Wanderer

"Wen Hai is a child... Forget it, he is over 30, let's talk about him. He is the kind of person who looks reliable but can't live a normal life. Remember what I told you, He's too lonely, doesn't care about anything, and will always be floating on his own, unable to settle down." Yan Wan made a gesture, then put her hands on her knees again, her back was straight, her posture was all square, and she was completely invisible. Er Shun's old age, "Of course, neither Zefeng nor I have the right to criticize him. He lived in Tong'an's house for about ten years, and we rarely took him with him in the past few years. He fought. I would rather bear a punishment than call the parents over, go to the police school by myself, go to anti-drugs by myself, go undercover by myself, and then fall in love with someone of the same sex... You see, he has done so many outrageous things, but he hardly let us give He cleans up the mess, as if he doesn't need his parents at all, he has his own ideas, and he can come by himself. But we, obviously have not fulfilled the obligations of parents, but are unwilling to give up the rights of parents, every time we see him not going' Zhengdao' go, and I will force him back again."

Speaking of this, Yan Wan smiled: "Actually, Wen Hai's grandfather was planning to transfer Wen Hai directly to a clerical position, stamping documents every day and so on. Ze Feng also nodded, but I stopped him. I Tell them, you really dare to transfer Xiao Hai there, according to his temper at that time, whoever can see him again in your life will be considered as a great person... By the way, do you know why Xiao Hai became a policeman?"

Bai Yunqi showed hesitation, obviously not sure about his answer: "...Is it because of Uncle Wen?"

Yan Wan shook her head: "No, it's because of Qi Jian."

"Qi Jian?"

"This is also the guess of us adults, because Xiaohai is very reluctant to talk about this person, and he doesn't want us to mention it." Yan Wan said, "Qi Jian was me, Zefeng and Qi Jun at that time...it was Xiaohai. Qi Jian’s godfather, Qi Jian’s eldest brother in the younger generation of our two families, he looks very fierce and has a bad temper, but he is also very kind and willing to help us with anything.

"Zefeng and I were too young at the time, and we were not ready to be parents at all, or from the perspective of our two personalities, we were not suitable to raise a child at all. Xiaohai was raised in his grandmother's house first, We were sent back to our home when we were four or five years old. Zefeng and I were both busy with our own careers. At most, we could only ensure that he was not hungry, and we had no time to take care of the rest. I was too busy at the time, and Zefeng occasionally took Xiaohai at home alone. They don't get along at all, Xiaohai has a stubborn temper and doesn't know how to give in, Zefeng doesn't know how to show mercy, so the young child will beat him to death..."

Upon hearing this, Bai Yunqi's face turned completely cold, and he pursed his lips, trying not to speak.

"Qi Jian said many times that our children can't be locked in the house alone like this every day, and he also scolded Zefeng for beating children without reason, but... for various reasons, we are too focused on doing our own things. Forgot to be a parent, so he didn't listen to what he said. Xiaohai was sued by the kindergarten teacher, saying that he spoke very little, so little that Zefeng suspected that the child's brain had a congenital disorder, and wanted to take Xiaohai to the hospital for an examination. Qi Jian listened I was in a hurry, and scolded us, saying that the child is five years old, how could he not be able to talk, who will talk to him when he is alone at home, can you hear him talking to the table..."

Yan Wan stopped suddenly when she said this, coughed lightly, and Bai Yunqi quickly brought her the teacup.

"Thank you...we didn't lock the door after that time. Xiao Hai and Qi Jian started to visit each other, and gradually talked more, but they still basically didn't speak to me and Zefeng, and even avoided us." Yan Wan Holding the teacup tightly, "But just as Xiao Hai looked like a normal child, Qi Jian passed away."

Bai Yunqi said "hmm", not too surprised, remembering the Qingming Festival in the year when he returned to high school, when Wen Hai said that he would go to the martyrs' cemetery to pay homage, most likely he was talking about Qi Jian.

"Brother Qi left in his early thirties. He had an acute myocardial infarction. He suffered from an illness during the night shift. It was too late when he was discovered. He worked in the Drug Enforcement Administration. When Xiao Hai first joined the job... the place where Qi Jian worked was the same as before. Office." Yan Wan lowered her eyes, "After Qi Jian left, Xiao Hai was not emotionally stable at first, but he became more like a normal child... But now that I think about it, this may be the most abnormal reaction, what a pity Zefeng and I didn't take it seriously, we were still busy with our business, and Xiao Hai was sent to Tong'an's house by us. One year when he came back from vacation, he wanted to beat Zefeng again without saying a word, and I tried to persuade him to fight. After trying to persuade, I suddenly felt that there was no relationship between us and this child. He was like a strange child who came to live with someone else. This made me very scared, because I once loved him..."

"Oxytocin." Bai Yunqi replied in a low voice, raised his head to meet Yan Wan's slightly painful eyes, and said lightly, "I'm sorry."

Yan Wan closed her eyes, and all her emotions were hidden behind her slightly trembling voice: "I told you before, we voluntarily missed a part of Xiao Hai's life, so we were forced to miss more, it's not right, it's all ours Wrong, we are too arrogant. Zefeng and I are considered successful in our own careers. We don’t want to admit that we did something wrong. We imposed our resentment and fear on an innocent child, making Xiao Haicheng a victim..."

