Autobiography of a paranoid patient

(89)

The view from a high place should be wider, and this balcony can just see the backyard of the nursing home.

I used to think I picked the most hidden location.

I also spent a lot of time in a nursing home as a patient.

At that time my dad had been buried in the ground and my mom was locked up in a nursing home.

Because no one takes care of me, I also live here temporarily.

In the beginning I was able to spend a lot of time with my mom a week, and then I watched her go crazy.

Every time my mother hurts me, I will sneak into the backyard by myself.

If I walk around aimlessly, I will be taken away by the medical staff soon, and I can only find a place to hide secretly.

So I started to stay in that corner for a long time.

Behind me is the wall of the hospital. I lean against the wall and can always hear a lot of voices.

Sometimes the staff were walking back and forth, and sometimes the patients were ill, howling and struggling like wild animals.

I think if I don't want to be like this, I will always cry.

I can see far, far away from here, the sky, the woods, the cottage...

These quiet things stay with me.

(ninety)

"I went in once, and I saw you, but you were flying a kite in the yard." Feng Yue said.

He squeezed my hand, turned me around, and pulled me into his arms.

I lean on his shoulder.

"I wonder why you cry so sad every time."

"So did you find out later?" I asked.

"I don't know," Feng Yue said honestly, "but now I know."

I hmmed.

"I actually thought you were gone," Feng Yue asked me, "Did you leave later? I haven't seen you for a long time, and then I went abroad with my parents."

"No." I took a breath.

I tilted my head, glanced over his shoulder, and saw the small corner of the yard again.

"I was sick and they saw my wounds on my hands, you know, I like it so much, I didn't care about my wounds, they said I was sick too, they locked me up and wouldn't let me out... I ……I……"

I lowered my head in panic, not looking at Feng Yue.

My hands were on the sides of his clothes, and my fingers tightened but didn't touch him.

"If you don't want to mention it, then don't mention it," Feng Yue hugged me, "I will talk about it when you want to mention it, okay?"

I nodded, and his hand ran down my arm and got stuck in my five fingers.

"Before I left, I went to see it again. I thought this child is too pitiful. Why is he always crying alone in the nursing home? If no one wants me, can I take it away?"

I smiled, blinked, and tears fell.

"That's a pity, I was almost able to leave with you."

"It's not a pity."

I felt Feng Yue bowed his head and kissed my hair.

"It's the same if you take it away now."

(91)

I never felt like a vulnerable person.

If I were a weak person, I probably wouldn't be alive now.

But Feng Yue appeared.

For the first time, I wanted to give up my long-standing self-adherence.

Is it easier to learn to rely on others?

Feng Yue hugged me, and we basked in the warm sun on the balcony for a long time.

Then we went home together.

Feng Yue drove along the way, I felt tired and slept for a while.

When he woke up, the car was parked next to a restaurant, Feng Yue was looking at his phone, and the windows on both sides of the car were opened a little.

"Are you there?" I asked dazedly.

Feng Yue rubbed my hair and kissed my eyelids.

"Let's have a meal first," he said.

We chose a Chinese restaurant, and after ordering, I remembered to ask him: "Why are you over there today?"

Feng Yue said that he really happened to pass by.

The company recently had a project over there, and he happened to go over there to have a look.

I nodded.

It was not too late after dinner, so we went shopping in the nearby shopping malls.

When we walked back, each of us had a cup of lemon tea in our hands. I was almost finished drinking the tea, and the sound of drinking the tea was a little loud. I felt embarrassed, but Feng Yue stopped and took the cup from my hand. Replace it with his.

He has close to half a glass left.

I bit the straw, raised my eyes, and whispered thank you to him.

He rubbed my head again.

I don't know when Feng Yue fell in love with this action.

I always feel like a dog, or a cat being rubbed by him.

It's just... very comfortable, very comfortable.

Walking to the side of the car, I glanced casually, and suddenly saw a man standing beside me.

Feng Yue followed my gaze, with a serious look on his face, he held my wrist and said, "Wait here for a while."

Of course I listened to what he said, and stood where I was, watching him walk by.

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sleepy, sleepy