paranoid dependence

Maybe Shen Nian is really a cold person, or maybe he is too used to the disappointment this world gives him, so he is easy to feel warm things, but it is also easy to quickly regain his senses after feeling And calm down so as not to get hurt.

So when faced with stubbornness and giving him warmth, he can't help but give back, but after leaving, he will continue to live as usual, step by step.

In the final analysis, he and Gu Zhi didn't get along for too long. In the final analysis, the grudge between them was far deeper than warmth. In the final analysis, there was almost no trust between them.

The warmth once or twice is indeed tempting, but it is far from enough to make them cuddle up without any grudges.

As far as the present is concerned, the relationship between Shen Nian and Gu Zhi is still just a relationship of accompanying each other to get what they need, and it can even be said that Shen Nian is unilaterally asking for it from Gu Zhi.

This is unfair, Shen Nian knows, but he intends to maintain the current state, although he can feel that Gu Zhi also intends to speed up the relationship between them.

In the days after returning to school, Shen Nian would occasionally think of Gu Zhi, but not often, during the boring breaks between classes, before going to sleep after turning off the lights in the dormitory, wondering if he had turned on the air conditioner to keep warm, and if he remembered to turn off the electric blanket. However, he still spends most of his time on his studies, he still works hard, he still ranks among the best, and he still does his best for his future.

When I went home again, the temperature was colder than before. There were not many students in front of the snack cart across the street from the school gate. The table was full of dishes, and I also remembered the smile on Gu Zhi's face when he bought fried skewers last time.

It seems that Gu Zhi became more considerate starting from that fried skewer.

It's worth it to exchange a few fried skewers for a table of home-cooked meals, so Shen Nian crossed the road to buy a few fried skewers at a stall where the car hadn't arrived, the same as what Gu Zhi chose last time, chicken chops, mushrooms and potatoes.

When we got home, the sky had already darkened. Shen Nian originally thought that he would have a not-so-delicious but warm dinner just like last time, but the fact is that there was not even the slightest smoke in the kitchen. Looks like it hasn't been fired for a few days.

Shen Nian's immediate reaction was that Gu Zhi had left again, otherwise he wouldn't have tried his best to please him last week, but this week his appearance would have changed completely. He was going to visit the North Room, but just as he turned around, Gu Zhi appeared At the kitchen door, she looked at him with a smile:

"Nian Nian is back."

"En." Shen Nian replied, but he didn't know how to ask for it, he was not very good at asking for it, so he couldn't ask why Gu Zhi didn't cook.

It's just that he didn't struggle for too long, Gu Zhi seemed to see his doubts, and quickly gave him the answer:

"I'm sorry Nian Nian, it seems that the liquefied petroleum gas is gone, I can't cook."

Shen Nian was taken aback by Gu Zhi's words, and then he realized that it seemed that he hadn't bought liquefied gas for a long time, he forgot about it, and also forgot that Gu Zhi was needed when he was alone at home.

Immediately felt a little guilty: "When did you not have it?"

Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian, smiled and shook his head: "Not long."

Shen Nian didn't believe Gu Zhi's words, his expression was obviously to make himself not worry, but Shen Nian didn't say anything, when he was about to put down his schoolbag and dig out the induction cooker, he saw the steamed buns on the dining table, the plastic bags put Two of them were eaten, and one of the outer plates was half-eaten, and there were some crumbs beside the plate, which could be seen at a glance that they were eaten cold.

"You just eat this?" Shen Nian asked.

Gu Zhi smiled: "This is how I always ate when I was in a dangerous building."

Shen Nian stood beside him without saying a word, he even somewhat forgot what he was going to do just now, and then it was Gu Zhi who held his hand and broke the dullness:

"What's wrong with Nian Nian?"

There was nothing wrong with Shen Nian, he just found himself a little angry, not angry with Gu Zhi, but angry with himself.

He asked Gu Zhi to come back, he wanted to live on campus, he wanted Gu Zhi to stay at home and wait for him, and he was not allowed to go anywhere, but he never seemed to care about what Gu Zhi ate at home or how he lived. It was only when I came back that I realized the problem of heating. This time I came back and found that even eating was a problem.

Shen Nian never seemed to have thought about how Gu Zhi ate before he knew how to cook.

This is not something he would do before, and he is not such a careless person, but why did he subconsciously ignore these things?Could it be because Gu Zhi once did something bad to him, so he subconsciously retaliated?

"Why don't you take it to the neighbor's house and ask them to warm it up?" Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi.

