Diary of my first love

Next to the broken bridge are rows of weeping willows. Most of the two people who see each other on the bridge will meet here.

Zhang Yu waited here for a while. In fact, he felt a little regretful in his heart. He was not ready for a lover, and he hadn't completely forgotten someone. He couldn't go out, he thought that when that person came over later, he must explain the situation to him immediately and apologize.

From the other side of the Xiaoxi Lake, it took about ten minutes to ride a bicycle. Zhang Yu, who was bored waiting, saw the small rocks on the shore, and his heart moved.

Pick out those thin stone flakes, hold them between your thumb and forefinger, and throw them out in a circle. The stone flakes are like dragonflies skimming over the water, with their tails sweeping in circles of ripples.

It's been a long time since I played this game. At first Zhang Yu was unskilled, and he couldn't hit a few floats. Later, his hand gradually improved, and it was no problem to hit seven, eight, or ninety floats.

Zhang Yu was having fun, seeing that his water floats were about to exceed the mark of ten. Suddenly, a stone flake came up from behind, jumping lightly on the water surface, and several floats were shot out in a row, flying to the vicinity of Zhang Yu's stone flake. With a bang, the two stone flakes sank to the bottom of the water.

Zhang Yu stomped his feet and turned his head back. He wanted to see who interrupted his ten-year plan.

Well, although I don’t know him very well, this person is the one on the broken bridge. He arrived so soon. Zhang Yu looked at his phone. It’s only been 10 minutes. This speed does not drive the bicycle out of the speed of the motorcycle. It is impossible to think about it so fast.

Look at that man again, with long hands and long legs, even wearing a simple T-shirt and shorts, he still has an unconcealable demeanor. He wears only half of the silver mask, and the exposed half of his face is beautiful, adding a sense of mystery and evil. different temperament.

Zhang Yu only took a few glances at this man, and didn't take another look at him just because he was handsome. Instead, he asked, "You've been swimming very hard." It wasn't a question, but an affirmative tone.

The masked man nodded.

"Then let's compete and see who can float farther and hit more."

Without waiting for the masked man to agree, Zhang Yu gave him half of the stone shards he had picked out, stood aside, set his posture, and waited for the masked man to end.

The masked man laughed, looking at the stone flake with a sense of nostalgia, and stood beside Zhang Yu like Zhang Yu.

Zhang Yu is holding the stone flake with his thumb and index finger, but the masked man is different, he is holding the stone flake with his index finger and middle finger.

Zhang Yu flung out the flake of stone, which hit the water nine times and floated far away.

"I have a friend who has the exact same swimming posture as you."

The masked man flew out of the stone flakes and also jumped nine times on the water surface, but not as far away as Zhang Yu.

"Is he a good friend of yours?"

Zhang Yu was taken aback when he heard the masked man's question, and then threw out the stone flake, but this time the result was obviously worse than last time, with only seven failures.

Zhang Yu's voice didn't fluctuate at all, it was flat, without any emotion, as if he was telling someone else's story, not his own.

"That's right, a very good friend in childhood. He taught me to play Shui Piao, but after my family moved away, I gradually lost contact with him. Maybe even if I meet him now, I won't recognize him."

The greatest sorrow in the world is probably: I love you obviously, but I don't recognize you when you stand in front of me.

The masked man didn't know how to take the words for a while, the air became a little frozen, and he pointed out that the stone flakes were thrown out, and then sank to the bottom of the dark, uninhabited lake.

Zhang Yu didn't expect to have an answer, and he just swam in the water. The stone flakes blended into his emotions, and he swung more and more forcefully. A beautiful flower is coming.

The masked man followed suit, but he didn't play as well as before, just for fun, he fought along the place where Zhang Yu's stone flakes flew, and made a supporting grass on the blooming lace.

Zhang Yu's stone flakes were gone, and his arms were sore, so he stopped.The masked man who had been paying attention to him also stopped, and secretly put his hands behind his back, and the few remaining stone pieces were secretly dropped on the ground.

He took a step forward, leaned closer to Zhang Yu, clenched his hands, and mustered up the courage to speak.

"I don't know who said 'people should look forward'. If I had to choose, I would be more willing to look backward. Your friend who has been thinking about you may also be like you, thinking about you all the time. Two people If you miss them so much, God will not let them down." Looking at Zhang Yu, the masked man said seriously.

Zhang Yu could feel his sincerity, but he didn't know if he was just comforting himself, or if he felt something in his heart and expressed it, or maybe both.

The lake wind blew the willow branches on the shore, and the willows gently rolled up their watery sleeves, and their slender waists danced.

The lake wind gently tossed Zhang Yu's thick bangs, his hair flew in the air, revealing the boy's gentle water-like eyes, which were beautiful even the big painted face mask couldn't hide, with a slight smile on them, Makes the air cheer up.

The young man's gentle words came in the wind, clear and expectant.

