Difficult round

Tan Xiaolei leaned back on the recliner.Today's weather is very good. It's almost three o'clock in the afternoon. It's the time of the day when the temperature is the highest. The sun hangs brightly in the air, making people feel hot all over and can't open their eyes.He narrowed his eyes slightly and didn't look at Gu Yan.

"It's good, I didn't ask for leave for nothing." He seemed to smile, but the smile was very faint, and it passed quickly.

He's not in a good mood right now.Gu Yan frowned, thinking to himself.

For the past seven years, his attention has been on Shen Qi, his eyes, his head, and his mind are all about that person. He seems to have been poured into some ecstasy potion, and he only thinks about how to make people happy all day long. , How can I make the other party love me more and be inseparable from me?

Love a Shen Qi and feel that there is not enough time.

It is also because of this that he can keenly perceive Shen Qi's emotional changes, whether the other party is happy or angry, sad or sad, he can even catch it earlier than Shen Qi himself.

But for other people besides Shen Qi, Gu Yan became very dull, it was difficult to understand why the other party was suddenly happy, and why he was suddenly unhappy.

It's like he can't guess why Tan Xiaolei is in a bad mood now.

All I can say is, "Well. That's good."

Not many people came to swim at this time. At the beginning, there were only the two of them by the pool, and then a young couple came with their twin sons.

The twins are five or six years old, and they wear two identical life buoys around their waists, with cute little yellow duck patterns printed on them. Dad gets one and mom gets one, and they lead them into the swimming pool. The twins can't swim, and they use their hands and feet to paddle and pull. Splash, giggling and laughing non-stop, having a great time.

Gu Yan turned his head to look at them, but what he thought of was someone in the hall upstairs.He thought inexplicably, if it wasn't for him, that person might have married and had children long ago, and maybe the children would be so old that they would be soy sauced.

It may be twins, it may be twins, it may be sons or daughters, and it may even respond to the right policy to have two children and three children...

That person may also be like the father of the twins, taking their son or daughter to the playground, the zoo, the aquarium...to travel with their wives.

They will take many, many photos and leave many, many memories, just like many of the most ordinary and happiest families in the world...

Occasionally there will be conflicts and quarrels, but they can be reconciled soon, and that person doesn't have to worry about the secrets in his heart being exposed day after day, year after year, and he doesn't have to be afraid of being poked at the back and scolded for being too much, and he doesn't have to... and He is a man, dealing with grievances.

……

As his thoughts drifted further and further away, Gu Yan lit another cigarette for himself, and smiled.Laughing at being sick, laughing at the whimsy.

"Gu Yan." Then, the person who was still in his mind just now suddenly appeared in front of him, calling his name softly.Gu Yan suddenly came back to his senses, and subconsciously raised his eyes to look up.

That person's face was still covered with the mask of white feathers, and the lower left corner was stained with a red bloodstain.

In fact, it is quite small, but because of the strong contrast between the two colors, it is particularly obvious.There is also a kind of weird beauty.

Gu Yan looked down and landed on the other party's hand hanging by his side. — still bleeding, not sterilized and bandaged.

And this person was thinking about the same thing as him: "Gu Yan, did you ask the waiter to bring me the small medicine box?"

In fact, there is no need to ask more, but Shen Qi still stubbornly wants to confirm again.I want Gu Yan to admit it personally.

In front of Tan Xiaolei, he confessed it himself.

However, Gu Yan ignored him, the cigarette was sandwiched between the index finger and middle finger, burning silently, and a long section of ash had already accumulated.With his arms hanging over his knees, he flicked the cigarette with his other hand, brushing off the ash.

Shen Qi pursed her lips tightly and stared at him.Tan Xiaolei sat on the recliner next to Gu Yan, and only glanced at Shen Qi when he just came over, and then kept his eyes down, neither looked at him nor spoke.

It seems that he knew that he was here from the beginning, and did not show the slightest surprise to his appearance.

This made Shen Qi feel very unwilling.

Why did he think, why did he feel despicable and embarrassed every time he faced Tan Xiaolei, but this person always looked so calm and relaxed.

Why can he follow Gu Yan to participate in their departmental activities as a matter of course, why can he sit beside Gu Yan, smoke and talk with him, why Gu Yan will smile at him...

Why.

What else can I do.

He gave up on Gu Yan by himself.

Gu Yan is happy.

"Gu Yan." Shen Qi forced himself not to think about it, and focused his gaze on Gu Yan again.

The other party didn't speak for a long time, so he squatted down, put his chest against the other party's knee, held Gu Yan's palm that didn't hold a cigarette with both hands, and held it next to his face as he did outside the bathroom just now, rubbing it affectionately, dumb begged him with a voice:

"Gu Yan, speak up."

"Please speak to me."

Gu Yan curled up his palm suddenly, but Shen Qi still didn't let go, he held his palm to his chest and pressed it against his heart.

The heart under the palm was beating violently, as if it was about to smash the thin chest and fall into his palm.

Gu Yan bit the cigarette between his fingers into his mouth, and took two puffs vigorously, letting the strong smell of tobacco overwhelm the restlessness in his heart.Only then did he finally lift his eyelids twice, and cast his eyes on Shen Qi.

