I lost my memory after throwing the ball and running over the total crematorium

He Jingnian lowered his head slowly.But obviously, Yuan Cisheng still saw his expression, the arm that was wrapped around him gently like a porcelain hug just now, tightened suddenly as hard as steel.He looked at him without saying a word, his green eyes flickering coldly, waiting for his answer.

He Jingnian turned his face, looked at him, and said, "I don't want to get pregnant."

The original speech opened his mouth, but before he spoke, he continued: "Didn't I tell you that this is the last time. There will be no more results between us. I cannot conceive your child."

Yuan Cisheng's eyes were red like blood, and he asked word by word: "Why are you doing this to me?"

"sorry."

"I don't want to hear these three words!" The original voice gritted his teeth, "If you still hate me, feel free to come and get revenge on me. But you can't lie to me, you say you love me, but you end up looking for another man !"

"I'm sorry for Tang Feng." He Jingnian struggled to say every word, "He treated me very well, he saved me, and accompanied me through the most painful days. Since I promised him, I will always be with him , it will definitely be done.”

"What about me? Have you ever thought about me even once!"

"I have!" He Jingnian raised his voice tremblingly, "Why would I miss you. As long as I see you and hear your voice, I can't help but think about you. Obviously... obviously I can't think about it, we It has nothing to do with it, I don't even remember you, but I just can't help myself."

"You interfere with me, affect me, and make me very sad. I don't even know what to do. I don't want to be so embarrassing anymore, but why can't you let me go?"

Yuanci's eyes dimmed as if they were about to devour someone, and he asked bitterly, "If I let you go, who will let me go?"

"Originally everything was fine. The two years I was studying in Polit... were really the best days. No matter what happened before, I just want to start again. After returning to China, I want to do something I like down-to-earth matter, and then marry Tang Feng, and the two will live happily together."

He Jingnian panted hard, his face was flushed red, and he tried his best to suppress the crying that was almost bursting through his throat back into his chest.

"It was you who ruined everything... you ruined everything so easily! Sometimes I really hate you so much, I think it would be nice if you could disappear from this world. But... just imagine a little I can't help but feel sad when I don't see you."

"I'm really useless. You messed up my life, but I don't regret it at all."

The original speech trembled and asked, "What do you regret?"

He Jingnian shed a big tear and said, "I have never regretted meeting you."

In the silence, only the tears are constantly moving.Everything in the line of sight is superimposed with transparent phantoms, surging, dizzy, and out of focus lenses.

There was weight on his shoulders, and it was Yuanci's voice that hugged him and slowly reached his back.The sour and hot breath pierced through his skin, and it was painful.

He cried, He Jingnian thought.He cried.However, he only knew that Yuan Ci was in pain, but he didn't know why his pain came from.Not because he insisted on finding another man, not because he cruelly denied all their future possibilities, but because he finally got what he had been chasing so hard for, even long ago, but lost it in the next instant.

A long-overdue confession, an unfulfilled sincerity.

"You actually love me."

"Ah."

"you love Me."

"Ah."

"How can you love me?"

He Jingnian smiled bitterly, "You ask me... even I can't figure it out myself."

Yuanci's teeth were clenched tightly, the muscles on his face were too tense, showing the outline from the skin, and then slowly loosened, revealing an extremely sad expression.

"I thought it was the most painful thing for me that you didn't love me, but I didn't expect that it was you who loved me."

He Jingnian did not respond, but calmly repeated the name of the medicine.

Yuan Ci stared at him, and begged him hoarsely, "Niannian, can you think about it again?"

He Jingnian lowered his eyes, "It's very safe and has no side effects."

"You know I don't mean that!" Yuan Ci's fingers trembled and tightened, "It doesn't matter if you are pregnant, please give me a chance to be responsible, okay? I really want to have another child with you, cake ...GaoGao has always wanted a younger sister."

He Jingnian shook his head.

Yuan Cisheng slowly let go of the hands that were gripping his shoulders, and left, leaving him in the dark.When he came in again, he brought him medicine, and the medicine bottle was about to be crushed in the palm of his hand.

He Jingnian thanked him in a low voice. When he unscrewed the medicine bottle, he thought Yuanci's voice would come to stop him, but Yuanci's voice didn't, and his eyes were dark and heavy, as if he wanted to absorb his whole body.

He Jing poured out two white pills, put them in his mouth, raised his head and took a sip of warm water, as if he had swallowed a broken blade, which hurt his entire chest.

Yuan Cisheng stood on the side all the time, watching him motionlessly.

He Jingnian put down the glass, "When are you going to send me back?"

Yuan Ci's eyes slid down, "Where are you going?"

"I want to go home."

"This is your home, I will bring you cake."

"Why did you drag your daughter into the matter between us!"

"If you still have a daughter in your heart, you should remarry me! Do you know how sad Gao Gui feels every time we have parent-child activities in kindergarten?"

"Don't make excuses, I said that I would try my best to compensate Gao Gui, but you refused to cooperate with me!"

"Compensation? What compensation do you mean mean being entangled with other men?"

