paranoid dependence

It was the first time Gu Zhi encountered such a thing. At first he thought he was wetting the bed, but he cursed secretly and opened it to take a look and found that it was not, instead it was sticky.

Although it was the first time it happened, Gu Zhi knew what was going on, he just didn't expect that he would have such an urge because he wanted to do that kind of thing to Shen Nian in his dream.

Surprise is certain, but Gu Zhi was not flustered or resisted, even thinking of the dream just now, he still felt a little regretful that he didn't touch it.

Gu Zhi turned his head to take a peek at Shen Nian, but unfortunately Shen Nian's back was facing him, he could only see the back of Shen Nian's head and one ear that was so white that it shone through.

He realized that his liking for Shen Nian started to be different. He also liked it very much before, but that kind of liking was that he wanted to take care of him, accompany him, think about him, and was willing to do anything just to make him happy. The difference now does not make the original liking disappear, but adds something else.

I want to be closer to him, closer to him, want to be closer to him, and closer.It would be great if Shen Nian felt the same about herself.

It wasn't because of a dream that he had this feeling all of a sudden, he had it a long time ago, ever since he came back to ask Shen Chongshan what he had said to Shen Nian, and found Shen Nian and Tang Yi together in the classroom At that time, Gu Zhi thought so. He vaguely knew that he also wanted to be like Tang Yi, wanted to get close to Shen Nian in front of everyone, and wanted to be the object of their gossip, but Shen Nian told him that day, no, boys and boys It can't be like that.

So he obeyed, he suppressed it, thinking that it was wrong, shouldn't be, and Shen Nian didn't allow it.

But Shen Chongshan's relics told him that it is possible. Boys can also like men, and they can also fall in love. It is probably from that time that some of the feelings he suppressed showed signs of being ready to move, and seeing Shen Nian's body yesterday, helped His change of clothes became an opportunity to break ground, so that he grew wildly in his dream.

He wanted to like Shen Nian, wanted to fall in love with Shen Nian, and wanted to get closer to him.

But he didn't dare to say, at least dare to say at this time, this is not a good time, all his emotions are now on Shen Chongshan's death, he just wants to be good, and doesn't want to use other things to bother him.

Gu Zhi also remembered what Liang Qiu said to him for a moment. He told himself not to put pressure on Shen Nian. At that time, he didn't know what Liang Qiu meant, but now he understands. What's coming?Why are the eyes so thieves?It's just that he can see it all, so what about Nian Nian?Did Nian Nian also see it?

should not.Otherwise, it would not be the current reaction.

Although he didn't know too much about boys dating Gu Zhi, but he didn't let himself think too much at this time, the sound of waking him up continued from time to time outside the room, even if it didn't continue, he still had to get up and go Changed clothes, otherwise when Shen Nian woke up and saw his pants, he might misunderstand.

It was only Gu Zhi who moved cautiously, and Shen Nian, who was sleeping next to him, woke up. Gu Zhi was stunned for a moment and immediately lifted the quilt and got out of bed and walked towards the door, but the moment he opened the door, he saw Liang Qiu in the living room. , and closed reflexively.

She didn't want Shen Nian to see it, and she didn't want Liang Qiu to see it.

The sound that woke me up just now was made by Liang Qiu, right?Walking wobbly wine still not sober?

"What's wrong with you?" Shen Nian asked while changing from a sideways position to lying flat, but just after lying down, he realized something was wrong, and touched his back with his hand, it was wet.

Shen Nian frowned slightly, thinking that he was drunk and made a fool of himself, his face turned red instantly, almost subconsciously, he wanted to find an excuse to let Gu Zhi go out so that he could change his clothes and make a bed, but when the words reached his lips, he didn't say it and realized It's not right, it doesn't seem to be bedwetting, the pants are only wet a little, and the sheets are not wet.

Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi, seeing him standing there covering the place with both hands, dodging and not daring to look at him, Shen Nian understood a little bit.

The usual position they used to sleep together, if Gu Zhi really has something, it's really normal for him to be stained.

Never encountered such a thing, somewhat embarrassing.

