The helplessness of the carousel

23.

When the house was renovated, it was less than a month before the college entrance examination...

If it hadn’t been for Brother Zhuhe’s repeated emphasis that after the house is renovated, it must be left for a period of time to let the harmful gas dissipate, I would definitely drag Brother Zhuhe to move into this home that belongs to us immediately.

The room was decorated according to my liking, however, I added a lot of things that Jin Hyuk likes.On the side near the sea, a platform was repaired and a large glass was installed, so that I can lie on the platform with Brother Zhuhe and enjoy the beautiful sea view.The bedroom is painted light blue. The four corners of the room are equipped with lamps that can cast waves of light in the room. In the middle of the room, a large black and white bed is placed. In this way, lying on the bed is like being in the ocean.

I don't know how to design, but I am reluctant to hand over my home to others. Therefore, many places in the house do not look perfect, but they are warm enough.

The college entrance examination is getting closer and closer, and the school has been closed for us to review, but Jin He seems to have some troubles recently, his brows are often frowned, and his eyes are not as focused as before when he looks at me...

Are you worried about the college entrance examination?

This reason seems a little weak, but the pressure of the college entrance examination is indeed great, and my head seems to be suffering from more and more frequent pains because of the college entrance examination.However, I don't want to put more pressure on Brother Jin, so I just quietly take some painkillers when the pain is unbearable...

Brother Huixing, Brother Minwoo, Brother Dongwan and Sunhao always study together. Although they all ask me to be together, I still want to stay with Brother Jhyeok. Although Brother Jhyuk hasn’t given me English tutoring recently, But every time I see the cheering words written by Jong Hyuk in the exercise book, my whole body is full of motivation.

Finally, it was the day of the college entrance examination. Before entering the examination room, Brother Ji He quietly pressed a kiss on my forehead, allowing me to start this examination that determines the death of countless lives with a sweet smile.It seems that with the protection of Brother Ji He, the first day's answer sheet was very smooth, and I can almost see the happy life in the future that is within reach.Let’s enjoy the happiness that belongs to us in our own home together with Jung Hyuk.I will learn how to cook, although I remember that some people say that when you stand in front of the kitchen counter for the one you love, your life is over.However, Brother Ji He can cook for me himself, why can't I?Moreover, I am so willing to dedicate my whole life to Brother Jin He...

Imagining Jinhyuk hyung eating the food I cooked, I walked forward...

"Jihyuk, although it seems inappropriate to ask you now, I still want to know what's going on between you and Ozu?"

At an inconspicuous corner, I heard Brother Minwoo’s voice, I hid by the wall and looked quietly, it was the figures of Brother Minyu and Brother Junhyuk.Does Brother Minwoo know about my relationship with Junghyuk?I'm a little curious and a little worried...

"What does this have to do with you?"

Different from his usual approachable and approachable voice, Brother Zhe He's voice was cold without any trace of warmth.

"Li Xiuman is my uncle! I know what you did to Ozu!"

Min Woo's words caught me by surprise, Lee Soo Man is actually Min Woo's uncle...

"Oh? I'm curious, what exactly do you know!"

Following Zhu Hege's voice, there was a bit of danger in the air...

"Wen Jinghe! Do you really think that no one knows about the nasty things you did! You asked your uncle to set up a trick for Ozu's father, and after he lost money, he took the initiative to lend him money, and finally forced him to pay Ozu back to you. Uncle, don’t you just want to get Ozu! You asked your uncle to deliberately rape Ozu and drug Ozu just to give you a chance to be a hero and let Ozu thank you for relying on you! You threatened the editor-in-chief who has been very helpful to Ozu , forcing Ozu to resign as a model, isn't it all to make Ozu completely controlled by you alone!"

Did Hyuk Hyuk do all of this... just to completely control me?Brother Minyu's words shocked me, but the words that followed made me even more unacceptable...

"You saw Ozu's performance on the stage, you were jealous, you were jealous, but I never thought that you would ask your uncle to find someone to stun Ozu and take his nude photos! Uncle said, you want to take all these photos Exposure! Moon Jung Hyuk! How could you do this! You will ruin Ozu like this! Don’t you understand! Ozu loves you! It’s because of you that he worked so hard to get into the current school! He has fallen in love with you a long time ago You! Before you fell in love with him, that silly boy was already in love with you like crazy!"

nudes...what nudes...my mind is in a knot and can't think...

"If you love Ozu too! I beg you, can you stop? As long as you stop, I will never tell Ozu about these things! He likes you so much, you gave him everything he yearns for , do you really have the heart to see all this destroyed?"

