paranoid dependence

Shen Nian no longer thought that Gu Zhi would come to him one day, at least not in this way.

The first time I received a call from a strange person was on a weekend. It was rare for Shen Nian to go out to go shopping in the supermarket. It was not far from where I lived, so I didn't ride a bicycle. I just walked into the community and called. I thought it was the parent of some student.

He answered, but there was no sound on the other end.

"Hello?" Shen Nian checked again, but there was still no sound, so he didn't care, thinking he made a wrong call, so he hung up the phone.

The second time was when he was about to go out in the morning, the phone rang as soon as he walked out of the unit building, the same number, but there was still no sound after answering, Shen Nian hung up the phone again.

The third time was on a thunderstorm day, when the class was about to start, he was leaning on the railing outside the classroom and thinking wildly, when a phone call came in so suddenly, Shen Nian looked at the number, he should hang up, But at this time, a thunderbolt fell from the sky, so that he picked it up inexplicably. The other party still didn't make a sound, but occasionally he could hear a few heavy breathing.

The class bell rang, Shen Nian walked into the classroom, hesitated for a while and put the phone on the phone in a corner of the podium, when the class was over, the rain just stopped, Shen Nian picked up the phone and took a look, the call time was 47:23 Second.

This time, Shen Nian remembered the phone number.

Calls don't come in often, even if they do, there is no pattern at all, sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the middle of the night, every time Shen Nian answers, and the other party doesn't speak, he doesn't speak, and then hangs up.

He thought that the other party would never speak, but he didn't expect that today, because of a blind date that he didn't know in advance, he would open his mouth.

"Do you like it?" He asked himself on the phone: "The woman on the blind date just now, and the child in front of me, do you like it?"

The voice was a little strange, but Shen Nian became agitated inexplicably. In front of him was the crowd dancing in the square. He raised his eyes and scanned the surroundings. He didn't see any suspicious people, and he didn't even see anyone on the phone. .

But he clearly heard the music of the square dance on the receiver of the mobile phone, and this person was beside him, watching his every move.

Shen Nian walked into the community, and passed by two girls, when he passed by, he could feel their eyes resting on his face, Shen Nian didn't care, and continued to walk forward.

"Did you know? When you are walking on the street, many people look back at you, and they even want to go up to you and ask you for a phone number."

"Why do you look like this." The man said unhappily, "Why do so many people look at you, the way they look at you really makes me so unhappy, I want to dig out their eyes, Want to make everyone who looks at you blind!"

"Look, how nice I am to you." The man softened his tone, with a hint of coaxing: "Even though I don't like people looking at you, I would rather make them blind than lock you up. "

He seemed to be stuck in his own world, the more he talked, the more crazy he became, and Shen Nian became more and more nervous. He stopped briefly and looked around, but he couldn't see a suspicious person.

"Are you looking for me?" The man smiled and asked, "It's been a month, do you want to see me?"

When Shen Nian heard this sentence, the elevator door had just opened and was about to go in, when he heard this, he paused.

"After we meet, I'll tell you what my purpose is and what I want to do to you, okay?"

"I really... really can't help but appear in front of you."

After the phone was hung up, Shen Nian walked into the elevator, only then did he notice a thin layer of sweat on his palms, but he clearly realized that he was not afraid, he was even vaguely looking forward to something.

It's one thing to look forward to it, it's quite another to feel the breath of another person when you open a door with a key in the dark.

"I'm here to see you." When another voice sounded behind him, Shen Nian was still scared because he couldn't make sure that the person behind him was the one he was expecting, until he softly called out, "Nian Nian, Long time no see." Only then did Shen Nian let go of all his defenses.

It's him.

Apart from Gu Zhi, no one in this world calls himself Nian Nian.

At this moment, he hugged himself vainly in the dark, and asked himself in a joking tone if he missed him and if he would go in, Shen Nian only felt like he was dreaming.

But this dream was too real, so real that he could feel Gu Zhi's heartbeat and body temperature, but for some reason, the body temperature of the child who always kept him warm 8 years ago was so cold, it was a bit abnormal.

"Let go of me first." Shen Nian recovered his voice: "I'll pick up the key."

"Okay." Gu Zhi said with a smile and took a step back, Shen Nian knelt down silently for a few seconds, touched the key dropped by his feet, and opened the door.

