no hate

Under the eyes of people admiring and pitying, Xi Zibai, who had been trembling in the cold wind, did not seek warmth from anyone this time. Wrapped in thin white clothes, she kept walking in the dark for a long time. After a long journey, from the noisy downtown to the silent alleys, until she reached the outskirts of the city, she felt that her whole soul seemed to have drifted away from her shell. She stood in front of a small tombstone, stretched out The hand that had no temperature touched the cold stone tablet...

There are only four characters on the lonely stone tablet, which are crookedly carved, and it seems that people who can't write very well messed it up...

Yushu's Tomb...

Bai Yuan leaned against the tombstone and murmured to herself, "Apart from me, has anyone else come to see you? You were miserable in your previous life, but I made your fate even more miserable. Why don't you admit it, so he won't accept it?" will take you..."

"I'm sorry... I'm really sorry..." Her voice choked up, and her emotions became agitated, "But I don't know what to do is right. I killed you in vain, and I can't avenge you. Lungs, ruthless and ungrateful..."

"I'm sorry for too many people, I'm sorry for the handsome, I'm sorry for you, I'm sorry for Jian Rong, I'm sorry for Xiang Wan, I'm sorry for the child who was killed before I was born...I..."

The outstanding appearance looks optimistic, carefree and carefree. It does not mean that she has never had a shadow in her life. At the age of 15, she was taken by Zhang Zuolin because of her golden voice. In the indulgence and extravagance of games without a bottom line, she became addicted to opium and became a drug addict. After being abused and beaten, and after the fall of the Northeast, she was directly given by Zhang Shaoshuai to some Japanese people who love to have fun. She really wanted to start from scratch and have a happy life of a normal person. She quit opium like a layer of skin was peeled off. Use her whole life to repay Tang Xiangwan. She and Tang Xiangwan had a child, but it was buried in the hands of Shi Liu, whom she trusted and took as a close friend. The area and gang under Shi Liu's current jurisdiction were once his. The fifth elder brother Sui Cheng was in charge. At that time, he and Sui Cheng had a big disagreement. In addition, one mountain could not accommodate two tigers, and his ambition was haunting him. He tried every means to get rid of Sui Cheng. The two were sworn brothers, so he would inevitably attract criticism. So I tried to borrow other people's hands. Sui Cheng, like him, was born in the Qing Dynasty and preferred to listen to operas. He was not only a fan of Bai Yuan's operas, but also tried to fantasize about her. Someone drugged Bai Yuan into the wine, sent Bai Yuan to Sui Cheng's room, and sent someone to inform Tang Xiangwan that Sui Cheng was going to do something wrong to Bai Yuan, but he didn't expect that Bai Yuan She was pregnant at that time, and Sui Cheng caused her to lose the child directly. When Tang Xiangwan rushed in with someone, he only saw Bai Yuan's pale face and blood stains on the bed. In a rage, he shot her to death. Lost Sui Cheng...

Bai Yuan didn't know about these things. She and Tang Xiangwan were being used and kept in the dark. She just thought it was because she loved to play and mistook a traitor as a friend, and Shi Liu added fuel to the flames and only cared about herself. Benefits, it's just that he didn't come to the rescue in time... And Yushu only realized the dirty things after hearing what Shi Liu and his subordinates explained by accident. Shi Liu was cruel by nature, and he knew best the torture that devastated his conscience. Yu Shu was like being tortured to death by Ling Chi, and then his limbs were liberated in a sack and sent to actor Bai...

How shocking that scene was, Bai Yuan still remembers it to this day, and sometimes wakes up in a dream...

What Shi Liu said was right, Yu Shu really had feelings for her, but Shi Liu knew the truth, but kept interrogating her under the pretext of revealing her adultery, and she never uttered the actor Bai's name until she died...

This memory was too unpleasant, and it completely cut off the actor Bai's thoughts about having anything to do with men in his life, except for Tang Xiang who had been comforting her by her bed and going out with her every day after her miscarriage. Night…

The tribulations of life and death are like this...

After sitting for a while, Bai Yuan walked back to the Tang Mansion in a daze. Lao Cheng and Lu Lu waited for her on the first floor. When they saw her come back, they wished to thank God and thank their ancestors. Seeing her pale and colorless cheeks were also frightening. No way, wrap her body with blankets layer by layer, put the charcoal stove at her feet, Lulu made hot tea, put the tea cup into her hand, let her hold it to keep warm, actor Bai didn't speak , has been curled up on the sofa in a daze, but consciously sober, the old pendulum clock kept shaking her head and sighing, Xiao Luo's words are still echoing in her mind today, she seems to understand something, maybe like her and Yu Shu Such a woman has no culture and scheming. In this age, she can only be used as a pawn, used, manipulated, forever and ever...

