paranoid dependence

Gu Zhi is very coaxing.

A word of 'be obedient' and a hug can soften him who is out of control.

Shen Nian hugged him for a long time, and only reminded him softly when his legs were a little stiff: "I haven't slept all night, go to sleep for a while, okay?"

"I'll go to sleep after packing up." Gu Zhi still said on Shen Nian's neck in a dull voice.

"I'll clean it up."

"No." Gu Zhi insisted, withdrew from Shen Nian's embrace and straightened his body: "I fell, I'll clean it up."

His unyielding attitude made Shen Nian laugh, but he didn't refuse, saying: "Then I help?"

"No need." Gu Zhi turned around and pulled a chair and placed it on an open space that wasn't affected, took Shen Nian's hand to make him sit down, then squatted in front of him and looked at him softly: " Niannian just stay here with me, okay?"

Gu Zhi's mood seemed to be fine now, but Shen Nian didn't dare to let him alone, and replied: "Okay."

Gu Zhi laughed, got up and went outside to get a dustpan and a broom, put the table back up, and cleaned up the mess all over the floor one by one. Shen Nian just sat there and looked at Gu Zhi, Gu Zhi He seemed worried, and also worried that Shen Nian would disappear out of thin air, so he had to look over from time to time.

When his eyes met Shen Nian's, he smiled again, very softly and sweetly, as if the loss of control just now didn't exist at all, never happened.

Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi like this, but he didn't relax at all. He admitted that Gu Zhi gave him everything he wanted, and he only focused on him. Everything that Gu Zhi showed now seemed to take his whole life into consideration. There is only one Shen Nian in life, and Shen Nian has indeed obtained peace and satisfaction in this kind of concentration.

But what about Gu Zhi?What about later?

Can they be like this forever?They can be in the same city now, but what if Shen Nian wants to go to university?Even if he doesn't go to Shanghai, there is no university in this city where Shen Nian can study. He has to go out, and he must go out.

It's just that he walked out, where is Gu Zhi?Can he accept it?

If not?What should Shen Nian do?What can I do?

Shen Nian doesn't know, but fortunately, he still has time, maybe he can come out with Gu Zhi little by little.

Shen Nian didn't want to change Gu Zhi, he wanted to add something to Gu Zhi's world.Gu Zhi can still want someone to only look at him, just for him, but at the same time, he should also accept other people, he doesn't need to be sincere, but at least have normal social interactions, stop being so paranoid, and think that only one person is enough world.

After Gu Zhi cleaned up the kitchen, Shen Nian thought he should go to rest, but Gu Zhi still didn't, and wanted to make breakfast for Shen Nian instead:

"Niannian came back early in the morning, she must have not eaten, I'll make you breakfast."

"Gu Zhi, I'm not very hungry."

"Eat less." Perhaps it was the madness just now that made him uneasy, he looked at Shen Nian cautiously, afraid that Shen Nian would refuse, that he would be unhappy, that he would not be as indifferent as he showed.

Gu Zhi's eyes softened Shen Nian's heart, so he responded: "Okay, then just do something simple, it doesn't need to be too troublesome."

Gu Zhi laughed: "Eggs and porridge, okay?"

"can."

Shen Nian's acceptance made Gu Zhi feel at ease, he turned around to make breakfast almost happily, Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi and sighed silently in his heart, got up from his seat, Gu Zhi immediately Hearing the voice of Shen Nian about to leave, she turned her head to look at him, looking at him nervously.

"I'm going to the bathroom." Shen Nian said.

Gu Zhi relaxed: "Then Nian Nian will come back later."

"it is good."

When Shen Nian left the small restaurant, at the corner of the door, he saw the phone that was smashed to pieces by Gu Zhi, maybe because it was in a blind spot, Gu Zhi didn't see it when he was cleaning, Shen Nian stood there silently After a while, he squatted down and picked up the phone.

The mobile phone is quite expensive, at least not something that Shen Nian and Gu Zhi can afford. This mobile phone was given to him by Liang Qiu when he went to Shanghai because he was afraid that he would have too little contact with him. Shen Nian never accepts it from others. Even Liang Qiu has very few of his own things, especially when they are so precious.

But he picked up the phone, not because he liked it, but because he didn't want to break contact with Liang Qiu.

Now being broken by Gu Zhi, Shen Nian is very distressed, it means that he can no longer contact Liang Qiu anytime and anywhere, but there is no other way, the matter has already happened.

Shen Nian took out the SIM card from inside, and walked away.

Gu Zhi stood behind Shen Nian and kept looking at him, seeing his movements. He could see that Shen Nian was very distressed and reluctant, but if he was given another chance, he would still be like this. Do it without hesitation.