At dusk, the light in the house was very dark, Shen Nian turned on the light, and conveniently put the key on the shoe cabinet at the entrance, looking at the only pair of house slippers in front of him, he simply didn't change it.

"Come in directly." Shen Nian said.

He stepped into the house without looking back at Gu Zhi. Gu Zhi stood at the entrance and looked at everything curiously as if he had entered the small courtyard of the Shen family for the first time. It was somewhat familiar. The interior layout was still the Shen Nian style he was familiar with, clean and clean. Tidy as a model room.

There was only a pair of slippers in front of him, which were neatly placed in front of the floor mat. Gu Zhi opened the shoe cabinet and took a look. There were only a few pairs of going out shoes.

He is the only one here, no one else has been here.

Gu Zhi laughed, put on Shen Nian's pair of slippers and entered the house.

From the moment Gu Zhi appeared, Shen Nian was in an extremely unreal state. From the dark corridor to the bright room, he didn't even look back at Gu Zhi, he always felt that this person disappeared when he looked back. , everything is nothing but a recurrence of old illness, an illusion.

"Is Nian Nian okay all these years?" Gu Zhi asked him aloud, until now Shen Nian had a little sense of reality.

Gu Zhi in the hallucination has always looked like he was fifteen or sixteen years old, and he would not talk to him in an adult manner, let alone ask him how he was doing.

Shen Nian was inexplicably relieved, he didn't know if it was because he didn't get sick again, or because of Gu Zhi, he stood in the restaurant and poured a glass of water and turned around to pass it to Gu Zhi, but when he turned around, he froze on the spot , Even the water glass in his hand almost fell to the ground.

He looked at the man in front of him in amazement, almost unrecognizable.

In the corridor just now, the light could only see an outline, and Shen Nian only concluded that this person was Gu Zhi through a "Nian Nian", but now, all the details were exposed under the light, and he noticed the figure in front of him. Gu Zhi had silver hair all over his head.

Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian, noticed his gaze, and laughed:

"Does it look good?"

"Dye it?" Shen Nian heard his own voice trembling.

"Yes." Gu Zhi looked at him with a smile: "Otherwise?"

Hearing this, Shen Nian slowly relaxed, and looked at the familiar yet unfamiliar person in front of him. When he hugged him outside the door just now, Shen Nian knew that he was already much taller than him, but he didn't expect Gu Zhi to be so thin , being thin makes people think that he has suffered a lot.

Is he having a bad day?Then he these years...

"Give it to me?" Gu Zhi interrupted Shen Nian's thoughts, pointed to the water glass in his hand, Shen Nian looked down at the sound, walked over and handed it to him: "There is nothing else to drink at home."

Gu Zhi took it, and his fingers touched Shen Nian's, maybe it was because he had held the hot water for too long, so that his fingertips were very hot, which formed a sharp contrast with his own coolness.

But he likes this kind of warmth very much.

"Thank you." Gu Zhi said.

Shen Nian glanced at him unexpectedly, but didn't say anything, since they were separated by eight years, it's normal for strangers to be polite.

When she once thought that Gu Zhi would come to find her, Shen Nian thought about what it would be like to meet again countless times. She didn't care, or it was earth-shattering, or caught off guard, but there was no imagination like this one. In an evening, the two people are calm Sitting on the sofa in the living room drinking water.

They parted vigorously, but they were able to be so calm when they met.

Even Shen Nian was surprised.

Perhaps because of growing up, Shen Nian felt that Gu Zhi was silent a lot, this kind of silence was not in words, it was his whole body that fell silent, sitting there very quietly, gently swirling the glass of water in front of him.

Shen Nian sized him up for a long time, his silver hair and white eyes always attracted his attention, he didn't know why Gu Zhi dyed his hair, this behavior seemed to be inconsistent with Gu Zhi's temperament now.But thinking about it, his appearance at this moment is also different from the almost crazy him on the phone just now.

Shen Nian didn't know which one was the real him now.

In fact, it's not just Gu Zhi's hair, his skin is also much paler than it was 8 years ago. It seems to be a kind of morbid whiteness that has not seen the sun all year round. Why is it so?

"How have you been these years?" Gu Zhi looked up at him, with a just-right smile on his lips, interrupting his thoughts.

Shen Nian moved his eyes from his hair to his eyes, and nodded: "It's okay."

After a few seconds, he replied, "What about you?"

"I'm not good." Gu Zhi said.

