coveted

Na na, you know what?

The Kise Ryota you see now who wants to let go of his chest and show his hottest heart to his sweetheart, at the very beginning, he used to hate Shiina Ruxun very much.

Very, very nasty - so much that you even expect that person to die.

coincides with the track of memory.Shiina Lu Xun transferred to Teiguang suddenly in the first semester of the second grade. With his exquisite appearance, warm temperament, excellent grades, and gentle and kind personality... he easily attracted a lot of attention.

From the students to the teachers, and even the gardener in the school, everyone appreciates him.

So, all the attention that originally belonged to "Kise Ryota" was taken away by this new guy just like that-it used to be around Kise Ryota and around Kise twittering all day long The girls are now surrounded by Shiina Luxun; the boys who were good friends with Kise Ryota have also turned into laughing and talking cheerfully beside that person; and the teacher used to talk to Kise Ryota's complaints about poor grades turned into compliments for Shiina Lu Xundi...

It's only natural to be dissatisfied, it's obviously mine, why would you take it away so easily!

You must know that before Shiina Luxun appeared, Kise Ryota who became a model early, Kise Ryota who was handsome and perfect like a prince, Kise Ryota who had a dazzling smile, and Kise Ryota who would mingle with everyone... But it has always been the brightest star on campus.But now, he was ripped off from such a high place and fell heavily to the ground. Of course, the proud Kise would not allow this shame of honor being trampled upon to happen to him.

[At this time, just show a smile. ]

——I've already seen through you. You, who have been wearing a perfect mask and playing the role that the public likes, are actually the same kind of person as me.Use hypocrisy to hide sincerity, fake smiles to hide disgust, masks to hide impatience...

[We are one kind of people. ]

——It is because of the same kind of person and similar aura that I hate you so much, it must be like this, the reason why I hate you.And ah... just one perfect character like "Kise Ryota" is enough, one is enough.So, do you really think you can play this role better than me?I have been wearing a mask since I was a child, and now the mask has been firmly attached to my face, buried in the flesh, and deeply connected with my original face... I can't pull it out again.

Everything that followed became logical.

Kise Ryota snatched back things that should belong to him from Shiina Luxun one by one.

He said a lot of disgusting sweet words to many irrelevant guys, but there are always people who are willing to believe such a lie full of loopholes, Kise secretly observed the appearance of that person while mocking secretly.

[It's almost unbearable, people like us... the worst thing is to see yourself being robbed of your own things, even if you never care about those things.Even if you are a cunning fox by now... it's time to show your tail, but I did the most, most, most disgusting thing for "people like you".Hurry up and show your real, ferocious, ferocious, terrifying, eerie, and terrifying expressions in front of everyone, and let everyone see what "Shiina Luxun" really looks like! ]

In fact, even though the surroundings became deserted, Shiina Lu Xun always had a quiet and gentle appearance.

[--what is this? ]

[Are you making me look ugly on purpose?Take me for a clown in a circus?Looking arrogantly, aloofly, like a god at such an ugly me, and then give me a look of pity? ]

[--Do not make jokes! ]

[You are the same as me, all your good things are faked, faked! ]

[Hey——let me tell you, stop pretending, I've seen through it all.Just honestly tear off that layer of mask, hurry up, let me be a little happier, just treat it as my reward for being busy these days, huh? ]

……

Once again, Kise whispered sweet lies in another young girl's ear.

Unsurprisingly, the girl blushed, and even when Kise lowered her head to ask for a kiss, she closed her eyes docilely and without resistance. The same shy expression wandering in the ocean of happiness suddenly made Kise feel bored .

The boredom cramped his stomach, causing his body to spasm uncontrollably.

His thin lips hung above a line, he pursed his lips, pushed the girl away, and left without looking back.

Huang Lai saw that young man was still sitting there - the third position from the window on the left side of the entrance of the library, the peaceful picture of holding a book and reading seriously was so beautiful that no one wanted to disturb him.

Looking at it from a distance like this, Kise felt that the twitching in his stomach was getting worse.

[It's so disgusting, deliberately put on such a warm and harmless look... Who are you trying to show it to!Forget it, I've brought back all those guys who were blinded by your illusion, so... you give me--don't pretend anymore! ]

The bursts of convulsions seemed to turn over all the food he had eaten at noon that had not yet been digested. Huang Set bent over and covered his mouth, and began to retch uncontrollably, while pressing his stomach deeply with one hand.

[—Give me some peace!Useless things!It's all his fault, it's all that person's fault... It's all because he is so disgusting, that's why I can't stop my stomach hurting so much that I want to vomit. ]

Kise's full of resentment turned into sharp and cold eyes, and he glanced over there mercilessly, but saw...

