Wild Journey

The imperial garrison was the first lost land to be regained, and the surrounding area was full of traces left by the war, but it was safe. Feng Yao drove around the apartment, but he didn't see Gu Xiao's figure, and he didn't give up looking for it in the distance.

When passing by a ruin, Feng Yao stopped the car.

The morning light was twilight, the smoke and dust hadn't cleared, and there was a hazy mist as far as the eye could see. Mu Han looked around and asked doubtfully, "There's no one here, what are you doing parking?"

Feng Yao pushed open the car door and walked straight to the pile of bones beside the road.

Mu Han didn't expect Feng Yao to do this kind of operation at all, he hurriedly got out of the car, and saw Feng Yao squatting beside the pile of bones, searching carefully.The cloth was interspersed with bones and rotten meat and became tattered. Feng Yao pulled them out one by one, spread them out on the flat ground, and carefully identified them. Unfortunately, these clothes were the military uniforms of snake men, and the bones should also come from being attacked by poison. Snake people who died of reagent corrosion.

After reading it, Feng Yao returned to the car silently and continued to search.

They searched for a long time in the safe area, no matter how inconspicuous the place was, Feng Yao would not let it go, besides, whenever he encountered a pile of bones, he would get out of the car to check, but even though he had been so careful , but in the end, nothing was found, not even a clue.

At night, they came to the border of the war zone.

Mu Han: "It's too dangerous ahead, go back and rest first."

Feng Yao put down the dog tag he picked up from the corpse, and got up. He didn't have any expression on his face, but his eyes were shining against the moonlight, as if there were water glints. After a moment of silence, he said suddenly: "Do you know something?"

Mu Han asked back, "Know what?"

Feng Yao: "It's about Gu Xiao."

Mu Han said sincerely, "I really don't know."

Feng Yao stared at Mu Han without saying a word, as if he wanted to find a flaw in his expression, but Mu Han didn't change his face, but Si Yuan looked at Feng Yao's bloodshot face because he hadn't rested for too long. The whites of the eyes, and the distressed paranoid eyes, did not hold back the sadness, and suddenly turned away.

Feng Yao caught Si Yuan's movements, and his reaction was terrified. He grabbed Si Yuan and said, "What's going on, you know, right?"

Si Yuan was staggered by Feng Yao, wondering: "I..."

Feng Yao: "You all know that you are all lying to me..."

Feng Yao is not stupid, the situation has developed like this, it seems meaningless to conceal it, Mu Han stood in the middle calmly, guarding Si Yuan behind him, and could only choose to confess: "Feng Yao, you have to learn to accept—"

This sentence became the last straw that broke the camel's back. Feng Yao's long-suppressed emotions suddenly broke out at this moment. With red eyes, he shouted: "Do you know what acceptance is?! Why do you say it so easily?" ?!"

Si Yuan persuaded: "Yaoyao, calm down..."

But Mu Han made a gesture, signaling Si Yuan to leave it alone and let Feng Yao vent.

"He can survive, he can't possibly die, why don't you stop him?!" Feng Yao grabbed Mu Han's collar and asked hoarsely, with trembling voice, "He has survived so many times, I If I can save him, I...I have already made up my mind to take him back to the research institute, how can you let him go..."

Mu Han didn't say anything, he let Feng Yao vent his anger, and asked after a long time: "Can you know himself better than him?"

Feng Yao closed his eyes in pain, trembling uncontrollably.

After a while of silence, Feng Yao slowed down from the extreme impulse, but was abruptly quiet. Mu Han patted him on the shoulder comfortingly, and was about to say something, but Feng Yao pushed him away and turned to go. Go in the direction of the car.

Mu Han asked: "What are you going to do?"

Feng Yao didn't turn his head back: "Look for someone."

Mu Han and Si Yuan got into the car, the car hummed and started, Feng Yao turned the steering wheel, as if he was about to rush out of the safety zone.The battle zone is full of flames of war, they are weak and have no guns, rushing in hastily is tantamount to seeking death, Si Yuan hurriedly said: "Yaoyao, it's too dangerous over there!"

"I didn't ask you to follow." Feng Yao stepped on the brakes and said coldly, "This is my business alone. Get out of the car and I will go by myself."

Mu Han and Si Yuan didn't move, Mu Han said: "Can we go tomorrow? We will accompany you tomorrow, you need to—"

Feng Yao didn't hear Mu Han finish, so he got out of the car by himself.

Mu Han clicked his tongue, and quickly chased after him: "Feng Yao!"

Feng Yao ignored him and walked towards the vehicles on the side of the road. Mu Han couldn't watch him die, so in desperation, he gave Feng Yao a slap on the back of the neck.