He really didn't like that phone, nor did he like the person Shen Nian was in contact with.

After breakfast, Gu Zhi had no reason to refuse, and went back to the north room with Shen Nian. He didn't go to the upper bunk, and lay directly on Shen Nian's bed.

It's not that he hasn't slept, Shen Nian didn't care, turned on the electric blanket for him, but when he got up to leave, Gu Zhi grabbed his hand:

"Where are you going?"

"I'm not leaving." Shen Nian said, "I'm doing my homework over there at the desk."

Gu Zhi stared at him for a few seconds, didn't force him to sleep with him, and let go of his hand.

Shen Nian was sitting in front of the desk, Gu Zhi was lying on Shen Nian's bed and looking at him, knowing that Shen Nian was not in the mood to read, he sat there without even lowering his head and kept looking out the window, what was he thinking?

Gu Zhi didn't know, but he knew that it must be related to him.

It shouldn't be too easy. Did my behavior today put pressure on him?But he obviously took a step back and didn't force him to sever ties with Liang Qiu.

Is this not enough?

Apart from only looking at him, only for him, what else does Shen Nian want?Now I want Liang Qiu, what about after that?Will there be more things you want?Do you want to leave yourself one day?

"Nian Nian." Gu Zhi called him in a low voice.

Although Shen Nian was in a daze, he didn't lose his mind. Gu Zhi called him softly, and Shen Nian turned around: "What's wrong? Can't sleep?"

"Yeah." Gu Zhi looked at him with a smile: "Will Nian Nian accompany me?"

Shen Nian stood up silently for a few seconds and walked over, took off his coat and lay down.

Gu Zhi held his hand, Shen Nian glanced at him: "Go to sleep."

Gu Zhi responded, but didn't close his eyes, and still looked at him. Shen Nian stared at the bed board above his head in a daze, and didn't notice Gu Zhi. It wasn't until his palm was scratched lightly that he realized that Gu Zhi wasn't asleep yet. with.

"Nian Nian." Gu Zhi asked him in a low voice, "Do you regret it?"

For Gu Zhi's question, Shen Nian was a little surprised: "What do you regret?"

"The promise you made with me back then." Gu Zhi lowered his eyes and didn't dare to look into Shen Nian's eyes, for fear of seeing emotions that he didn't want to see there: "When you asked me to stay, I couldn't hold on alone. , Maybe I didn’t think about it so much, I thought it’s fine to be an individual, anyone is fine, as long as I can be with you, but I’m different from others, even if I tell you the possible consequences, I still have to experience it to know. "

"Things like today may happen again in the future, do you regret it?" Gu Zhi's voice was muffled: "Bringing a little lunatic home."

Shen Nian didn't speak, Gu Zhi started to get a little nervous, maybe he didn't even notice that he started to hold Shen Nian's hand hard.

"It hurts..." Shen Nian said helplessly, Gu Zhi let go of his hand subconsciously, but still didn't look at him, Shen Nian sighed helplessly: "Gu Zhi, if the person back then wasn't you, I I will never ask anyone to stay with me."

Gu Zhi's body froze for a moment, then he looked up at Shen Nian, and found that there was no joke in his eyes, he was very serious.

"Besides, who said I haven't experienced your madness?" Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi: "When we had a bad relationship before, didn't I experience little?"

Gu Zhi frowned, he didn't like reminiscing about the old things very much: "That's different."

"It's the same for me." Shen Nian said: "I know your reaction when you encounter something you don't like, and then just assume that you can accept it when you encounter such a thing. You stayed and naturally considered this issue."

"So..." Gu Zhi asked, "Do you really not regret it?"

"I don't regret it." Shen Nian said again.

"But I regret it." Gu Zhi said.

This sentence surprised Shen Nian again, seeing that he didn't speak.

"I said at the beginning that I was not interested in you and didn't want you." Gu Zhi met Shen Nian's gaze: "I regret it. I said something wrong. I am interested in you, very interested! I want you too , want you very much! Only you!"

Shen Nian thought for a while before remembering the circumstances under which Gu Zhi said that to himself: "I'd have forgotten about it if you didn't tell me."

"I remember." Gu Zhi said, "I remember all the things I did to you."

"What do you remember? I forgot myself."

"You can forget, but I can't forget." Gu Zhi turned over and lay down on the bed, looking at Shen Nian: "I have to remember well, remember how bad I treated you before, so that I can treat you better now and in the future."

"Nian Nian." Gu Zhi looked at him seriously: "I will treat you well all my life."

It should be stressful to say such a lifetime promise from the mouth of a little lunatic, but as Shen Nian said, there is nothing in this world that is absolutely black and white, right and wrong, and others may He felt pressured, but when Shen Nian heard these words, he felt a little relieved inexplicably.

