I lost my memory after throwing the ball and running over the total crematorium

The night is dark and everything is dead.

Yuan Ci sat in the darkness for a long time, so long that it almost melted into the darkness.Then, he stood up very slowly, and began to pick up the fragments of the album one by one.

After picking them up, he turned on the light, sat at the table, and pasted them together one by one.

Crumpled and shredded paper, still stained with the moisture of tears.

There was the sound of light footsteps behind him, and a small figure was reflected on the ground.

"Daddy..." GaoGao stood there, hugging her little rabbit.

The original voice stretched out his hand to his daughter, and the little girl walked over unsteadily, he hugged her, together with Lionia, his cheeks were pressed against the top of her soft hair.

"Father." Gao Gao looked up at him, "Are you crying? Don't cry."

Yuan Cisheng closed his eyes and said in a low voice, "It's so late, why aren't you sleeping?"

"GaoGao wants to help." The little girl jumped down and climbed onto the chair on the other side of the table, "Dad, let me help you glue Daddy's book together!" Saying that, the chubby put his hand into the pocket of his clothes, Get out craft scissors and glass tape.

Yuan Ci's voice was slightly startled, looking at his daughter's clear and bright black eyes, he had nowhere to hide, no place to feel ashamed.

The father and daughter stuck their heads together.The tedious and torturous work, no matter how carefully repaired, the collaged pages are still full of cracks, like broken mirrors.

Not even redemption, such a ridiculous behavior.

Every time a piece is put together, the despair in my heart deepens.

GaoGao was sleepy, couldn't help but close her big eyes, then tried to open them again, and continued to collage pieces one by one.

The original voice glanced at his daughter, his nose felt sore again, and he said in a hoarse voice, "Daddy will take you back to bed first, okay? Daddy will finish it soon."

GaoGao shook her head, and the chubby hand picked up the pile of shredded papers again, searching for the correct one.

"found it!"

She put together the scraps of paper she found, blinked her eyes curiously, and read word by word: "He... He... Wen... Xiu? He Wenxiu? Dad, who is He Wenxiu?"

The original voice seemed to be unclear, "He Wenxiu?"

GaoGao pointed to the page of the book that had just been pieced together, "It was written on it with a pen, He Wenxiu. Dad, who is she?"

The voice of the original speech leaned over in disbelief, and there really were the handwritten words He Wenxiu on that page, and it could be seen that there were some other words written on it.However, because I haven't spelled it out completely, I have no way of knowing what it is written for a while.

"He Wenxiu is... your father's mother."

When he said these words, he himself felt incredible.Isn't this picture book an extracurricular reading when I was a child?Haven't they been kept in this old house together with other books?

Why... is He Wenxiu's name written on it?

He took a deep breath, his fingers trembling slightly, and pieced together the rest.In the cool spring night, fine beads of sweat oozed from his forehead.Such a job with no technical content seems to be the most important thing he has ever done in his life.

The pieces of paper were glued one by one, and his fingers trembled more and more.What finally appeared on the broken page were two lines of blunt but very serious blessings——

Dear Niannian: Thank you for coming to my mother's side and bringing joy to a monotonous life.You are my mother's sunflower. Seeing you is like seeing the sun. Only when the sun shines can my mother be happy.Today is your birthday, mother wishes you a happy birthday, always healthy and safe!Gift from mother He Wenxiu

"How could this be...how could this be happening!" Yuan Ci's thin lips moved, and he murmured to himself hysterically.However, no one could answer him why he had He Wenxiu's birthday present for He Jingnian, and no one could tell him how he could restore this precious heart that was torn up by his own hands.

He stood up abruptly, and ran outside with big strides, his tall back showing a bit of staggering embarrassment.Opening the door of the bedroom, he almost threw himself on the side of the bed, begging him incoherently with a sour and hot voice and sobbing with tears, begging him to tell him where the picture album came from, over and over again.

However, He Jingnian seemed to be in a nightmare, crying, kicking and beating him, hitting him with everything he could get.The only person who knows is no longer able to give him an answer.

After such a commotion, he was dragged out by Aunt Yang Li and the doctor who rushed over.All of them had frightened expressions on their faces, as if they were frightened by his current appearance, that look was no different from looking at a dangerous lunatic.He threw off everyone's restraint, stumbled to find something, something he hated so much that he gritted his teeth, something that ruined his and He Jingnian's happiness——

The big hand with bulging veins tremblingly held up a pitch-black machine with a mottled shell.