Feng Yao was caught off guard and passed out.

When Feng Yao woke up again, it was already noon the next day, and he was placed on the bed that Gu Xiao had been lying on, with the black shirt that Gu Xiao left by his hand.

Feng Yao sat up rubbing the sore back of his neck and went to the living room.

When Mu Han and Si Yuan heard the movement, they looked over in unison, and the atmosphere froze for a moment.Si Yuan was worried that Feng Yao would continue the agitation before he fainted, but to his surprise, Feng Yao was very calm, he ignored their worried and concerned eyes, just packed up silently, and then walked towards the door.

Mu Han had expected it a long time ago, he put on his coat, and followed with Si Yuan.

Feng Yao didn't object to their following, and the journey was uneventful. When he got into the car, Mu Han sat in the passenger seat and said, "Let's look around first."

Feng Yao nodded and agreed.

They walked through yesterday's route repeatedly. Feng Yao took the trouble to look at every building and every corner, but in the end they still got nothing.

The temperature dropped sharply at night, and before you knew it, it was already the winter solstice. The night wind seeped into the car through the cracks in the open windows. Si Yuan was shivering from the cold. Mu Han threw his coat to him and wiped off the mist on the glass. Looking out the window.

A round of cold moon hangs in the middle of the night, its light is dim, and everything sinks into a pitch blackness where you can't see your fingers. Only the occasional firelight that soars into the sky illuminates the blurred outline of the sky and dyes the clouds into an apocalyptic scarlet.

This is the border of the battle zone, and the flames of war are raging in the distance. The obstacle guardrail in front of it was pushed and swayed, Feng Yao had to stop the car, Mu Han glanced at the car navigation, and asked him: "Are you going to the battle zone?"

Feng Yao hummed, narrowed his eyes slightly, and looked for his way in the night.

Mu Han still didn't want Feng Yao to go: "Can't we come and look for it during the day? What can you see in the dark? Besides, this place is so far from the apartment, do you think... Gu Xiao can walk so far?"

Feng Yao: "He can drive."

Mu Han: "Do you think he is you, and he can pry a car?"

Feng Yao: "Some cars don't need to be pried."

Mu Han sighed, he raised his eyes to look at the city where the gunfire was raging, and asked after speaking: "Have you ever thought about why Gu Xiao left?"

Feng Yao held the steering wheel, lowered his head, and did not speak.

Mu Han: "Then why can't you respect his wishes?"

No one made a sound, and the carriage fell into a brief silence. After a while, only Feng Yao took a deep breath, and his voice was thickly nasal: "The reason why he left was because... because he didn't want to let him go." I saw him sick, he was always like this... his life was dying, and he was always thinking of me..."

The more Feng Yao said, the more out of tune his tone became, until finally, he couldn't hold on any longer, and collapsed on the steering wheel and burst into tears.

Si Yuan's eyes were also red: "Yaoyao..."

Mu Han shook his head, telling Si Yuan not to empathize with Feng Yao, and not to comfort him too much. After all, no matter what others say or do at this time, it is useless, and he can only wait for Feng Yao to adjust himself.

However, later Mu Han discovered that the situation was far more serious than he had imagined. Feng Yao not only failed to adjust, but worsened. He searched around the Y area day and night, as if he had lost the physiological function of sleep, completely unaware of it. Tired, even when I get back to the apartment sometimes, I don't sleep.

Si Yuan found it incredible, and discussed with Mu Han in private: "How long has it been since Yaoyao slept?"

Mu Han: "If you don't talk about it, it will take a few days."

Si Yuan counted with his fingers, and said in surprise: "How can a person stay awake for so long, isn't he about to die?"

"You can't say that he doesn't sleep." Mu Han said, "If he didn't sleep, why did he drive a car and crash into a power pole last time?"

Normal people can't resist sleepiness. Even if Feng Yao doesn't sleep, he can't hold it up physically. When he gets sleepy, he will lose his mind and bump into obstacles a few times. Fortunately, the base car is strong and nothing happened. .

Si Yuan: "We can't go on like this forever, we have to think of an idea..."

Mu Han was very tired: "He just doesn't sleep, what do you think can be done?"

Si Yuan: "Why don't you shoot him again?"

"No, it's over once. It's not appropriate to shoot all the time." Mu Han waved his hand, "You might as well give him some tranquillity."

Si Yuan: "..." It doesn't seem appropriate, does it?

Neither wanting non-violent non-cooperation nor finding a better way, the two of them were at a loss, so Mu Han could only say: "Forget it, don't worry about it, I've never heard of a living being trapped to death... just let it be Bar."

Another day of no success and they returned to the apartment.