"Love? I just thought it was fun."

Brother Zhehe's words exploded in my head, repeating over and over again...

"I knew he liked me a long time ago! His eyes are so clean and bright, what is he thinking in his heart, don't you think I can't see it? Seeing that he likes me so much, but dare not express it, I see It hurts so much~ So, I helped him pierce this layer of paper. Didn’t he want to be my man? I gave him a chance to lie under me willingly and enjoy my pampering. You see, isn’t it now? Is it good? He is becoming more and more dependent on me, more and more inseparable from me, he wants my love, I will give it to him. Moreover, his taste is really delicious~"

I can't see the expression of Brother Ji He, but I can imagine that he must be wearing the evil smile that I was most obsessed with...

"Won Jung-hyuk! Your fucking BT!"

Brother Minyu seemed to have punched Brother Junhyuk. I leaned against the wall and tried my best not to let myself fall down. It turned out that the tenderness I was obsessed with and the warmth I couldn’t give up were all just a joke to play with me...I am So stupid, willingly laying under Brother Zhehe... Looking at me who is having fun under his knees, Brother Zhehe is contemptuous... Then lying under him without self-esteem, for the so-called love...

Love...the love I was obsessed with...for Jin Hyuk...but it's just a joke...a joke...

"I am BT! I have never denied it! Don't you know this very well? You know what kind of person I am, so you still let Jin'er be with me? You told me to stop? Already I can't get it anymore, I have already had someone post those photos! He is mine, even if it is destroyed, it only belongs to me! My things, even if I don't want them, I won't give them to anyone else!"

"I let him be with you! It's because I thought you really liked him! But, I just found out! You still have a fiancee in America! What the hell do you think of Ozu!"

Fiancée... Ge Hyuk still has a fiancée in America...

"It seems that you have investigated me very thoroughly. You even know that I have a fiancée! Yes, I have a fiancée in the United States. This is a marriage that my family has arranged for a long time. That woman happens to be the type I like, so, There is nothing wrong with getting married. As for Jin'er, do you think he can still leave me? As I said, my things, even if they are destroyed, are mine. Besides, keeping an extra pet is a big deal for me. It's not difficult!"

Pets...I'm just a pet raised by Brother Jinhe...I'm just Brother Brother's pet...All the tenderness, all the love, are just a means to tease the pet...

My world was built by Ji Hege. He gave me dreams and my home...but...why did he destroy everything so cruelly...why did he give me hope and then destroy it...

Brother Zhuhe, do you know...you are the only brilliance of my pale life...light up my life...I am obsessed with the sunshine you bring to me, the light you bring to me...but why take all of this away...no Without you...how should I go on alone...

I don't know how I got out of that corner... I wandered the streets like I lost my soul...

"Is that the boy in the photo?"

"It seems to be true!"

"He's quite handsome, but I didn't expect him to be so disgusting!"

Along the way, many people pointed at me and whispered. I saw various photos of me and a man I didn’t know on the school bulletin board... The man was lying on top of me, licking my body, while I closed my eyes and didn’t know anything. perception…

It's disgusting...

I laughed, tore off the photos one by one, surrounded by people, pointing at me, but I was unconscious...

The photos were tightly pasted, and they were torn off one by one. The wound on my hand left some blood stains on the photo. My body was smeared on the photo, and it was inexplicably strange...

I finally tore off all the photos, but I didn't know where I should go. The sharp pain in my head blurred my vision, but it couldn't stop me from moving forward...

One step, another step...

The bridge is so high, the water is so fast, I sit on the bridge, thinking about all the memories with Brother Jong Hyuk...

Everything in the past is mocking my obsession...

Memories are broken little by little, and my heart seems to be split with the memories. My head hurts so badly that it feels like it is about to split, but it is nothing compared to the pain of my heart. The nostalgia and infatuation of the past have all turned into jokes. In the eyes of Brother Ji He, it is just a dispensable pastime...

I'm just a pet...

The eyes are dry. It turns out that even tears are a luxury in times of despair...

The light is drawn away little by little, and the eyes can no longer see anything...

Is it dark?

The darkness wraps around my body, so completely black, without leaving a ray of sunlight, just like my world, just like this, it shatters, carrying all my dreams, all my thoughts, shattered...

The water, bitingly cold, barely above my head...

Dear God, you are so cruel, give me everything, and then take it away.You took away my sun, then, please take me away with you, although the body is already dirty, the soul is hopeless, and the broken heart can no longer recover, please also take me away...

Because, I don't have any meaning to live anymore...

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