"Yuan Cisheng, are you sick? Tang Feng was originally my legitimate boyfriend, and you and I are not normal!"

"So what if it's abnormal? You still love me! Besides, you forced me to be abnormal. You turned me into what I am now, and you have to abandon me cruelly!"

He Jingnian was so angry that he kicked him hard, which touched the hidden wound and made him gasp in pain.Yuan Cisheng hurried to help him, the skin that became more sensitive after a long period of intimacy was suddenly covered by the burning hands, he couldn't help trembling all over, and under the mixture of shame and anger, he even kicked him fiercely.

Yuanci's voice remained unchanged and he let him vent, and the expensive fabrics on his body were crumpled by his kicking.When he was tired from kicking, he stretched out his hands to grab his feet into his arms and gently rubbed them, "Does the feet hurt?"

"..." He Jingnian wrapped the quilt tightly, "Bring me my clothes, and I will find a way to get back by myself."

The corners of Yuan Ci's lips curled slightly, "You can't wear those anymore."

He Jingnian's face became hot, "...then just take some clothes that you can wear!"

Yuan Cisheng went out and quickly brought him clothes.The loose-fitting pure white silk nightgown has intricately embroidered ruffles on the cuffs and neckline, swaying like water waves.

He Jingnian was dumbfounded, "That's it?"

"That's it."

"Are you not going to let me go back at all?"

The original voice said innocently: "If you think so, I can't help it."

He Jingnian glared at him, put on the nightgown with all his heart, and ran out.The voice of Yuan Ci sounded behind him, "You can go wherever you want, but there are forests outside, it will be very dangerous if you get lost."

He Jingnian turned around abruptly, "Don't go too far!"

Yuan Cisheng sat with arms folded, with his long legs resting, admiring his appearance.

He Jingnian said angrily, "What are you looking at!"

The original voice smiled and said, "Niannian, you are so pretty."

"...you are really sick!"

"I forgot to tell you, no one can come in without my permission." Yuan Ci paused for a moment, and added lightly, "The ranger has a gun."

He Jingnian was stunned, a chill suddenly shot down his back.

"Just kidding." Yuan Ci held his hand and twirled his fingers one by one, "I also found this dress for you because I was worried about your injuries. convenient."

The smiling voice, the low-pitched ending, seems vague.He Jingnian's fingertips were a little hot, he pulled his hand away forcefully, turned his face away, "No matter what, I must go, you can't keep dragging me."

Yuan Cisheng's expression turned cold, as if a thin layer of ice had formed quickly.Xu Shi noticed that He Jingnian shrank back into the sofa, so he calmed down and said softly, "Niannian, I just want to have you with me, so you can stay with me more?"

He Jingnian ignored him.Anyway, Yuan Cisheng's request has always been talking to himself, whether he agrees with it or not, he will do it right.

At dinner time, Yuan Cisheng took him to the restaurant for dinner on the grounds that he was inconvenient to walk.Along the way, He Jingnian found that this mansion was the most luxurious so far, much more magnificent than the one in Ruishan Yuting.Rich and extravagant, the location is hidden, just like a golden birdcage hidden in the forest.

"Niannian, what do you think of this place?"

He Jingnian was taken aback, "Very beautiful."

Yuan Ci lowered his eyes and looked at him affectionately, "Then shall I give it to you?"

He Jingnian was taken aback, this man always talked to himself when he gave things, whether he was surprised or not when he gave him gems or his mansion.

"I do not want."

"Together with the surrounding forest and two artificial lakes."

"...I said I don't want it."

"I bought this house in the year we got married, thinking that our family could come here for vacation after Gao Gau was born, and I look forward to it every day."

"I am willing to go anywhere with GaoGao, but I cannot meet your expectations."

Yuan Cisheng remained silent, hugged him against the wall, and bullied him viciously.

He Jingnian was suspended in the air, so he hugged his neck even tighter.The two slender and white legs were like white fish out of water, in stark contrast to the man's firm and strong waist, so fragile that they seemed to break if they were folded.

A fierce and long speech, full of vindictiveness.First, he was so cruel that he was on the verge of suffocation, and then let him go a second before he was suffocated. Before he recovered, he started a new round of more brutal plundering.

He Jingnian trembled all over, his tear-filled eyes lost focus, whimpered, and let out a distressed nasal sound, which made the man even more irritable, wishing to bite off his flesh and blood one by one, smacking him repeatedly, and swallowing it into his stomach.

When Yuan Ci's voice was satisfied for a moment, his entire portrait melted down to the bones, and he was hugged limply in his arms, with one hand hanging down feebly, the pale wrist that was so thin that it would shatter with a single pinch had not faded the bruise marks, and was as bright as a flower branch.

The restaurant is a glass arcade, and you can see the clear starry sky when you look up. The long dining table is filled with pure white roses, which is as romantic as a wedding scene.

Every room, every corridor, and even a small corner of this house are decorated in an incomparably beautiful and dreamy way.The lifelike reliefs, the flowers in full bloom, and the colorful flower windows are so romantic that they can almost be ignored. In fact, there are only two of them in the huge space, one is leaving and the other is staying.