Shen Nian didn't speak, but her heart seemed to be tightly clenched by something.

"I'm sorry..." Apart from this sentence, Shen Nian didn't seem to know what to say, although he also felt that these three words were the most useless after being hurt.

"I lied to you." Gu Zhi laughed, "Why do you take it seriously? I'm fine."

It seems that most long-distance reunions are like this. After a brief greeting and politeness, they will fall into an awkward silence, and they are not immune to it.

When Gu Zhi was by my side many years ago, the two of them had never had such an atmosphere. Even if they just stayed and said nothing, it was comfortable and comfortable. Accidentally broke something.

"When did you come here?" I couldn't keep silent, Shen Nian spoke after a short silence.

"It's been a month." Gu Zhi still looked at the glass of water, wondering what he was thinking.

"Why did you come to me now?"

"Because I didn't make up my mind." Gu Zhi looked up at him, "I didn't make up my mind to see you, or...to collect debts from you."

He had a smile on his face when he said this, but in an instant, the smile became a little sinister and a little fierce, so he seemed to overlap with the one on the phone.

Shen Nian noticed the change in him, but didn't feel horrible. For some reason, they hadn't seen each other for eight years, and they had no contact during that time. Many habits, including their personalities, might have completely changed. It doesn't matter if they were strangers. It's not an exaggeration, but Shen Nian just believes that no matter what the person in front of him looks like, he won't hurt him.

"Niannian owes me, admit it?" Gu Zhi raised his eyebrows and asked him.

Shen Nian was silent for a few seconds, then nodded: "Admit."

"Then what is Nian Nian going to pay back?" Gu Zhi looked at him with a half-smile.

Shen Nian fell silent, he didn't know how to answer this question, he didn't seem to have anything to pay back, and Gu Zhi didn't seem to need those at all.

Before Shen Nian could reply, Gu Zhi stood up with a smile, walked over and stood behind Shen Nian, bent slightly, and put his arms on the back of Shen Nian's sitting, so close that he stretched out. You can touch Shen Nian's hair with straight fingers, Gu Zhi did the same, hooked a strand of hair with his index finger and pinched it gently with his fingertips.

Shen Nian subconsciously wanted to get up, but was pushed back by Gu Zhi with the other hand.

"Can't think of it? Let me tell you, okay?"

He was talking on his own head, the sense of oppression increased hundreds of times, and Shen Nian felt scalp numb when he was playing with that strand of hair, but he didn't move any more, and waited quietly.

"Did Niannian go on summer vacation? You don't have to go to school anymore. You don't have many friends here. You are a loner, so even if you disappear for two months, no one will find out, right?"

"Shall I hide you? Just the two of us..." Gu Zhi lowered his head slightly and moved closer to him, his voice rang in Shen Nian's ear, coaxing: "Be good, what do I ask you to do?" Just do what you want and listen to me, if you behave well enough, I will let you go after two months and write it off, okay?"

"What are you shaking?" Gu Zhi laughed: "Afraid or nervous? Or...excited?"

"Gu Zhi..."

"Hush—" Shen Nian's words were interrupted by Gu Zhi as soon as he spoke, he gave up the lock of hair and touched his head instead, like comforting a child, like what Shen Nian did to him many years ago: " Don't be afraid, and don't worry about some things you won't be able to do, or don't want to do, it's okay, because I will force you to do it in various ways..."

It was at this moment that the phone rang. Shen Nian got up from the sofa almost as if grabbing a life-saving straw, walked to the restaurant and picked up the phone. He straightened his body, and the madness in his eyes gradually disappeared, but his hands were still trembling, and he held them tightly.

Shen Nian answered the phone with his back turned to him, Gu Zhi didn't know who the other party was, but he already clearly felt that he was upset, he couldn't stay any longer, he had to go.

"Okay, send me the location." Shen Nian's tone was a little helpless: "Okay, I'll be there right away."

The phone had just ended the call, and before Shen Nian was even ready to turn around and face Gu Zhi again, there was a sudden wind blowing from behind him, and before he had time to turn around to see what was going on, he was hit by someone with his neck stuck The wall next to it, and then the back was also squeezed by someone's chest, Shen Nian was almost out of breath.

"Brother Niannian, who are you going to see so late?" Gu Zhi asked him with a cold voice in his ear, like a ferocious beast, about to open his mouth to eat in the next second: "Who is he to you?"