No lights at night

I've been up all night...

In the long night, I plucked up the courage to call Zhitian, but no one answered, and when I called again, someone hung up, and then it turned into a shutdown...

My heart is so painful, so uncomfortable... I don't even know what my feelings for Zhitian are...

I stared at the ceiling with my eyes open and struggled all night. When the light appeared in my room, I suddenly realized that it was already dawn.I can't go on like this, the problem has to be faced all the time, no matter what it feels like, I just know that I want to see Zhitian right now, I want to see him.

I stood at the door of Zhitian's house for a long time, took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Sure enough, the doctor opened the door for me.

"Why are you here!" His tone was provocative, even a little angry.

Damn, what is he angry about, don't care about him!

"Zhi Tian, ​​I want to see Zhi Tian!" I replied angrily.

"Zhi Tian, ​​I will never want to see you again!" After he finished speaking, he tried to close the door, but I blocked it with my arm.

"You fart! Who are you! Why do you make decisions for him!! It's not up to you to care about me and Zhitian!" I wanted to go in, but he stopped me.

He gritted his teeth, his veins were about to pop out, "You're a beast! Get out! Zhitian doesn't want to see you! You tortured him like that last night! You still have the face to see him again! I've never seen you Such people!"

"Torture?" His words made me stunned. I admit that I was a little too aggressive last night, but... it was just an extreme love, how can I call it torture! !

"Have you forgotten the beastly thing you did last night so quickly! Let me tell you, Xiao Zhenglin, Zhi Tian, ​​from today onwards, he is mine! I like him, I don't allow you to have this kind of relationship with him again ! You better get out! Otherwise, I will really call the police!"

After he finished speaking, while I was still in a daze, he closed the door with a bang!

Zhi Tian... it belongs to him, what does it mean... My brain is a little lack of oxygen, I lost my train of thought, Zhi Tian, ​​is he going to separate from me...

I'm driving like crazy, I don't know what I want to do... vent... yes, vent, I don't know what to vent, I know I need to vent!I came to a gay bar and called a few MBs. They told me jokes, kept me happy, and drank with me. Although I laughed and drank happily, I felt that I was not happy at all.

I ordered a MB, I took him to the hotel to get a room, I told him to take a bath, but before he finished washing, I pulled him out of the bathroom, I couldn't wait!He smirked and said I was in a hurry, but I ignored it, I pressed him there and started doing it!

This is the first time I have sex with another man besides Zhi Tian, ​​but before I exert half of my usual strength, the guy below is crying and screaming, still struggling, I slap him On the face, let him be honest, although he did it, but he has been crying and begging for mercy, I asked for it once, and I lost my mood!

When I went to this gay bar the next day, there was no crowd of MBs like yesterday. I was already angry, but now I am annoying everyone!Oh shit!I called the manager and asked him to find me all the MBs who accompanied me yesterday!I, Xiao Zhenglin, am a respectable person here. Anyone who offends me knows what will happen. The manager dare not neglect. After a while, all those MBs have arrived in my private room.

They stood there in rows, trembling!I was wondering, I haven't gotten angry yet, it's like I want to kill them!Fuck me!I opened a bottle of wine and drank it myself.

"Where was the one who went out with me last night?" I asked while drinking.

"I asked for leave..., no... I didn't come," one person replied.

I put down my glass and stare at them. "Yesterday was fine, what happened today! I, Xiao Zhenglin, are so scary! Damn it! I look like a little daughter-in-law, who can show me!"

The person who spoke just now said again, "Lin...Brother Lin...do you want to hear the truth?"

I dropped my wine glass, "Damn it, say what you have to say, and let go of your fart! If you beat me up again, I'll fucking smash your shop!"

The MB was so frightened that he knelt down on the ground.

"Brother Lin... please forgive us, we are just asking for money, we haven't thought of putting our lives on it yet"

The kid was talking, still shaking, but I couldn't understand what he was saying.

"That last night...he was bleeding badly from you last night, so he asked for leave today"

"Fart, isn't it normal to bleed! Who can't bleed! Every time my mother... fucks with Zhi, I bleed! You are so fucking delicate and expensive!" I almost said to Zhitian just now It came out, but it was still closed.

Just after I said this, all the MBs looked at me in unison, their eyes full of horror.What did I just say wrong? !

"Brother Lin...you...didn't you mean it?! Every time there is blood?! How could MB dare to play like that! If this blood really bleeds, he won't be able to get out of bed for at least a few days! We all Those who rely on food are carefully protected! In fact, even if they don’t bleed, it’s a terrible pain. Let me tell you the truth, the one you just mentioned, you played with him to bleed, and he will accompany you when you order him Play?? If this is the case, then he is really a master who wants money and life, at least no one here dares to play like this..."

What is he saying... hurts?How can it be?Isn't that all very comfortable?Isn't he just as comfortable as me?How can it hurt?

"...Isn't that...you...are you fucking comfortable too!!" I said in embarrassment.

Another MB spoke up, "Brother Lin, to tell you the truth, we... have never felt comfortable, anyway, doing it every night, besides the pain, it still hurts, just like the kind of bleeding you just said, it's similar to skin peeling, We are all in the job of serving people, mainly for the comfort of big men like you, we are still doing it for money..."

Peeling... skin peeling... what skin peeling... is it really that painful?I suddenly remembered that MB's cry last night, his voice was hoarse, he was not pretending, he was really in pain... Then, that... Zhitian, he was also in pain all the time...

But why didn't he make a sound, I told him not to make a sound, but if it hurts so much... is he just... enduring it?

Then why don't you tell me, I... I thought he was just as comfortable as me...

I blasted all these MBs out!My mind went blank!Zhi Tian has been enduring...he has been in pain? ...

I suddenly remembered that after finishing the work, he asked for leave in the morning and didn't come to the meeting, and I forced him to come. Could it be that he couldn't get out of bed?Why didn't he tell me... Later, when I thought about it, whenever I was very aggressive, he didn't seem to come to the gang the next day. I never noticed it before... Then... why is it so painful, and I still have to talk to him i do...why...

I can't help thinking about it, I want to see Zhitian, I don't believe what those MBs said are true, if so... Wouldn't I be torturing Zhitian every time, but I am still immersed in it, unable to extricate myself... ...I don't want to believe...I don't believe it

When I drove the car to the gate of Zhitian's community, I saw Zhitian was with that doctor...

I lost my courage for a moment, because...Zhi Tian walked really unnaturally, and the doctor was still supporting him...

Could it be that these... are really caused by me...

I saw that doctor was holding a lot of vegetables in one hand, he was talking to Zhitian with a smile, Zhitian walked very slowly, but he was also chatting with him with a smile... Zhitian's smile is so dazzling, I haven't seen it for a long time seen...

Are they...really together...

No, Zhi Tian told me, they are just ordinary friends... no...

Zhi Tian, ​​why didn't you tell me that I have been hurting you all this time...

If that's the case...my madness that night...how can I face him in the future

I feel like a fool. At this moment, there is a stone that hits my heart so hard, it hurts...