But staying silent would only make it more embarrassing.

"Go change a pair of pants and wash them." Shen Nian sat up and prepared to change clothes.

Gu Zhi did feel a little embarrassed just now, but he suddenly felt less cramped when he heard Shen Nian say that, and even walked over and sat down by the bed, asking him:

"Did Nian Nian do this too? When?"

Shen Nian looked at his generous appearance without even covering it up, she didn't quite understand how he changed so much in an instant, but it was pretty good, it squeezed out the last bit of embarrassment in the air , if they can stop discussing the issue.

"No." Shen Nian said, wondering if it was because the distance was too close, and Gu Zhi hadn't changed his pants, so there was a faint smell in the air.

"No?" Gu Zhi was very surprised: "Nian Nian is two years older than me, why hasn't he passed?"

He is two years older and knows what puberty is all about, but he doesn't know whether it's a natural indifference or a developmental delay. He really doesn't have any special urges, never once.

"I really haven't." Shen Nian said as he got out of bed, left the strong-smelling encirclement, and walked towards the closet. It was only at this time that Gu Zhi realized that he had wet Nian Nian too, and their sleeping positions were close to each other. Thinking, his panties were all wet, it's not surprising that Nian Nian's trousers were wet, but as long as he thought about how wet it was, Gu Zhi felt his head was bombarded by something, and something felt uncontrollably pouring down. By the time he realized something, the tent had already been pitched.

This was the first time that Gu Zhi had such a clear reaction when he was awake, he lowered his eyes a little curiously, and even lifted up the waistband of his trousers to look in.

Shen Nian came out with a change of clothes, wanted to ask Gu Zhi to close his eyes and turned around when he saw this scene.

Shen Nian: "..."

Not wanting to disturb him, Shen Nian was about to look away in embarrassment but met Gu Zhi who raised his head.

This kind of thing, naturally the one who reacts is more embarrassing, Gu Zhi is no exception, so he subconsciously pulled the towel and was brought over to cover himself, Shen Nian's expression changed from embarrassment to a little helpless:

"...you covered yourself with a quilt before you changed your trousers?"

Gu Zhi also felt that it was inappropriate, but it was too late, so he had no choice but to bite the bullet and say, "I'll wash it later."

The cover has already been covered, and it's useless to say anything else, Shen Nian ignored him and asked Gu Zhi to close his eyes and start changing clothes, Gu Zhi really didn't dare to look again, he couldn't stand it just thinking about it.

Shen Nian was changing clothes, Gu Zhi was trying to calm himself down, and then remembered that after waking up, he still had questions and didn't ask Shen Nian about the quality of his sleep last night.

"Nian Nian." Gu Zhi closed his eyes and said, "Did you have a nightmare last night?"

Shen Nian's movement of changing clothes paused for a moment because of this sentence, he subconsciously resisted the nightmare, but after thinking about it carefully last night, he didn't seem to have a dream.

"No." Shen Nian said.

"Really?" Gu Zhi opened his eyes in surprise, and saw Shen Nian pulling up his trousers, but he didn't think about that any more, Shen Nian had a good night's sleep and didn't have a nightmare, which made Gu Zhi feel better. Feeling happy, he got up and walked over to stand in front of Shen Nian, his eyes were full of surprises: "Does that mean it's still useful?"

After drinking alcohol yesterday, he hardly had any impression of Shen Nian's memory before going to bed. When Gu Zhi asked him just now, he also subconsciously thought that the alcohol might be the cause, but now looking at Gu Zhi's eyes, it should not be alcohol, but It was Gu Zhi who did something.

"What did you do?" Shen Nian's tone softened involuntarily.

"It's nothing." Gu Zhi looked at him with a smile: "It's just that I found out that Nian Nian is just a child, and she needs someone to clap and sing nursery rhymes to sleep."

Shen Nian was surprised that Gu Zhi did this, and thought of the picture of Gu Zhi coaxing himself like a child, and felt a little embarrassed, so he changed the subject:

"Hurry up and change your pants, isn't it uncomfortable to wear?"