The boy raised his head for some unknown reason, he raised his hands forward and showed a "hypocritical" smile. Opposite him was slowly walking towards him. Perhaps this scene stimulated Kise, and that clamoring stomach actually become less clear.

[—Obviously, another one.So guess...how long will this last? ]

The guy you greeted last time forgot about you and almost kissed me just now.She should feel very honored, because I am Teiko's only flawless prince "Kise Ryota".

Take it away again and again, and again and again new guys will follow... These guys are really annoying! ! !In any case, please do better at the two tasks of seeing the stitches and adapting to the wind, so that you can succeed easily... I will also feel very boring.

Losing interest, Kise turned around and didn't want to watch the next scene anymore.

[—I can’t continue playing, because it’s too boring.There is no exciting new idea at all, so I don’t have the time to continue playing with you, if you resist a little because I stopped, maybe I can still consider... try again with you—]

[Well, you wouldn't do that anyway, after all, this fake face...you care about it very much. ]

When the homework was collected the next day, Kise arrived at school a little late and missed the time for the group to hand it in collectively. Shiina Lu Xunyou, who was qualified as a study committee member in the class, stood by Kise's desk. The two were so close for the first time.

Huang Lai threw the notebook out casually, not wanting to look over at the other party.

"Thank you for your cooperation, Kise-san." He heard the man say this in a gentle and soothing voice.

[——You’re really pretending, Shiina...student. ]

"You actually... have always, really hated me."

This very soft, whisper-like words was still heard by Huang Lai, he turned his head in surprise, but the man had already left, Huang Lai could only see the sleeves of the other party's clothes raised because of walking - clean , as that person looks.

You actually hate me all the time...

always hated me...

hate me...

hate me……

Hate……

hate...

This sentence reverberated in Huang Lai's brain all day long, even when he was talking to girls, he couldn't help being distracted, and when everyone was talking to him, his voice would be automatically filtered into that person's voice.

Gentle and melodious, warm and comfortable...

[—As expected, I can’t hate that guy more... that guy. ]

Kise pushed aside the girls who had gathered in front of him like ants.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." He clasped his hands together, blinked his beautiful amber eyes, and sincerely apologized, "I remembered that Akashi said that there was an activity in the basketball club this afternoon. Although I was very reluctant to part with you, there was no other way. I can get here..."

"Is it training? We can go to the scene to cheer for you..."

"Only today is not allowed." Kise tilted his head and put his finger on his lips, making a silent movement, "It's not training, it's about discussing some tactics... It's a bit complicated, and I'm not too sure I understand, but Akashi-chan said that everyone should be there..."

"Then... let's talk next time."

Kise waved back as he walked, with a look of reluctance.

After walking about ten steps, he put his hands back into his pockets, and lowered his head to cover those shining eyes.

[Where is there any tactical discussion?He said he was a loyal fan of the Teiko basketball club, but he didn't even know that the basketball club had been torn apart so much that they didn't even need to do training.It’s really refreshing my understanding of your stupidity every day. ]

[Anyway, you don’t care about those false names, you just need to look at the boy you like tomorrow and make a shrill scream in conjunction with any of his decent movements to prove your existence, so... Girls are such chattering and rebellious creatures, as long as you give her a little sweetness, you can satisfy everything... It's so boring. ]

……

Kise once again came to the library where Shiina Luxun took root.

The difference is that this time he walked up to that person.

Kise's tall stature blocked the sunlight outside the window, and the boy raised his head, and habitually smiled at Kise with a gentle and beautiful smile, his narrowed black eyes were as docile as a husky looking at its master pious.

Kise's heart missed a few beats.

[what happened? ——This kind of anticipation, waiting, longing...wonderful and weird feeling? ]

[It's amazing, did you figure out what kind of type I like? ]

He made a "please" gesture to Kise: "Please sit down, classmate Kise."

"No, it won't take that long."

The book was carefully closed, and the boy took the initiative to pull away the chair beside him: "This will affect others..."

Kise pressed his movements roughly, and frowned impatiently: "I said no, don't you understand?"

For the two classmates who usually don't talk very much, Kise's attitude at the moment is extremely bad, but the boy has always looked calm, he raised an index finger and made a silent movement from Kise Compared to the one that Kise did just now to coax girls with a little tease, the one in front of him is much simpler.

The noisy people around had already cast their gazes here, he stood up, smiled apologetically at others, then gently pulled Kise's sleeves, and walked out gently and irresistibly: "Let's go out explain."

It was a hot and scorching day in June.

In the remote corner where no one cares about the cool shade of the trees, Kise changed another mask, with a bright smile on the corner of his mouth, but the sarcasm and disgust in his eyes were deeper and thicker than the smile, and he brushed his fingers against the The corner of the clothes that Shiina Lu Xun touched.

The black-haired boy looked up at him, as if he didn't feel his disgust, he spoke in a calm tone.