Pressing the play button, the young man's clear and clear voice slowly flowed into his ear canal. It was a more pleasant voice than a clear spring, but to him it sounded like corrosive and violent poison, burning his brain into a mass of scorched carbon.

whose voice is this?

whose voice is this?

whose voice is this?

This is...whose voice?

"Master." Aunt Yang Li touched his shoulders, just about to comfort him, but he suddenly raised his head, with two green eyes as dark as will-o'-the-wisps on his pale face, tremblingly held up a walkman in front of her, and said: "Listen to me again... who is that person inside?"

Aunt Yang Li was really frightened by his inhuman appearance, so she put on her earphones and listened.After a while, she couldn't help being surprised, "Master, didn't you record this before? It's your voice inside."

"Impossible!" Yuan Ci shouted.

"How can it be impossible? How could I not even hear your voice when I was a child?" Aunt Yang Li frowned, and said, "If you don't believe me, you can listen to someone else. As long as you are willing to listen carefully, you will definitely hear me." It can be heard that the voice inside is somewhat similar to your current voice."

The original speech was dumb.From the moment he turned on the Walkman, there was only unwillingness and jealousy in his heart. Negative emotions were like dark matter, devouring reason and blinding the soul. How could he be willing to devote a little attention to listening and even discerning the voice inside.

"Impossible...it's impossible...absolutely impossible!" He kept denying, without any room, without giving in, just as he never thought about the possibility that He Jingnian might really love him.

There are all kinds of people in the world who give love, receive love, and expect someone to respond with love.Only he is the exception among thousands of people.I don't know how to love, and I take it for granted that I won't be loved.

In other words, not worthy of being loved.

Holding the Walkman, he listened to it over and over all night.While listening, he shivered in fear of the cold, because he was afraid, afraid that he would recall the memory of this Walkman, afraid that all the impossible would become possible, and afraid that it would be proven that he had gone to an irreversible bad situation from the very beginning. ending.

He is helpless and confused, and he really hopes that someone will help him and tell him what to do.Even if he was tortured like a hawk by Yuan Zhengye in the past, he has never felt so desperate now.

The next day, at daybreak, he left, returned to Chuanyuan City, and went to the Enci Welfare Institute.

When the dean saw him, he was taken aback. He couldn't believe that this pale and haggard man was actually the former chairman who was well-dressed and full of oppression from the superior.

"Check one thing for me."

When he opened his mouth and raised his eyes, the dean was a little startled.The two eye sockets are sunken deep into pits, embedded with red bloodshot green eyeballs, the voice is hoarse and piercing, like fingernails scratching a rusty door, the whole person stands there, like a vampire crawling out of a coffin .

"No, no problem, what do you want to know?"

"More than ten years ago, did the late well-known jewelry designer Xie Lisi come here to make a donation?"

The dean was stunned for a moment, "You... just wait a moment, I'll send someone to check the files right away."

During the waiting time, Yuan Cisheng walked to the window and looked at the restored and preserved old building of the Enci Orphanage, trying to evoke a little bit of memory.In her short life, his mother did many good deeds in many places, and often took him to those places to live a different life.He wondered if he had come here before, if he was here, and met He Jingnian.

He tried desperately, but in vain.The memory of his youth has been deliberately forgotten by him. When he is happy, he is happier when he recalls the pain, and vice versa.

Probably, he really has been dreaming all the time, and he would rather it be a dream.

Those two lines of words did not exist in the album, it was his hallucination.There was no sound in the Walkman at all, it was his hallucination.Everything is false, an illusion.

At this moment, he is not in the Enci Orphanage. After waking up from the dream, he will find himself standing on the altar of the altar. The wedding in June, the bride and groom will be happy.The pastor asked him, do you want He Jingnian to be your wife and make a marriage contract with him?At this time, I must hold He Jingnian's trembling hand, and tell him not to be afraid or nervous. This wedding is not a commercial show, but a sincere one.

Then, looking into He Jingnian's eyes, he said:

I always do.

"Director Yuan..." the dean came in with an apologetic face, "I'm really sorry, we didn't find out about the donation you mentioned."

The original speech was silent, "Are you sure?"

The dean rubbed his hands in embarrassment, "Do you remember that you asked Secretary Jin to get a list of children who have been in and out of here before, and asked us to delete all the records of those years from the file?"