This kind of obsession, crazy obsession will certainly put some pressure on Shen Nian, and also make him a little bit confused about the future, but what he wants from the beginning, isn't he a person who sees himself in his heart?

No matter what happens in the future, with Gu Zhi sticking up behind him, it will be steadfast after all, and it will no longer be so empty.

Shen Nian wanted to ask Gu Zhi what was going on with his mother, but when he finally figured out how to speak up and went to see Gu Zhi, he was already asleep.

After all, he didn't sleep all night. After all this trouble, he should have been tired long ago.

Shen Nian didn't bother him and suppressed all curiosity.That won't be a good memory after all, so I won't mention it if I don't mention it.

Shen Nian also didn't sleep well last night, and his energy was a little sluggish. He didn't want to sleep very much, and he thought he didn't do his homework, but Gu Zhi kept holding his hand, and then he was grabbed even tighter. Lying like this, he fell asleep in a daze, and it was already noon when he heard some voices coming from outside the window.

The sound in the yard continued from time to time, as if someone was throwing pebbles, Shen Nian stood up cautiously, and pulled his hand back from Gu Zhi's, when he frowned slightly and was about to wake up , Shen Nian quickly stuffed his own pillow into it, Gu Zhi hugged him, and continued to sleep without opening his eyes again.

Shen Nian helped him cover the quilt, put on his clothes and went out lightly.

As soon as he walked out of the north room, he saw Liang Qiu squatting on the roof of the neighbor's house in the front yard. He was still holding a few stones in his hand and was throwing them impatiently. When Shen Nian came out, he changed his expression:

"Fuck, you still know it."

Shen Nian didn't expect Liang Qiu to appear, it was still in this way, after all, when we met yesterday, he said he would stay on the mountain for a few days, but after thinking about it, he knew what was going on, probably because he was worried about what was going on here Due to the situation, he did not dare to provoke Gu Zhi easily.

Shen Nian didn't speak, pointed to the alley, and stepped out. Liang Qiu looked like he had seen a ghost, but he didn't say anything, got up and went down from the roof.

Shen Nian stood in the alley and waited for a while before Liang Qiu came out from the neighbor's house. As soon as Liang Qiu saw Shen Nian, he pointed at him and ran over. Shen Nian smiled and stood still, waiting for Liang Qiu to come over. Wrap your arms around yourself and make a punching motion:

"Shen Xiaonian, I didn't even soak in the hot spring because of you."

"I was wrong, I was wrong." Shen Nian is good at knowing current affairs, and he definitely doesn't insist on it. He obediently begs for mercy early on, which makes people unbearable to really do it.

Liang Qiu didn't really want to beat him up, and let him go after teaching him a lesson, but his tone was still a bit cold: "What's going on? Where's the phone? Why didn't you answer my call?"

"I fell when I came back." Shen Nian said, "The phone is broken."

Liang Qiu didn't speak, and looked at Shen Nian, the inquiry and suspicion in his eyes made Shen Nian dare not look at it for a second.

He is a person who can't lie, especially for those who care about him, Liang Qiu can see through him at a glance.

Liang Qiu did see that Shen Nian was lying, but Liang Qiu would not take the initiative to expose what Shen Nian wanted to hide, so let's just treat it as a real fall.Liang Qiu didn't speak, but directly took out his mobile phone from his pocket, took off the back cover and battery, took off his sim card, and then handed the mobile phone to Shen Nian:

"It just so happens that I want to change my mobile phone, so you can still use mine, the old one, don't dislike it."

These words are really familiar, he also said the same when he gave himself the phone half a year ago, that time he could accept it, but this time, Shen Nian couldn't.

Shen Nian put his hands in his pockets: "You just bought it half a year ago, what would you change it for, won the lottery?"

Liang Qiu clicked his tongue and wanted to force it to him, but Shen Nian took a step back and looked at him seriously: "Liang Qiu, I don't want it."

"Shen Xiaonian!" Liang Qiu was a little annoyed: "I told you to hold it, you don't have a mobile phone, have you thought about how anxious I am when I can't contact you after returning to Shanghai?"

"I'll turn on the phone at home in two days, and you can call then."

Liang Qiu wanted to say something after hearing the words, but Shen Nian stopped him: "Liang Qiu, I really can't want it."

Liang Qiu was also anxious: "Are you worried that the little pervert won't accept another fall? Let him fall, and I'll buy you a new one if he falls again. I'll see how long he can fall."