"Please don't do this kind of thing again, Kise-san."

"What have I done?" Kise blinked innocently, his face full of confusion as if he really didn't know anything.

"That may be my misunderstanding." He continued without arrogance or impatience, he faced Kise, but his gaze passed through Kise and he didn't know where it fell, "In short, whether it is what I think or not, those people are just here Just say hello to me, they still belong to Kise, you don’t have to feel abandoned, try your best to snatch them back and throw them aside, this is your thing, I never thought of going with it You fight — believe it or not, I do."

[Hey, it’s like this again, innocent, kind, tolerant, merciful... Do you really think you are a priest or a savior?The guy who wants to save others in a whimsical way is of course... pretending. ]

"I said..." Huang Lai cracked the corners of his mouth and pulled out a sinister smile. He bent down and put his fingers on Shiina Luxun's jaw, forcing the other party to look directly into his eyes, "When talking to others, at least please look Look at me, okay? This is respect for others."

When he let go, the boy's white and delicate skin left a layer of red marks, and Huang Lai's eyes stayed there for a few more seconds, and then he continued: "It's just what you saw, I will treat you the same way. Take things around you, but I'm not going to apologize..."

Kise tilted his head to one side, and squinted at Shiina Luxun, who was shorter than him, all the darkness, indifference and ferocious profundity hidden in his eyes were revealed, "Because it's my thing, it's you who didn't pay attention to me. I snatched it secretly from time to time, I just took it back to protect my ownership, but the dog who will betray the owner... Even if it is snatched back, it can no longer be loved as before-but it seems... I I didn't like them at first. It was enough to just be obedient, but the result must make me angry."

The last words were so bad that Shiina Lu Xun couldn't help frowning.

"I'm really sorry, Kise-san, but I..." I didn't want to do that.

Kise interrupted him, and changed into a frivolous tone: "It doesn't matter, anyway, I've got them all back. But..." Kise picked up a few strands of black hair from Shiina Luxun and wrapped them around his slender fingertips , put his lips close to the other's ear, spraying countless moist and hot breaths, and soon there was a pitiful scarlet color, his voice was sweet and greasy like poison, "You can almost take off the mask, huh?"

[——The smell of this person, the smell of shampoo and body wash...is extraordinarily sweet.Is it because of this that countless people continue to want to get close to you, poor people who don't hesitate to sacrifice their bodies? ]

Kise was pushed away violently, the young man's clean and white face was flushed with astonishment, he bent down and pressed his heart, and the heavy breathing was so loud that Kise could hear it clearly.But the blond boy who caused all this stood quietly and watched coldly.

[Poor health?Of course I know this, but even this kind of thing can be used as a tool for you to win the sympathy of others... It's really amazing.how?Is your heart really so fragile that it can't bear even such a small stimulation?How does it feel now?My heart is throbbing and I want to stop beating; my breathing is so short that it seems that I will suffocate in the next second...?Na na, since you have worked so hard, why do you still live in this world?Obviously every second of heartbeat is torture for you, wouldn't it be good to release your soul as soon as possible? ——So... Hurry up and die. ]

[Let me just look at you who hate you, you who are hypocritical, you who are disgusting, and you who are contrived... Just disappear from this world. ]

Huang Lai's vicious and ferocious eyes cut at the young man like a sharp knife, Shiina Lu Xun's bending posture became deeper and deeper, until finally he curled up and squatted on the ground, with his knees on his chest and his hands around his legs, This made me feel a little better.

He raised his head slowly, and seeing the covered pair gradually revealed, another burst of malicious anticipation surged in Kise's heart.

[——Show me the real you.Expose all your hatred and hatred towards me to the scorching sun, and let them witness the filth and filth in your heart under the beautiful illusion, hurry up, hurry up...]

[—Hurry up, because I'm so ready to move, I can't wait. ]

Unfortunately, Kise was once again disappointed.

Shiina Luxun showed no disgust on his face, not even anger, he showed a tolerant and apologetic smile at Kise.

"I'm really sorry for making Kise-san feel so uncomfortable because of my existence. But... I really never thought about competing with others. Because of my body... Kise-san You have seen it just now, my body will be exhausted at any time, I never dare to hope that I can hold something. After all-if I accidentally give others expectations and I finally leave it irresponsibly If someone else dies like this...the person left behind is really pitiful. I want to do all the things I like while I am still alive, so even if I suddenly can't open my eyes again one day There will be no regrets in the eyes; I want to smile at every guy I know or don’t know, so that they feel that there is still so-called warmth in this world; I want to make more friends, so... even if I Even after death, some people will still remember that there was once an annoying or not bad person named 'Shiina Luxun', I don't want to be forgotten so easily."