"I won't go." Gu Zhi said with a look of disgust: "They don't like me, they look at me like they're looking at some kind of monster, and I don't like them either."

Shen Nian remembered that time when Shen Chongshan was about to leave, Gu Zhi's madness, at that time almost the whole alley came to watch the fun, and they all saw Gu Zhi's madness in their eyes, that is, from that time on , people in the alley began to say that Gu Zhi was not good, even Shen Nian had heard it a few times.

After Gu Zhi came back, Shen Nian and Gu Zhi also went out a few times. The neighbors would greet him, but they never spoke to Gu Zhi. The way they looked at Gu Zhi was not malicious, but they definitely did not want to involve What's the matter, someone even told Shen Nian quietly, why did this kid come back again, and how clean he was when he left.

In such a situation, Gu Zhi had such a temperament, it was perfectly normal that he would not ask them for help.

Shen Nian was silent for a few seconds and didn't say anything. Remembering that he was going to find the induction cooker earlier, he put down his schoolbag and went to look in the cupboard. There was another thing that was put down. The familiar package and wooden sign let him see what it was at a glance. He said in surprise:

"Did Nian Nian buy it for me?"

Shen Nian had completely forgotten about it, and looked back at Gu Zhi's joyful appearance holding the fried skewers, he responded lightly, and went back to get the induction cooker, but he never thought that when he took out the induction cooker and was about to get up , Gu Zhi would suddenly come over and lie on his back, Shen Nian was off guard and almost fell, but Gu Zhi hugged his neck tightly, proclaiming his happiness:

"Nian Nian, why are you so nice?"

Shen Nian sighed helplessly: "Get up."

Gu Zhi could hear that Shen Nian's tone was still not very good, so he got down from his back. Shen Nian plugged in the induction cooker to cook, but found that there was no food at home. He glanced at Gu Zhi. Zhi, however, sat on the stool and devoured the fried skewers, as if he was starving.

Shen Nian was too lazy to buy any more ingredients, boiled some porridge, warmed steamed buns, and scrambled an egg for dinner, compared to last week's meals, this meal could almost be called shabby.

Shen Nian was obviously a little hungry before he came back, but now he has no appetite at all, it's not that the food in front of him is simple, after all he ate these most of the time before, he just couldn't eat.

Gu Zhi ate very happily at first, he could tell that he was really hungry, but seeing Shen Nian not moving for a long time, he gradually slowed down, his eyes also glanced at Shen Nian from time to time, and finally couldn't help it. I asked a sentence:

"What's wrong with Nian Nian?"

Shen Nian looked at him: "Not too hungry, you can eat."

Gu Zhi didn't move, but still looked at him, but Shen Nian staggered his gaze, and slowly started to drink porridge, Gu Zhi didn't say anything, but his appetite didn't seem to be very good either,

After eating, Shen Nian went back to his room. Before Gu Zhi was washing the dishes, he went back to his room first, and then unexpectedly found that the mattress on the bed had been put away, the books on the desk were gone, and even the cupboard was gone. His own clothes also disappeared.

Only Gu Zhi was at home, apart from him doing this matter, Shen Nian could not think of any other possibility.

He walked out of his room to Gu Zhi's room, before he got there, Gu Zhi entered the north room, saw Shen Nian coming out of the hut, and immediately said:

"I put all your things in my room."

Shen Nian saw that he hadn't opened his mouth to express objection, Gu Zhi spoke again: "This winter only my room can be heated, you will stay for two days when you come back, I just think it will be more convenient to move things here, if you don't like it, I'll just move back."

After Gu Zhi finished speaking, he went back to the room first. He looked like a pug with its tail twitching. It was only at this time that Shen Nian realized that from just now until now, his face seemed to have been very stinky, although he usually doesn't smile much. , but it's not as indifferent as it is now, Gu Zhi probably thought that he didn't want to sleep with him anymore.

His loss was all too obvious.

Shen Nian stood there in silence for a few seconds, then walked to Gu Zhi's room.

Gu Zhi was sitting in front of the desk. Although there were books spread out on the desk, he didn't seem to be reading it. His eyes were looking out of the window and he didn't know what he was thinking. After Shen Nian looked at him for a few seconds, he realized that there were books in his room and the living room. There is no difference in the temperature inside, I glanced at the air conditioner:

"Don't you turn on the air conditioner at home?"

Gu Zhi didn't seem to realize that Shen Nian was coming over until this time, turned his head to look over, and said, "Nian Nian, even if you don't want to sleep with me, just let it go, your room is too cold, I don't want you to get sick .”

