cast a peach

Zhao Guangshui didn't know how to answer Tan Mingli.

The woman's words were like a dull hammer, hitting her head in a daze, and it took a long time to come back to her senses, almost at a loss, and murmured:

"Ah...that's pretty good."

"Sister, you..."

She hesitated to speak, but in the end she couldn't help the sadness in her heart, lowered her eyes, and asked softly: "You married your ex-husband at the beginning... Was it because you liked such a person?"

Even when Xiao Shui questioned her, he was so soft, he was reluctant to arm himself sharply, let alone aggressively.

She obviously had many meaner words that could be used to hurt her, but she didn't say a word.

Tan Mingli stared at her quietly, and said, "Yes."

"Then did you ever like him?"

Zhao Guangshui asked in a low voice.

"I liked it."

Tan Mingli admitted truthfully.

"Then do you love him?"

"..."

Tan Mingli was silent.

She knew it was better to say "loved" now, but...

"No."

She answered softly.

As long as there is a little possibility, she is unwilling to say anything against her will in front of Xiao Shui.

"I liked it..."

Tan Mingli added softly, "But when it comes to love, it seems a bit too much."

Before she met Xiaoshui, she didn't know what love was, and she had never experienced the pain of worrying about gains and losses and all kinds of heartaches in love.

It is also because she has never been in love before, and she is not the one who is emotional, so in the previous marriage, she always had a kind of indifference, as if she could leave at any time without hesitation.

That's why Shen Qingzhou is often uneasy, often flattering her unconsciously, never daring to neglect her, and after finally being unable to bear the derailment, Tan Mingli decisively announced the end of the affair, so he asked her so desperately during the divorce, "How are you like this?" A person who never falls in love with anyone."

She also thought that what Shen Qingzhou said was right.

In the dead of night, when the crows and magpies were circling the branches, she couldn't sleep. Looking back on her nearly 30 years of life on the pillow under the desolate moonlight, she only felt a bleak and nothingness, leaving no memories worth cherishing.

She thought that this might be her destiny, and love is not a necessity in life, maybe she is like this, she only knows how to plan step by step, but doesn't know what love is.

But she didn't realize until now——

Tan Mingli took a deep look at Zhao Guangshui, as if he wanted to imprint the girl's face firmly in his heart.

Her eyes couldn't help but feel a little sore, but she quickly lowered her eyelashes, blinked away her tears, and quickly covered up her extremely rare gaffe.

Shen Qingzhou was wrong.He is wrong.

She clearly fell in love with Xiao Shui already.

But she couldn't be with her.

She even wanted to push her away with her own hands.

In this world, is there anything more cruel and heartbreaking and helpless than this?

Zhao Guangshui kept his head down, hugged the pillow, didn't look at her, and missed the deep love and pain in Tan Mingli's eyes when he stared at her.

She just asked gently: "But sister, since you don't love him, why did you marry him?"

She didn't understand, very much.

Isn't marriage such a thing that both parties should love each other very much?

Tan Mingli suppressed the dull pain in her heart, making her tone sound gentle and peaceful.

She said softly: "Xiao Shui... In this world, you don't have to be in love to get married."

"Marriage is just a contract. It involves interests, a game, weighing trade-offs, seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages. It has nothing to do with love."

Tan Mingli lowered her eyelashes and continued, "In other words, love is not a necessity or prerequisite for marriage, it's just a... icing on the cake. Of course it's good to have it, but if not, it doesn't matter too much .”

"The vast majority of marriages in the world are like this. Most people just feel that they are suitable for each other. It is difficult for a person to survive in the world of mortals. Influenced by secular concepts and fear of being alone, they form a community of interests. It’s just a life together. True love is like a ghost in legends, unswerving until death and steadfastness only appear in romance novels that high school students love to read, but rarely appear between wedding rings and white yarns.”

"Whether true love or so-called soul mates are always scarce, I didn't expect that I would be so lucky to meet them."

Tan Mingli rarely spoke so many words in one breath, but she still spoke quietly and gently.

"In this era, everyone longs to be loved, but everyone doesn't want to give love. Most people don't know how to love and be loved throughout their lives. They don't even understand what love is. The division in the middle gives examples of standards and conditions, and I think that if you can do these things, it means love; if you can’t do it, it means that you don’t have enough love. But we all know that’s not the case.”