His speaking speed is getting slower and slower, and even the smile on his face is faint and transparent, "I am so selfish and want to leave evidence that I have existed in this world, in the eyes of Kise-student, it is very strange." Hypocrisy and disgusting. Really... I didn't realize this until now. I wished to be ordinary friends with others but didn't consider their feelings. Sure enough, people like me should not compare with others. Okay, so when I die, no one will cry sadly. It is better for me to die earlier——If I die like this, can Kise-san not hurt those friends of yours? Because it is Intentionally or not...the person who needs to be punished...should be me, it's me..."

The moment the last word was uttered, the shaky boy fell to the ground no longer able to support himself, his soft and velvety black hair spread out like scattered ink.After a long time, Huang Lai walked over and probed the other party's breath with his fingers, which made people tremble with fear. The words the other party said just now were still echoing in his ears, and finally he bent down and hugged the boy obediently. .

Kise's embrace was much softer than the hard ground, but the comatose boy didn't move at all, the weight in his hand was unbelievably clear, and he took a last look at Shiina Lu Xun, the man's pretty eyebrows were deeply frowned Kise took a step forward.

"—Don't die, you..."

[You who can say something so seamlessly that I can't tell the truth from the fake, you who finally made me interested again...how could you really turn your whole body into a mess before I found out your cunning fox tail? Die before destroying?I have expectations for you, so is it really okay for you to abandon me like this? ]

[——This kind of unilateral end to the little fun I finally found, I don't allow it. ]

[Take back what you said before, you continue to give me... just live in such pain and forever. ]

On the bed in the school infirmary, the black-haired boy clutched his chest, his handsome brows furrowed deeply, as if he was having an unsolvable nightmare.Kise lowered her head and put her ears close to the other's parted lips.

"I'm sorry, Kise...student, I'm sorry..."

[—Poor frail wretch?This kind of existence is really too foul, congratulations, I have softened my heart a little by making myself look so miserable.Then...you will continue to please me like this, right? ]

Kise brushed away Shiina Lu Xun's wet black hair that was sticking to her head, and said kindly.

"I accept your apology."

[——So, regarding what will happen next...please don't let me down, Shiina...student. ]

***

***

But at this moment, this young man who traveled through the gate of time and space to find his beloved is standing quietly under the moonlight.

The bright blond hair was given a cold color by the pale moonlight, and the sharp blade in his hand was also reflecting a silver light that could not be ignored - the fresh blood that remained on it fell to the ground drop by drop, clearly visible in this silent night. can be heard.

Just now, he pierced that person's most fragile heart with this blade. The person woke up in pain, but he covered his mouth that was about to scream unconsciously. Not long after, the beautiful and vigorous The body loses its vitality again.

Kise killed Shiina Luxun of this world.

——Because, that's not his Xunjiang.

Shiina Luxun let Kise kill himself.

——Because he always wanted to die.

He has encountered danger countless times, and it was his intention to do it from the beginning. He always wanted to die, always wanted to die.

Oreki's so-called "don't go too far" - is to let him go in moderation.

What he said to Hongcun, "You have hindered me too many times" - is that Hongcun has saved him countless times.

The "I've been looking for" that Akashi said - all he was looking for was someone who could kill himself.

From the moment he was born, Shiina Luxun witnessed another "self" in other people's world in his dream every day, speaking different words with countless expressions, countless voices and countless people.

What's even more frightening is...every morning when he wakes up, he will remember everything he dreamed about last night.Using the same face, the same face that belongs to him, to make rich and varied expressions, even he can't tell which one is the real him.

So, he went crazy and broke down.

I really want to die... This feeling that I can't even control my body and emotions - Shiina Luxun really thought about and tried to commit suicide, but every time he actually did it, his body would become disobedient again.Since you can't do it yourself... then leave it to someone else.

From that moment on, Shiina Luxun pushed himself into the danger of his life hanging by a thread again and again, but Oreki, Hongcun and even other passers-by who didn't know each other would save him every time.

——The world is rejecting his death.

He can't even control anything about himself.

This feeling of being unable to do anything, of being powerless...is so funny.

Then, he met Kise who was looking for "Xunjiang" from another world.

In any case, Kise couldn't bear other souls using the shell of "Xunjiang" to do things that were incompatible with Xunchan's personality, so he chose to kill Shiina Luxun.

——Xunjiang who was invaded by monsters?

——That's too much, occupying the body of the person I love the most, you must die.

——This is my last gift to you.

At the last moment when he was on the verge of death, the boy with the face of "Xunjiang" finally showed Kise the first heartfelt smile in his life. Kise was in a trance for a moment, but he still understood the other's lips shape.

"--thanks."

——You're welcome, this is for Xunjiang.

Kise took out the key and put it between his lips and kissed it.

——No matter how many times and spaces I travel through, I will find you, the real you...Xunjiang.

--I love you so much.