When Mu Han went to buy breakfast, Si Yuan was so tired that he nestled on the sofa and took a nap. When he was in a daze, he vaguely heard a voice.

Si Yuan woke up with a start, and reflexively looked at the door.

The recent encounters made Si Yuan panic. He was afraid that Feng Yao would take advantage of their unpreparedness to do dangerous things, but the door was locked tightly, and there was no sign of it being opened at all. He looked around again, and everything was the same as before he fell asleep. .

At this moment, the voice sounded again, and the source of the sound was the bedroom.

Si Yuan frowned suspiciously, and took a closer look. The bedroom was drawn with thick curtains, the light was dim, and the spots of light seeping through the gaps in the curtains were indistinct. Feng Yao was sitting on the bed with his knees hugged in the hazy darkness. He stared at the door with a dazed and helpless expression, as if he was talking to himself.

The volume was too low and the wording was too soft, Si Yuan only heard a few words, vaguely "why" and "don't go", he froze for a moment: "Yaoyao?"

Feng Yao stood up suddenly, stepped aside Si Yuan, and left the living room.

The moment they passed each other, Si Yuan clearly saw the long-lost expression flashing through Feng Yao's eyes. He hurriedly followed, and when he went out of the room, he saw Feng Yao standing in the empty corridor, stunned. Froze, looking at the stairs.

silent.

The charm in Feng Yao's eyes slowly faded away.

Si Yuan asked tentatively: "Yaoyao, what did you see just now?"

This time Feng Yao didn't treat Si Yuan as nothing like before, he didn't seem to be joking at all, and replied without a tone: "Gu Xiao."

Si Yuan's expression froze, he looked at the elevator, then at Feng Yao.

Feng Yao turned around slowly and returned to the room, looking lonely.

"Dissociative conversion disorder?"

After listening to Si Yuan's description, Mu Han was stunned, "What kind of disease is this? Please explain in a simple way, let alone terminology, I don't understand."

Si Yuan: "Oh, it's hysteria."

Mu Han: "..."

Si Yuan: "It's getting more and more serious, it really won't work if it goes on like this..."

Mu Han: "You don't think it's possible, so you can think of a way?"

Si Yuan: "Do you still remember what Gu Xiao said before he left? He asked us to take Feng Yao to find Yishen, why don't we try?"

Mu Han expressionless: "Good idea, do you know where Yishen lives?"

Si Yuan: "..." He really doesn't know this, and most people don't know, otherwise Yishen would be hunted down and sent with blades every day.

Mu Han thought of an idea: "By the way, don't you have a psychiatrist friend in the research institute, can you call him over to have a look?"

"You think so simply, why should I shout, District Y is so far away from the capital, and it's dangerous, so people don't come here. If you want to see a doctor, you can only take Feng Yao back, but Feng Yao doesn't want to go back." Si Yuan was worried. No, "I can only let him watch remotely. After two days the signal recovers, I'll ask him."

After half a month passed, Area Y was recovered.

The Empire took over the Snake People, sentenced the former administrators and the Snake People who participated in the war to death, and reshuffled the top management of District Y, completely bringing the entire district and city under control, and at the same time cleaning up the battlefield and rebuilding the ruins.After the war ended, a large number of people poured in, and there were more faces of all kinds. The originally lifeless District Y began to be lively and lively.

Most of these days, Feng Yao spent in the car. He searched in the Y area countless times, day after day, day and night, but he never heard from Gu Xiao. He would go back to the apartment and stay in that room, hugging Gu Xiao's shirt, staring at the door in a daze all day and all night, he didn't speak often, and even rarely made any movement, he looked very dull, So much so that Si Yuan often couldn't tell whether he was awake or asleep.

Si Yuan was very worried: "Will he die suddenly if he keeps doing this?"

In Feng Yao's distraught state, Mu Han couldn't let him go alone, so when he went out, Mu Han followed him all the time. For nearly a month, he was exhausted physically and mentally, and Mu Han couldn't help but give up on himself. He said with emotion: "He looks like this, he might as well have lost his memory."

Si Yuan: "Don't say that..."

Mu Han: "Isn't it better than seeing people as useless?"

Si Yuan looked sad and ignored Mu Han's meaningless speech.

Mu Han asked again: "How long do you think it will take for him to come out?"

"I don't know." Si Yuan was powerless, "I just know one thing, he still remembers Gu Xiao when he lost his memory before, do you think he can still come out?"

Mu Han sighed, "Did you ask that psychiatrist last time?"

Si Yuan: "I asked, this situation is hysteria, because of the major blow of Gu Xiao's departure, there is still too long a lack of communication and self-isolation... So let's chat with him more, maybe he will come out slowly."

Mu Han: "But the key is, do you think he's talking to us?"