"Love is rare, Xiao Shui, very rare. I can't choose not to get married because of an illusory thing."

"My grandfather believed that marriage is exploitation and bondage for women, and he was right. If it weren't for some reasons... I don't think I would have entered into marriage either, I would probably be a celibate..."

Having said that, Tan Mingli sighed softly:

"However, I'm not against marriage - if I can get what I want out of it."

"Marriage is a deal and a contract to me. As long as my partner abides by the agreement, I don't go too far, I don't care if there is real love between us. Do you understand?"

Zhao Guangshui understood everything she said.

but--

"I don't know……"

She said softly, "Can you even weigh the pros and cons of this and take advantage of it?"

"..."

Tan Mingli whispered, "For me, yes."

She doesn't care about herself just like she doesn't care about other people, and she herself is within the scope of her calculations.

Zhao Guangshui raised his face, looked directly at her, and asked, "Sister, what if it was me?"

"What will you do if I don't meet someone I like? Do you expect me to marry someone I don't love at all? Even if I don't like him at all?"

There were already tears in her eyes.

Tan Mingli was silent for a moment before saying, "I didn't say that, Xiao Shui..."

"Marriage is never a necessity, everyone has the right to choose freely. If you don't want to get married, that's fine, no problem."

"And if you choose to enter into marriage, it is of course very good to have love. But if unfortunately you don't meet..."

Tan Mingli slowed down a bit, closed his eyes slightly, opened them again, and said softly, "Then marry a well-trained person."

"At least there will be family affection."

She is gentle and calm.

"Sister Pear..."

Zhao Guangshui softly called out the woman's name in a daze, and she looked at Tan Mingli in disbelief, as if she had just met her for the first time.

She bit her lip, choked up and asked in a low voice, "Are you serious?"

The girl knelt on the sofa, holding her hand tightly, even though her eyes were full of tears, she still stubbornly wanted to look directly into her eyes:

"Did you just say the truth? Sister Li? Do you really think so?"

Please, sister pear.

Don't admit it, don't say it, even if you lie to me, as long as it is what you say, I will believe it.

—Don't be so cruel to me, don't be so cruel to me.

Tan Mingli's eyes were also red, she clenched her fingers, her voice trembled, and said softly:

"It's true. I've always thought so."

"Xiao Shui, whether you think I'm too rational or ruthless, I'm just such a person, do you understand? I'm not a noble and perfect person, let alone a fairy who doesn't eat fireworks in the world. I will also stand on the sidelines, in the final analysis, I am just an ordinary person who seeks advantages and avoids disadvantages."

Tan Mingli shed tears, "I... have never been as good as you imagined."

"I just want you to be happy, Xiao Shui."

She gently let go of the girl's cold hand.

"..."

The hands were released.

Zhao Guangshui's face was extremely pale, and he stared blankly at his hands, unable to say a word for a long time.

"I see, Sister Pear."

She already understood what Sister Pear meant.

Zhao Guangshui is not a dull person, on the contrary, she is extremely smart and sensitive. During the conversation just now, she was keenly aware that Sister Li had already sensed her intentions.

She was tactfully hinting at beating her to make her give up.

And Tan Mingli's views on marriage and love just now were so calm and rational that it made her feel cold all over.

Zhao Guangshui sat on the sofa in a daze for a while, got up and left the living room, stopped again in the corridor, without turning around, just turned his back to Tan Mingli, and said softly:

"I will go back to the house my mother arranged for me before the end of the year."

Tan Mingli shuddered all over, and closed her eyes weakly.

She said, "Okay."

"I've really thanked you for taking care of me these past few months... Thank you, Sister Li."

Xiao Shui called her "You".

Tan Mingli's tears wet her clothes, but she was extremely quiet, she didn't make a sound from the beginning to the end, she just shed tears silently.

"It's okay, this is what I should do."

Except for a slight tremor in her voice, it still sounds calm and stable to outsiders, "I am your elder, and Sister Zhihua entrusted you to me. These are my responsibilities."

"Can we still get along like before before I leave your house?"

Zhao Guangshui asked her softly.

"I promise, there won't be any...excessive and transgressive actions, just like when we first met, is that okay? It's not Tan Mingli and Zhao Guangshui, just the children of elders and friends, okay?"

She begged her.

