paranoid dependence

Shen Nian said yes, the covenant was concluded.

Gu Zhi stared at him for a while, then his eyes softened, it seemed that from this moment on he had divided Shen Nian into his territory, it was no longer the one just now who looked at him full of defense and didn't believe him. But at the same time, Shen Nian could also feel the possession in his eyes, he only looked at himself, from this moment on.

There is no uneasiness, Shen Nian inexplicably feels at ease.

Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian, reached out and grabbed his hand, shook it slightly, and said:

"Nian Nian, I'm hungry."

Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi, and remained silent for a few seconds without opening his mouth. He didn't know why he didn't even call out "brother" when he got closer, but it was fine. Shen Nian didn't necessarily want to be Gu Zhi's brother. Well, it's just a title, he didn't shake off Gu Zhi's hand, just led him from the porch to the Westinghouse kitchen.

The leftover fried steamed buns were already cold, Shen Nian turned on the fire and warmed it up again, and brought it to Gu Zhi:

"There's nothing else to eat at home, so even if you don't like eggs, just let it go."

Gu Zhi looked at the mantou and then at Shen Nian, and said, "I like it."

After finishing speaking, he picked up the chopsticks and started to eat. He wolfed down like he hadn't eaten a hot meal for a long time. Most of the bowl of steamed buns disappeared in less than a minute, and his bulging mouth seemed to be unable to bear more Many, Shen Nian stood in front of the window and looked at him, didn't make a sound to stop him, but poured him a glass of water and put it in front of him.

Gu Zhi looked up at him because of the glass of water, with a flattering smile in his eyes.

Shen Nian actually didn't understand why he could switch between the two states of indifference and enthusiasm so freely without any trace.

But it is also because of this that Shen Nian can understand that Gu Zhi's love and hate are too clear, there is no gray area, no middle value, it's not his, he can be indifferent to the end, he can't even take a look, but once he confirms that it's him Yes, want, but can give endless tenderness.

Like a hedgehog, showing only his soft belly to himself.

Being cared about by such a person can satisfy another person's vanity to a certain extent.Because his eyes and heart will be full of himself, and he will not tolerate other people.

Shen Nian has no vanity, but he needs companionship and care, these obsessions can satisfy him, using possession makes his feet land on the ground, no longer so empty.

As long as Shen Nian is willing, this kind of surrender is for a lifetime.I only need to use a little warmth to tame this person, and a little care to make this person bow down to me, always be by my side, always look at me, and always be for myself.

Shen Nian couldn't find a reason to resist.He wants at least one person in this world who is here for him, maybe Gu Zhi was not this person at first, but Shen Nian can make him become this person.

It's easy to do, he knows.

After eating, Gu Zhi took the initiative to wash the dishes, wiped them clean and put them back in the cupboard, walked up to Shen Nian and looked up at him, his eyes were so obedient that people couldn't remember his previous appearance.

Gu Zhi can switch between love and hate freely, but Shen Nian is not a perfect evil person, he is guilty and he is not used to it, and after a few seconds, he looks away:

"It's getting late, go to bed early, I have to go to school tomorrow."

Gu Zhi nodded, followed Shen Nian back to the north room, Shen Nian stopped at the door of Gu Zhi's original room, and the next second Gu Zhi's flattering eyes fell on his face:

"Nian Nian, it's raining today."

He wanted to sleep with Shen Nian.

But Shen Nian had no such plan, and the room was too small to sleep in: "I'm not used to sleeping with others."

Gu Zhi stared at Shen Nian for a while, his eyes could still be soft, but he didn't insist, even though he still wanted to go back to that hut with Shen Nian.

The door of the room was opened, and the smell of dust hit the face. Ever since Gu Zhi left the house, Shen Chongshan had packed up the things in the room, making it look empty, and Shen Nian never came in once.

"Clean up, it should be much better than the place you live outside anyway."

"If I pack it up, do you want to move here?" Gu Zhi looked at him.

Shen Nian didn't quite understand the meaning of this sentence and looked at him.

"This room was originally yours."

He wanted to give this room back to himself.

"No need." Shen Nian said, "You can stay here."

After saying this, Shen Nian left, leaving Gu Zhi alone. He watched Shen Nian enter the hut before he looked away. Looking at the room in front of him where he had lived for a year, he didn't feel at all. It has never been any home or room, what he cares about is always the person who can accompany him.

It's just that Gu Zhi also keenly discovered that Shen Nian, who said he wanted to be with him, didn't seem to be able to quickly adapt to this relationship.

But will adapt.

I will let him adapt.

Gu Zhi started to clean up the room. Although he was really not good at this kind of work, he would not ask Shen Nian to help, even though he knew very well that Shen Nian would not be able to refuse as long as he opened his mouth. He is such a soft-hearted person. isn't it?

After wiping the dust twice, the room was almost ready. When Gu Zhi was about to go to the closet to get the quilt, Shen Nian appeared at the door of the room again, holding the medicine box in his hand. Gu Zhi smiled the first time he saw it, his eyes widened. Guang watched him approach step by step as if watching his own prey.