"I don't want to." Shen Nian said, "I didn't mean that."

Gu Zhi didn't speak, just looked at him, but Shen Nian didn't explain anything, walked in and sat down beside Gu Zhi, and asked him as if nothing happened:

"Are there any knowledge points that you don't know this week?"

Gu Zhi stared at Shen Nian's side face for a few seconds, did not speak, but when Shen Nian turned to look at him, he got up, Shen Nian looked at him not knowing what he was going to do, but saw that he was just He walked over to close the door, and turned on the air conditioner. After doing all this, he went back to sit next to Shen Nian, obediently like a good student, took out his notebook, and pushed it in front of Shen Nian:

"These don't understand."

Shen Nian had never seen Gu Zhi like this before, he would express any unhappiness and dissatisfaction, but this time it seemed that all his emotions were suppressed, but it was probably because he was unfamiliar and had never done this before. Let people see through at a glance.

Shen Nian is not very good at comforting people, because he is also a person who needs to be comforted, but this matter is really not Gu Zhi's fault:

"Gu Zhi, I'm not angry with you."

These words made Gu Zhi stunned for a moment, he looked up at him with a cautious taste: "You look very unhappy."

"En." Shen Nian replied, "But it's not because of you."

Shen Nian only said this, and didn't say anything else afterwards. He didn't know how to tell Gu Zhi that he was just competing with himself, although even he himself might not know what he was competing with.After calming down a bit, Shen Nian started to give a lecture for Gu Zhi, but Gu Zhi didn't listen carefully, his eyes fell on Shen Nian's face for more time than the book, and later Shen Nian also felt that it was meaningless, and they were not together status, so I won’t talk about it anymore:

"let's talk tomorrow."

After washing, the two of them lay on the bed, Shen Nian closed his eyes as if he was asleep, Gu Zhi kept looking at Shen Nian sideways, he knew that Shen Nian was not asleep, he was deliberately suppressing his breathing, it was so light that he almost couldn't feel it arrive.

Close your eyes just don't want to talk to yourself.

Gu Zhi looked at him for a long time, then told him: "Nian Nian, I will eat well in the future."

Shen Nian seemed to have really fallen asleep, there was no response for a long time, Gu Zhi didn't wait any longer, and when he turned around and wanted to turn off the light, Shen Nian responded lightly and said, "Okay."

I don't know if it's because of something in my heart, the next day Shen Nian woke up earlier than usual, Gu Zhi was still sleeping, Shen Nian got out of bed carefully and didn't disturb him, and after walking out of the room, he called the liquefied gas delivery person A phone call, asking them to send liquefied petroleum gas, the other party asked for the address, and clicked: "It's only a day away."

Shen Nian paused for a moment, before she had time to ask her doubts, the other party said 'wait, it will be half an hour' and hung up the phone.

Shen Nian looked at the hung up phone, but didn't care.

He went back to the room, took the dirty clothes he brought back, went to the bathroom, threw the clothes in the washing machine and washed them while washing, and then went to the kitchen with the English book, reciting words while cooking on the induction cooker, and the porridge was ready At that time, the person who delivered the liquefied gas also came, Shen Nian helped to lift the curtain and let him in, before Shen Nian asked what he meant by the words he said on the phone just now, the person spoke:

"I came to your house yesterday. When I delivered it to the neighbors in front of me, I thought that your house was almost gone, so I came to ask if I wanted it. Your brother said that the adults at home were not there. He didn't understand. I just looked at him alone. , and didn’t come in to take a look.”

Shen Nian was taken aback: "Yesterday?"

"Yes." The man unloaded the empty liquefaction tank and installed a new one: "It was around noon yesterday."

"It's only one day away, otherwise I can save the trip today, it's so cold." The man screwed up the liquefaction pipe and said with a smile, "It's still the same price as before, 60."

Shen Nian recovered from the mess of thoughts, and paid the money: "I'm sorry to trouble you, thank you."

"You're welcome." The man took the money and carried the empty liquefaction tank and walked out the door: "Let's go, call me when you don't have any."

Shen Nian was left alone in the kitchen, he should be cooking a simple dish, but at this moment he didn't want to do anything, he only had Gu Zhi in his mind.

He did it on purpose, Shen Nian only had this idea.

Last week he made himself feel for one of his meals, this week he made himself feel guilty about his situation, he's doing his best, he's far more capable than taming him.

It was really a good move.