Tan Mingli raised her face, with tears streaming down her chin, she responded softly, "Okay."

Apart from that, she could barely say anything.

After all, she and Xiao Shui have come to this point.

She lost her composure just now, and couldn't help expressing her deepest concepts and thoughts in front of the girl she loved. Xiao Shui was smarter and more sensitive than she imagined, and he understood everything with just a few words.

Originally, in her plan, there was still some time before this step...

Emotional matters have always been blocked rather than sparse. Maybe it was because she had suppressed her feelings for too long that she was in such a mess like today, and the situation was out of control like it is now.

In her mind, this is the next best thing to do.She knew that her decision would definitely make Xiao Shui sad, but she wanted to do her best to make Xiao Shui not too sad, she wanted to take it step by step, and she didn't want to let her understand everything at once.

But this kind of thing, after all, cannot be properly calculated by manpower.What's more, feelings are different from other things. Between her and Xiao Shui, she is no longer an outsider who can be seen by a bystander.

She was too conceited, it was her miscalculation.

"...I made you cry."

Zhao Guangshui still heard her weeping with all her might.

"It's ok."

Tan Mingli was shedding tears, but smiled a little softly, and shook his head gently.

"As you said, once there is a bond between people, it is inevitable that there will always be tears, right?"

"You love me."

Zhao Guangshui said.She used a declarative tone.

"……Yes."

Tan Mingli confessed.

"I love you too."

Zhao Guangshui wiped away the tears rolling down his chin, and said quickly.

"..."

Tan Mingli was silent for a moment, then said softly, "I know."

"Then do you like me?"

Zhao Guangshui's tone was very quiet, as normal and natural as asking how do you think the weather is today, but she was trembling slightly unconsciously, which gave a glimpse of how nervous and restless she was at the moment.

Tan Mingli's throat rolled up and down, and she whispered with difficulty: "Xiao Shui, I'm sorry..."

This is her answer.

Tan Mingli has always been frank, and perhaps the biggest lie in her life was to tell Xiao Shui that she had never been tempted by her.

"When did you know?"

"I don't know when. It's just..."

"It's just me being obvious, right?"

"……Correct."

"Are you going out this afternoon?"

Zhao Guangshui asked her.

"Not going out."

She wanted to stay with Xiaoshui.

"Is it okay?"

Zhao Guangshui asked tactfully.

"It's ok."

She answered in a low voice.

"..."

Zhao Guangshui remained silent for a long time, "So, it's because of me that you..."

Tan Mingli did not answer, and silently admitted her guess.

what……

Zhao Guangshui supported the wall, because her arms were shaking uncontrollably, otherwise she could hardly stand up.

"Actually, I never expected that you would like me, you don't need to be like this..."

Her heart was sore and unbearable, and her voice trembled.

Tan Mingli smiled bitterly and closed his eyes.

she knows.always knew.

"You've always been a good boy. But I...I can't..."

She took a breath and tried her best to continue, "I can't do nothing and just let it go."

"..."

She said let it go.

In Sister Li's heart, her liking for her is just a branch that needs to be cut off, an overflowing pool that needs to be treated, and a mistake that needs to be corrected.

Zhao Guangshui asked softly, "What do you want for lunch?"

"I can do both. How about you?"

"I can do it too."

"So it's the same as yesterday, okay?"

"I'll help you wash the dishes."

"Okay, thank you."

There was silence between the two again, and for a long time, neither of them said anything.

Zhao Guangshui turned around suddenly, and looked at her with clear eyes. Her eyes were dark because she had just cried, and they were as clear and moist as the mountain scenery after the rain.

She looked at Tan Mingli with such eyes.

"Sister Li, do you know? I never thought love was a game."

Tan Mingli was startled, and looked at the girl in a daze.

"I don't like to describe love as a game that needs to be watched and guessed step by step. This is not a chess game, nor a contest. You don't have to think about strategies, weigh the pros and cons, and calculate an optimal solution. I also don't like to distinguish between winners and losers in love. Wrong, comparing who pays more, it seems that whoever is tempted first loses first. Love is not rational by nature, it is just a...very simple thing, like instinct, as natural and ordinary as drinking water and eating, love Without thinking about it, sister."

"If... this is really a game," Zhao Guangshui said softly, "then I will quit."

"With me, you will never lose."