Shen Nian met his eyes: "What are you looking at me for?"

Gu Zhi didn't speak, and sat obediently on the side of the bed, dangling his legs to watch Shen Nian come and sit beside him, and opened the medicine box to prepare disinfection tools.

When the cotton swab was pressed on the wound on his forehead, there was blood oozing out, which should have hurt, but Gu Zhi didn't even change his breathing rate, as if he lacked the perception of pain.

"Close your eyes." Shen Nian admitted that he wanted to be alone, but he couldn't get used to the stubborn eyes.

Gu Zhi was very obedient, and closed his eyes, but the smile on the corner of his mouth seemed to be mocking Shen Nian's incompatibility. From such a close distance, Shen Nian naturally saw it, and was seen through by a child younger than himself. It didn't feel very good, but Shen Nian didn't care, and continued to help him treat the wounds. He was not curious about how these wounds came about, let alone asked.

It's just that when it was handled well, I asked Gu Zhi an unrelated question:

"Remember what you did to me before?"

Gu Zhi opened his eyes and looked at him, with no guilt or guilt on his face, he nodded calmly: "I remember."

"Do you think you did something wrong?"

Gu Zhi shook his head honestly: "Shen Chongshan said he would protect me. At that time, I believed in him. Even if I were asked to go back and do it all over again, I would still make the same choice."

He just wanted to hold on to what belonged to him, and even at this time he didn't feel that he had done anything wrong.

"Nian Nian, the relationship between you and Shen Chongshan is as fragile as paper, even without me, he still can't give you what you want, and will still make you feel wronged."

"It's two different things." After Shen Nian sterilized, he put a Band-Aid on his wound.Gu Zhi didn't seem to agree with Shen Nian's words, and didn't say anything else.

In fact, for Gu Zhi to be able to honestly express his feelings, even if he does not feel that he has done something wrong, Shen Nian also feels at ease. Thinking about what he was thinking.

"Maybe you didn't do anything wrong, but I'm still very sad because of what you did." Shen Nian tidied up the medicine box and looked up at him: "We will live together in the future, but because of what you did before, I'm so sad." Maybe there is no way to be free of grudges for the time being, you have a lot of criminal records with me, I need time."

Shen Nian is not like Gu Zhi, who can give everything if he recognizes one person.You can also switch between love and hate.

He has concerns and considerations.

With him, Gu Zhi is just a person to accompany him and bid farewell to loneliness, but he is still the one he doesn't like.

There may be reasons for the harm that Gu Zhi caused to himself, but the injured Shen Nian also has the right to refuse to forgive.

Whether the person who accompanies you is someone you like is another matter.

Gu Zhi couldn't get into his heart, and he didn't plan to let Gu Zhi in.

He just needs Gu Zhi to be by his side.

Regarding Shen Nian's words, Gu Zhi stared at him for a long time, just when Shen Nian thought that he would not accept it, he asked him:

"how long?"

"I don't know." Shen Nian said, "Maybe a month, maybe half a year."

Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian and confirmed again: "You won't leave me behind, will you?"

"No." Shen Nian looked at him: "You know, I don't want to be alone either."

"Okay, I understand." Gu Zhi nodded and relaxed a little: "I'll wait for you."

Shen Nian was a little surprised, but Gu Zhi looked at him with clear and bright eyes, making it impossible to see the slightest scheming, but Shen Nian was slightly uneasy, as if he had been seen through, what was he thinking, Gu Zhi all know.

"It's late." Gu Zhi said with a smile, "Nian Nian go to sleep."

Shen Nian didn't refuse, got up and left the room, Gu Zhi kept looking at Shen Nian, watched him disappear behind the door, and then slowly looked away to look out the window.

The rain had stopped, and he might get a good night's sleep tonight.

Thinking of Shen Nian's words just now, Gu Zhi couldn't help but smile again, obviously two years older than himself, but why is it so easy to guess, like a blank sheet of paper.

He wanted to tame himself, but he didn't want to be tamed by himself.

But Nian Nian, do you know that taming you is really easy.

-

As Gu Zhi said, it's getting late, it's time to go to bed.

But Shen Nian has gotten used to insomnia recently, he took it for granted that he would find it harder to fall asleep tonight than before, after all he made such a big decision not long ago, and it was impulsive and irrational, he At least think about what to do next, how to get along with Gu Zhi.

But unexpectedly, Shen Nian fell asleep very quickly, so fast that there was almost no process of falling asleep. These issues with Gu Zhi were indeed important, and Shen Nian knew it.But as long as he thinks that he is not alone at home, there is another person sleeping in another room, accompanying him, Shen Nian unexpectedly feels at ease.

Perhaps it was this down-to-earth that made him drowsy.

Gu Zhi was tidying up the room, and would make a little noise from time to time. This kind of sound could almost be regarded as noise at night, but Shen Nian didn't feel it at all. These sounds might be regarded as noise in the eyes of others, so To him, it was like a lullaby of peace of mind, always reminding him that he was no longer alone at home, and that someone else was with him.

In such a sound, he fell asleep unknowingly.