Si Yuan was also devastated: "Then what should we do? To a large extent, the cure of mental illness depends on the patients themselves, and it is useless for us to be anxious."

"Okay." Mu Han said helplessly, "Then you go and persuade him to eat something. I didn't eat yesterday, and I can't sleep anymore. You can't be hungry."

Si Yuan was going to the bedroom with the food box, when the door rang.

Apart from them, no one has been to this apartment for a long time. At this moment, Si Yuan had an unrealistic fantasy. He thought it was Gu Xiao, and he opened the door like a gust of wind, but the person outside was actually a man. face.

The man said politely: "Hello, sir."

The greeting came suddenly, Si Yuan was a little confused: "Ah, hello."

The man said: "That's right, I'm the current owner of this apartment, and I'm here this time to discuss with you about living in the house..."

Si Yuan: "..."

Si Yuan waved to Mu Han, motioning for him to come over.

Si Yuan asked: "People are going to be kicked out here, what should I do?"

Everything is about to return to normal, and this apartment is no longer a deserted place, so Mu Han could only say: "Understood, I'll go and ask if I can rent it."

After bidding farewell to Mu Han, Si Yuan walked into the bedroom.

It was midnight when I came back yesterday. Although Feng Yao didn't sleep, Si Yuan always wanted him to rest, so he closed the curtains for him and didn't turn on the lights. It was already noon the next day, and the room was still the same as when Si Yuan left. The appearance is not only the furnishings, but even Feng Yao has not been touched.

The light from the living room reflected into the bedroom from the half-open door, becoming the only light source. Si Yuan stood at the door, looking at Feng Yao through the stingy light.

Feng Yao's face is haggard and ashen, and he is almost out of shape. He seems to be experiencing a serious illness, which is fierce and incurable. It is devouring his spirit and sapping his will day by day. Si Yuan now thinks of the past. Feng Yao actually gave birth to a feeling as if he had passed away, as well as an infinite sense of dislocation.

Si Yuan was a little sad. He stood at the door looking at Feng Yao for a long time, and finally walked to the bedside, touched Feng Yao's head, and sat with Feng Yao.

After a while of silence, Si Yuan said, "Yaoyao, let's eat."

Feng Yao didn't respond, and turned a deaf ear to Si Yuan's question.

Si Yuan persevered and said, "Can we chat?"

This is not the first time Si Yuan has said something like this, nor is it the first time he has been ignored. In fact, he didn't expect Feng Yao to respond at all. He just hoped that Feng Yao would listen to him. It was better than no communication, so he said to himself: "I think Gu Xiao definitely doesn't want you to be like this."

"Before he left, he told us to take good care of you." Si Yuan recalled, "He didn't want you to do unworthy things for him at all. He hoped that you could go out and that you would be well. If you want, you can stop loving others, but you mustn't...get over it, because in his view, your life is more important than your love..."

Feng Yao suddenly said: "What else did he say?"

After finally getting Feng Yao to open his mouth, Si Yuan didn't hide anymore. He recounted the scene at that time. It turned out that Gu Xiao did find Mu Han and Si Yuan that night, and he asked Si Yuan for it. Acupuncture the medicine that can temporarily stimulate the nerves, and entrust Feng Yao to them, and left the apartment.

Feng Yao listened, and asked in a daze: "You just let him go?"

"At that time he was..." Si Yuan said, "It's almost gone, I can hardly recognize him, he looks like a zombie, he is afraid that you will wake up and see a pile of bones, afraid that you will not be able to bear it , that's why he left... He insisted on leaving, Mu Han and I have no reason to keep him, sorry..."

Feng Yao stopped talking again.

"I know this is very painful for you, but you can't always live in the past, life still has to go on, you just treat it for Gu Xiao..." Si Yuan tried his best to persuade, "Live well for him..."

Feng Yao said firmly: "He is not dead."

Si Yuan frowned, Feng Yao murmured: "He promised me that he would come back, he said many times... let me wait for him..."

Si Yuan: "When did you say that?"

Feng Yao shook his head, his eyes were a bit dazed.

Si Yuan: "That's not Gu Xiao, that's an illusion, you're lying to yourself, Yaoyao, your spirit is a little abnormal now."

Feng Yao said seriously: "It's not a hallucination, it's not."

Si Yuan really wanted to tell Feng Yao that Gu Xiao had died a long time ago, in the early morning of a month ago, but he felt that this would be too cruel for Feng Yao. After much deliberation, he still couldn't say Exit, also did not say anything.

Si Yuan got up, went to the window and opened the curtains.

A piece of silver is covered in plain sight, and the fresh snow is pouring, passing by the withered scenery in front of the window, and it has already entered the severe cold and deep winter before you know it.