"He's not a victim!" Bai Yunqi finally interrupted her, "You may feel that you owe him something, but as you said, you are yourself first, and then his mother. All the same, you can't see him as your failure and victim, he's not a piece of clothing that you make a mistake and leave it there to regret...he is himself first and your son second... with my love."

Yan Wan stared at him blankly, until the teacup in front of her spit out the last mouthful of water vapor, she raised her hand to wipe the corner of her eyes, then returned to her original dignified and gentle appearance, and nodded slightly: "Yes, you are right , I was too selfish. Where I said 'I'm sorry', the hurt person must say 'It's okay', I always thought that I finally started to think about Xiao Hai, but in fact he was still accommodating me."

Bai Yunqi said for Wen Hai: "No, Brother Wen... Actually, I am not blaming you anymore."

Yan Wan's watery eyes lit up for a moment.

"He's just scared."

"You're just afraid." Wen Zefeng moved a white stone between his fingers and clicked on the chessboard, "You can block me to death if you play here, but you are afraid that I will have a back hand and dare not move. went in."

Speaking of which, he seemingly casually threw the white pieces on the board, and the black pieces on the chessboard were completely helpless. Wen Zefeng commented "subtly": "Stinky chess basket."

Wen Hai, who hadn't touched a chess piece for more than ten years, squeezed the black piece tightly in his hand, and said shamelessly: "Then you make me regret one step..." He stretched out his hand on the chessboard, and glanced at Wen Zefeng who remained motionless. With a smile on his face, he dropped the pawn in his hand, "Okay, you are amazing, I admit defeat."

"Regret." Wen Zefeng said, "What is there to be afraid of?"

"I'm afraid that if I win, you won't be able to bear the face of being a father." Wen Hai leaned back on the soft chair indifferently, "Xiao Qi came here today prepared to die, if you get angry, he probably He took a knife and committed suicide in front of you."

Wen Zefeng was amused by his statement, and frowned helplessly: "I still don't believe Xiaowan said that you have become poor, who did you learn from?"

"Ancestral talent."

"..."

The father and son haven't seen each other for a long time, and the last time they met was at the funeral of Mr. Wen—yes, that "Old Stubborn Wen" who influenced Wen Zefeng's life for most of his life and influenced Wen Hai's life trajectory for seven or eight years, this year During the Spring Festival, the first plate of dumplings at Wenjia’s New Year’s Eve dinner fell to the ground and went away.

Wen’s old house’s Spring Festival couplets were replaced with elegiac couplets before the wind and snow got on them, the red lanterns were hurriedly torn down, plain wreaths were placed in a row around the courtyard wall, and the people on the opposite side were still setting off firecrackers. The suona has already been blown, but fortunately the neighbors are sensible, and if they meet someone with a bad temper, they will probably come to stir up trouble.

Coming out of the mourning hall, the younger generation discussed going to the movies and singing KTV, and the women of the older generation had already made up a few tables of mahjong, and the men were smoking cigarettes and chattering, life and death are a threshold, but you If you don't step in, it will be a story that you think you can empathize with, but you can only stay out of it forever.

Wen Hai is the youngest grandson. According to the local customs, the youngest grandson is the most loved by his family, so he should spend more time with the old man and say a few thoughtful words to make him leave with peace of mind. Only Wen Hai and a funeral director are left in the huge memorial service hall. The staff, Wen Hai stood in front of the urn for the prescribed 5 minutes, turned around and left without waiting for the staff to remind.

The weather was fine that day, the wind was sunny, and it was originally forecast to snow, but there were a few scattered drops, and it cleared up just in time for the memorial service to begin. I heard that the old man likes fishing, so this should be his happy time.

Wen Zefeng was waiting outside the door. Under the dazzling sunlight, Wen Hai and him were facing each other. Behind him was Wen Changli's mourning hall. Three similar but completely different faces each had their own expressions. What kind of shackles were released.

It's hard to tell who's fault it is for father and son to do this.

"Do you really hate me?" Wen Zefeng asked him at that time, "You regard me as an enemy?"

Wen Hai said, "You are my father."

"Ok?"

In fact, it is not only resentment, is it?Wen Zefeng occasionally took him by the hand like an ordinary father and took him to climb mountains and fish; found that Wen Hai liked to look at gun models, so he taught him how to dismantle guns and grab them; Qi Jian said that he would let this kid be a policeman in the future , Wen Zefeng touched his head and said how hard it was, Xiaohai loves reading so much, he must be a university student in the future; after he was blown into the ICU by a soil bomb/bomb, he couldn't hear anything, only heard Wen Zefeng like a Roaring wildly like a lion, how dare you fucking send my son there to die, he is my son, he is not yet 25.

And that police uniform, the first time he came home in uniform, Wen Zefeng stared at him for a while, walked over to hug him, his mother almost cried, this is probably the two of them since Wen Hai can remember. My first hug, and the last.

"You are my father, and I am your son. We will be like this in this life." Wen Hai closed his eyes, "But in the next life, we should not know each other."

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Thank you all.