Her nose was a bit blocked, and she asked in a strong nasal voice, "Lulu, where does your brother study?"

"There's a private elementary school right there in Chunhui Corridor. Ma'am, what's the matter?" Lulu was a little surprised. She worked in the Tang family, and most of her income was used for her younger brother's education.

"Oh... take me to see it tomorrow" After Xi Zibai said this, he stopped talking and leaned on the sofa by himself, and slowly fell asleep.

Lulu can't laugh or cry, wife is going to study?She would rather believe that his wife wanted to eat books... She just thought that she had a problem again today and was talking nonsense, but Lulu didn't take it seriously, added a quilt and blanket for her, and went to rest...

Unexpectedly, before Lulu opened her eyes the next morning, she was woken up by the actor wrapped in a blanket...

Lulu looked sleepy, "Ma'am? What's the matter?"

"Get up, wash up, and send me to study." Although she was listless, the light in her eyes was firm...

Just like that, the sky was still bright, and Lao Cheng who hadn’t woken up was also shaken awake. He drove Xizibai, under the guidance of Lulu, to a private elementary school that was considered extravagant at the time. The private school here is much superior. Most of the children walk in pairs, most of them are noble children. They sit in front of the desks and wait for the teacher. The appearance of actor Bai scared many children, thinking it was a new The teacher, she passed through those fearful eyes, moved a chair honestly, and sat quietly in the last row of the classroom, her expression was unprecedentedly serious. The domestic servant was by his side, thinking that someone from his superiors had come to inspect the class, and he was very careful during his lectures, for fear of saying something wrong. In this way, after simply observing the class for a day, Xi Zibai negotiated with the principal of this elementary school. After obtaining the right to attend classes in this elementary school, Lao Cheng carried a tall stack of textbooks, staggered them into the car, and drove them home. Afterwards, Xie Zibai insisted on getting up early and running in the morning to practice exercises every day. There was also an additional task of reading poems aloud. Apart from going to school, she spent all she could do in Tang Xiangwan's study with the lamp on, reading books day and night...

She was in the study, day after day, as if she had forgotten the time. One day she was holding a pen, and heard the deafening sound of firecrackers outside. She opened the heavy curtains, wore a plain cheongsam, and hugged her thin arms , the fireworks piercing the night sky lit up her simple and delicate face, and she suddenly realized that the new year had passed, this year, it was not like a new year, there were no red paper-cuts, no person who kept the year, and no Tang Xiangwan holding her Her hand made her laugh, she was kind, she let Lulu and Lao Cheng go home to spend time with their families, and she was the only one left. There were gifts from various families downstairs, and special subsidies from the government for military families. She was polite The others were picked up and piled up there, with no energy to take care of them.

The turbulent years have always passed quickly. She kept hearing all kinds of news from the front. Two months later, the weather gradually warmed up.

When you get used to something, you will always only think of the first day as yesterday, and that evening, she was lying in a book with a pungent printing smell, falling asleep, and felt a pair of rough hands, touch your face...

She opened her eyes dimly, and saw a man covered in dust, bent over, with a doting smile on his face, his skin was a little tanned by the war, his lips and chin were covered with blue beard Cha, a pair of piercing eyes, slightly tired...

"You're back..." She was still lying on the book, stretched out her hand, and stroked the man's thick eyebrows. "It's nice to be alive."

"You're back too." Tang Xiangwan took off his military cap, and he was full of heroism. "You scared me, I thought you lost it..."

"Wars are not fun." She closed her eyes again. "I hate fighting and fear death, but I found that if compared with reading, I would rather choose the first two..."

"What are you talking about?" Tang Xiangwan obviously didn't understand what she meant. "As soon as I came back, I heard from Lulu that you were in the study and the sun came out from the west. I thought you missed me so much that you became stupid."

"Well, it's really a bit silly." Bai Yuan stood up and twisted her stiff neck. She straightened the hair that had piled up under her neck, and hugged Tang Xiangwan directly, and said softly, "Xiangwan, let's try again." Okay…"

"Try what?" Tang Xiangwan asked gently, stroking her thin back.