Yuan Cisheng never let go of him, as if he would disappear as soon as he let go.He Jingnian was hugged by his waist and sat across him.

Two feet protruded from under the hem of the clothes, and the toes curled up to grab the carpet, trying to grab it, but not daring to.After all, he was only wearing a thin and smooth silk nightgown, which was almost in close contact with the original voice, and it was very bad to move.

Yuan Cisheng was in a good mood, filled him with a bowl of fish soup, and fed him spoonful by spoonful. "These dishes are all made by myself, and they are light in taste. You can't eat spicy food these days, so pay more attention."

He Jingnian's face was a little hot, and he said bluntly: "Don't worry about it."

"I did it, and I am responsible."

"...is seriously ill."

He was scolded again, but Yuan Cisheng seemed to be in a better mood, smiling slightly and continuing to feed him.Feed him a couple of bites, kiss him, cheek, heart, ear.The ear beads are hidden in the dark and soft strands of hair, tender and creamy, and the flesh is tender and greasy when pecked into the mouth, which is not interesting.

He Jingnian couldn't take it anymore, he struggled to get off the ground.But the voice of Yuan Ci was in high spirits, pinching his thin arched shoulders and not letting him go.After going back and forth, He Jingnian suddenly froze, his eyes slowly widened, and his face flushed red.

The voice of the original speech asked him with a confused look: "Niannian, what's wrong with you?"

He Jingnian was steaming from the top of his head, "Are you going to be ashamed? Let me go!"

"Oh, that's it." Yuan Ci's voice revealed a sudden realization, "I can't help it, Niannian, are you willing to help me?"

"roll……!"

The original speech hooked the corners of his lips, and kissed him on the cheek, "Okay, I'll listen to you."

Of course, rolling is impossible.He Jingnian was wrapped in a thick camel's hair blanket by him, and he hugged him to watch the stars, the moon, and the water curtain fountain in the courtyard.The water curtain rises in the landscape lights, and the water mist floats in the air, wetting the cobblestone path with luxuriant flowers and trees.

Not long after, the sky began to snow again.

A long winter that seems never to end.

A snowflake touched the tip of his nose, and He Jingnian raised his hand to brush it, and it immediately melted into a little cool water vapor on the fingerprint.Turning his head to look at Yuan Ci's voice, snowflakes also fell on his hair and eyelashes one after another.Ordinary, inconspicuous snowflakes are no different from thousands of fluttering snowflakes.but--

Yuan Cisheng turned his face to the side and smiled at him, his long eyelashes were condensed with brilliant neon.

He Jingnian felt slightly dizzy, and slowly turned his head away.

However, once the ordinary and inconspicuous snowflakes land on this person, they will become different from thousands of fluttering snowflakes.They will become the fine velvet of white swans, or the fragrant stamens of night-blooming epiphyllum, which are unusually beautiful.

The original speech carried him back to the room, the fireplace painted a warm orange-red light on the four walls, and the two sat in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, watching the snow scene outside together.

"Every year, that year we also sat by the window watching the snow like we do now."

"Ah."

"You asked me when GaoGao will grow up. I said, children will grow up very quickly. Maybe at that time we will still feel that the child grows up too fast, and we will feel reluctant."

He Jingnian smiled, "You have never been a father, how did you know?"

The original speech fell silent, "You asked me that at the time."

"Then how did you answer?"

"You fell asleep before I could speak."

"Oh."

After a while of silence, the original voice asked: "Niannian, what are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking about my mother. When I was young, I always wanted to grow up quickly and help her a little bit so that she wouldn't have to work so hard. But my mother said that she worked so hard so that I wouldn't grow up so fast."

"If mom can see you now, she will be very proud."

"Why do you say that?"

"Mom loves you very much. It is unconditional to be proud of the person you love the most. You don't need any reason."

He Jingnian raised his eyes and saw his long eyelashes drooping down, covering his green eyes. He said softly, "Your parents must be like this, and they will be proud of you now."

After a pause, he said: "From Liao Xia who would cry because he was afraid of riding a horse, to the original voice in front of me now, you must have put in a lot of hard work that others can't imagine. I think it is very remarkable."

The original speech did not make a sound, as if he did not hear it.

He Jingnian touched his nose in embarrassment, "Of course, I mean work, career..."

His back sank, Yuan Cisheng lowered his head, and put his eyes on his shoulder.He Jingnian vaguely felt two points of hot steam penetrate his clothes and touch his skin. When he was about to say something, he heard a low, slow and continuous choking sound in Yuan Ci's throat.

Is he crying?Is there something wrong with what I said?He Jingnian was at a loss, and through the reflection of the window glass, he saw the somewhat blurred figure of the original speech, and in the soft and warm firelight, there was a strong outline of sadness.

After a long time, he heard the original voice say: "I will send you back tomorrow."

"Also, try not to let me see you again in the future."

"Because, I don't know if I can control myself from doing those horrible things."