A night without dreams.

It rained all night, the courtyard should be full of fallen leaves, but when Shen Nian got up early the next day and walked out of the north room, he found that the small courtyard was clean, even the stagnant water had been swept away. When did Zhi wake up, and when did he do these things, he didn't even hear a sound.

Gu Zhi's behavior also made him feel a little surprised. It's not that he didn't get along with Gu Zhi, but even when Shen Chongshan was at home, Gu Zhi didn't seem to be so obedient, and he didn't take the initiative to undertake housework.

His room has also been tidy. Shen Nian went in and took a look but did not find Gu Zhi. He didn't seem to be at home. Shen Nian didn't know where he went. If he understands what Shen Nian thinks, then Shen Nian also understands Gu Zhi. He knows that after he reached a consensus with him last night, Gu Zhi will not leave no matter what, so there is no need to worry about him leaving again.

As he said, he will never let himself go in his life.

When Shen Nian finished washing and was packing his schoolbag in the room, there was a knock on the door, Shen Nian turned his head to look over, and saw Gu Zhi standing at the door, followed by bursts of fragrance, Gu Zhi raised his hand Breakfast in:

"I'm going to buy breakfast, do you want to eat?"

There is no breakfast sold in the village, Gu Zhi needs to go to a far place to buy breakfast, he wakes up earlier than he imagined.

"No." But Shen Nian still refused, he didn't regret the decision he made last night at all, but now he couldn't get close to Gu Zhi: "Eat by yourself, I'm running out of time."

The disappointment in Gu Zhi's eyes appeared almost instantly, but he probably remembered what Shen Nian said last night, so he didn't say anything, and took a step aside to let Shen Nian out.

Shen Nian should have left without looking back, but when he passed by Gu Zhi, he couldn't help but pause. He felt that Gu Zhi standing in front of him now looked like a scolded dog with its tail pulled. Dog, thinking like this made Shen Nian feel a little soft-hearted for no reason, but he didn't like how he was feeling right now, so he walked out quickly and went to school.

At school, the teacher told him that the application for accommodation had already come down, and he could move in today if he wanted.

To be honest, Shen Nian almost forgot about it. If this application had been approved before yesterday, Shen Nian might not have told Gu Zhi to 'stay'. After all, he just didn't want to be alone, and the accommodation would satisfy him. However, it was a coincidence that he told Gu Zhi that he didn't need to be alone after he had made an agreement with Gu Zhi.

When Shen Nian came home from school, Gu Zhi was sitting on a stone pier at the entrance of the alley, and next to him were elementary school students who had left early after school, playing with glass balls. The chatter was very lively, and Gu Zhi had no envy in his eyes, nor did he intend to blend in , he just watched, the doubt in his eyes seemed to not understand what's so interesting about those few beads.

When Shen Nian approached, Gu Zhi suddenly raised his head and looked over, met Shen Nian's gaze and smiled, quickly jumped off the stone pier, stood in front of Shen Nian, and welcomed him happily:

"Nian Nian is out of school."

"En." Shen Nian responded lightly and walked home, Gu Zhi didn't care about his indifference, and followed behind him without saying anything else.

Shen Nian was a little hungry, so he put down his schoolbag and went to the kitchen. He unexpectedly found that there were prepared ingredients in the kitchen. They had been washed and even cut, which could save Shen Nian a lot of time. He looked back and followed him Gu Zhi came in, Gu Zhi and Shen Nian looked at each other:

"I can't cook, but I can help."

Shen Nian didn't speak, and Gu Zhi didn't flinch in the slightest, so he was silent for a while, and finally Gu Zhi sighed lightly, as if he had compromised, and said:

"Well, I will learn to cook in the future."

Shen Nian indifferently withdrew his gaze and didn't look at him again. He concentrated on cooking. Gu Zhi did what he said and didn't leave. He stood aside obediently and watched Shen Nian cooking. His expression and eyes were telling Shen Nian that he was He was really serious about studying, Shen Nian didn't stop him, he should learn.

When I was 11 years old, I knew how to cook. I stepped on a small bench at the stove, and my cooking skills were developed little by little from that time.

Gu Zhi is now older than he was then, so it's not too difficult to do these things.

After the meal was ready, Gu Zhi helped to bring it to the table, and obediently waited for Shen Nian to sit down before taking his seat. His appearance really made it impossible to see the traces of his previous disgust. If Gu Zhi came to the house, he would look like this It seems that maybe they can get along well, and Shen Nian can even take good care of Shen Chongshan when he chooses to go out again.

Treat him as your own brother.

But the reality is that they have all taken an abnormal path, and it is hard to say whether they will return to the normal way now, but it will be easier than before.

Probably because he saw that Shen Nian didn't really want to talk, Gu Zhi was also very quiet at the dinner table, he didn't say a word, and even took the initiative to grab the job of washing dishes after the meal, Shen Nian didn't stop him, he cooked for himself and he washed the dishes. Bowl, this is reasonable, they are little friends who live together, and it is not who has the responsibility to take care of the other.

Even if it is to take care of, it should be mutual.