Yuan Ci looked at him, "What do you mean?"

"The files of those years are completely blank. The donation you mentioned may have happened in those years..."

"That's it." Yuan Ci nodded, got up and went out.He didn't leave right away, but walked aimlessly in the Enci Orphanage.

He saw that the children were playing happily in the activity area, and the colorful amusement facilities reflected the immature smiling faces.He was wondering if there would be any surprises among those laughing children.Does he prefer to go on the slide, or on the swing?Will he be like those naughty children, making sand all over his body in the sandpit?

"Original speech!"

He was so lost in thought that he didn't hear someone calling him behind him.

"Original speech, stop!"

The voice was louder again, but he still shuffled slowly, without any response.

Putting a hand on his shoulder, he stopped numbly, turned his head slowly, stared at him for a long time, and asked hoarsely, "Is that you?"

Shen Tangfeng was startled by the calm and crazy look on his face, and grabbed his arm, "How is Niannian?"

Yuan Ci raised his eyelids, "Why did you come here?"

"Looking for you." Shen Tangfeng answered simply.Sitting on the sidelines, he knew he would come back here one day.

Yuan Ci's body froze for a moment, looked at him, and said word by word: "You know."

"You send Nian Nian back, he should be by his real relatives, not you."

"I'm not trading with you."

"Same." Shen Tangfeng curled his thin lips coldly, "Liao, Xia."

Yuan Cisheng's pupils shrank obviously, his chest rose and fell, and his hands hanging by his side clenched into fists.

"Liao Xia." Shen Tangfeng called again, not calling him, but rather licking something with relish. "You know, every time I heard Aunt Xie Lisi call you that, I was very envious. Aunt Xie Lisi loves you very much, every time she calls you full of love."

The phalanx of the original speech has been so hard that it is protruding and white, "What do you want to say?"

"Liao Xia is really a good name, a name that is loved by others, and Liao Xia is also a loved person." Shen Tangfeng thought thoughtfully, "Tell me, why did Liao Xia, who was loved by everyone in the past, become the person I am now? Is that so?"

"Shen Tangfeng!"

"Niannian must be very disappointed, right? Incomparably, disappointed." Facing his ashen and distorted face, Shen Tangfeng calmly said, "In the first year I took Niannian to the United States, he was sometimes sober and sometimes confused, and most of the time he couldn't even complete a sentence. He couldn't even speak. But that Christmas, when he was decorating the Christmas tree, he suddenly spoke."

Yuan Ci asked tremblingly, "What?"

"He said, will Liao Xia come this Christmas?" Shen Tang paused, "Which Liao Xia do you think he is talking about? Which Liao Xia made him willing to be hurt, and which Liao Xia made him suffer and despair again and again ?”

"Shut up!" Yuan Ci growled.

"He doesn't remember anything, but he only remembers Liao Xia. Even if his Liao Xia has forgotten him completely, he doesn't care, as long as he can stay by Liao Xia's side."

Shen Tangfeng continued: "I used to be very curious about why I fell in love with someone like you every year. Even if I was attracted by your skin for a while, I couldn't bear you for too long. Only later did I suddenly realize that He Jingnian loves you Even though the embers of Liao Xia on his body are weak, they are enough to make him refuse to turn back."

"I don't believe it..." Yuan Ci murmured, "Why didn't he tell me? If it was true, he should have told me three years ago!"

Shen Tangfeng smiled, "Ask yourself. But you can't get the answer, right? He Jingnian has a heart, but you don't."

"I won't believe it." Yuan Cisheng glared at him with bloodshot eyes, and said bitterly, "No matter what your purpose is for you and me, I will not let him go. He can't do without me , I can't do without him, all of your so-called relatives and family members' feelings for him can't match me at all."

"I knew you wouldn't listen to what I said, but you have to believe what someone said." Shen Tangfeng looked at him, "I can bring him to see you, don't you want to know the truth?"

Yuanci laughed hoarsely, "I don't care about the truth or not. It's too late now...it's too late."

"You don't care, you care every year. Have you ever thought that maybe he has been waiting three years ago."

The original voice trembled.

"When you find out, the truth that he has always loved you."

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The author has something to say:

感谢在2022-06-0100:00:00~2022-06-0200:00:00期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels for irrigating me with nutrient solution~

Thanks to the little angel of irrigation nutrient solution: 3 bottle of Yanyao;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!