Being exposed by Liang Qiu's lie just now, Shen Nian was silent for a few seconds and only smiled slightly:

"Liang Qiu, you insisted on giving me the phone because you were worried that my state would return to the way it was before. You want to keep in touch with me and accompany me every day. I know, but now I have Gu Zhi to accompany me, so I won't have that kind of situation again." status, so there is no need for a mobile phone, and the landline can still be contacted."

"Then what if he doesn't even allow landlines?"

"No." Shen Nian said.

"What if?" Liang Qiu was worried: "Can't you put it away and hide it? Can you just let me feel at ease?"

Shen Nian still shook his head: "I can accept your mobile phone, but I can't always take yours, Liang Qiu, you understand me, this is really too precious to me."

"You're still talking about this with me?" Liang Qiu looked at Shen Nian incredulously: "You saved my life."

"What you have given me for so many years is already enough." Shen Nian looked at him with a smile: "Really, don't take me as your responsibility, we are friends, best friends."

Liang Qiu has seen Shen Nian's insistence before, and he rarely changes things, so after a few minutes of stalemate and seeing that Shen Nian has not loosened in the slightest, he gives up, but he is not in a good mood, and the phone card is not installed. It was directly stuffed into the pocket, and I stood there and sulked for a while:

"Okay, what are you talking about, but since you and this little pervert want to get along well, shouldn't I treat him to a meal? I can't stay so stiff all the time, I have to see if I really look like you As he said, is he really treating you well? If he can really treat you well, I don't mind having more younger brothers. "

"I can also be nice to him." Liang Qiu said.

Liang Qiu is like this, hard-spoken and soft-hearted, as long as he treats Shen Nian well, he can compromise, even if it is stubbornness.

Shen Nian smiled: "I'll talk to him."

Liang Qiu sighed helplessly and didn't say anything. He stood quietly for a while, probably because he was still angry in his heart, and waved away, saying that he should go to the mountain to cultivate himself and soak in hot springs. If he stayed any longer, he might suffocate to death. , Shen Nian didn't stop him, and sent him to the bus stop before getting up and walking back. When he got home, he found Gu Zhi sitting on the steps of the Westinghouse.

I don't know how long I sat there.

Shen Nian was stunned for a moment, but quickly realized that he stopped and looked at him: "Did you hear everything?"

Gu Zhi turned his head to look at Shen Nian, he didn't speak, his expression was not angry, but it definitely had nothing to do with being happy, he even showed a little forbearance, he probably wanted to rush out, but it was only in the morning that he and Shen Nian had a bad time, I didn't want to make Shen Nian feel uncomfortable anymore, so I suppressed it.

Shen Nian walked over and stood in front of him, knelt down and looked at him: "You can go out."

Gu Zhi still looked at Shen Nian, his expression was like a kid who just lost his lollipop, feeling aggrieved, Shen Nian couldn't help but raised his hand and pinched his nose, asking:

"Now that you've heard it all, do you want to have dinner? Together with Liang Qiu."

Probably still unwilling, because Gu Zhi didn't speak for a long time, and Shen Nian didn't really want to force him, just when he said it's fine, Gu Zhi softly compromised, saying:

"I listened to it."

Shen Nian looked at him for a few seconds, then smiled: "Okay."

It's getting late, the breakfast is simple, Shen Nian is a bit hungry, but when he got up to cook, Gu Zhi grabbed Shen Nian's hand, under Shen Nian's puzzled eyes, Gu Zhi asked him:

"Did you take a hot spring with him yesterday?"

"Yes." Shen Nian nodded: "What's wrong?"

"The kind of bubble that undresses?"

Shen Nian didn't speak immediately, he didn't quite understand the meaning of Gu Zhi's question, or in other words, he didn't expect Gu Zhi to be possessive.

Gu Zhi was already upset when he heard Liang Qiu say that they were taking a hot spring. He didn't know why, but he was upset. He didn't want others to see Shen Nian. The two of them took off their clothes and soaked in the same pool. I did this with Niannian.

Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian with a bit of aggrieved expression:

"I have never had a bath with you, and I have never seen you without clothes."

Shen Nian: "...what can I do?"

Gu Zhi didn't speak, but no one could ignore his unhappy look.

Shen Nian just left him for a whole night yesterday, although it has indeed calmed down a bit now, but in the end it has not been completely resolved, it was Gu Zhi who made a compromise and took a step back.

What Gu Zhi said is also true, he gave Shen Nian everything he wanted, but so far Shen Nian has not been able to give Gu Zhi what he wants, so it is right to indulge him in some things.

Shen Nian squeezed Gu Zhi's hand, and Gu Zhi raised his hand to look at him.

"I can't take you to the hot spring, but I can take you there." Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi: "Would you like to go?"

Gu Zhi's eyes lit up, and he got up from the steps instantly:

"Go! When?"