"Child..." She knew that this was not a matter of her own willingness. They had experienced loss together, and she was also one of the culprits who hurt him...

"..." Tang Xiangwan really didn't expect Bai Yuan to take the initiative to bring up this matter again. Although he now has his own way of life, it is difficult to ride a tiger, but it is also true that he likes children and longs to return to an ordinary life...

War will make playful people learn to cherish, and it will also make selfish people selfless. It is not easy for Xiaobai to make this decision again...

There was a long silence... He sighed, picked up Bai Yuan sideways, and left the study...

Tang Xiangwan came back just in time. After the two woke up the next day, before they had finished their breakfast, an invitation from the Jing family was delivered to Tang Xiangwan. He understood what was going on, opened it and glanced at it. , handed it to Bai Yuan who was opposite without looking carefully...

The Jing family specially waited for Jing Yuan to return safely from the front line to hold a happy event. Although Jing Yuan was seriously injured on the battlefield, he was still recuperating in the hospital at this time. It can't be delayed, and it can be used against bad luck. Mayor Pan can't wait to marry Jing Luo, the "flirtatious" lily, home immediately. He doesn't want to wait for a day. The names of the two on the invitation are written by everyone in calligraphy. , flamboyant, very extravagant, it seems that a lot of thought has been put into it, the actor raised his head and drank all the milk, threw the invitation on the dining table, turned around and prepared to go to elementary school to attend classes...

This weekend, at Tianmen Church…

"Xiaobai, are you going?" Tang Xiangwan stopped her with his mouth full of bread and curiosity on his handsome face.

"Of course, I'll talk about it in the evening. I'm going to class first." After that, Bai Yuan walked out of the gate with her handbag on her shoulders, and boarded the car that had already started at the gate.

Xiao Luo got married, and the next step was to have a child. After going through a woman's ordinary life, she only took it as a matter of course and had nothing to do with her... Although Tang Xiangwan, who firmly believed that the relationship between them was ambiguous, was not He thought so, but what he didn't believe even more was Bai Yuan's abnormal behavior recently...

At the beginning, I heard Lulu say that she was obsessed with reading and literacy, and almost laughed Tang Xiangwan's big teeth. I thought she was hot for another 3 minutes, and when the novelty was gone, she would naturally return to her original appearance. It seems that she is still addicted, and it has been like a day for many days. Tang Xiangwan looks at her so well-behaved, and really feels a little bit of hell...

Tang Xiangwan didn't know what happened to her during this period of time. Seeing that Xiaobai didn't say anything, he didn't ask any more questions. Maybe he never thought that Xiaobai once led soldiers to fight against his camp. , Going around at all kinds of life and death junctures before he can return home safe and sound, and wait for him to come back...

The Chinese army suffered heavy losses in this encirclement and suppression battle. In the short term, there should be no more active attacks. The 40 well-equipped army will lose to the guerrilla Red Army with Xiaomi B guns in the mountains. It is really a blow to the government. In addition, the Japanese have fully occupied the Northeast and are gradually expanding inland. The power struggle within the party is chaotic, and the domestic situation has become more and more severe...

However, this does not affect the indulgence and enjoyment of the high-level national army. The Tianmen Church on weekends is huge and full of guests. Most of them are brightly dressed, with luxurious dresses, suits and leather shoes. Mixed with flavors, a bourgeois grand event was staged, and the venue was completely under martial law, and armed forces were patrolling. After all, most of them were senior generals and major leaders, so we must always increase our vigilance.

There are really a lot of people in the church, and Bai Yuan's seat is not conspicuous...

She sat next to Tang Xiangwan, and changed into a white dress she was not used to. Almost her entire beautiful back was exposed, and the butterfly bone was concaved into a perfect arc. She also put on gloves and a top hat, perhaps just to make her more comfortable. It’s good to cover herself up, just like that, in the Western music that she is not used to, she saw the church door slowly opened, looking at Xiao Luo’s white wedding dress, with a smart and playful aura, like an angel, never Passing by in the distance, he walked to Mayor Pan's side and handed him his hand...

Bai Yuan stretched her slender neck, watching the whole process seriously, she looked at Xiao Luo's happy smiling face, she felt at ease as an outsider, no matter how many times the woman on the stage had cried in front of her and refused to leave ...Maybe she was really too focused, so she didn't see it. In the same row, there was an eye-catching woman who turned her sharp and cold profile, and passed through the crowd with her emotionless eyes. Hai, amid the applause for others, looked at himself...