"Maybe there will be a day."

Maybe it's because the lake water and the willow tree are too gentle, maybe it's because the masked man's words broke into a corner of his heart, maybe it's because the heavy thoughts have reached the point where he has to pour out, in short, Zhang Yu talked about him story, in front of a stranger.

Sometimes, we are unable to confide our hearts to the people closest to us. Their familiarity and love for us have become threads connected to us. If there are too many threads, they will form a net and bind us.We are afraid of the reaction after we confide our hearts to them, afraid of their frowning, a small movement of pursing their lips, they are too important to us, so that if they do not understand or support, it will be a big deal to us. The sky is falling.

All the fears and restraints stem from love, not because they are not close enough, it is because they are too close that they choose to hide it.

And a stranger, met by chance, maybe I met today, and I will never see him again in the future.He doesn't understand your past, and he probably won't be able to participate in your future. He is just a tree hole you choose at random, and you just need a place to listen.

"I'm gay." Zhang Yu said.

"I……"

"I'm in love with that friend of mine."

"The one who taught you how to swim?"

"Yes, I fell in love with it very early, but I only realized that it was love when I grew up."

"Are you sure you didn't confuse friendship with love? After all, you have been separated for so many years. Memory can be deceiving. He deleted all bad memories, leaving only some honey. That way, the old man When you look back and forth, you won’t have nothing to say.”

"I'm sure it's love. After so many years, I can't even figure it out." Zhang Yu said firmly.

"Well, it's ridiculous that you've lived on that childhood friendship for so many years, and you don't even know what he looks like now, and he doesn't know that you love him, so it's impossible to love You, do you want to spend your whole life relying on the joys of childhood?" I don't know what hit the masked man's thunder point, and he was a little unscrupulous.

After a long while, Zhang Yu didn't answer, he leaned against the tree, the hard shell covering his body was broken, revealing the fragile bright red soft flesh inside, his black eyes were full of deep sorrow that couldn't be resolved, and he was depressed. , like a bird with folded wings.Yes, is he going to ruin his whole life with a love that ended without a disease when he was a child?

If he just loves him, but he doesn't love my story, he can still find a way to chase him.However, now he doesn't know that he is in love with him, and more importantly, he can't find him, there are so many people, how difficult it is to find someone who only knows his name. (Maybe you feel very twisted, so do I)

As soon as the masked man uttered the words, he felt regretful. These words were too harsh, and they could have been said in a softer way.It's just that just now, a ball of anger burst out of my heart, burning all my reason, and I said something hurtful.

Seeing Zhang Yu's fragile and helpless appearance, the masked man felt even more regretful. He restrained his hands and didn't know where to put them. behind a tree.

A muffled voice came from behind the tree, full of apologies.

"Sorry, I was a little too excited just now. I, I, I just don't want you to wait any longer. Waiting for someone is a long life sentence. You are so good, you should have a better love."

Zhang Yu sat on the ground with his head tilted against the tree, a drooping willow comforted him, and gave him its branches and leaves to play with.

Hearing the masked man's words, Zhang Yu laughed, very weakly, with an intermittent voice, but his eyes were cold, with a cold mockery.Is there anyone else who likes a person like him, who is cold and unpleasant.

He still remembers what a former friend in high school said to him: "Zhang Yu, you are just a piece of ice that cannot be covered. No matter how much others love you, you have no reaction to being loved at all."

"People like you don't deserve to be loved at all."

Zhang Yu picked up the bead string that Zeng's friend threw down angrily, and wanted to say something to explain, but suddenly felt that it was unnecessary. He couldn't give him the response he wanted. He felt that he had paid too much, but got only a little in return. , but Zhang Yu was really trying to respond to him. (This is a question from a friend, I will explain it later, Xiaoyu is really nice, but he is not good at expressing emotions)

"Listen to you, you have waited for someone before." Zhang Yu asked.

"En." The masked man's voice suddenly became very soft, like a white feather falling from a bird in the sky, "I'm still waiting, but not so much."

"It's a bit convoluted. I often imagine what it will be like when we meet? We will be gray-haired old men, drinking a cup of hot tea, each telling their own stories; we will be teenagers in their prime, unmarried and unmarried. Married, that is really God's love, everything is just right; maybe not so lucky, when I met him, he already had a happy family, so let's say blessings and leave silently."

"Therefore, there is no need to wait. If fate is destined, we will meet at just the right time." Zhang Yu chuckled and turned his head to the side, as if asking: Is that so.

"Yes, that's it, don't wait, leave it all to God." The masked man agreed.

A long time, a long time, until the sun jumps to the horizon, and night is coming.Zhang Yu's voice came slowly, sad, relieved, and contradictory.

"Then, I will slowly forget him." The memory will be like a beautiful sand painting, the sand is blown up by the wind and blown away, leaving some rough gravel.

The author has something to say:

Be yourself and give everything to God