After Shen Nian finished speaking, she walked out.

This afternoon, Shen Nian asked Liang Qiu to go back, saying that he should do his own thing after being with him for so many days, Liang Qiu looked at him:

"Aren't I coming back just for you? What else do I have to do?"

"You haven't been back for half a year, go back and see your grandparents."

"Are you chasing me?" Liang Qiu sat on the steps and looked back at Shen Nian who was standing behind him: "How many years have I known you? Can I not tell if you are okay or not?"

"It won't be good if you stay with me." Shen Nian said, "And I don't want to drag anyone down."

He didn't think about it before, even less after what happened to Shen Chongshan.

Liang Qiu didn't speak, and stopped for a while to look at Gu Zhi, who was squatting by the water cellar and washing his bicycle:

"Xiao Nian, I know this matter is hard for you to get through, I can't persuade you, and I don't want to waste my words, but can you stop pretending that nothing happened, cry when you want to cry, make trouble when you want Can't you? I feel uncomfortable when you do this."

Shen Nian didn't speak for a long time, followed Liang Qiu's gaze to look at Gu Zhi, and then he said, "There's nothing to cry about, what's the point?"

He didn't even cry at the funeral, and he won't cry after that.

Can't cry.

Liang Qiu still left, just like what Shen Nian said just now, Shen Nian would still feel that being here with him was a burden, as Shen Nian said, he didn't want anyone to pay for him anymore, even if it was just time.

He didn't deny that Gu Zhi was also paying for himself, but that was different, there was no other choice between them, they only had each other.

Not long after Liang Qiu left, Shen Nian and Gu Zhi also returned to the rented house. Although what happened during this time seemed to have passed through centuries, it was actually less than a week after careful calculation. After finishing the college entrance examination, he can take a break, but Gu Zhi still has to go to school, and he will also take the high school entrance examination soon, so there should be no further delay.

In fact, Gu Zhi doesn't really want to go to school. He is afraid that Shen Nian will think too much and feel uncomfortable at home, but he also knows that if he stays for him, he will feel even more uncomfortable. Now he won't let Liang Qiu who has nothing to do Accompany, not to mention myself who is about to take the senior high school entrance examination.

So Gu Zhi obediently went back to school, continued to attend classes, but pestered Shen Nian to send him to pick him up every day, Shen Nian agreed without thinking.

That's what he originally planned. Gu Zhi paid so much for himself during his college entrance examination, and now that it's his turn, he can't just do nothing.

Gu Zhi became more talkative. On the way to school, he told Shen Nian what he wanted to eat, and asked Shen Nian to buy it on the way back to the rented house, and then washed it and waited for him to go back to do it. On the way after school, Gu Zhi would tell Shen Nian The interesting things that happened in school, so small that he wished he could tell Shen Nian how many times he went to the toilet.

Shen Nian knew that he was afraid that he would be bored, so he found something for himself to do, and also made his world not so quiet.

Gu Zhi is working hard for him, and Shen Nian is actually working hard too, he doesn't want to take a step when Gu Zhi is pushing himself desperately, so he also tries to enrich himself when Gu Zhi is going to school, Go to the library and make an appointment with Liang Qiu. He hopes to be tired during the day and sleep better at night, so that he will not be so dependent on stubbornness.

Yes, the current Shen Nian is far more dependent on Gu Zhi than Gu Zhi is on him. During the day, he tries to keep himself as busy as possible, but sometimes the sky is not beautiful, he can't go out and can't be busy, so he can only hold back in the rented house. When he fell asleep, he would think of Gu Zhi, and kept checking the time when school was over and whether it was time to pick him up. At night, he could only fall asleep when Gu Zhi patted him lightly and kept reassuring him. To avoid nightmares.

Gu Zhi did what he said, he guarded the gate of the dream, not letting any nightmares in.

But what happened?As a result, Gu Zhi didn't get enough sleep every day. Although he said he was fine, and he was no different from before in front of him, his energy and energy could not deceive anyone, nor could the blue color in his eyes.

It is a fact that Gu Zhi is being dragged down by himself little by little.