He asked indifferently, "How do you want me to answer you?"

Shen Qi's eyes flickered, blood was still oozing from the right palm cut by the broken glass, but the bleeding was not as severe as before, but even so, it still stained Gu Yan's palm red.The face was also stained a little from the touch just now.

"How do you want me to answer you, Shen Xi." Gu Yan leaned forward a little, leaned close to Shen Qi, and repeated the question just beside his ear.Shen Qi trembled subconsciously, and took half a step back, "I—"

Gu Yan pressed her harder and harder: "You want me to say that I do this because I care about you, I never forget you, and I don't want you to be injured and bleed, that's why I do this, right?"

Isn't it?Shen Qi thought, isn't it because you still have a little concern for me?

"Of course not Shen Qi. The reason why I did this is because I am the director of the design department. Since I promised to hold this event, it is impossible for anyone to have an accident at my event. No matter who it is today, as long as they On the list of June [-] activities, I have to be responsible to him."

"Do you understand, Shen Qi?"

He thought that Shen Xi would flee because of this, like every time before.But this time it didn't.

Shen Qi raised his head and met his indifferent gaze impartially, his pupils trembling slightly: "But I was the one who was injured, so you borrowed that little medicine box from the waiter for me." His tone was stubborn and stubborn.

Gu Yan: "..."

He thought a little inappropriately, why didn't I know you were such a logical genius before.

This set is well-founded, and he doesn't know how to refute it.

But in fact, there was nothing to refute.What he said just now was so righteous and high-sounding, as if he really went to the waiter and borrowed the little dog out of his status as the director and his duty as one of the highest responsible persons for the event. medicine chest.

But these are all excuses.In the few seconds of pause before he and Tan Xiaolei went downstairs, he actually didn't think about anything, but the bloody hand stopped in his mind for a long time and couldn't get rid of it for a long time. Just flashed.

But because of the blood in his eyes, he stopped, left Tan Xiaolei and went to the waiter.

During the period of sitting here smoking, Gu Yan also reflected on why he had to do such a thing so extravagantly.

Probably out of habit.

As long as you are deeply involved in something, a certain behavior, or something, you will easily become addicted. For example, if you play too many online games, you will become addicted, if you drink too much alcohol, you will become addicted to alcohol, if you smoke too much, you will become addicted to cigarettes, even mobile phones If you play too much, you will feel inseparable, and if you don't touch it one day, you will find nothing in your heart, like a piece of empty space.

Let alone a person.

He has been in love with Shen Qi for seven whole years, more than 2000 days and nights, and he has long been "addicted" to Shen Qi. He is used to loving him, pampering him, and being kind to him. See each other happy and happy, sad and sad.

These seem to have been deeply rooted in his bones and blood, and have become a habit, an addiction. How can it be possible to change when you say change, and quit when you say quit.

If it was so easy to change, there wouldn't be so many internet-addicted teenagers, alcoholics, and heavy smokers...

So the name "Shen Qi" and this person are Gu Yan's addiction.

Wanting to quit completely does not happen overnight.

And he is probably similar to Shen Qi.Shen Qi is used to life with him, used to him being obedient to himself, and having him to worry about everything for him, once he is changed, it is not so easy to accept it.

Change and withdrawal are always hard.Step by step will still fail, let alone they pull away from each other so suddenly.

But is it difficult not to quit, and let yourself indulge in it?

Of course not.

No matter how difficult and painful the process is, the addiction must be broken.Because it is impossible to live a lifetime with this addiction.

That person is useless.

"Shen Qi, don't be too sentimental, we won't have any possibility anymore."

Shen Qi lowered his eyes, buried his head very low, and didn't make a sound for a long time.Gu Yan thought, this time it's over, is it time to leave?

He even thought that even the stalemate and quarrel with Shen Qi seemed to have become a habit.It can be seen that habit is really a terrible thing.

After a while, Shen Qi really let go of his hand.Gu Yan watched him stand up, stopped his gaze on himself for a moment, then raised his arm, pointing to Tan Xiaolei who was beside him.

There was something inexplicable in Gu Yan's eyes.Tan Xiaolei, who was lying on the bed, was even more dazed.It never occurred to him that he could be dragged into the water just by sitting on the side without saying a word.

This is really...

If before that he still had such unrealistic fantasies about Gu Yan, thinking that he could occupy a place in this person's heart, then after seeing the stalemate between the two with his own eyes, he completely gave up that idea.

He thought that after today, he might really be able to move forward, instead of pretending not to care just to dispel Gu Yan's worries.

But Shen Qi obviously didn't think so, he also regarded Tan Xiaolei as his imaginary enemy: "Then what about him, is it possible for you? Or, we are already together..."

Tan Xiaolei smiled suddenly, his voice was actually very low, but in the serious atmosphere where the three of them were silent and not speaking, the laughter was still so abrupt that both Gu Yan and Shen Qi turned their heads to look at him .

Tan Xiaolei: "..."

--------------------

Shen Qi: I got up.

(There will be another update tonight. There is a scene I like very much. My darlings must watch it, woo woo woo)