boy was unusually shy, and the hand at his side was restlessly grabbing the corner of his clothes, "Of course, it's okay if you don't agree, we Can continue to be friends, I... I will always wait for you!"

"Yeah." He replied very lightly.

He Wanshan raised his head to look at the straightforward and eager love in the boy's eyes, and answered with a choked voice.

"I promise you."

Yu Ran, I promise you.

"Really?!" The expression on the young man's face instantly brightened, and there was some emotion in those eyes that he had never seen before.

In the next second, the lingering kiss fell on his lips, which was the affection and enthusiasm they had never had before.There was tenderness and grandeur in those eyes looking at him.

"Wan Shan, come with me." Yu Ran stretched out his hand to him, "Let's not separate again in the future, I will guard you for the rest of my life, okay?"

He Wanshan suppressed the dull pain that was tearing in his heart, and stretched out his hand tremblingly to clasp the fingers of the other party.

The person in front of him looked at him with the same eyebrows and eyes, and smiled softly.The memory that he had deliberately forgotten for ten years turned into a cup of hot spirits and poured over his heart. The momentary pain caused him to burst into tears.

"it is good."

"Yu Ran, take me away."

The author says:

haven't seen you for a long time.

Note: "May there be years to look back, and grow old together with affection" is from "Extreme Addiction (Rebirth)" under the chapter catalog of Huang Xinran's "Hehua and Moon-Long Boys". If you are interested in the abuse of scum crematoriums, you can bookmark it ——

Gentle and Affectionate Gong X Dare to Love and Dare to Hate Subject to age difference of seven years;

In order to repay the kindness of saving his life when he was young, Shu Ran, whose parents both died, became the servant of the young master of the Lu family.

He gave this person all his patience and tolerance. He thought he was loving and repaying his kindness, so he begged for compromise and gave in again and again, but in the end all the deep affection got in return were only contemptuous insults and ignorance.

So he was disheartened and didn't want to suffer any more, day and night he thought about repaying everything before leaving, because when he was dying in the hospital bed because of a car accident, he found out that someone else had saved him.

After a dream, he was reborn and returned. He woke up in the cubicle of the school toilet with blood dripping from his forehead.

He shook his hands and dialed the number that he had never dialed in his previous life. The voice of the person on the other side called him softly, and the comfort made him burst into tears.

"Mr. Su, you asked me if I wanted to go with you." He choked with tears, "Do you still want me now?"

"If you want me, I will be with you all my life. If you don't want me, I will leave here and go back to the south."

-

In the third month after leaving the Lu family, Lu Yanzhi came to the door and begged him to go back.

At that time, Su Lingshuo had devoured most of the Lu family's property, and his methods were unprecedented. Anyone with a discerning eye could tell that he was determined to make the Lu family sink into the mud and not turn over.

Everyone in the circle is rumoring that the reason why Su Lingshuo was asked to do it himself is that the young master of the Lu family hurt his sweetheart and became angry with the crown, so now he is so merciless and wants to kill them all.

It was raining outside the window on the day Lu Yan went to the door, Shu Ran walked through the courtyard with an umbrella, and finally stopped in front of the man who was kneeling and begging for his forgiveness.

"You said you like me?" He bent down and smiled presumptuously, "But I don't like you."

"Lu Yanzhi, the only thing I treat you well is that I thought you were the one who saved me in that car accident eight years ago. I've had enough of your humiliation and trampling, now you say you love me, please forgive me, you won't Feel sick?"