Yuan Zhen

My name is Yuan Tu.

Twenty years ago, my surname was not Yuan, so I took my mother's surname and called it Lin Tu.

I thought that people have to live at least half a century before they love to recall the past. I am only less than 30 years old, and I have already begun to dig out the memories and chew them over and over again.

The story begins when I was five years old, when my mother's physical condition suddenly became very bad.Although she always smiled and pretended to be calm in front of me, several times, I heard her crying in pain alone in the room, chanting things like "I don't want to live".

I was too young then to help her with anything.

I don't want to leave her, and she must be very reluctant to part with me.

On the day I returned to Yuan's house, I was actually very scared, but I didn't cry or make a fuss from the beginning to the end, I just watched her back without saying a word.

Yuan’s house is too luxurious, I only saw it on TV, I guess, my dad must be very rich, so I knelt down and begged him to let him help her cure, I am very grateful that he agreed at that time, although she still Abandoned me in April when the rape blossoms are luxuriant.

When I was five years old, I lost a loved one and gained another... a loved one.

Yuan Xiao is very cute, I fell in love with him the first time I saw him, I wanted to pinch his round face, I wanted to hug him...but I couldn't, I attribute part of my misfortune in my life to Yuan Xiao and his mother .

I stubbornly and foolishly thought that without them, I would have a perfect family and that Mom wouldn't have to work so hard that she ended up wearing herself down.

"It's all their fault."

So, if I let myself like Yuan Xiao, if I smile at him as I like, then I will be too sorry for her.

This idea made me get into a dead end and couldn't get out.The more I like him, the more uncomfortable I feel, and the worse I treat him.

When Yuan Xiao was young, he would share everything with me, as if everything was taken for granted, even his mother, he was not stingy.

If only he hadn't mentioned his mother at the time, I wouldn't have pushed him, and his palm wouldn't have been cut. Fortunately, there was no scar left on his hand.

I don't know if I have it in my heart.

I should be a well-behaved and sensible elder brother, so I treat Yuan Xiao very well in front of my father and relatives.But I am also my mother's son, so when I am alone, I always look coldly at Yuanxiao.I am like a double-faced person, constantly showing Yuanxiao the extremes of goodwill and malice.Don't say that Yuanxiao will be confused, even I don't know which one is my original intention, good intentions or malice.

Yuan Xiao grew up slowly, and he seldom came to talk to me on his own initiative, most of the time we pretended that the other party didn't exist.

Maybe it’s because my dad felt that I suffered during the five years when I wasn’t with him. He cared more about me than Yuanxiao. This kind of concern was a burden to me, until I found out that Yuanxiao’s concern for me was born. Similar to the emotion of "jealousy", my heart suddenly began to have vitality, which I haven't felt from Yuanxiao for a long time.

So I worked harder to live the way my father liked, smart, sensible, and top-notch, which was in stark contrast to Yuan Xiao who was doing nothing all day during the rebellious period.

My idea is not complicated-to make Yuanxiao jealous of me.

Looking back, that Yuan Tu was ridiculously childish.

Before I figured out what my feelings for Yuan Xiao were, he had already been pushed far away by me.

I also personally sent him to Cheng Duo.

This classmate of mine didn't tell me anything about his sexual orientation, otherwise, I would never have suggested to my dad that Yuan Xiao should be sent to study in his company.What I was thinking at the time was that even if Yuan Xiao didn't want to follow me to the company, he should go to the company I found for him. We couldn't become irrelevant strangers.

When I was in the bar and saw Yuan Xiao's dependence on Cheng Duo for the first time, my actions reacted before my brain, expressing my emotions for me.

I'm not sure if the two of them are really together, but I know that Yuanxiao is farther away from me.

When I was at the gate of Lanting and saw them kissing, I moved my hands again, and I was still expressing my emotions.

Although I never thought of being with Yuan Xiao, I still panicked.

The premise for me to accept not being with him is that he likes girls, and I lost in gender, that's all.

Fighting didn't kill my emotions, my anger was still burning in my head, burning my reason to ashes.

I am too familiar with Lan Ting's property management. I said I lost something and wanted to check the surveillance at the door, but they let me check it without saying a word.

On the grounds that the surveillance video involved my brother's privacy, I copied that video and did not keep a backup.

I did copy the video with the vicious idea of ​​breaking them up, but I regretted it the moment I inserted the USB flash drive into the computer. I was afraid that Yuanxiao would hate me.

But he hated me after all.

I don't know how to describe my life.

In the five years before returning to Yuan's house, my mother tried her best to make me happy.After returning to Yuan's house for more than 20 years, frankly speaking, apart from the hypocrisy of self-embarrassment, it was also a beautiful life.

I have many things that others long for, and I also had a preference for Yuanxiao at the beginning, but I lost it in the end.

I can't help but watch Yuan Xiao and Cheng Duo's sweetness.

Stay away, out of sight, out of sight, frankly speaking, I am even more unwilling.

But I was doomed to be trapped in the shackles woven by blood and family, unable to move my feet.

I am so lucky.

I am so unlucky.